(no subject)

[kippurbird]

Beginning line from a story I'll likely never get around to writing:

"There are many reasons to break up with your boyfriend, he cheated on you, he's a jerk, his father is an eldrich abmonation planning on wiping out humanity with a plague and he never told you. Things like that. Guess which one I had."

Comments

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

It's so awkward when your boyfriend's father is Cthulhu.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

It is. How do you even explain it to your family?

[fritters.livejournal.com]

Love it!

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

I hope I get around to writing it some day!

[jacedraccus.livejournal.com]

My Big Fat Rl'yeh Wedding?

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Possibly.

[ragman-jack.livejournal.com]

All of the above?

Reminds me of an Anita Blake blurb.

"Richard was an Alpha Werewolf. It was his only serious flaw. We'd broken up after I'd seen him eat someone."

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

HOW DARE YOU COMPARE MY BRILLIANCE WITH THAT OF LKH!?

[ragman-jack.livejournal.com]

I dare mighty things, fellow writer! Far better it is to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, then to rank with those timid spirits who neither enjoy, nor suffer much because they live in the grey twilight that knows neither victory or defeat.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Fine. I shall just have to poke you mightily with a stick.

[ashen_key]

...that is brilliant.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

And maybe one day there will be story.

[lccorp2.livejournal.com]

To be honest, it doesn't appeal to me. It's like opening a query with a rhethorical question.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Well, not every opening is going to do it for everyone. It amuses me mostly.

[kjtaylor.livejournal.com]

Don't mind him; all he ever does is find things to complain about. It's his hobby.

[falconwhitaker.livejournal.com]

He should date Raven from Teen Titans :P

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Eheheh. That would be interesting. But Raven's dad's a demon isn't he, not an eldrich abomination.

[falconwhitaker.livejournal.com]

Trigon is a demon, yes, but he is also trying to kill all humanity, so the spirit is similar.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

I think most of the uber DC villains try to do that. It's their thing.

[falconwhitaker.livejournal.com]

Very true. But it's also the inter-dimensional horror aspect, I suppose.

[kjtaylor.livejournal.com]

Heh, not bad.
Did you ever hear of that contest thing they have to see who can come up with the worst opening sentences ever? They published their best entries in a book called It Was a Dark and Stormy Night (the quintissential bad opening line, apparently).

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Yes. There's nothing like the trauma of discovering your boyfriend's father is an eldrich abomination and now you have to save humanity.

I have heard of it and on a few occasions thought of some sentences to put in it, but never submitted.

[chocolatemithra.livejournal.com]

No line that opened "A Wrinkle in Time" could be bad.

[kjtaylor.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I've seen a few people argue that "it was a dark and stormy night" isn't actually a bad opening at all. It's just somehow wound up labelled as such. It could be because it's in the passive voice, or just because (nowadays) it's pretty cliched. Other than that, though, it's okay. Definitely not the worst opening I've ever seen.

Hey, why don't we have a "bad opening sentences-off"? I'll start!

"Time is not a concept. It is a word"
~Kenneth Eng, opening sentence to the infamous Dragons: Lexicon Triumvirate

Last I heard, the guy who wrote that had been arrested pending a psychiatric evaluation. Makes you think, doesn't it?

[chocolatemithra.livejournal.com]

Makes you think, doesn't it?

Wow. Just googled that guy. I mean... wow.

Via Bulwer-Lytton, here's Danielle Steele in Star: "She wore a dress the same color as her eyes her father brought her from San Francisco."

[kjtaylor.livejournal.com]

...that's seriously how's it's written? (Lack of) punctuation and all?

[chocolatemithra.livejournal.com]

Sadly, yes. It's like Cormac McCarthy translated into Japanese and back to English.

[kjtaylor.livejournal.com]

Good gods, the stuff that gets published...

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Her father bought her eyes from San Francisco?

[chocolatemithra.livejournal.com]

Very nice. This isn't my kind of story but if it were my kind of story I would find this a cool opening, if that makes any sense.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Yes, it does make complete sense.