Drinking game. Bad liver.
Jul. 14th, 2008 07:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kippurbirdI finally uploaded the DaVinci Code up onto my Sporkings Site. YAY ME. '
Drinking Game!
*Every time Edward sends a mixed message
*Every time Bella describes Edward,
*a drink for each adjective used
*Two drinks if it's really silly
*Bella is klutzy for no good reason
*Charlie shows no spine
*Bella's mom flails and/or gets panicky
*The truck's gas millage is mentioned.
*Someone does something that should make it obvious that they are some sort of supernatural creature?
*Somebody sparkles or "dazzles" someone?
*Anytime Edward does something stalkery.
*Anytime Bella realizes how wrong her behavior is but goes with it anyway?
*Anytime Bella's classmates fawn over her?
*Anytime Bella mentions what she had for breakfast/lunch/dinner/whatever
*Anytime Bella complains over things she shouldn't be complaining about
* Every time Bella mentions what class she went to
* Whenever Bella finds something extremely odd about Edward erotic?
** Doubles if it's something really weird, like the aforementioned stalking or his elbows or something.
* Every time Bella says she isn't worthy of Edward
* Every time Bella complains about the weather
* Every time Bella complains about Forks
*Bella thinks these people are totally below her
*the book contradicts itself
*something is introduced, and then not explained until much later, if at all
*Every time Bella is surprised by her own actions.
*Anytime there's proof that this is an alternate reality.
Chapter Five: Blood Type
Poor Bella, she's late for English class because of Edward's stunning and yet horribly confusing offer to take her to Seattle. She is surprised when Mike isn't sitting next to her and wonders what she could have done wrong. It's all banished though when both Mike and Eric \~/ show up to escort her to her next class, Mike chatting about the beach trip. It's going to be about forty degrees, cooler at the beach, in winter and that's where they're going. Beach trips are for the spring or summer. Not winter. Because there's nothing as exciting as sitting round on the beach in coats and jackets. But I apparently know nothing of these things. Or this is another sign of our alternate reality.\~/ In either case I imagine something will happen to Bella that will require rescuing. That's just how these things go.
And it's lunch time. Bella is nervous about Edward, wondering if it had all been some sort of wacky hallucination that Edward offered to take her to Seattle. Edward is there but not at his usual table. He's at an empty one and beckons her over to his table. To be exact he winks at her and calls her over with one finger. \~/ It kinda reminds me of someone soliciting sex. It's a sort of, "Hey baby" call you'd see in a bar.
Bella goes over to him. And Edward gives her another one of those bizzare conversations again.\~/
Did we just see this conversation all ready? And Bella really can't seem to take the hint that she should stay away from him. He keeps on saying Stay Away. Though, of course, he's not doing anything to help matters. It's like he wants Bella to fail her will save in avoiding him. And by telling her she should hang around him, he's absolving himself of all guilt when something bad happens. \~/
"I told her not to, but she didn't listen to me."
It kinda makes it sounds like she's stalking him. He tells her not to hang around him, but still Bella does. \~/
It's interesting too, that Edward doesn't want to join in with Bella's circle of friends and takes her out of it just to talk to her. It's rather dumb of her \~/ to go to him alone after he's told her several times that he's dangerous. It reminds me of what happened with my mom and the cat recently.
We had to take kitty to the vet and needed him out from under the bed. Anyone who has a cat probably knows how difficult it is to retrieve said cat from under the bed. Mom sticks her hand under the bed and kitty swats her, but not hard enough to actually do anything, just as a warning. He's good like that. She sticks her hand back under the bed and he bites her, hard. Infection hard.
Moral of the story? When cat gives you a warning, send someone else to stick your hand under there.
In any case, Bella should have either gestured for him to join them, or not gone at all. But that would have been intelligent. \~/
They amble around in conversation talking about what Bella thinks Edward is. (She thinks something around the likes of Peter Parker/Batman ) Edward continues to tell Bella that he's not a good guy to hang around, by even saying he could be the bad guy. \~/
Intuitively?! It's not intuitive if someone keeps on telling you the same thing and it takes you months to realize it! That's called being as dense as a George Lucas when he thought that Jar-Jar Binks was a good idea! And THEN she utterly denies it! It's like she can't process any information that doesn't fit with her world view. \~/\~/\~/\~/\~/
It's time for biology and Edward says that he's ditching class. Bella is surprised at this but goes off to class anyway.
