Continuing on.
Aug. 31st, 2008 05:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kippurbirdTwilight, Chapter ten Part two.
Bella is now in class with Mike, I forget which class, and I don't think it matters. Mike wants to know how her trip to Port Angeles was and she tells him that Jessica bought a nice dress. And that was the end of that. There was utterly no point to that half a page. She goes on to say that English and Government passes in a blur and then it was Trig.
Jessica starts her interrogation.
It's utterly thrilling. Very standard teenage girl questions, like what did you talk about, where did you go, do you think he likes you things like that. And THEN there's this:
First of all, look how shallow Jessica is made to seem. Looks take away all flaws. Mind you Bella has this same fault, but since she's the heroine it doesn't matter. See, she's able to see past Edward's beauty and see the inner him, even if he is a vampire. A vampire who wanted to be good. Just like Angel... well, no, Angel kinda had it forced on him but, whatever. Spike maybe?
And then for shits and giggles we get the "Do you like him?" conversation. The ones that go, "But do you like him, like him?" Which is something I don't think that late high school teenagers would do.
First, how can a blush blend into the next? Poetic sure, but they get redder not come in waves. Second, notice how she's putting herself down here. She's not worthy. She's not good enough. There's no way that he can like her as much as she likes him. She's not good enough. She's sitting there clobbing her heart like some Jewish Yenta trying to get her daughter to marry so that she could have grandchildren.
And that there is a weird image. I can see her doing some sort of Fiddler on the Roof thing now to Matchmaker. Or maybe Sunrise, Sunset. Not sure.
To distract shallow All I Care About is Boys Jessica, Bella tells her about Mike's curiosity towards their trip into Port Angeles and they start to dissect his and Bella's conversation in English. This actually would have been a good point for character development as we could see how the two of them interact and maybe have Jessica not be so shallow. Or even Bella happy for her friend instead of thinking that this is just some way to get her distracted from her own problems. After all, Jessica really likes Mike and now she has someone who knows inside dirt on him and Bella isn't sharing as a friend as opposed to more personal reasons.
When they get to lunch, Edward immediately goes and monopolizes Bella. Edward also has obviously been listening into their conversation, showing that he has no respect for either Bella or Jessica's privacy. This, of course, never even crosses Bella's mind. Instead her mind is focused on the fact that he's irritated. Because this is the most important part. God forbid she does something that makes Edward irritated.
Edward gets her lunch, it's pizza. He gets a lot of it and says that they're sharing. He's not letting her pick what she wants to eat, another piece of control that he's taking. Also he isolates her and doesn't sit with her friends. Of course, this could be because they want to talk in private, but from his other behavior it doesn't feel like that. He admits to continued mental eavesdropping when he mentions that Jessica is watching everything they do. This doesn't bother Bella in the least beyond the fact that it irritates Edward.
Bella does chide Edward for the eavesdropping but more like you would chide a child who was listening in by the doorway.
Finally we get to the root of the chapter. The does Edward like her?
Here it is, the declaration of love, or at least interest. Or lust. Something like that. Notice that Bella has no emotional reaction to this. Her heart doesn't go pitter-patter, she has no thoughts on this declaration, no "I couldn't believe it!" or anything like that. We can't get into how she's feeling because, "I tried to remember how to exhale" is hardly any information.
Instead of dwelling on this, this one thing that she had been obsessing over since she's seen Edward, she goes on about how he's dazzling her again. This was supposed to be the big moment. The moment of revelation where their relationship can now move forward because they realize well they both feel the same way about each other and instead she talks about how he dazzles her.
They go back to the fact that Bella doesn't think that Edward doesn't care as much about her than she does about him. She still doesn't believe it, even though he's practically admitted that he does. Even if he didn't say, "I care about you as much as you care about me." Knowing how thick Bella is he would probably have to say it like that for her to realize it. Then again, she doesn't seem to understand the concept that he's dangerous even though he keeps on saying it to her point blank.
When he asks her why she thinks that she says this:
Why hallo there Sue trait! The I'm beautiful but don't think I am and this is my flaw, trait. Because, it's trying to show, that she's modest. It doesn't though, because she's constantly describe as beautiful and the fact that apparently every human male (as opposed to non-human? I suppose the other vampires) was drooling over her like a dog with steak. Not only that but she's surprised at this, despite the fact that we SEE almost every guy she interacts with stumbling over their feet to talk with her and things like that. She's too modest though to notice this. And besides she's ugly, not being tan and blonde, but instead pale skinned despite living in sunny places like Phoenix. You would think then she would feel better becuase she would fit in better in a place that doesn't get much sun, but that would take away her angst of being ugly.
