(no subject)

[kippurbird]

Chapter Eight: Winged Tidings



So, now that Nasuada, leader of the Varden and one of the few hopes that they have to free the world from the Evil Galby has critically injured herself by losing lots of blood in some stupid tribal ritual we get to deal with the aftermath. IE she keeps on passing out because of said blood loss. Jörmundur, her right hand man who I shall now call Jordan for easier spelling, wakes her up worried. And there's an interesting bit of conversation.

Nasuada says that she's fine and Jordan says, "And my uncle is an elf". Her response is, "Isn't he?" Which seems to indicate that there are elf/human relationships, because Jordan never corrects her. Does this mean that there are half-elves out and about? If so, where are they? What are they like? It's such an off-handed comment and it raises so many questions that I'm actually interested in knowing this bit about Paolini's world. See, this was a subtle way to bring up a part of the culture in his world. It's dropped in as part of the conversation as opposed to being thrown at the reader like a falling piano. There's no LOOK LOOK LOOK!!! I CREATED CULTURE!!! EVEN IF IT WASN'T THERE BEFORE!!! Of course, it's likely he did it by accident in a moment of Aren't I Clever? Because it feels like an Aren't I Clever moment.

She kicks out her maid servant and Jordan after asking for Angela to come and tend to her arms. They protest, not wanting to leave her alone and unprotected. Which makes me wonder, what's up with those guards? Are they just for show? No, it's just an excuse for more of Paolini's pretty prose.

“No,” she said gently. Seeing the hurt and indignation that appeared in Jörmundur’s eyes, she continued. “It’s not that I doubt your loyalty—far from it. Only, this I must have for myself. For the sake of my own peace of mind, I need to have a dagger no one else can see: a hidden weapon tucked up my sleeve, if you will. Consider it a flaw in my character, but do not torment yourself by imagining my choice is in any way a criticism of how you perform your duties.”

It sounds impressive, doesn't it? It feels like a characterization moment, but things don't quite make sense. Especially when we discover what this weapon is. I dislike the stilted language, "Consider it a flaw in my character... do not torment yourself by imagining my choice..." It's supposed to be formal but it sounds wooden and fake.

The maid servant and Jordan leave and after a minute Elva appears with one of Paolini's over stretched similies. "Then, from behind her, there came a slight rustling, like that of a mouse nosing about for food." It's not just a mouse but it has to be a particular mouse doing a particular thing, because they make particular noises doing particular things.

Elva is our creepy child. In book one she was an infant and then Eragon blessed her and Saphira gave her a dragon mark. What the mark does? It turns her into a Sue.

The girl’s unnatural growth had continued. When Nasuada first met her but a short while ago, Elva had appeared between three and four years old. Now she looked closer to six. Her plain dress was black, with a few folds of purple around the neck and shoulders. Her long, straight hair was even darker: a liquid void that flowed down to the small of her back. Her sharp-angled face was bone white, for she rarely ventured outside. The dragon mark on her brow was silver. And her eyes, her violet eyes, contained a jaded, cynical air—the result of Eragon’s blessing that was a curse, for it forced her to both endure other people’s pain and also try to prevent it. The recent battle had almost killed her, what with the combined agony of thousands beating upon her mind, even though one of Du Vrangr Gata had placed her in an artificial slumber for the duration of the fighting, in an attempt to protect her. Only recently had the girl begun to speak and take interest in her surroundings again.

She wiped her rosebud mouth with the back of her hand, and Nasuada asked, “Were you ill?”

Liquid void. I'm thinking oil here, crude oil, like what tankers carry and when it spills it kills lots of things. Hair is not liquid. It shouldn't be described as such. Hair may be described as flowing but that doesn't make it liquid. Oh dear lord, it's long enough to reach her back. Do people not realize how difficult it is to have hair that long? At least it's not Blake long but really, keeping that tangle free is a mess and a half. Not that we ever see it. Sue hair is always perfect. I've yet to see people shave or comb their hair. I've seen bathing, and I wished I didn't. It's probably things like this that makes people like that guy in my graduate creative writing course say, "I didn't realize wizards went to the bathroom" when I included a scene of a wizard shaving. Of course that guy also thought that writing a short story five times and not including a specific vowel was high art. But I digress.

