In which Bella continues to whine.

[kippurbird]

First, I got a fan brat! =D

Everyone say hi! =D

It is a thing of beauty, I think.

Would that be a flame?

I dunno.

Moving on!

Chapter two: Open Book

As I waited, trying to pretend that
the earsplitting rumble was coming from someone else's car, I saw the two
Cullens and the Hale twins getting into their car. It was the shiny new
Volvo. Of course. I hadn't noticed their clothes before — I'd been too
mesmerized by their faces. Now that I looked, it was obvious that they
were all dressed exceptionally well; simply, but in clothes that subtly
hinted at designer origins. With their remarkable good looks, the style
with which they carried themselves, they could have worn dishrags and
pulled it off. It seemed excessive for them to have both looks and money.
But as far as I could tell, life worked that way most of the time. It
didn't look as if it bought them any acceptance here.

So, these vampires, who are already attracting attention because of their looks and weird eating habits and lack of socializing who are, for some reason, trying to hide out in a small town where everyone knows everyone have now brought even more attention to themselves by wearing conspicuously different clothes and car. It's almost as if they're asking to be found. Such actions and looks would be more appropriate in Los Angeles where almost everyone seems to look like that. Not only that, but the fact they aren't trying to act like a local means that they shouldn't be getting any happy vibes from the town because who likes people who were being unfriendly and rebuffing every attempt to be nice. But, I doubt that would happen. Those things don't happen.

And of course it doesn't bring them any acceptance here. They're saying "we're too good than the rest of you."

I always thought the point of hiding was to not stand out.

I think they missed that memo.

Bella goes shopping. Bella buys food. Bella makes steak and potatoes for dinner. No, really, she does. Bella gets emails from her worried mother who wants to know if she got in okay. Bella is sort of eye-rolly about this. Which is silly, because mom's have every right to worry like this and it's only polite to let them know you got in safely. At least that's what I would do.

And then she decides to reread Wuthering Heights "the novel we were currently
studying in English —yet again for the fun of it,". I would read it again to refresh myself on the book and see if I could come up with things to discuss in class. The book is assigned for a purpose, and this is just making Bella seem arrogant and not someone who cares about their school work. If anything she should have said, "reading Wuthering Heights, the novel we're studying for class, which would be fun". That would make her sound intelligent and well read without being a snob.

Charlie comes home and they have their dinner. When Bella asks about the Cullens' Dad gives a propaganda speech.

"People in this town," he muttered. "Dr. Cullen is a brilliant surgeon
who could probably work in any hospital in the world, make ten times the
salary he gets here," he continued, getting louder. "We're lucky to have
him — lucky that his wife wanted to live in a small town. He's an asset
to the community, and all of those kids are well behaved and polite. I
had my doubts, when they first moved in, with all those adopted
teenagers. I thought we might have some problems with them. But they're
all very mature — I haven't had one speck of trouble from any of them.
That's more than I can say for the children of some folks who have lived
in this town for generations. And they stick together the way a family
should — camping trips every other weekend… Just because they're
newcomers, people have to talk."

Do adopted teenagers make a difference in behavior? If I remember correctly, it was mentioned that they were adopted when they were eight. Again, with the inability to hit subtle, a brilliant surgeon? Living out here? How much easier is it to find you? The teenage kids thing is just random. And why would his wife have problems living in a small town, she's not the brilliant surgeon who will have practically nothing to do. Because Brilliant Surgeons? Don't always make the best GPs. They have a far more specialized knowledge than what would be needed in general practice, and I can't see there being much need for a surgeon in such a small town. At least not one on a regular basis enough to make a living to keep up his family in all the stylish clothes.

The camping trip is a bit of non-sequitor and if sticking together is what a family should do, why did Charlie get a divorce? Really, the only reason why that is there is to show how wonderful the Cullens are. And for a background info-dump.

The Weekend Passes. Nothing happens. She returns to school on Monday and it starts to snow. Bella doesn't like the snow. She goes to class. She goes to lunch and Edward is there.

Edward looks better. "His skin was less pale, I decided —flushed from the snow fight maybe — the circles under his eyes much less noticeable. But there was something more. I pondered, staring, trying to isolate the change."

They look at each other and Edward is more looking at her like he's curious instead of hating her.

They go to class. Edward has a musical voice as he says hello to her. She's also surprised that he calls her "Bella" and not "Isabella". I would think that he would have heard her mention it or other people mention it when talking about her.

Their class assignment, which again, Bella has already done, involves putting cells in proper mitosis order. When she touches Edward, "it stung my hand as if an electric current had passed through us." This is important. My guess is that it has to do with them being soul-mates or something. In any case, it's important.

They get the lab done quickly and we learn that Bella was in advanced classes back in Phoenix. Well, isn't that special. She's brilliant. So, we're suppose to feel sorry for her because she's not in a class that's up to her level. Not only that, but Edward is up to her level and so they'll have to work together.

