She wasn't dumb at the beach.
Jul. 17th, 2008 12:14 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kippurbirdWoo! Almost done with my comic con stuff together! =D
I'm bringing:
*Comic Book proposal
*Novel Proposal
*Non-Fiction book proposal.
It shall be awesomesauce.
Chapter Six: Scary Stories
Bella is waiting for her truck to arrive. It's raining. She's reading Macbeth. And the truck mysteriously shows up. Then we completely forget about it mysteriously showing up and get back to Bella's problems.\~/
She's worried about what will happen when she shows up on Friday. Which really doesn't amount to anything in regards to the fainting spell. However Bella and Edward are a conversation topic. Everyone wants to know what they were doing yesterday at lunch. Bella admits to not knowing because Edward never got to his point. Personally, I think Edward's point was "You're stupid, stay away from me because I'm dangerous." But, as we all know, that didn't work. Instead she emos about not knowing when she'll see Edward again. "And I couldn't stop the gloom that engulfed me as I realized I didn't know how long I would have to wait before I saw him again." \~/\~/\~/Apparently going on a weekend camping trip is synonymous with going into the great Alaskan Wild with only a week's worth of supplies. And that next Monday doesn't exist.
Conversation turns to the beach trip, which Bella starts to have more hope for as the weather has turned to about sixty degrees. Still wouldn't go swimming, but that's just me. As lunch is over, Bella falls behind Lauren. Lauren is the previously mentioned girl who Bella set up with Tyler and doesn't talk much to Bella. She has just been nominated the "bitch queen". And not for very good reason.
Well first of all, our first clue to Lauren being the bitch queen is the silver blond hair. Bitch queens are always blond. This is a rule. They also must be unpleasant and have no particular reason to dislike the heroine. \~/ Especially Lauren's comment here. Going to talk to Edward once is apparently snubbing people that she sits with regularly and there for she must never hang out with them again. \~/
Now, I could understand that if Bella was putting on airs about how special she was having gotten to sit with Edward and wasn't that wonderful and this is what we talked about and he didn't want to talk to any of you, then I would understand that comment. But for what seems like a harmless one time conversation that Bella doesn't even bring up? If Meyer's wanted to make Lauren an antagonist to Bella she should have introduced this sooner in the story and built it ups so that we know why Lauren finds her getting to sit with Edward once causes this dislike. Perhaps she's been trying to get to talk or sit with Edward since he moved there and then all of a sudden this new girl who's barely been at the school for two months who gets to have a long conversation with him. THAT would be a reason to be so snippity against Bella. But as it is, Bella has shown no indication that there's something going on between her and Lauren except that the two of them don't talk much during lunch. \~/\~/
Dad is happy with her going on the trip with the others, thinking it's a great idea. A good thing, I think. Bella wonders if he'd feel the same about her going to Seattle with Edward. But she isn't going to tell him. \~/ It's a small town Bella, dear. Your father's going to know about you going to Seattle with Edward probably before you even leave. Don't be stupid. Oh wait... \~/\~/
Bella mentions the place where Edward says he's going camping and Charlie says that it's not a good place, being too many bears. Bears are kinda solitary animals and they generally avoid people. Least from what I remember. And if you're careful you can take precautions on how not to have theme trash your campsite. \~/
The next day Bella goes over to the general store and wishes Edward was coming and at the same time wishing he wouldn't. Mike still fawns over Bella irritating Jessica. Apparently asking someone to the dance is the same as dating. \~/. Of course anyone fawning over Bella like that would get irritating. It got irritating the first time it happened. They get to the beach without too much incident.
And fortunately, for all our sakes, they do not go swimming but instead build up a bonfire. A group of them go and look at the tide pools, including Bella, who apparently is so klutzy that she's afraid she can't walk down a path in the trees without falling. It's amazing how often this comes on and off. When it was wet and raining we never heard of her being afraid of slipping in the hallways of school from all the wet feet. It's more of a convenient OOOH I forgot, I'm klutzy flaw, if anything. \~/\~/
When they get back a new group of kids have shown up. They're from the reservation. One of the local kids, Jacob, knows Bella from when she used to come up there in the summers. Her father bought the truck from his father. It's actually a nice moment, the two of them reconnecting.