Other sue traits? Our lovely rosebud mouth and violet eyes. Also, she continues Paolini's incredible healing abilities. The battle was about a week -two weeks ago - and the trauma of feeling all those people die nearly killed her, but she's up and about. It wasn't even that she went catatonic she stopped taking an interest in her surroundings. Jean Grey, to make a small comparison, when her powers first appeared, she felt the death of her best friend in a car accident. She was in a coma for an unspecified amount of time. That was from the death of one person. If, as she says, she feels the pain of everyone who gets hurt she should have been much more damaged, magic sleep or not. But as usual, she's a cool character and so recovers remarkably quickly.

Elva is bitter and sarcastic, as would I be if I had to suffer under Eragon's mistakes, and practically rude to Nasuada.

She also lied about the Trial of the Long Knives. She saw that Nasuada would lose, but said otherwise so that she would have the fortitude to go on. Or as she says, “If I had allowed events to take their course, your nerve would have broken on the seventh cut and Fadawar would be sitting where you are now. So I told you what you needed to hear in order to prevail.” Which seems to me being little more than changing the odds. Rather like drugging a horse. She might not have seen anything. After this, I would have a hard time trusting her so called visions. She admitted lying, how would I know that she wouldn't lie the next time? Lying makes everything tricky. Nasuada feels only like she is even now more into Elva's debt.

I believe what Paolini was trying to show is that you can fight and defy fate. However, that only works if you know what fate your are trying to avoid. Instead, Elva is now an unreliable prophet. No prophet worth their salt would admit to being wrong. Because, as mentioned, it ruins their credibility.

Of course that's also why you're supposed to keep your prophecies vague. Annoying as it is, that way it can be the person who you give it to's fault instead of yours because they didn't understand it or interpret it right.

Angela then shows up with Serious Ass (sorry, Solembum). Angela, to refresh our memories, is based on Paolini's sister, right down to having the same name. She comes in with a bunch of luggage to tend to Nasuda's wounds. I think it's a bit odd she needs all this stuff, but um... it makes for a nice entrance.

Angela bustled into the pavilion, carrying several bags and baskets looped over her arms. As always, her curly hair formed a stormy cloud around her face, which was pinched with concern. At her heels padded the werecat Solembum, in his animal form. He immediately angled toward Elva and began to rub against her legs, arching his back as he did.

She looks like a big busy body and all professional like, with this entrance. Angela tends to Nasuada's arms complaining about how she seems to keep on patching people, like Eragon, doing silly things up. And she does the typical Men! always doing the violent way to decide things! speech. She sounds almost like a Yiddish Bubbie.



I have no idea if that was the image Paolini was going for.

I'm starting to wonder what the point of Nasuada's guards are. When they call out halt to stop someone to entering the pavilion, she and Angela immediately draw weapons. Because every person who is going to try and enter the pavilion is a hostile attacker who will be able to get past her trained guards and if they do then their two little daggers are going to be so much help. Right then. But it makes for drama. Especially because Paolini can show how special Elva is as she acts completely unconcerned about the person trying to get in. Obviously she has super uber special powers.

Instead it turns out some guy saw Eragon approaching. He doesn't even get to come into the tent, because one of their own soldiers is obviously a hostile target. As they all relax, Nasuada asks for Angela's assistance in getting dressed and then they have the most peculiar discussion.

Nasuada surveyed her arms and saw no trace of her bandages. “Should I hide or reveal my injuries?” she asked.

“That depends,” said Angela. “Do you think showing them will increase your standing or encourage your enemies, because they assume you are weak and vulnerable? The question is actually a rather philosophical one, predicated on whether when looking at a man who has lost a big toe, you say, ‘Oh, he’s a cripple’ or ‘Oh, he was smart or strong or lucky enough to escape worse injury.’”

“You make the strangest comparisons.”

“Thank you.”

“The Trial of the Long Knives is a contest of strength,” said Elva. “That is well known among the Varden and Surdans. Are you proud of your strength, Nasuada?”

“Cut off the sleeves,” said Nasuada. When they hesitated, she said, “Go on! At the elbows. Don’t mind the dress; I shall have it repaired later.”