Finally we learn why Bella is here in Forks.

"Phil travels a lot. He plays ball for a living." I half-smiled.

"Have I heard of him?" he asked, smiling in response.

"Probably not. He doesn't play well. Strictly minor league. He moves
around a lot."

"And your mother sent you here so that she could travel with him." He
said it as an assumption again, not a question.

My chin raised a fraction. "No, she did not send me here. I sent myself."

His eyebrows knit together. "I don't understand," he admitted, and he
seemed unnecessarily frustrated by that fact.

I sighed. Why was I explaining this to him? He continued to stare at me
with obvious curiosity.

"She stayed with me at first, but she missed him. It made her unhappy… so

I decided it was time to spend some quality time with Charlie." My voice
was glum by the time I finished.

"But now you're unhappy," he pointed.

Now she's a self sacrificing! And Brilliant! And Whiny! And She doesn't like the snow! And the Hottest guy in school is interested in her life! Whoa! Whoa is her!

Gag me.

Edward correctly diagnosis that she's not as happy as she pretends to be. How insightful. She gets irritated and wants to know why it matters to him. He could just be trying to be friendly and make up for the last time they were in class together.

Poor Mike keeps on being describe in doggish terms. He's really smitten with her. Which is sad. I think something bad might happen to him.

The day ends and she drives off. After being freaked out by Edward looking at her.

This chapter seems to be more set up on how wonderful and hard Bella is and has it. As well as trying to get her and Edward together. Edward continually seems to be trying to get away from her, but Meyers isn't letting him. I know it's supposed to be for other reasons, but it still feels like he's trying to run away. Much like King Arthur from the French.

Comments

[wariena.livejournal.com]

RE the Fan Brat: Aww, that's so cute. She thinks we're too stupid to appreciate the subtleties that are the immense pile of crap the Inheritence series is. Play it again, fanbrat, play it again.

RE Twilight: Bella seriously pissed me off when I read this book- she's a horrible narrator. She comes off whiny and egocentric and acts like she's some kind of queen amongst peasants who she deems to be "friends", despite their unworthiness.

It doesn't help that she always ends up describing the most mundane parts of her day- like we need to know that she had PE and Math and English and Spanish today, and that she made steak and potatoes and then she had a shower and went to bed. Freakin' YAWN.

Just you wait til she and Edward actually get together though. Y'ain't seen nothin' yet!

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

RE The Fanbrat: This would require Eragon/Eldest to have subtlety.

RE Twilight: She comes off whiny and egocentric and acts like she's some kind of queen amongst peasants who she deems to be "friends", despite their unworthiness.

That is what she's doing, isn't it? Very well put.

She needs to work on what details and descriptions are necessary and which aren't.

[jacedraccus.livejournal.com]

I couldn't help it, the fanbrat was begging for a response... I have this compulsion to smack them down.

It's funny, I know someone who loves these books, and I told her some of your comments on the first chapter, and her response was basically that it's all about context and I should read the book before reading the critique. Or something.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

The sad thing is, the fanbrat probably won't see it, as they're anonymous. Probably.

Hehe. You should show her the comments then. As I have read the book. =D

[jacedraccus.livejournal.com]

I know, but it's there if they ever do return. *rubs hands*

Yeeeeah, I don't want to risk creating an 'Eragon fan' situation...

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Why not? It'd be interesting. I'm curious as to see how a fan reacts to these.

[ameliorer.livejournal.com]

That's what I did. I read Eragon before I read Kippur's critique, just in case there was a chance that she was being too critical.

Sorry, but Kippur's critique made Eragon more enjoyable, if anything. (Although I did enjoy semi-sporking it myself.)

[jacedraccus.livejournal.com]

Heck, I read Eragon after her critique, I think, and found myself agreeing with pretty much all of it. Even showed me some things I might not have seen otherwise.

I tried to read Eldest after her critique too, but it was worse than she led us to believe. I didn't even finish the first chapter.

I'm a bad girl

[oceans-heart.livejournal.com]

I poked the fan brat. I couldn't resist. And this book is definitely fulfilling everything I've heard about it.

Re: I'm a bad girl

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Nothing wrong with poking at fan brats until someone loses an eye.

It's better than Blake at least!

Re: I'm a bad girl

[sarah-k-o-m.livejournal.com]

That's not hard though.

Personally, I sort of liked it. I gave allowances for it being a first book and the author being (or so I thought) a teen.
Seriously, I did think that. Imagine my surprise after.

Re: I'm a bad girl

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Yes. I guess, in this case, I'm trying to point out the flaws and what could be done to make it better. Also what she does right. (When I find it.)

Re: I'm a bad girl

[sarah-k-o-m.livejournal.com]

Well, it'll be easier than to try the same with Eragon.
What the hell was with that book anyway? I worldbuilt better when I was 13 FFS!

[thelittlebudgie.livejournal.com]

The bit about the electric jolt made me wonder how vampires who stole electricity would work.

