Stare *_*

[kippurbird]

Pain Bad.

Pain better when shared.

I'm in pain.

I share with you.

Bloody stupid Ears.



Chapter Twenty: Impatience


Now I have sort of mixed feelings of what Meyers did here. By taking Bella away from the action of James, we loose some of the tension and fear, the only thing Bella is worried about here, now is Edward's safety, as opposed to her own. Meyers does try to fix that with putting Bella's mother in danger, but still is almost secondary. Bella is going to be sitting around, being passive.

So, Bella wakes up in a hotel room after having been driven all night from Forks to Phoenix Arizona. At twice the legal speed. I'm surprised they weren't pulled over. Or the car didn't die on them. After all, cars aren't made to go that fast for so long. I wonder if they stopped for gas? They'd have too. Bella finds Alice's neck, despite being granite, comfortable. Maybe she has some kind of stone fetish?

The chapter is mostly Bella angsting. She basically goes around in a sort of daze of timeless boredom and why hasn't Edward called yet? It's all wait, wait wait. Jasper and Alice sit still and there is waiting. And more waiting.

We stay in the room. Alice called down to the front desk and asked them to ignore our maid service for now. The windows stayed shut, the TV on, though no one watched it. At regular intervals, food was delivered for me. The silver phone resting on Alice's bag seemed to grow bigger as the hours passed.

My babysitters handled the suspense better than I did. As I fidgeted and pace, they simply grew more still, two statues whose eyes followed me imperceptibly as I moved. I occupied myself with memorizing the room; the striped pattern of the couches, tan, peach, cream, dull gold, and tan again. Sometimes I stared at the abstract prints, randomly finding pictures in the shapes, like I'd found pictures in the clouds as a child. I traced a blue hand, a woman combing her hair, a cat stretching. But when the pale red circle became a staring eye, I looked away.

And on. And On. It goes. For eight pages.

We change topics when we learn how vampires are made.

Ahahahaaaa.... Stone Statues are supposed to be physically attractive to their prey. Truly an Adonis here.

I wonder what happens when you change a fat or/and ugly person? Or even the idea of beauty being in the eye of the beholder? What if you don't find whatever the Cullens look like as attractive? Or old even.

Meyers Vampires are venomous.

No. Really.

They are.

"The venom doesn't kill - it's merely incapacitating. It works slowly, spreading through the bloodstream, so that, once bitten, our prey is in too much physical pain to escape us. Mostly superfluous, as I said. If we're that close, the prey doesn't escape. Of course, there are always exceptions. Carlisle, for example."

She's making it sound like the venom is like a vampire's appendix. Oh, we don't need it to kill people, it's just there. And, personally, I don't think a venom that causes pain would be a good way to incapacitate a victim. Paralyzing venom would work better. I think that's how most of them work in the natural world.

And then Alice has a vision.

James will be in a room with mirrors. At first they think it's a ballet studio. There's a VCR and a TV. The presence of the VCR indicates, that yes, we're in the late 1990s. Which is confusing with the smaller phones. And I'm surprised they got reception out in the middle of Forks. At that time... I'm sorry, I think I'm paying too much attention to research details. Sorry.

Bella is wondering if they should call, but THEN with timing of Isn't That A Convenient Coincidence, the phone rings. These are supposed to be set up as ominous foreboding in books like these. In comedic situations, they'll precipitate a humorous something happening. But here there should be a sense of dread, instead it just feels... convenient.

James, sorry, the tracker is heading towards Bella.

Still Bella gets to talk to Edward and she goes all floaty. I felt the hovering cloud of despair lighten and drift back as he spoke. It's almost like a euphoric addiction, her reactions to him. She's gotten her Edward hit. In fact as soon as Edward hangs up, she gets all depressed again. Sounds like a drug to me.

