*Gnaws on things*

[kippurbird]

Random Rage Against Next Brisingr Chapter:

• Orik had greeted Eragon like a brother and then had taken him to the baths and, when he was clean, saw to it that he was garbed in a robe of deep purple, with a gold circlet for his brow.



• The horned mountain goats bounded across the sward, each leap over seventy feet long



• The other dwarf did not cover himself with his shield, but rather reached out and, with amazing dexterity, caught the spear by the shaft

Comments

[brightrosefox.livejournal.com]

...it could almost be bad porn.

[ivymutant.livejournal.com]

You mean, I missed the point completely, and it isnt bad porn??

[brightrosefox.livejournal.com]

Did I say almost? Okay, it is bad porn! :D

[torylltales.livejournal.com]

Purple bathrobe...?

Orik is Hugh Hefner?

Egad, does {Paolini have any sense of scale at all? Those mountain goats had better have freaking wings growing from their shoulders.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Egad, does {Paolini have any sense of scale at all?

No.

[easol.livejournal.com]

Add winged mountain goats to the zombie horses and the leather-wearing vegetarian elves...

[carolpent.livejournal.com]

That second one seems awfully specific. How would they know the leap wasn't 69 feet and eleven inches?

[ravenswept.livejournal.com]

Oh great, a 69 reference in a thread that started with porn.

Actually, if you think about the Eragon story as softcore in the first place, the whole book series becomes surprisingly tolerable.

[easol.livejournal.com]

Presumably the force required to bound seventy feet leaves some pretty deep hoofprints. All the dwarves have to do is measure the distance between them.

[kellicat.livejournal.com]

How big are these goats anyways?

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Big enough to carry dwarves.

[(Anonymous)]

Am I the only one who thought of Dionysus on the first one?

[easol.livejournal.com]

No, you weren't. My first thought was, "And now the bacchanal! GRAPES!"

[gjohnsonkoehn.livejournal.com]

The horned mountain goats bounded across the sward, each leap over seventy feet long

The hell? According to Wiki, an adult mountain goat stands about three feet from shoulders to waist, on average. That means these goats are leaping twenty times their own height with each bound. And the sentence construction implies they're doing this regularly.

It's not even about not having a sense of scale, at that point. It should be literally impossible to read 'mountain goats jumped seventy feet' and see this as okay!

[huinesoron.livejournal.com]

But perhaps they are goat feet. How long is a hoof, compared to the length of an average goat?

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

It wouldn't be as impressive if it were goat feet.

[easol.livejournal.com]

They're like, an inch long, aren't they? I can buy them jumping six-ish feet.

[foxypope.livejournal.com]

I assume these goats were on the ten mile high mountain? If so, they could be in space, or at least sticking out of the atmosphere. Which means a lack of gravity. BAM, big moon-walking goat leaps. Just imagine the goats with little air-tanks and space helmets and it works.

[easol.livejournal.com]

Space goats! Bounding along the atmosphere-piercing mountain in their little helmets! I love it!