It would be one thing to reveal the scars but all she is revealing right now are the bandages. I imagine the talk in the camp would be enough right then, as she's not trying to impress her own people who are already loyal to her. But again, it sounds dramatic, doesn't it? The cutting of her fine dress to show the marks of her contest of strength. To show how much she cared about leading her people. In regards to the lost toe analogy... both are true and both are likely to be thought. They aren't comparable. One doesn't diminish the other.

The four of them go out and are surrounded by her useless guards, humans in the front, dwarves in the back and Kull the really big urgals who aren't at all related to the Ura-kai on her side. No sign of what instruments they're playing. I suppose it should be a lute and a harp. One of those little harps. They're wearing sprightly colors and caps with long feathers in them as they skip merrily... >.>

What?

Paolini indulges in his thesaurus abuse to describe night falling onto the camp.

Dusk spread its gold and purple wings over the Varden’s encampment, lending a sense of mystery to the rows of canvas tents that extended beyond the limits of Nasuada’s sight. Deepening shadows presaged the advent of night, and countless torches and watch fires already glowed pure and bright in the warm twilight. The sky was clear to the east. South, a long, low cloud of black smoke hid the horizon and the Burning Plains, which were a league and a half away. West, a line of beeches and aspens marked the path of the Jiet River, upon which floated the Dragon Wing , the ship Jeod and Roran and the other villagers from Carvahall had pirated. But Nasuada had eyes only for the north, and the glittering shape of Saphira descending thence. Light from the fading sun still illuminated her, cloaking her in a blue halo. She appeared like a cluster of stars falling from the heavens.

Okay, that last sentence? Totally unnecessary. Pure and bright? Rather weird descriptions for fire. I am imagining angels now. But it sounds pretty.

The poor guy who called it out, tells Nasuada that see he told her so. The thing is, no one ever doubted that he saw it. He gets a name though Fletcher son of Harden as Nasuada asks for it and gives him her thanks. It would have been more impressive or important if someone actually protested the idea of Saphira being seen so soon or that no one else saw her when he did. The entire exchange however, without this previous one, is moot and confusing.

The landing field is filled with people who don't have better things to do than to watch the pretty disco ball dragon land. These include king Orrin, Narheim the dwarf ambassador left by Orik who had to go back home and tend to things, Jordan and the council of useless people and Arya, the elf.

The tall elf woman wove her way through the crowd toward Nasuada. Even with Saphira nigh upon them, men and women alike tore their gaze from the sky to watch Arya’s progress, she presented such a striking image. Dressed all in black, she wore leggings like a man, a sword on her hip, and a bow and quiver on her back. Her skin was the color of light honey. Her face was as angular as a cat’s. And she moved with a slinking, muscular grace that bespoke her skill with a blade, and also her supernatural strength.

Her eccentric ensemble had always struck Nasuada as slightly indecent; it revealed so much of her form. But Nasuada had to admit that even if Arya donned a gown of rags, she would still appear more regal and dignified than any mortal-born noble.

Arya appears to have gone all emo. She wasn't wearing all black last time we saw her. Slinking muscular grace does not equal skill with a sword. The way she handles a sword indicates skill with a sword. I'm sure there are many people who can slink around with a sword and not know how to handle one. Unfortunately there was no other way, I imagine, for Paolini to figure out how to put in how uber awesome she was with a sword. Or he could have said, she carried herself like a professional warrior long adjective and metaphor description to follow here.

She points out how awesome Nasuada was for doing what she did at the trial of the long knives.

“As the poet Earnë said, to place yourself in harm’s way for the sake of the people and the country you love is the finest thing one can do. I have known every leader of the Varden, and they were all mighty men and women, and none so much as Ajihad. In this, though, I believe you have surpassed even him.”

Nasuada didn't put herself into harm's way. Putting self in harm's way is when you push someone out of the way of an on-coming truck, not slicing your arm. But, it still sounds awesome. Angela continues to be mysterious by saying that she's very old, much like Galby. But before we can find out how old she is, Elva lets Nasuada know that Eragon isn't on Saphira, but Roran and Katrina are.

This alarms Nasuada and she clears out the field except for the important people. Arya assures her that Eragon is okay, because Saphira isn't upset.

Katrina is remarkably unscarred from her recent trauma.