Edward says that the reason why he cares for her more is because he's willing to say good-bye to her.
Awww... isn't that sweet? He's willing to hurt himself. How about a guilt trip there? What is Bella willing to do to top that to prove that she loves Edward when he's willing to sacrifice his happiness and health if it means that she's safe. The thing is, this indicates that he thinks he might be abusive and dangerous to her. Which we know from his constant "I'm Dangerous". However Bella doesn't realize this and instead this sounds like he's making the big sacrifice and daring her to try and top this.
When Bella suggests that she would do the same Edward tells her that she would never have to make the choice. Again, as a constant, Edward is taking away her choices. Taking control over her life. Why shouldn't she have that choice? Why does Edward have to take it away from her. The fact that she doesn't protest this makes her passive and as if she doesn't care about her life. On what she wants to do. The only thing we have ever heard her have a strong opinion on in regards to her future is that she didn't want to move to Forks. I'm not sure if that counts though because it was for plot reasons.
Continuing our controlling theme, Edward says "Of course, keeping you safe is beginning to feel like a full-time occupation that requires my constant presence." He's indicating here the Bella isn't capable of taking care of herself or protecting herself. While it's nice to have someone who wants to take care of you, it something different when it's considered a full time job. That makes it feel like you're not human, but instead a baby or an animal that you have to make sure doesn't wander off into traffic, or even a disabled child. Here Edward is asserting himself as the dominant and master of the relationship.
It does feels like a slave/master relationship, now that I think about it. Edward dominates Bella who willingly submits to him. An interesting quirk to their relationship. It makes me wonder what Meyers is projecting here, if Bella is, indeed, her self insert. Bella actually helps with this desire to be dominated and controlled by agreeing with Edward when he says that she has yet gotten into a situation where people are trying to do away with her: "I would have argued, but now I wanted him to be expecting disasters." She's not being passive so much as telling him that she wants him to control her, to watch over her, to tell her what to do.
Switching subjects, Edward wants to know if she really was going to go down to Seattle on Saturday or was it just a ploy to get rid of the guys. Edward admits that he induced Tyler to ask Bella out so that he could watch Tyler's face. And then he laughs about it.
Edward is showing himself to be a manipulative bastard who is moving people around to his whims because he finds it amusing. Instead of being angry about it, not for Tyler's sake but because of the embarrassment that it caused her Bella finds her self to fascinated by his laugh. She admits that she couldn't get angry because of his laugh. Once again proving that she's letting him control her, that she's giving him control over her emotional state.
Instead she's thrilled that Edward is considering doing something different than going to Seattle. She doesn't care what it is, as long as it's "we".
Her again she starts to lie to her father saying that she wants to drive. She told her father that she was going to Seattle but not that she was going to Edward. She doesn't want to tell him she is going with Edward, even though her father sees Edward as a fine and upstanding citizen.
She ADMITS that she would lie to her father if he asked. And that's why she wants to take her car as opposed to what should be the real reason, that being Edward's driving scares her. The latter would be a good excuse the former just makes her even more unlikeable because she doesn't care enough about her father to let her know where she is going and with whom. But now she seems uncaring.
Edward tells her that she should tell her father, but not for the usual reasons, but instead so he'll have an incentive to bring her back.
Edward: Gee, I'm going maybe do horrible and evil things to you maybe even rape you but if you tell your daddy, I won't.
Bella: Okay! =D But I'm still not going to tell him.
This makes Edward angry, but he doesn't do anything about it, beyond changing the subject. It's kinda dumb what they talk about next. We learn that Edward likes to hunt mountain lion and he finds that he's like a mountain lion, while Emmet likes bear and he acts like a bear. When Bella wants to know how they hunt, he tells her that they have weapons and flashes his teeth.
Then they go off to class.
Bella is now in class with Mike, I forget which class, and I don't think it matters. Mike wants to know how her trip to Port Angeles was and she tells him that Jessica bought a nice dress. And that was the end of that. There was utterly no point to that half a page. She goes on to say that English and Government passes in a blur and then it was Trig.
Jessica starts her interrogation.
It's utterly thrilling. Very standard teenage girl questions, like what did you talk about, where did you go, do you think he likes you things like that. And THEN there's this:
"I do have some trouble with incoherency when I'm around him," I admitted.
"Oh well. He is unbelievably gorgeous." Jessica shrugged as if this
excused any flaws. Which, in her book, it probably did.