They're doing a blood-typing lab. With the risk of AIDs and things like that I don't think it would be something that would be allowed in schools anymore. \~/ But this is just an excuse for Bella to get faint. Mike escorts her out to the nurse when they run into ... Edward! Edward demands to take Bella to the nurse and Mike is all 'nuh-uh'. It's like two dogs fighting over a piece of meat. Edward then SCOOPS Bella easily up and walks off with her to the nurse. Hi, let me reinforce the fact that I'm not normal even though I'm trying to hide in the middle of this town where everyone soon finds out about everything" \~/\~/\~/
It turns out that the sight of blood doesn't make Bella faint, is the smell of blood. I'm not really sure how that one works. Which should make it interesting if Edward ever bites her. She can faint into his arms from his snacking. \~/ Though the fact that she can smell the blood, makes me rather curious, as that's sort of a "Vampire" trait. I'm wondering if it's some sort of hint that she'll be a human vampire or something. She's already got the pale thing down, after all.
Edward drives her home because she's too sick to get to gym. She has a snit fit when he insists that he drive her. These sorts of things always annoy me. She knows she just had a fainting spell and that she's really in no condition to drive. Also, she would love it if Edward made mad passionate love to her but she can't get into the car? Even though she was all fluttery about driving to Seattle with him earlier. I would thinks she would jump at the excuse to ride in the car with him. Even after Edward promises to have one of his sisters drive her truck back for her. \~/ This is trying to add angst and drama. She's flipped her position on how she feels about Edward. Or at least, acts around him.
She asks him to the beach and he's all well Mike didn't invite me and doesn't want me to come. Bella says she's inviting him. He'll show up, I'm sure of it. Just in time to rescue Bella from something stupid.
There's some infodumping about Bella's background and how her mother is always acting very young and how the mother said that Bella was born thirty five and keeps on getting older. I find that one hard to believe from the way Bella acts. We're being told one thing, but shown another and really, it's the things we're shown that makes a difference. The Infodump is handled rather well, actually, in conversation without any "As you know Bobs".
Meyer's writing style is rather decent it's just her characterization and logic that I'm having issues with.
Edward leaves her off at home teasingly telling her not to fall into anything or get hurt and she takes offense at that stalking off into the house.
Drinking Game!
*Every time Edward sends a mixed message
*Every time Bella describes Edward,
*a drink for each adjective used
*Two drinks if it's really silly
*Bella is klutzy for no good reason
*Charlie shows no spine
*Bella's mom flails and/or gets panicky
*The truck's gas millage is mentioned.
*Someone does something that should make it obvious that they are some sort of supernatural creature?
*Somebody sparkles or "dazzles" someone?
*Anytime Edward does something stalkery.
*Anytime Bella realizes how wrong her behavior is but goes with it anyway?
*Anytime Bella's classmates fawn over her?
*Anytime Bella mentions what she had for breakfast/lunch/dinner/whatever
*Anytime Bella complains over things she shouldn't be complaining about
* Every time Bella mentions what class she went to
* Whenever Bella finds something extremely odd about Edward erotic?
** Doubles if it's something really weird, like the aforementioned stalking or his elbows or something.
* Every time Bella says she isn't worthy of Edward
* Every time Bella complains about the weather
* Every time Bella complains about Forks
*Bella thinks these people are totally below her
*the book contradicts itself
*something is introduced, and then not explained until much later, if at all
*Every time Bella is surprised by her own actions.
*Anytime there's proof that this is an alternate reality.
Chapter Five: Blood Type
Poor Bella, she's late for English class because of Edward's stunning and yet horribly confusing offer to take her to Seattle. She is surprised when Mike isn't sitting next to her and wonders what she could have done wrong. It's all banished though when both Mike and Eric \~/ show up to escort her to her next class, Mike chatting about the beach trip. It's going to be about forty degrees, cooler at the beach, in winter and that's where they're going. Beach trips are for the spring or summer. Not winter. Because there's nothing as exciting as sitting round on the beach in coats and jackets. But I apparently know nothing of these things. Or this is another sign of our alternate reality.\~/ In either case I imagine something will happen to Bella that will require rescuing. That's just how these things go.
And it's lunch time. Bella is nervous about Edward, wondering if it had all been some sort of wacky hallucination that Edward offered to take her to Seattle. Edward is there but not at his usual table. He's at an empty one and beckons her over to his table. To be exact he winks at her and calls her over with one finger. \~/ It kinda reminds me of someone soliciting sex. It's a sort of, "Hey baby" call you'd see in a bar.
