*whistles innocently*

[kippurbird]

*is a bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad person. Really, just bad.*

Lay your blame on this one for dove_cg.


Slowly Eragon came out of the darkness that always seemed to accompany the horrifying pain that the scar gave him. He found himself on the ground could see Oromis' feet. Slowly he stood up, putting his hand gingerly to his back.

"Master... I don't understand. No one has been able to discover a reason for the pain in my back. They all say that I'm perfectly healthy," he implored his master, the wise elf.

For a long time, Oromis stared at him, his face perfectly blank. Then he sighed. "This is something that I had not thought I would need to discuss with you."

"What?"

"Come with me." And Oromis turned and started to walk deep into the forest. Eragon followed him, hobbling almost. His back hurt, and his stomach felt like he was going to exorcise all its contents. They walked in silence, as they often were want to do. Eragon thought about opening his mind up, but he hurt too badly to do it.

After a half an hour of walking, they entered a quiet glade with two stones. Oromis sat on one and indicated that Eragon should sit on the other. When he had done so, the elf stared up into the canopy.

"You know, that when a dragon bonds with their chosen Rider, the Rider goes through certain changes, yes?"

Eragon nodded, and unconsciously fingered his ears.

"The outside is not the only thing that changes. We found, over the years, that the male Riders who bonded with female dragons became... special."

"Special how?"

"Eragon, have you enjoyed the company of a man since you bonded with Saphira?" Oromis asked, seemingly changing the subject.

"Of course I have, Murtagh... and Brom."

"No, I mean, have you been intimate with a man?"

Eragon's eyes widened for a second, remembering some of the nights with Murtagh and Brom, "What if I have? What does this have to do with my back?"

Oromis folded his hands, "Eragon, the change that the female dragon causes in their male Rider is to give them the ability to become pregnant."

"Pregnant? I'm Pregnant?"

"Yes, I believe so."

And Eragon fainted as the horror of what he heard overcame his senses and all he wanted was the sanctuary of darkness.

Comments

[ghostgecko.livejournal.com]

Kippur wins the internets!
So, all that fainting was orthostatic hypertension?
You know, if this actually happened, I'd probably read the books. Well, maybe.
Now write one where Eragon lays an egg.

[prototypical]

Don't encourage her or I'll choke on something that I can't cough up as easily as rice.

[dove-cg.livejournal.com]

Couscous would be easier. Try eating couscous while reading Kippur's LJ posts. :D

[dove-cg.livejournal.com]

You know, if this actually happened, I'd probably read the books. Well, maybe.

I'm with you on that. Isn't it kind scary when a book is so bad that we need M-Preg to make it better? I_I

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Yes, that's why he's always fainting.

Eragon laying an egg... hrrrmmm.... >.>

[starsong24.livejournal.com]

Eragon laying eggs is remniscent of tentacle porn.

[authoressarktos.livejournal.com]

You HAVE to write one where Eragon lays an egg. it's just too hilarious an idea; to not take advantage of it would be a crime against Humanity! (As it is, it'll be quite awhile before Humanity recovers from a Certain Unnamed Author I Need Not Mention)