"There's a lot more to him than that."
"Really? Like what?"
I wished I had let it go. Almost as much as I was hoping he'd been
kidding about listening in.
"I can't explain it right… but he's even more unbelievable behind the
face." The vampire who wanted to be good — who ran around saving people's
lives so he wouldn't be a monster… I stared toward the front of the room.
"Is that possible?" She giggled.
First of all, look how shallow Jessica is made to seem. Looks take away all flaws. Mind you Bella has this same fault, but since she's the heroine it doesn't matter. See, she's able to see past Edward's beauty and see the inner him, even if he is a vampire. A vampire who wanted to be good. Just like Angel... well, no, Angel kinda had it forced on him but, whatever. Spike maybe?
And then for shits and giggles we get the "Do you like him?" conversation. The ones that go, "But do you like him, like him?" Which is something I don't think that late high school teenagers would do.
"So you like him, then?" She wasn't about to give up.
"Yes," I said curtly.
"I mean, do you really like him?" she urged.
"Yes," I said again, blushing. I hoped that detail wouldn't register in
her thoughts.
She'd had enough with the single syllable answers. "How much do you like
him?"
"Too much," I whispered back. "More than he likes me. But I don't see how
I can help that." I sighed, one blush blending into the next.
First, how can a blush blend into the next? Poetic sure, but they get redder not come in waves. Second, notice how she's putting herself down here. She's not worthy. She's not good enough. There's no way that he can like her as much as she likes him. She's not good enough. She's sitting there clobbing her heart like some Jewish Yenta trying to get her daughter to marry so that she could have grandchildren.
And that there is a weird image. I can see her doing some sort of Fiddler on the Roof thing now to Matchmaker. Or maybe Sunrise, Sunset. Not sure.
To distract shallow All I Care About is Boys Jessica, Bella tells her about Mike's curiosity towards their trip into Port Angeles and they start to dissect his and Bella's conversation in English. This actually would have been a good point for character development as we could see how the two of them interact and maybe have Jessica not be so shallow. Or even Bella happy for her friend instead of thinking that this is just some way to get her distracted from her own problems. After all, Jessica really likes Mike and now she has someone who knows inside dirt on him and Bella isn't sharing as a friend as opposed to more personal reasons.
When they get to lunch, Edward immediately goes and monopolizes Bella. Edward also has obviously been listening into their conversation, showing that he has no respect for either Bella or Jessica's privacy. This, of course, never even crosses Bella's mind. Instead her mind is focused on the fact that he's irritated. Because this is the most important part. God forbid she does something that makes Edward irritated.
Edward gets her lunch, it's pizza. He gets a lot of it and says that they're sharing. He's not letting her pick what she wants to eat, another piece of control that he's taking. Also he isolates her and doesn't sit with her friends. Of course, this could be because they want to talk in private, but from his other behavior it doesn't feel like that. He admits to continued mental eavesdropping when he mentions that Jessica is watching everything they do. This doesn't bother Bella in the least beyond the fact that it irritates Edward.
Bella does chide Edward for the eavesdropping but more like you would chide a child who was listening in by the doorway.
Finally we get to the root of the chapter. The does Edward like her?
"But that's not really the point at the moment."
"Then what is?" We were inclined toward each other across the table now.
He had his large white hands folded under his chin; I leaned forward, my
right hand cupped around my neck. I had to remind myself that we were in
a crowded lunchroom, with probably many curious eyes on us. It was too
easy to get wrapped up in our own private, tense little bubble.
"Do you truly believe that you care more for me than I do for you?" he
murmured, leaning closer to me as he spoke, his dark golden eyes piercing.
I tried to remember how to exhale. I had to look away before it came back
to me.
Here it is, the declaration of love, or at least interest. Or lust. Something like that. Notice that Bella has no emotional reaction to this. Her heart doesn't go pitter-patter, she has no thoughts on this declaration, no "I couldn't believe it!" or anything like that. We can't get into how she's feeling because, "I tried to remember how to exhale" is hardly any information.
Instead of dwelling on this, this one thing that she had been obsessing over since she's seen Edward, she goes on about how he's dazzling her again. This was supposed to be the big moment. The moment of revelation where their relationship can now move forward because they realize well they both feel the same way about each other and instead she talks about how he dazzles her.
They go back to the fact that Bella doesn't think that Edward doesn't care as much about her than she does about him. She still doesn't believe it, even though he's practically admitted that he does. Even if he didn't say, "I care about you as much as you care about me." Knowing how thick Bella is he would probably have to say it like that for her to realize it. Then again, she doesn't seem to understand the concept that he's dangerous even though he keeps on saying it to her point blank.