Bella goes over to him. And Edward gives her another one of those bizzare conversations again.\~/
He laughed. "You look worried."
"No," I said, but, ridiculously, my voice broke. "Surprised, actually…
what brought all this on?"
"I told you — I got tired of trying to stay away from you. So I'm giving
up." He was still smiling, but his ocher eyes were serious.
"Giving up?" I repeated in confusion.
"Yes — giving up trying to be good. I'm just going to do what I want now,
and let the chips fall where they may." His smile faded as he explained,
and a hard edge crept into his voice.
"You lost me again."
The breathtaking crooked smile reappeared. "I always say too much when I'm talking to you — that's one of the problems."
"Don't worry — I don't understand any of it," I said wryly.
"I'm counting on that."
"So, in plain English, are we friends now?"
"Friends…" he mused, dubious.
"Or not," I muttered.
He grinned. "Well, we can try, I suppose. But I'm warning you now that I'm not a good friend for you." Behind his smile, the warning was real.
"You say that a lot," I noted, trying to ignore the sudden trembling in my stomach and keep my voice even.
"Yes, because you're not listening to me. I'm still waiting for you to believe it. If you're smart, you'll avoid me."
Did we just see this conversation all ready? And Bella really can't seem to take the hint that she should stay away from him. He keeps on saying Stay Away. Though, of course, he's not doing anything to help matters. It's like he wants Bella to fail her will save in avoiding him. And by telling her she should hang around him, he's absolving himself of all guilt when something bad happens. \~/
"I told her not to, but she didn't listen to me."
It kinda makes it sounds like she's stalking him. He tells her not to hang around him, but still Bella does. \~/
It's interesting too, that Edward doesn't want to join in with Bella's circle of friends and takes her out of it just to talk to her. It's rather dumb of her \~/ to go to him alone after he's told her several times that he's dangerous. It reminds me of what happened with my mom and the cat recently.
We had to take kitty to the vet and needed him out from under the bed. Anyone who has a cat probably knows how difficult it is to retrieve said cat from under the bed. Mom sticks her hand under the bed and kitty swats her, but not hard enough to actually do anything, just as a warning. He's good like that. She sticks her hand back under the bed and he bites her, hard. Infection hard.
Moral of the story? When cat gives you a warning, send someone else to stick your hand under there.
In any case, Bella should have either gestured for him to join them, or not gone at all. But that would have been intelligent. \~/
They amble around in conversation talking about what Bella thinks Edward is. (She thinks something around the likes of Peter Parker/Batman ) Edward continues to tell Bella that he's not a good guy to hang around, by even saying he could be the bad guy. \~/
"You're dangerous?" I guessed, my pulse quickening as I intuitively
realized the truth of my own words. He was dangerous. He'd been trying to
tell me that all along.
He just looked at me, eyes full of some emotion I couldn't comprehend.
"But not bad," I whispered, shaking my head. "No, I don't believe that
you're bad."
"You're wrong." His voice was almost inaudible. He looked down, stealing
my bottle lid and then spinning it on its side between his fingers. I
stared at him, wondering why I didn't feel afraid. He meant what he was
saying — that was obvious. But I just felt anxious, on edge… and, more
than anything else, fascinated. The same way I always felt when I was
near him.
Intuitively?! It's not intuitive if someone keeps on telling you the same thing and it takes you months to realize it! That's called being as dense as a George Lucas when he thought that Jar-Jar Binks was a good idea! And THEN she utterly denies it! It's like she can't process any information that doesn't fit with her world view. \~/\~/\~/\~/\~/
It's time for biology and Edward says that he's ditching class. Bella is surprised at this but goes off to class anyway.
They're doing a blood-typing lab. With the risk of AIDs and things like that I don't think it would be something that would be allowed in schools anymore. \~/ But this is just an excuse for Bella to get faint. Mike escorts her out to the nurse when they run into ... Edward! Edward demands to take Bella to the nurse and Mike is all 'nuh-uh'. It's like two dogs fighting over a piece of meat. Edward then SCOOPS Bella easily up and walks off with her to the nurse. Hi, let me reinforce the fact that I'm not normal even though I'm trying to hide in the middle of this town where everyone soon finds out about everything" \~/\~/\~/
It turns out that the sight of blood doesn't make Bella faint, is the smell of blood. I'm not really sure how that one works. Which should make it interesting if Edward ever bites her. She can faint into his arms from his snacking. \~/ Though the fact that she can smell the blood, makes me rather curious, as that's sort of a "Vampire" trait. I'm wondering if it's some sort of hint that she'll be a human vampire or something. She's already got the pale thing down, after all.