Striding forward, Nasuada examined Katrina. She was curious to see what kind of woman could inspire a man to undertake such extraordinary feats in order to rescue her. The young woman before her was strong-boned, with the pallid complexion of an invalid, a mane of copper hair, and a dress so torn and filthy, it was impossible to determine what it might have looked like originally. In spite of the toll her captivity had taken, it was apparent to Nasuada that Katrina was attractive enough, but not what the bards would call a great beauty. However, she possessed a certain force of gaze and bearing that made Nasuada think that if Roran had been the one captured, Katrina would have been just as capable of rousing the villagers of Carvahall, getting them south to Surda, fighting in the Battle of the Burning Plains, and then continuing on to Helgrind, all for the sake of her beloved. Even when she noticed Garzhvog, Katrina did not flinch or quail but remained standing where she was, next to Roran.

Hello, tortured by evil creatures for who knows how long? And she's fine? She's only got a pallid complexion to show for it? What toll of her captivity? She shouldn't be able to tell what color hair Katrina has or if she was attractive or not. She should be cowering from the urgal who is supposed to be evil. Of course her just standing there all limp like could convey the fact that she's gone completely into shock, except for the strong gaze of hers. If she's supposed to be so powerful, why didn't she fight back against the Ra'zac? We are getting told all these things about Katrina that there's no way to prove it and she doesn't show it. She's just, to me, standing there like a limp rag.

It gets even sillier when we learn that people are already singing songs about Roran's devotion to her and that the men around them only had eyes for her. Nasuada noticed that the king had eyes only for Katrina, as did every man present, including the dwarves, and Nasuada was certain they would be recounting tales of Katrina’s charms to their comrades-in-arms before the night was out. What Roran had done on her behalf elevated her far above ordinary women; it made her an object of mystery, fascination, and allure to the warriors.

And that is just over doing it a little. Eyes only for Katrina makes it seem like she's being lusted after. And she hasn't been showing any sort of charms. She's just standing there. Doing nothing! Okay, she curtsied! But that's it! Nothing charming about that! She's just there. But of course, since she was rescued in a dramatic matter, it automatically makes her sexually interesting. Despite the fact that she should smell like shit. She doesn't. No mention of her smell is made at all. I would think it was an important part. Especially for Mr.Over Description. In fact she continues to be fine, even embarrassed about all the attention she's getting.

Nasuada is jealous and thinks about how she'd maybe like to end up with Orrin -in an arranged marriage thing, but doesn't have time for such things as marriage and romance, busy as she is.

Saphria wants to know who hurt Nasuada and promises to tear them into pieces for her. But Nasuada wants to know about Eragon. No one is happy to learn that he decided to stay in the Empire. After all, they need their dragon rider with them and not off chasing Ra'zac. Duh.

So! Arya decides to go and find him. By running and looking everywhere she can.

Or someone could um... use a spell and locate him. Or Saphria could use her bond to find him.

But that's not dramatic. And if there's one thing we know about Paolini, it's all about the drama! Logic always takes second place to the drama. So, before anyone could stop her, Arya's run off to find Eragon.



I bred a winter egg. How about that.

Comments

[oozaru-angel.livejournal.com]

Great sporking as always. Not much else to comment on because... God, these people are stupid. I do kinda ship Nasuada and Orrin now though.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

They are, aren't they? It's like they have some sort of suicide complex.

That is a ship I could get behind.

[torylltales.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's all the inbreeding in mountain Montana Alagaesia.

I'm more interestied in Nasuada/Jormundr. Something about those two's interations...

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Jormundr is ooooold. So he can't marry Nasuada. That'd be icky.

[torylltales.livejournal.com]

That's what makes the ship so interesting! :D

It's like those rich old wrinkly millionaire types who marry 20-something blondes just because they can.

[pandoras-closet.livejournal.com]

I'm halfway tempted to write a bad novel just so you can rip it to shreds.

[mranon-y-mous.livejournal.com]

We could work on it together, but it'll probably end up being so bad it's good.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Awww... that's sweet of you! =D

[smurasaki.livejournal.com]

I can believe that Elva would experiment with whether or not she could change the future from what she predicts, but not that she would tell people she did so. But there's another problem with her course of action - she's supposedly driven to prevent people from being hurt. She should have told Nasuada that the contest was a bad idea and she would lose before the contest was brought up. It was unnecessary and stupid and involved people being hurt.

