Alternative writings

Bamf'ed

It was the end of the midnight showing of the Return of the King. Three hours of blissful torture, for Arty at least. She had gone to see the end of the trilogy and ended up sitting next to three Lego-lusting girls. Throughout the entire film whenever Legolas was on screen they would gush excitedly. “He’s so hot!” “Isn’t he wonderful!” “I want to marry him!” “You? You think that his last name was Greenleaf!”  It was enough that Arty almost dumped her popcorn on them.  Free from them now that the movie was over she hit the bathrooms. A large soda during a three hour movie she didn’t want to miss a minute of lead to a very full bladder. Unfortunately, the three girls had the same thought.

In the bathroom she had to suffer through the same endless prattling. 

“Did you that the novelization of the movies got so much stuff wrong?  I mean they had some elf dude rescue Frodo instead of Arwen… not that I mind, because she’s such a bitch!”  One girl said as they were washing their hands.

Arty had enough. Throwing down her crumpled paper towel she glowered at the three girls. “The Lord of the Rings was a Book long before it was a movie. Glorfindel is not some elf dude, Peter Jackson took him out of the movie for God only knows what reason, and Arwen is not a Bitch,” she snapped at them and stalked out of the bathroom, to the sounds of “Gee, what’s her problem?”

Shaking her head Arty pushed open the door and froze. The outside of the bathroom didn’t look like a movie theatre any more.