Edward drives her home because she's too sick to get to gym. She has a snit fit when he insists that he drive her. These sorts of things always annoy me. She knows she just had a fainting spell and that she's really in no condition to drive. Also, she would love it if Edward made mad passionate love to her but she can't get into the car? Even though she was all fluttery about driving to Seattle with him earlier. I would thinks she would jump at the excuse to ride in the car with him. Even after Edward promises to have one of his sisters drive her truck back for her. \~/ This is trying to add angst and drama. She's flipped her position on how she feels about Edward. Or at least, acts around him.
She asks him to the beach and he's all well Mike didn't invite me and doesn't want me to come. Bella says she's inviting him. He'll show up, I'm sure of it. Just in time to rescue Bella from something stupid.
There's some infodumping about Bella's background and how her mother is always acting very young and how the mother said that Bella was born thirty five and keeps on getting older. I find that one hard to believe from the way Bella acts. We're being told one thing, but shown another and really, it's the things we're shown that makes a difference. The Infodump is handled rather well, actually, in conversation without any "As you know Bobs".
Meyer's writing style is rather decent it's just her characterization and logic that I'm having issues with.
Edward leaves her off at home teasingly telling her not to fall into anything or get hurt and she takes offense at that stalking off into the house.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-07-15 08:48 am (UTC)That's precisely what I thought while reading this book- some of the writing is actually pretty good. Meyer's a competent writer, she just seems so hopelessly infatuated with Bella-and-Edward she can't see past it for the life of her, meaning the story descends into purple prose and illogical crap for the sake of TWU WUB. I find that sadder than reading a book that's just plain bad, personally. =(
no subject
Date: 2008-07-15 04:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-15 08:49 am (UTC)The beach? In winter? In a place where it's cold enough for snow and ice and all that? Are they crazy? I wouldn't go into the water at Bondi in winter!
Edward calls her over? Fantastic way of trying to protect her if you're so dangerous, I don't think!
Clearly their logic is not Earth logic.
He's at an empty one and beckons her over to his table. To be exact he winks at her and calls her over with one finger. \~/ It kinda reminds me of someone soliciting sex. It's a sort of, "Hey baby" call you'd see in a bar.
And yet apparently it doesn't get like that. Do you think maybe Meyer wanted to write something else the entire time she was aiming for this supposedly 'wholesome' relationship?
"I told you — I got tired of trying to stay away from you. So I'm giving up."
Why not move across the country? In fact, why the everlasting hell is Bella this important at all? Someone, anyone- does this ever get explained in the series? Even vaguely?
"Yes — giving up trying to be good. I'm just going to do what I want now, and let the chips fall where they may."
"Las Vegas sounds the hell of a lot more fun, anyway," Edward said. And who'll notice some extra sparkles there?
"I always say too much when I'm talking to you — that's one of the problems."
No, Edward, you start speaking Stupid. It happens around things like Bella.
It's interesting too, that Edward doesn't want to join in with Bella's circle of friends and takes her out of it just to talk to her.
You'd think there'd have been a better time, at least. Though it's creepy either way.
"You're dangerous?" I guessed, my pulse quickening as I intuitively realized the truth of my own words. He was dangerous. He'd been trying to tell me that all along.
Trying!? *headwall* Gods, she's stupid.
no subject
Date: 2008-07-15 12:13 pm (UTC)If by this you mean, "Is there a reason why Edward is so obsessed with Bella here?", yes, it is explained. And it is very, very stupid.
no subject
Date: 2008-07-15 05:07 pm (UTC)Could be. We don't know what the first draft was supposed to be.
Gods, she's stupid.
I believe this has been established rather well by now.
no subject
Date: 2008-07-15 09:13 am (UTC)Yep, more alternate reality. I can't think of any reason for the beach to be forty degrees colder than Forks, and some good logical reasons why it wouldn't be. And I've been to the beach in Washington state in winter. It was, I don't know, in the 30s or 40s (F) (in other words, right around what Wikipedia says Forks averages in December), and the ocean there is cold even in summer.
Though why I'm complaining about the weather when Edward keeps sounding like a serial killer and Bella keeps acting like her IQ is somewhere in the negative numbers, I really don't know. Why are these characters supposed to be appealing again? I'm starting to hope he'll eat her and then a random vampire slayer will stake him.
no subject
Date: 2008-07-15 05:09 pm (UTC)Though why I'm complaining about the weather when Edward keeps sounding like a serial killer and Bella keeps acting like her IQ is somewhere in the negative numbers, I really don't know. Why are these characters supposed to be appealing again?