But Paolini fails at logic. Among other things.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

She told Nasuada that she would win the contest. But yes, it was unnecessary and stupid. And apparently Elva is a masochist because she was right behind Nasuada when it happened.

[jacedraccus.livejournal.com]

The half elf/isn't he thing sounds more like Paolini was trying to be clever and write snarky dialog, less so that he was suggesting that Snake-boy is part elf... although it could also be foreshadowing for the Eragon/Arya shipping.

As for Katrina's charms... I get the feeling Paolini is talking purely physical, here. Nothing to do with how charming she is.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Oh I know it was a snark thing. It's sad that it was a snark thing.

I fail to see how a starved and filthy woman should have any physical charms.

Yes, I know, I'm being delusional.

[jacedraccus.livejournal.com]

Yes. It might be interesting if he'd thought it out more. Like everything in the books.

And yeah, well, he obviously didn't think the starved and filthy thing through either... although I can't help but think that when he says 'charms' he means 'boobs'.

[easol.livejournal.com]

That's usually what I think of when someone talks about a woman's charms. Sort of an old-fashioned way to say "boobs" or "sexual attentions."

[torylltales.livejournal.com]

Of course! You can't expect a teenage boy to be interested in a woman for her personality!

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

He seems to have a short stop. He gets the idea but never follows through. Which is why his writing never makes it past cliche.

I think he might have forgotten about it. We'll see. I thought assets would be in reference to her boobs.

[arial-vs-lotus.livejournal.com]

Gah, this book is a mess! This is dreck! This is drivel! You need a serious dose of chocolate and happy pills before you attempt any further sporkage!
seriously what's with all that jazz about good leaders putting themselves in harm's way for the sake of their people? Yeah that's real bright, putting the Leader in mortal danger to test her honour...psh, no politician alive (or dead) with any common sense would agree, good leaders are not supposed to endanger themselves for honour, good leaders are supposed to, well, Lead. Make taxes, write laws, initiate building projects, sign treaties. Do all that stuff.
and what the hell is wrong with Paolini; Katrina has just escaped captivity and Nasuada, the Good Leader, is CHECKING HER OUT. not calling for medics to make sure she's ok, not talking to Roran to find out what happened, Nasuada is standing there going "Gee, what a lovely and babelicious shade of subjugation and torture that is on her, where can I get me some?" It's inappropriate and ludicrous. And if Nasuada is supposed to come off as straight, she pays an awful lot of homoerotic attention to the women around her, judging by Elva and Arya's descriptions (we're not touching Katrina, but the subtext is damn unpleasant). I can't believe this woman, who really stands around admiring the slinky grace of Arya's elbows when the Big Guns are returning? Ick! (I'm shipping Nasuada, Arya and Katrina in a hot multi-racial Sapphic orgy, mostly because it'll infuriate PaoPao)

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Good leaders are supposed to do what they need to do to make sure their people survive. Sometimes honor isn't apart of that at all. Probably why there's no honest politicians.

Nasuada, despite appearances, isn't checking Arya out. Instead Paolini has forgotten that people have different views of what a person would look like to them and instead is using his gushing praise his perfect woman at every opportunity. And other women as well.

[arial-vs-lotus.livejournal.com]

Fie unto Paolini I say, I'd much rather ship Nasuada/Arya/Katrina then anyone else. And maybe Galby/Durza to even the GLBT vibes. It's still awful that he thinks he can gush about Arya's toenail clippings as if they were flecks of gold, even in POV's that have no reason to think such obviously sexualising thoughts about her. And that goes double, in spades, for Katrina. Why on earth would anyone, straight gay or bi, look at a recent hostage and evaluate their latent attractiveness? That's f-ing batshit. This isn't the first time either that one of PaoPao's characters waxed horny about someone they shouldn't. Hairless Groin much?

[attack-bunny.livejournal.com]

Nasuada/Arya/Katrina and Galby/Durza/Murtagh. OT3s!

Though admittedly that last one would be difficult to arrange, chronologically speaking.

>Why on earth would anyone, straight gay or bi, look at a recent hostage and evaluate their latent attractiveness? That's f-ing batshit.
Eragon did it in the first one, remember.