When he asks her why she thinks that she says this:
"Well, look at me," I said, unnecessarily as he was already staring. "I'm
absolutely ordinary — well, except for bad things like all the near-death
experiences and being so clumsy that I'm almost disabled. And look at
you." I waved my hand toward him and all his bewildering perfection.
His brow creased angrily for a moment, then smoothed as his eyes took on
a knowing look. "You don't see yourself very clearly, you know. I'll
admit you're dead-on about the bad things," he chuckled blackly, "but you
didn't hear what every human male in this school was thinking on your
first day."
I blinked, astonished. "I don't believe it…" I mumbled to myself.
"Trust me just this once — you are the opposite of ordinary."
Why hallo there Sue trait! The I'm beautiful but don't think I am and this is my flaw, trait. Because, it's trying to show, that she's modest. It doesn't though, because she's constantly describe as beautiful and the fact that apparently every human male (as opposed to non-human? I suppose the other vampires) was drooling over her like a dog with steak. Not only that but she's surprised at this, despite the fact that we SEE almost every guy she interacts with stumbling over their feet to talk with her and things like that. She's too modest though to notice this. And besides she's ugly, not being tan and blonde, but instead pale skinned despite living in sunny places like Phoenix. You would think then she would feel better becuase she would fit in better in a place that doesn't get much sun, but that would take away her angst of being ugly.
Edward says that the reason why he cares for her more is because he's willing to say good-bye to her.
"Don't you see? That's what proves me right. I care the most, because if
I can do it" — he shook his head, seeming to struggle with the thought —
"if leaving is the right thing to do, then I'll hurt myself to keep from
hurting you, to keep you safe."
Awww... isn't that sweet? He's willing to hurt himself. How about a guilt trip there? What is Bella willing to do to top that to prove that she loves Edward when he's willing to sacrifice his happiness and health if it means that she's safe. The thing is, this indicates that he thinks he might be abusive and dangerous to her. Which we know from his constant "I'm Dangerous". However Bella doesn't realize this and instead this sounds like he's making the big sacrifice and daring her to try and top this.
When Bella suggests that she would do the same Edward tells her that she would never have to make the choice. Again, as a constant, Edward is taking away her choices. Taking control over her life. Why shouldn't she have that choice? Why does Edward have to take it away from her. The fact that she doesn't protest this makes her passive and as if she doesn't care about her life. On what she wants to do. The only thing we have ever heard her have a strong opinion on in regards to her future is that she didn't want to move to Forks. I'm not sure if that counts though because it was for plot reasons.
Continuing our controlling theme, Edward says "Of course, keeping you safe is beginning to feel like a full-time occupation that requires my constant presence." He's indicating here the Bella isn't capable of taking care of herself or protecting herself. While it's nice to have someone who wants to take care of you, it something different when it's considered a full time job. That makes it feel like you're not human, but instead a baby or an animal that you have to make sure doesn't wander off into traffic, or even a disabled child. Here Edward is asserting himself as the dominant and master of the relationship.
It does feels like a slave/master relationship, now that I think about it. Edward dominates Bella who willingly submits to him. An interesting quirk to their relationship. It makes me wonder what Meyers is projecting here, if Bella is, indeed, her self insert. Bella actually helps with this desire to be dominated and controlled by agreeing with Edward when he says that she has yet gotten into a situation where people are trying to do away with her: "I would have argued, but now I wanted him to be expecting disasters." She's not being passive so much as telling him that she wants him to control her, to watch over her, to tell her what to do.
Switching subjects, Edward wants to know if she really was going to go down to Seattle on Saturday or was it just a ploy to get rid of the guys. Edward admits that he induced Tyler to ask Bella out so that he could watch Tyler's face. And then he laughs about it.
Edward is showing himself to be a manipulative bastard who is moving people around to his whims because he finds it amusing. Instead of being angry about it, not for Tyler's sake but because of the embarrassment that it caused her Bella finds her self to fascinated by his laugh. She admits that she couldn't get angry because of his laugh. Once again proving that she's letting him control her, that she's giving him control over her emotional state.
Instead she's thrilled that Edward is considering doing something different than going to Seattle. She doesn't care what it is, as long as it's "we".
Her again she starts to lie to her father saying that she wants to drive. She told her father that she was going to Seattle but not that she was going to Edward. She doesn't want to tell him she is going with Edward, even though her father sees Edward as a fine and upstanding citizen.
