I really need to remember my meds.

[kippurbird]

It's five forty in the morning where I am, and I've slept maybe an hour. I forgot to take my anti-manic meds. Anyway, my mind tends to buzz horribly when I'm like this (perfectly reasonable hence the whole you know manic shit) bouncing around the stories I read from the hundred dollars worth of comic books I bought yesterday. And drifting over my novel. Of course.

Again, originally, I had planned for Jono to be a complete and utter evil dickwad from dickwad hell. But he's not.

Originally, also, I had planned for Jono to die and Alec to fall in love with a dragon named Verra Rose.

But the way the story is shaping up? It doesn't look like Jono's going to die at all. And that he and Verra's character purposes and stuff are merging into one. Jono's become the person I needed to use Verra for. And since that's happened, I don't need Verra any more.

Which may explain why I had such a hard time writing about the two of them getting married.

Of course, when I created Verra, I was still in my... for lack of a better word, naive stage. Being autistic and all helped with this. But I just didn't realize or well... homosexuality just didn't exist in my world. Honestly, I didn't know about it. It wasn't that my parents kept me sheltered or anything. I just... it didn't happen to intrude in my world and so it didn't exist. And so, of course, Alec got married to a girl.

Once I found out about it, through slash no less (yay the internet is for p0rn) the Alec and Lorac bit sort of fell together. Mostly because I had been trying to keep them straight and well, they weren't.

And Alec just felt - just worked better - in relationships with men.

My future critics are going to have a field day with this. They're going be using my gender identity disorder to explain why Alec ended up a gay man after trying to be a straight traditional man. There'll be talk about gender roles. I just know it.

Anyway, these are just my thoughts. I hope to use Verra somewhere else, because I like her. She's a dragon with a Martha Stewart complex. How can you not like that?

Comments

[evewithanapple.livejournal.com]

I had the same problem- Richard moves in next to Kate, but there's no attraction (at least on his part) And then Alexander shows up. I don't mind. I like the idea of writing gay characters. And the critics thing depends on whether or not you're going to be openly trans and/or if you mention that he was originally straight.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

I have written stories where he's originally straight. =D And the critics I'm talking about are those future ones long after I'm dead who are studying my works as part of their classwork.

I'm not at all vain.

[christinaathena.livejournal.com]

I've had the opposite occurrence to your "merging" of characters. My Dzesa has had to be split into two characters, because I discovered I was envisioning contradictory things for her. There's no way that one person could've reigned long enough for the "early part of her reign" and the "later part of her reign" to be a single person, unless there was unnaturally fast technological growth! Like, the start of her reign was roughly WWII-level, while the later part saw space colonization. Plus, I sometimes saw her as a noblewoman and sometimes as an Empress. So, I came to the conclusion that there were actually two people. The first one was a noblewoman who ruled in the Empress' name. She married her son off to the Crown Princess, and their daughter later became Empress and was "Dzesa II" (or whatever her name is). Thus, the one was the paternal grandmother of the other. :-)

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Characters are horrible like that, aren't they? Wouldn't it be nice if they just came out and said what they mean? Or at least just be who they are with out all the messing around shit that makes you work to figure out who they are?

When I saw the name Dzesa for a second I thought it was Durza. I was confused. =D

[imaniakelman.livejournal.com]

Hi! I found your journal a while back while looking for Eragon-sporkings. May I friend you?

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Sure!