[arial-vs-lotus.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah. That scene was soooo creepy, and I only read the sporked version. If I didn't feel like slinging mud, I'd say PaoPao was a might sadistic (in the sexual sense, look at the amount of inappropriate sensuality he lavishes on suffering, pain or damage. Beyond hurt-comfort even)
yeah, the world of Alagaesia (how do I spell this wretched land?) needs more threesomes. I will Die For My Ships. we could launch a little fleet of threesomes. For the hell of it let's throw Jeod/Sloan/Orrin into the fray. Saphira/Thorn/Glaedr? hee-hee, the Ship that launched a thousand feces...heehee

[jacedraccus.livejournal.com]

I dunno about sadistic. I think he's just really, really sheltered and doesn't understand how other people think. He's aiming to reproduce the effects his favourite writers put in their stories, but without understanding people (especially his readers and his characters), he is, to borrow an analogy I read once, trying to copy wine based on the bouquet.

[arial-vs-lotus.livejournal.com]

i'd certainly hope Paolini is just extremely naive and sheltered. unfortunately if he was when he started writing Eragon he's waaaay past the point of reckoning now. Closing on 25 I believe and he's unaware that when you linger over someone's creamy skin and perfect ankles *after they've been tortured* you're at best channeling sadistic villains and at worst...channeling sadistic villains. you don't have to be a witness to trauma to know that humans don't look good when they're in agony. being this totally unaware at Paolini's current age speaks more to some unpleasant truths than it does to naivete. would he use the same over-wrought similes describing a deadly car crash? ("A mare's tail of blood swathed the air as the many sparkling diamonds of shattered glass tinkled on the slick wet pavement when the speeding Honda thrust through the guard-rail into on-coming traffic. Her broken body slumped gracefully over the steering wheel, a trickle of rich crimson touching her peach blossom cheeks, her fathomless eyes void of her driving life force.") damn, now i'm getting into it. it's kind of fun in a morbid way.

[torylltales.livejournal.com]

You forgot the throbbing tyres. :P

But that was a disturbingly good effort.

[easol.livejournal.com]

"Why on earth would anyone, straight gay or bi, look at a recent hostage and evaluate their latent attractiveness?"

Because all the women in the Paoliniverse are measured by their attractiveness at all times and under all conditions. It's why even when they get "tortured" they don't lose any sex appeal.

[araine.livejournal.com]

So was there any reason for the Emo Chicken at all?
Any?
Because I would have cut it and started the chapter here. Or started the chapter with Katrina and Roran and the beginnings of some hurt/comfort.

Or he could have said, she carried herself like a professional warrior long adjective and metaphor description to follow here.

It is sad that you can find ways to write better in Paolini's style than he can. Really.

And the whole Arya finding Eragon thing? Looks like it's gearing up for a romance. Fun.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Paolini introduced a nifty new culture. =D

His style is remarkably easy to imitate.

Arya is the Designated Love Interest. She's been DLI since the start of the series. Even though nothing has happened yet.

[jacedraccus.livejournal.com]

You know, it's amazing that he's actually let the supposed romance stall this long....

[attack-bunny.livejournal.com]

Arya can't accept Eragon's puppy love until just before the dramatic climax. It wouldn't be dramatic enough otherwise.

[torylltales.livejournal.com]

When it comes down to it, actually, the blacks are more fitting in Paolini's world. He's got a bunch of white-skinned people living in a desert? RIGHT. Sunburn for everyone! At least the "pseudoAfrican nomads" make sense in the setting. Because that's what desert cultures ARE. Nomads.

Anyway, I, too am suprised that Arya and Eragon haven't made the moves yet. It's either Paolini trying to keep it PG (HA!) or wanting to wangst about his own nonexistant love-life through his Insert.

[jacedraccus.livejournal.com]

Or it's an idealisation of perfect love.

[(Anonymous)]

Or someone could um... use a spell and locate him. Or Saphria could use her bond to find him.

Or, being that Saphiria is a GODDAMN FLYING DRAGON, she could FLY and search fro him from the air. This book is so dumb. What an excuse to just get Arya and Eragon together. Anyone else think Eragon looks a lot like eDragon? Like a computer product or something?