"Well, mostly because when I told Charlie I was going to Seattle, he
specifically asked if I was going alone and, at the time, I was. If he
asked again, I probably wouldn't lie, but I don't think he will ask
again, and leaving my truck at home would just bring up the subject
unnecessarily. And also, because your driving frightens me."
She ADMITS that she would lie to her father if he asked. And that's why she wants to take her car as opposed to what should be the real reason, that being Edward's driving scares her. The latter would be a good excuse the former just makes her even more unlikeable because she doesn't care enough about her father to let her know where she is going and with whom. But now she seems uncaring.
Edward tells her that she should tell her father, but not for the usual reasons, but instead so he'll have an incentive to bring her back.
Edward: Gee, I'm going maybe do horrible and evil things to you maybe even rape you but if you tell your daddy, I won't.
Bella: Okay! =D But I'm still not going to tell him.
This makes Edward angry, but he doesn't do anything about it, beyond changing the subject. It's kinda dumb what they talk about next. We learn that Edward likes to hunt mountain lion and he finds that he's like a mountain lion, while Emmet likes bear and he acts like a bear. When Bella wants to know how they hunt, he tells her that they have weapons and flashes his teeth.
Then they go off to class.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-09-01 04:13 pm (UTC)And it's shocking how quickly Bella submits her personality and esteem to Edward and his will. Once he enters the scene, she as an individual barely exists, because her thoughts are completely consumed with ZOMGPRETTYEDWARD! She might as well have "DOORMAT" stamped upon her forehead.
The weird thing is, if you've seen the leak of Midnight Sun, Edward is just as insecure and emo and stupid about "OH MY GOODNESS DOES SHE LIKE ME LIKE ME?!" as Bella. (and despite the book declaring him to have two medical degrees, it takes him a long ass time to figure out that Bella's increased pulse around him may be caused by arousal. Not to mention that he can hardly comprehend all the strange new feelings
in his pants. It's safe to say that Edward is not the brightest crayon in the box.) These two deserve each other, simply because no one else should have to suffer with these fools.But what bugs me the most about this part of the book is how quickly Bella thinks she needs to hide her relationship with Edward - not just the vampire-y bits, but that she's seeing him at all, because she thinks that he's going to get all DON'T YOU TOUCH MY PRECIOUS LITTLE GIRL on his ass. And Edward's response is just CREEPY. It's better than hers, but the motivation is just flat-out EVIL. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Meyer is writing in the wrong genre. She should be writing horror. She already has a handle on creepiness,and Breaking Dawn showed that she can do body horror on a scale rarely seen outside of the works of David Cronenberg. I wish she would embrace THAT instead of this awful excuse of a romance.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-02 06:12 am (UTC)I am intriged. Tell me more.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-02 12:54 pm (UTC)Ok, still with me? Good. Well, yet-to-be-vamped Bella magically gets knocked up with Edward's baby on their honeymoon (don't think about the science behind it, it'll hurt your head). The baby grows super fast - she starts to show, to get morning sickness, and feel it kicking(!) after rough a month. By the end of her pregnancy, the baby is kicking hard enough to BREAK HER RIBS, SPINE, AND PELVIS. It actually doesn't stop until Edward psychically tells the baby to.
Then, when she gives birth, she starts vomiting blood (which may be connected to the fact that she had to start drinking it because the baby was hungry. O_O). She becomes so weakened that she can't carry through the labor and this freaky dhampir baby has rendered her womb like the Cullens' skin: rock hard. So Edward has to BITE HIS WAY THROUGH HER BELLY in a sort of makeshift Caesarian. By this point, she's so near death that he finally vamps her.
SPOILERS END
It's such a 180 from her usual romantic crap that it horrified most of the F_W crowd. Still, it's like gazing into a crystal ball to see the Meyer That Could Have Been, the Meyer who could have given Stephen King a run for his money, because the idea of a truly parasitic pregnancy is as potent of an idea as it is gruesome. If only she had explored THAT instead of boring Bella and tedious Edward's twu luv.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-02 08:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-02 04:11 pm (UTC)And it's shocking how quickly Bella submits her personality and esteem to Edward and his will.
Wait until the next chapter.
(and despite the book declaring him to have two medical degrees, it takes him a long ass time to figure out that Bella's increased pulse around him may be caused by arousal. Not to mention that he can hardly comprehend all the strange new feelings in his pants. It's safe to say that Edward is not the brightest crayon in the box.)
Well, for that one I would say that your wisdom stat isn't always as high as your intelligence. /geek