This is a nice bit of dialog. It shows Jacob's personality. What he likes to do. How they feel about something. Bella isn't acting like a selfish bitch but instead as a normal person. This is good showing of Meyer's ability to convey information in dialog. She's a competent writer. This conversation goes on well, the two of them talking for a long while before it takes a slight left turn into weird territory. \~/
Bitch Queen asks if Bella knows Jacob and mentions the fact that she and Tyler were wondering why the Cullens didn't come. One of the new boys says, ""The Cullens don't come here," he said in a tone that closed the subject, ignoring her question."
It turns out that the Cullens aren't allowed to come there. On the reservation. To get more information, instead of asking, Bella tries to seduce the information out of Jacob.
I don't know why talking is out of the question here.\~/ Just asking the questions. But instead she tries to flirt the story out of him. Never mind the fact that just a minute ago they were chatting easily like friends and he gave no indication that he wouldn't tell her. \~/ Instead we get a torturous description of Bella trying to flirt with Jacob. ""So you're, what, sixteen?" I asked, trying not to look like an idiot as I fluttered my eyelids the way I'd seen girls do on TV."
Jacob falls for the flirting and goes to tell her a scary story.
See the Quileutes, the Indian tribe that Jacob is from, is supposedly descended from wolves and has been around since Noah's ark. They're were-wolves, he basically says. Bella doesn't say anything about this being utterly nuts. The Cold-Ones are their term for vampires. And a clan of them came into the Quileutes' territory who were different than other cold ones. They didn't drink blood of humans. So they made a pact with Jacob's grandfather saying that we won't come into your territory and hunt and you'll leave us alone.
Bella is surprised to learn that the cold ones that Jacob spoke about are the same Cullens that she knows. And it is because of their presence that Jacob's tribe won't go to the hospital. Apparently the Cullens left Forks and came back. Now there are two new ones. A boy and a girl.
Bella doesn't question any of this. Never making a thought about how crazy Jacob sounds. Never any doubt about it. She just accepts the fact that she was told that vampires and were-wolves are true and Edward is one. And so is Jacob. Nope. All she does is try not to think.\~/\~/\~/
Why? What's bothering her? How does she feel about the things she's just been told? Why aren't we learning about these things instead of just jumping back to her house in Forks?
, 
I'm bringing:
*Comic Book proposal
*Novel Proposal
*Non-Fiction book proposal.
It shall be awesomesauce.
Chapter Six: Scary Stories
Bella is waiting for her truck to arrive. It's raining. She's reading Macbeth. And the truck mysteriously shows up. Then we completely forget about it mysteriously showing up and get back to Bella's problems.\~/
She's worried about what will happen when she shows up on Friday. Which really doesn't amount to anything in regards to the fainting spell. However Bella and Edward are a conversation topic. Everyone wants to know what they were doing yesterday at lunch. Bella admits to not knowing because Edward never got to his point. Personally, I think Edward's point was "You're stupid, stay away from me because I'm dangerous." But, as we all know, that didn't work. Instead she emos about not knowing when she'll see Edward again. "And I couldn't stop the gloom that engulfed me as I realized I didn't know how long I would have to wait before I saw him again." \~/\~/\~/Apparently going on a weekend camping trip is synonymous with going into the great Alaskan Wild with only a week's worth of supplies. And that next Monday doesn't exist.
Conversation turns to the beach trip, which Bella starts to have more hope for as the weather has turned to about sixty degrees. Still wouldn't go swimming, but that's just me. As lunch is over, Bella falls behind Lauren. Lauren is the previously mentioned girl who Bella set up with Tyler and doesn't talk much to Bella. She has just been nominated the "bitch queen". And not for very good reason.
I intercepted a few unfriendly glances from Lauren during lunch, which I
didn't understand until we were all walking out of the room together. I
was right behind her, just a foot from her slick, silver blond hair, and
she was evidently unaware of that.
"…don't know why Bella" — she sneered my name — "doesn't just sit with
the Cullens from now on."
I heard her muttering to Mike. I'd never noticed what an unpleasant,
nasal voice she had, and I was surprised by the malice in it. I really
didn't know her well at all, certainly not well enough for her to dislike
me — or so I'd thought. "She's my friend; she sits with us," Mike
whispered back loyally, but also a bit territorially. I paused to let
Jess and Angela pass me. I didn't want to hear any more.