James will be in a room with mirrors. At first they think it's a ballet studio. There's a VCR and a TV. The presence of the VCR indicates, that yes, we're in the late 1990s. Which is confusing with the smaller phones. And I'm surprised they got reception out in the middle of Forks. At that time... I'm sorry, I think I'm paying too much attention to research details. Sorry. Still, James is playing around with a VCR and Alice is drawing it for them so that they know what the room looks like.

Bella thinks that it might be the ballet studio that she went to which is right near her house. A bit too close for comfort so she borrows Alice's phone, after making sure it was safe to use, and tells her not to go anywhere until she talks to Bella.

Then Bella goes back to staring at the walls.

Comments

[dove-cg.livejournal.com]

Boring chapters are boring. XD

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Yes.

[smurasaki.livejournal.com]

Wow, way to completely kill any tension the story might have had. Though a competent writer could probably stick their character in a hotel room while the action was happening elsewhere and keep the tension. Meyers, however...

The VCR/tiny cell phone thing is probably more likely research fail than a failed attempt at establishing a time period. Meyers botches so much that I keep wondering if she's actually from some alternate universe.

[smurasaki.livejournal.com]

(crap, hit post too soon)

I hope your ears get better soon. Pain bad, indeed.

[jacedraccus.livejournal.com]

Meyer is a Mormon, right? Do they have some kind of prohibition on technologies? Nothing so severe as the Amish, I'm sure...

It's just I remember, I once worked with a guy who was Mormon. We were working in a second-hand store, and one day a couple of Mormon Elders brought some stuff in to sell. I don't remember what, but my coworker told me they weren't supposed to have those things...

But if there is some kind of ban on stuff they can use or have, that might explain Meyer's fail? She gets it wrong because she's unfamiliar with it all?

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Meyer is a Mormon, right? Do they have some kind of prohibition on technologies?

Nope, nothing of that sort. That I know of.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

What would be needed, I think, is constant contact between Edward and Alice. And then they suddenly stop getting the phone calls. That would build tension.

It bothers me a lot. It's such an well, modern thing, that you would think it's not such an easy botch. But I guess it's not something you think about.

[smurasaki.livejournal.com]

I don't know. I really have trouble with authors suffering from research fail. It makes me feel like the author didn't have enough respect for their audience to bother with research.

And I also don't know of any Mormon technology prohibition. Certainly the awful Mormon family that lived across the street from me when I was growing up had no problem plonking their kids in front of the TV instead of parenting them.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Exactly. I try to make sure all my lines are in continuity when writing, even if it means I have to go back and rewrite and entire book. XD

[anarchicq.livejournal.com]

Which is weird because she's in her Mid-to-late 30s, so she was around when Cellphones started, VCRs died and walkmen became diskmen became MP3 players. Hell, she's about 10 years older than I am and I was around when all that happened. It's not like she needs she's talking about the combustion engine or something.

To not be able to follow this sort of shit whic happened in her own lifetime is pathetic.

[authoressarktos.livejournal.com]

Maybe she has some kind of stone fetish?

Smeyer certainly does, that's for sure.

wonder what happens when you change a fat or/and ugly person? Or even the idea of beauty being in the eye of the beholder? What if you don't find whatever the Cullens look like as attractive? Or old even.

My theory: Bella's world is an alternate dimension from ours, explaining the plotholes (physics and logic function differently). No fat, ugly or old people exist outside of nightmares and the occasional girl who hits on Edward.

[amamelina.livejournal.com]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Fat used to be beautiful. A lot of things we consider ugly used to be pretty. I would love to read a vampire story where the vampire still goes off of his century's ideal of beauty and turns down the Model-perfect heroine for her plump and (by our modern standards) ugly best friend.

Oh, crap, just had plot bunnies.

[authoressarktos.livejournal.com]

DO IT DO IT =D

[amamelina.livejournal.com]

Sadly, it'll have to be after Nov. I already have a spoof for the NanoWrimo. I'm doing a novel about a girl so obsessed with a Twilight-like series, that she doesn't know what reality is anymore.