To try and keep your sanity?
no subject
Date: 2008-07-15 09:26 pm (UTC)I meant that it's going to be forty degrees at Forks...
Blame that on late night reading failure. (Commas are so easy to miss at 3 am.) Still, I'm with you. I have no idea why people would go to the beach in winter. Now, sure, if Forks were on the coast, they might go walk on the beach, but this is just silly.
Then again, these people do seem to do the exact opposite of what makes sense. They probably go skiing in August.
(Though the blood thing makes sense if the author is my age and, yet again, failed to do research. When I was in high school, we did, indeed type our own blood. Now, I really, really doubt it.)
no subject
Date: 2008-07-15 11:07 am (UTC)Anyway, two small points:
1. The blood labs...boy, did she do it wrong! I cannot think of any school that would allow real blood to be used. They do have to worry about HIV and other blood-born ickies. In my school, when we did our blood labs, it was with some kind of chemical that would congel like blood for the types, and koolaid. No real blood because that is considered unsanitary.
2. The beach in winter in Washington state? I'm sure that parka is just sexy. I'd imagine it's very cold and very snowy there. I suggest taking a whole bottle if she shows up in a bikini.
If anyone lives in or near WA, let me know if my idea of the winters there is correct. I mean, come on, it's at least as high north as New York, right? I know New York has some pretty cold winters. Even with the warm air blowing in from the ocean, you'd still be cold.
no subject
Date: 2008-07-15 05:15 pm (UTC)1. I know! You don't use blood anymore in anything except maybe med school. But then we couldn't have the Bella fainting at the smell of blood scene. Better someone got their finger cut or something.
2.In this alternate reality of Washington state? I imagine it'll have some sort of odd weather. And no one will be wearing a parka or anything.
no subject
Date: 2008-07-15 11:42 am (UTC)Are you sure she isn't Rose Tyler in disguise?
no subject
Date: 2008-07-15 05:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-16 03:11 am (UTC)I think the Doctor that ended up with Rose will eventually run screaming in horror from her, but that may be just me.
no subject
Date: 2008-07-16 04:20 pm (UTC)Though it does leave the question of what happened to the Doctor in that verse. Also why the human Doctor's brain didn't go kablooie like Donna's did.
Speaking of which, any gossip on who the next companion is?
no subject
Date: 2008-07-15 01:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-15 05:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-15 08:56 pm (UTC)Meyer, you told me this was going to be a wholesome relationship! (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=balls+are+touching) O:!
no subject
Date: 2008-07-15 02:36 pm (UTC)Ha ha. Oh wow. I can't believe I didn't notice that one when I read the book XD
And did I miss something? Why are they suddenly friend? That bothered me even when I liked the book.
Moral of the story? When cat gives you a warning, send someone else to stick your hand under there.
The vaccuum cleaner does the trick for me :D
She thinks something around the likes of Peter Parker/Batman
XD
Meyer's writing style is rather decent it's just her characterization and logic that I'm having issues with.
You hit the nail straight on the head, Kippur.
no subject
Date: 2008-07-15 05:26 pm (UTC)Edward decided to stop trying to stay away from her.
The vaccuum cleaner does the trick for me :D
Oh? How does that work?
You hit the nail straight on the head, Kippur.
It annoys me more than the other writers I've looked at because she has POTENTIAL. She just needs to inject logic into it. Hamilton had it too, but she just trashed it. That being so, she's lost all respect in my opinion.
no subject
Date: 2008-07-15 07:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-19 03:37 pm (UTC)My cat hates the noise. I just turn it on, stick it under the bed, and he scrambles out from under there like a bat out of hell ^^
It annoys me more than the other writers I've looked at because she has POTENTIAL. She just needs to inject logic into it. Hamilton had it too, but she just trashed it. That being so, she's lost all respect in my opinion.
True.
no subject
Date: 2008-07-15 10:34 pm (UTC)Stephenie Meyer: Fails at characterization, climate, and biology!
no subject
Date: 2008-07-16 10:12 am (UTC)I've seen a few fantasy books that describe 'the coppery smell of blood' in swordfights and such... it's not far off.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-02 06:04 am (UTC)I'm wondering if it's some sort of hint that she'll be a human vampire or something. She's already got the pale thing down, after all.
Shouldn't we have learnt from Eragon already that TRU LUVS must always be the same race?