Well first of all, our first clue to Lauren being the bitch queen is the silver blond hair. Bitch queens are always blond. This is a rule. They also must be unpleasant and have no particular reason to dislike the heroine. \~/ Especially Lauren's comment here. Going to talk to Edward once is apparently snubbing people that she sits with regularly and there for she must never hang out with them again. \~/
Now, I could understand that if Bella was putting on airs about how special she was having gotten to sit with Edward and wasn't that wonderful and this is what we talked about and he didn't want to talk to any of you, then I would understand that comment. But for what seems like a harmless one time conversation that Bella doesn't even bring up? If Meyer's wanted to make Lauren an antagonist to Bella she should have introduced this sooner in the story and built it ups so that we know why Lauren finds her getting to sit with Edward once causes this dislike. Perhaps she's been trying to get to talk or sit with Edward since he moved there and then all of a sudden this new girl who's barely been at the school for two months who gets to have a long conversation with him. THAT would be a reason to be so snippity against Bella. But as it is, Bella has shown no indication that there's something going on between her and Lauren except that the two of them don't talk much during lunch. \~/\~/
Dad is happy with her going on the trip with the others, thinking it's a great idea. A good thing, I think. Bella wonders if he'd feel the same about her going to Seattle with Edward. But she isn't going to tell him. \~/ It's a small town Bella, dear. Your father's going to know about you going to Seattle with Edward probably before you even leave. Don't be stupid. Oh wait... \~/\~/
Bella mentions the place where Edward says he's going camping and Charlie says that it's not a good place, being too many bears. Bears are kinda solitary animals and they generally avoid people. Least from what I remember. And if you're careful you can take precautions on how not to have theme trash your campsite. \~/
The next day Bella goes over to the general store and wishes Edward was coming and at the same time wishing he wouldn't. Mike still fawns over Bella irritating Jessica. Apparently asking someone to the dance is the same as dating. \~/. Of course anyone fawning over Bella like that would get irritating. It got irritating the first time it happened. They get to the beach without too much incident.
And fortunately, for all our sakes, they do not go swimming but instead build up a bonfire. A group of them go and look at the tide pools, including Bella, who apparently is so klutzy that she's afraid she can't walk down a path in the trees without falling. It's amazing how often this comes on and off. When it was wet and raining we never heard of her being afraid of slipping in the hallways of school from all the wet feet. It's more of a convenient OOOH I forgot, I'm klutzy flaw, if anything. \~/\~/
When they get back a new group of kids have shown up. They're from the reservation. One of the local kids, Jacob, knows Bella from when she used to come up there in the summers. Her father bought the truck from his father. It's actually a nice moment, the two of them reconnecting.
"So how do you like the truck?" he asked.
"I love it. It runs great."
"Yeah, but it's really slow," he laughed. "I was so relived when Charlie
bought it. My dad wouldn't let me work on building another car when we
had a perfectly good vehicle right there."
"It's not that slow," I objected.
"Have you tried to go over sixty?"
"No," I admitted.
"Good. Don't." He grinned.
I couldn't help grinning back. "It does great in a collision," I offered
in my truck's defense.
"I don't think a tank could take out that old monster," he agreed with
another laugh.
"So you build cars?" I asked, impressed.
"When I have free time, and parts. You wouldn't happen to know where I
could get my hands on a master cylinder for a 1986 Volkswagen Rabbit?" he
added jokingly. He had a pleasant, husky voice.
This is a nice bit of dialog. It shows Jacob's personality. What he likes to do. How they feel about something. Bella isn't acting like a selfish bitch but instead as a normal person. This is good showing of Meyer's ability to convey information in dialog. She's a competent writer. This conversation goes on well, the two of them talking for a long while before it takes a slight left turn into weird territory. \~/
Bitch Queen asks if Bella knows Jacob and mentions the fact that she and Tyler were wondering why the Cullens didn't come. One of the new boys says, ""The Cullens don't come here," he said in a tone that closed the subject, ignoring her question."
It turns out that the Cullens aren't allowed to come there. On the reservation. To get more information, instead of asking, Bella tries to seduce the information out of Jacob.
I was still turning over the brief comment on the Cullens, and I had a
sudden inspiration. It was a stupid plan, but I didn't have any better
ideas. I hoped that young Jacob was as yet inexperienced around girls, so
that he wouldn't see through my sure-to-be-pitiful attempts at flirting.
