kippurbird | Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!

Westley: Who are you? Are we enemies? Why am I on this wall? Where is Buttercup?
Inigo Montoya: Let me 'splain.
[pause]
Inigo Montoya: No, there is too much. Let me sum up. Buttercup is marry' Humperdinck in a little less than half an hour. So all we have to do is get in, break up the wedding, steal the princess, make our escape... after I kill Count Rugen. ~ The Princess Bride (for those of you who didn't know)

It has come to my attention, or lack there of, that I really, really, really, really need to finish this book. So, I'm going to try and sum up, as Inigo suggests.

Chapter forty seven -

Anita is in pain. She's being attacked by the mother of all darkness, etc, etc. She's in a dream and isn't herself and then she wakes up and her hand is curled around a cross which melted in her hand. Woo. Doctor shows up and gives Anita drugs.

Chapter forty eight.

Doctor *asks Nathaniel and Micah to distract Anita.*

Nathaniel *kisses her. *

Kip: O.o

Kip: *remembers what book he's reading*

Kip:*headdesks*

Anita:*worries about the Mother of All Darkness, thinking that if she left the MoAD could take them all.*

Kip: As the MoAD seems to want Anita, I'd have dumped her ages ago.

Nathaniel:*carries her to the limo*

Doctor: *Says Anita needs to call up the munin*

Hamilton: "Munin were the ancestral spirits of the wolf pack. But they could be more "lively" than just a normal ancestor worship.

Kip: The spirits worship themselves?

Hamilton: Shut up, I'm writing genius here. "Especially if you had psychic ability, or, most yummy, talent with the undead,

Kip: Stop with the yummy already. I have enough issues with food.

Hamilton: You're ruining my greatness! "the munin could be much, much more lively. Raina was the old lupa of the pack. I'd killed her because she was trying to kill me. The munin could "possess" people who had the talent for it. I'd become her favorite ride"

Kip: Of Coooourse.

Alec: It gets worse.

Kip: Of Cooooourse.

Hamilton: Because every thing needs to have sex to work.

Raina: *was a sexual sadist and can heal with sex*

Hamilton: Anita's like Rogue! "The ardeur wasn't normally a thing of healing, and Jean-Claude had speculated that the fact that I could heal with sex and metaphysics might be more because of Raina's munin than vampire powers. It was almost as if the more often I was used by, or borrowed magic from, someone else, the more likely it became that their magic would become part of my arsenal."

Alec: I used to do that. But then I'm a great big Honking STU!. Twit.

Anita: Dun wanna call up Raina.

Doctor: You need to. You've been drugged silly because I'm a horrible doctor and over drugged you thus needing to have my license taken away. You're a human not a lycanthrope, any intelligent doctor would have known not to drug you like a lycanthrope. It can be Malpractice tiem nao?

Anita: Don't want to.

Doctor: If you don't then Jean-Claude won't be able to fight against the other masters.

Kip: I thought they weren't going to fight.

Hamilton: SHUT UP!!

Anita: Fine.

Nathaniel: *is NAKED**with a collar. For some reason*

Kip: Collar? Eh? Eh? Eh? He's not a pet NOOOO. Even if the collar is made with amethyst and diamonds. Nope. Not a pet. Completely and utterly free. Yup.

Nathaniel: *is not arrested for indecency.*

Kip: And this place is supposed to be crawling with cops.

Doctor: Rania likes new victims! Let's give her Requiem!

Requiem: Um. Hey! Sex! Wait... no, she doesn't get what she's doing. It's rape.

Doctor: Give Requiem permission.

Anita: I give permission.

Doctor: There you go.

Requiem: Okay! =D

Jason: *undresses Anita*

Anita:*reflects that they have a shit load of problems... and she's going to have sex to help solve them.*

Kip*headdesks*

Noel: *WHY AM I HERE?! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?! WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU PEOPLE!?!*

Jason: We couldn't find anyone else. Suck it up.

Anita; Get the baby out.

Noel:*Gets out, is probably very happah*

*Tehre is almost sex, and Anita's hand is healed.*

Anita:*suggests Requiem should walk around naked more often, because he's pretty when he's naked*

Requiem: "If I were truly beautiful you would have found your way to my bed weeks ago"

Anita: *SOMEHOW, figures out how to Heal Requiem, when she never knew how to do it before*

Requiem: *gives her sex to heal her from healing him...*

Chapter fifty:

There is sex. With a CONDOM!

Then they decided she's not fed enough. She needs more sex. No. really.

Chapter fifty one:

She, Nathaniel and Jason fuck.

There is simultaneous orgasm.

Chapter fifty two

Vampires:*are gay and poofy. They dance!*

*For seven pages*

Chapter fifty three:

Anita: Why did you roll the master vampires.

Merlin (head of the vampire dancers) I didn't.

Anita: Did.

Merlin: Didn't, oh by the way I'm THE Merlin, from King Arthur.

Kip: They're all nuts.

Merlin: You're a SPESHUL Necromancer Anita.

Kip: This is news?

Anita: I am?!

Merlin: MoAD likes you.

Blah, blah, blah.

Anita: I need to have sex again.

Asher: Okay! =D Yay I get attention! =D

Asher:*agnsts while he's at it* NO ONE LOVES ME! NO ONE LOVES ME I'M ALL ALONE!!*

Fifty four:

They fuck.

Hamilton uses this line: "So tight tonight, so tight. Forcing me to fight for every inch. I love it."

Kip:*bashes head through desk* Crap...

They fuck so hard Anita passes out.

From blood loss.

Chapter fifty five:

Anita:*wakes up in the hospital*

Asher: The fuck gave me an animal to call!

Kip: I think it's a hyena.

Asher: But I almost killed you, so I must off and angst because I'm a horrible person and shouldn't be left alone with you anymore.

Anita: But the sex was great! It was fantastic! You can't leave. I need more!

Asher: Um... all right. But didn't I sort of rape you?

Anita; Naaaaaaah. Only because the sex was great.

Asher: Okay! =D

Book: Ends. Nothing is resolved.

Kip: *returns it happily to the library*