[jacedraccus.livejournal.com]

'Eragon' is 'Dragon' with one letter changed. Paolini's admitted that's how he came up with the name, I think.

[easol.livejournal.com]

... presumably because it sounds cooler than "That's how they pronounced 'Aragorn' in the LOTR movies."

[jacedraccus.livejournal.com]

Possible. Neither one is an especially appealing explanation.

[torylltales.livejournal.com]

Yeah, then he retcons it in a later interview, without officially retracting the first statement, to a shortening of 'era gone'.

Consistent, he is not. Except at consistently screwing up.

[jacedraccus.livejournal.com]

'Era gone'?

God, that's even worse. And it's typical of another consistency he has going: he has to try and make himself sound smart and philosophical.

And usually fails miserably. He creates a veneer, but it's shallow and ultimately meaningless.

[attack-bunny.livejournal.com]

>Nasuada is jealous and thinks about how she'd maybe like to end up with Orrin -in an arranged marriage thing, but doesn't have time for such things as marriage and romance, busy as she is.

Keep telling yourself that, Nasuada. [/M+Nshipper]

>the poet Earnë
That sounds so much like Quenya.

>Nasuada noticed that the king had eyes only for Katrina, as did every man present, including the dwarves, and Nasuada was certain they would be recounting tales of Katrina’s charms to their comrades-in-arms before the night was out.
You remember how Eragon got a boner way back in Book One when he was looking at Arya's torture injuries? I'm thinking every man in these books has a sadism fetish.

[dryaunda.livejournal.com]

Elva appears with one of Paolini's over stretched similies. "Then, from behind her, there came a slight rustling, like that of a mouse nosing about for food." It's not just a mouse but it has to be a particular mouse doing a particular thing, because they make particular noises doing particular things.

This one doesn't look intuitively bad. I thought similes were supposed to be atmospheric.

[dove-cg.livejournal.com]

I think she was just saying he could have left it at "mouse" and everyone would have understood perfectly.

"a slight rustling, like that of a mouse"

I've heard mice rustling before. Admittedly there was a lot of rustling objects to be rustled (paper and such) but I imagine even in grass they rustle a little. The point is, mice are lightweight so if they make any noise, it would certainly be quiet and that was all he really needed. XD

Yes, it's a very nitty nitpick but I felt like being uber nitty nitpicky by explaining my POV on her POV. XD

[shmeiliarockie.livejournal.com]

That description of the sunset made me want to vomit. Purple overdose! Purge! Purge!

Also, when Nasuada was describing Katrina I wanted to add "also, she was very obviously pregnant" to the end of the paragraph. Because seriously, that should probably be the first thing people notice! I can forgive the manly man Roran for not noticing in the heat of the moment (even though he should know her better than anyone else). Nausada is not only an objective third party, but also a woman. She should recogize the signs.

I'm not sure why this bothers me so much when there are so many worse things I could be picking on. I know it's probably so Paolini can pull off a big reveal, but it's just not working for me.

[dove-cg.livejournal.com]

... Here is what would've fixed that paragraph.

Dusk spread its gold and purple wings over the Varden’s encampment, lending a sense of mystery to the rows of canvas tents that extended beyond the limits of Nasuada’s sight. But Nasuada had eyes only for the north and the glittering shape of Saphira descending, like a cluster of stars falling from the heavens.

Of course, that makes me think more of the silver dragon cave dragons but... so much better! It's still descriptive and excessively beautiful without being a big slab of pain to read because of all the ABSOLUTELY USELESS DETAILS WHERE SHE WASN'T LOOKING IN THE FIRST PLACE. I mean, it's still a bit awkward but I think it works. (And I confess, I liked the first sentence. It was the only part I liked.

... I wish Katrina had noticed all them staring and then just yelled "Is ANYONE gonna bring me some food? I'm eating for TWO and I'm only skinny because the baby consumed all the water weight! I want strawberries and pickles!"

[berseker.livejournal.com]

I still say Katrina is a spy. That´s why she doesn´t act traumatized. She isn´t.

Also: Of course that guy also thought that writing a short story five times and not including a specific vowel was high art.

Uh? This made me curious. What was the vowel?

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

The first time was "a" second time was "e" etc.

[berseker.livejournal.com]

I wish I could say something clever, but the only thing I can think is LOL.