I don't know why talking is out of the question here.\~/ Just asking the questions. But instead she tries to flirt the story out of him. Never mind the fact that just a minute ago they were chatting easily like friends and he gave no indication that he wouldn't tell her. \~/ Instead we get a torturous description of Bella trying to flirt with Jacob. ""So you're, what, sixteen?" I asked, trying not to look like an idiot as I fluttered my eyelids the way I'd seen girls do on TV."
Jacob falls for the flirting and goes to tell her a scary story.
See the Quileutes, the Indian tribe that Jacob is from, is supposedly descended from wolves and has been around since Noah's ark. They're were-wolves, he basically says. Bella doesn't say anything about this being utterly nuts. The Cold-Ones are their term for vampires. And a clan of them came into the Quileutes' territory who were different than other cold ones. They didn't drink blood of humans. So they made a pact with Jacob's grandfather saying that we won't come into your territory and hunt and you'll leave us alone.
Bella is surprised to learn that the cold ones that Jacob spoke about are the same Cullens that she knows. And it is because of their presence that Jacob's tribe won't go to the hospital. Apparently the Cullens left Forks and came back. Now there are two new ones. A boy and a girl.
Bella doesn't question any of this. Never making a thought about how crazy Jacob sounds. Never any doubt about it. She just accepts the fact that she was told that vampires and were-wolves are true and Edward is one. And so is Jacob. Nope. All she does is try not to think.\~/\~/\~/
I crawled into the backseat by Angela and
Tyler, announcing that I'd already had my turn in the shotgun position.
Angela just stared out the window at the escalating storm, and Lauren
twisted around in the middle seat to occupy Tyler's attention, so I could
simply lay my head back on the seat and close my eyes and try very hard
not to think.
Why? What's bothering her? How does she feel about the things she's just been told? Why aren't we learning about these things instead of just jumping back to her house in Forks?
, 
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-07-17 09:41 am (UTC)And this is only the beginning of what I can only call Edwarditis. She acts as though not having Edward around is the equivalent of her entire world ending. And it only gets worse from here on in.
Bella trying to seduce Jacob was just plain cringe-worthy, and not in the "Oh, silly Bella, tee-hee~!" way. I felt so sorry for Jacob and just plain hated Bella. So she doesn't see a problem with manipulating someone's emotions like that just for information? Someone we've already established is a good kid? Nice, Bella, real nice.
no subject
Date: 2008-07-17 04:03 pm (UTC)There are names for that sort of thing. I don't remember what they are, but there are names.
Obsessed I think is one.
The Bella Jacob thing? Completely agree. What sort of friend is she to do something to him. It was, for lack of a better term, OOC for her as well.
no subject
Date: 2008-07-17 10:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-17 02:16 pm (UTC)So, you know her well enough to try and set her up with a date for the dance, but not well enough that you could imagine her disliking you? C'mon, get real, this is high school; people dislike others they haven't even met, strictly on the basis of what they wear or who they hang around with. Grow up, kid.
Bella wonders if he'd feel the same about her going to Seattle with Edward. But she isn't going to tell him.
Sounds like Bella knows exactly what her dad would think about her going to Seattle with him, and him alone.
And yes, the total acceptance of the existence of vampires and were-wolves is ridiculous. Even seeing one of those creatures in action wouldn't necessarily convince people; you'd be amazed at what can be rationalized away. Just hearing a story about them wouldn't do anything.
no subject
Date: 2008-07-17 04:07 pm (UTC)Alternate reality, remember?
Even seeing one of those creatures in action wouldn't necessarily convince people; you'd be amazed at what can be rationalized away. Just hearing a story about them wouldn't do anything.
Look at Buffy's Sunnydale, or London in Dr.Who. Though in Dr.Who, they got smart on Christmas and left town. Still people are exceptionally good at it. MIB did this too. Though they also flashy-thingied people too.
no subject
Date: 2008-07-22 03:18 am (UTC)Also the Native American Werewolf thing helps. I have some very specific kinks.
It's always frustrating when a writer who can do a good thing (say with dialogue or scene description) rarely ever does it.
no subject
Date: 2008-07-28 06:35 pm (UTC)"Oh, yeah, I'm a werewolf and the 'good' and 'noble' Cullens family are vampires. Really? Why are you laughing?"
no subject
Date: 2008-07-28 09:08 pm (UTC)So worded there. And for the snippet of half-decent dialogue with Jacob. I knew there was a reason I liked him; he shows the most personality.