My only problem is, I don't think I can force myself to write at the same low caliber as SMeyer.

[authoressarktos.livejournal.com]

That sounds like a great idea for a story! =D By any chance are you going to post it up? I'd like to read it.

That said...just ham it up and have fun with it. Although I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that. XD

[amamelina.livejournal.com]

I'm going to post it not only on my livejournal account, but on one of my Gaia accounts (fireweed_honey).

[authoressarktos.livejournal.com]

Awesome~!

[authoressarktos.livejournal.com]

Mind if I friend you then? That sounds really interesting.

[amamelina.livejournal.com]

Sure! I love friends.

[authoressarktos.livejournal.com]

Awesome, you're friended then. ^^

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Yes. She does. It frightens me.

My theory: Bella's world is an alternate dimension from ours, explaining the plotholes (physics and logic function differently). No fat, ugly or old people exist outside of nightmares and the occasional girl who hits on Edward.

Ha!

[shmeiliarockie.livejournal.com]

I've been thinking about the cell phone thing, and I came up with this: Technology has been getting smaller slowly but surely. I remember a time when they used to be the size of walkie talkies. So when you're used to phones that could be confused with bricks, something we consider to be normal today would be sleek in comparison. Does that make sense? I think what I'm trying to say is that you're looking at it through a late 2000's filter not a nineties one.

Anyway, have you been on Gaia lately? It's full of stupid right now. Nobody can tell me why Ed and Bella love each other.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

This is true. I wish it was easier to date it. The thing is that the phones feel like they're being described as modern ones.

I have been on Gaia, I am trying to create a thoughtful response.

[shmeiliarockie.livejournal.com]

Good luck with that. I think I've about had it with that thread. As soon as one rabid goes away, two more takes her place. And they just repeat the same thoughtless arguments over and over. UGH.

[smurasaki.livejournal.com]

Curiosity got the better of me. According to the (apparently Meyer approved) timeline at the Twilight Lexicon, Twilight takes place in 2005.

Research...fail.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Very much research fail.

[sarah-k-o-m.livejournal.com]

Well, if it's anything, the VCR means nothing. My school (in Ireland, granted, but we get a lot of funding) has a mix of old overhead projectors, built in projectors that connect to laptops and DVD players and plain old-fashioned DVD or VCR's which are sometimes comboed into the telly.

So it's not too unreasonable that a local ballet class wouldn't have a DVD player or anything, since extra-curricular activities and stuff don't really get much funding.

Just my two cents.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

I agree on the VCR. But there are other things that don't add up.

[dryaunda.livejournal.com]

Our "heroine"...sits there...staring at the walls...

At least Evangelion had giant robot fights.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Yup.

[mistyeyedreamer.livejournal.com]

About the whole idea of it being late '90s, I remembered something today that makes that sorta not work out. I was zoning out in my history class today when we were talking about how some companies have complete monopolies on certain products. Somebody brought up the iPhone, and I remembered how there have been ads for touch screen computers recently (random, but oh well). A couple of months ago I read the posted half of Midnight Sun on Smeyer's site, after she decided not to finish the story anymore. At one point, Edward's home thinking about stuff, and notices Alice on the computer, which he said they specially modified it so that the touch sensitive screen would register to cold fingers instead of warm. This is supposed to be taking place during Twilight. I might be off right now, but I don't think touch screens were really that widespread until recently, even if the Cullens had a lot of money to spend. Maybe the ballet studio was just old and couldn't afford anything better than a VCR, but it's probably just Smeyer confusing things again...

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

According to the Official Lexicon the books take place in 2005. So, the iPhones, I believe, would have been out and everyone and their grandmother would have a cellphone.

[mistyeyedreamer.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the iPhones came out in 2007-8ish. It's just that if Twilight itself takes place in 2005, the fact that they had seemingly really advanced super modified touch screen computers kinda throws me off a bit, since those computers didn't really exist yet...