They really fail at hiding, unless they're trying to be so flamboyantly obvious that no one could possibly believe that they're people who are supposed to be hiding.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

It'd be interesting, but would they have to feed off any human? Or something else?

It's like they're carrying a sign that says, "We're not here. Honest".

[brainchild129.livejournal.com]

For me, it just confirms my theory that the Cullens are just really stupid. The only thing that's saved them is that the people of Forks are just a little bit more stupid, or otherwise someone would have put things together and figured something was up with them - maybe not vampirism, but certainly something

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

or otherwise someone would have put things together and figured something was up with them - maybe not vampirism, but certainly something.

Very true. They do appear to be oblivious to the fact that they're really weird. Or at least not at all curious.

[authoressarktos.livejournal.com]

The fanbrat made me giggle.

In any case, I have to agree with what you said about the random details Meyer puts in her chapters. They don't add to the story, they subtract from it. Furthermore, Bella...I could never fully like her even when I first read it, because she just seems so self-centered. Doesn't she care about her parents and friends besides her obligatory 'I love you guys! kthnxbi' attitude?

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

It's cute, isn't it? It's trying to put the fear of... something in me. I'm not sure. Oh! I know, it's trying to hurt my feelings. =D

Well, there's self centered and then there's self centered. She's the bad kind.

[authoressarktos.livejournal.com]

It's not doing a very good job, then.

True, very true.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Nope! I'm very hard to put the fear of criticism in. That got taken away when I did my Master's Thesis. Lots of "Well, this doesn't work and maybe you should try this". Not very good for the ego I tell you.

I should write something on that.

[mranon-y-mous.livejournal.com]

Can we has bad romance nao?

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Soon, I imagine. Soon.

[gjohnsonkoehn.livejournal.com]

It seemed excessive for them to have both looks and money.
But as far as I could tell, life worked that way most of the time. It didn't look as if it bought them any acceptance here.

There's something odd about these three sentences. First, Bella refers to the Speshul People as being 'excessive', which to me suggests snobbery or high-handedness. Then, she whines, in a sort of half-hearted way, about the fact that they're both rich and beautiful. Which is followed by an immediate 180, wherein she appears surprised that people don't immediately gravitate towards the beautiful, rich, well-dressed, cliquey people in the unnecessarily nice car.

I wonder if someone hit her in the head between the second and third sentence...

As for the explanation for her moving in with 'Charlie' (and, really? you call your dad by his first name to strangers?), it doesn't quite ring true. First, why would a minor league ball player move around so often; seems unlikely they'd be trading heavily in the minors, and if he's jumping from team to team he's probably not good enough to actually earn the money necessary to live.

Finally, and this may be a misunderstanding on my part caused by the interchanging of the words 'move' (implying actually moving your house) and 'travel' (implying that you go away for a time, then come back to your house), why did the mother have to choose between Bella and Phil? Couldn't she have gone on road trips with Phil and left the overly-precocious Bella on her own for a week? Clearly she can drive, shop and cook for herself.

[smurasaki.livejournal.com]

"(and, really? you call your dad by his first name to strangers?)"

That sentance struck me as off, and I've always called my parents by their first names. Somehow using his name made it sound even more impersonal, as if she'd just moved in with some random guy.

But then, I can't decide whether Bella's reason for moving in with her dad or the Cullen's version of "hiding" comes off as more idiotic.

[brainchild129.livejournal.com]

I just wonder why didn't Bella go and stay with a grandparent/aunt/uncle/cousin/family friend who was closer to home. Does she not have any? Or do they all find her as insufferable as we, the readers do?

Also, her reasoning for living with her father is just another facet of her so-called martyrdom. "Sorry Mom, but I don't get you to myself to parent, since you're incapable of doing so by yourself, so I'm going to go pout at Dad's place in the Pacific Northwest! Don't worry about me, even though I'll be miserable! Byeee!"

Finally, so by Bella's reasoning, because they're beautiful, of course they should be rich? Or is it vice versa? Either way it makes no sense.

[gjohnsonkoehn.livejournal.com]

No, it's "they shouldn't be rich and beautiful, but since they are, people should like them for it."

[jacedraccus.livejournal.com]

He might have been playing a lot of away games. That was my thought.

[gjohnsonkoehn.livejournal.com]

There's that, but in that case he and the mother would be away for, what, two days? Three at the outside? Surely Bella could have taken care of herself for three days every other week or so, and it's not like her mom has to go to every single game he plays.

These people are unreasonable in their extremism!

[detritius.livejournal.com]

Well, this is Bella. She's really, really accident prone. (I know, extremism again.) If her mom left her home alone, she would probably come back to find her dead from falling down the stairs, or something.

So it kind of makes sense... but only when you take into account other traits that... don't make much sense. Which is kind of Twilight in a nutshell.

[gjohnsonkoehn.livejournal.com]

Have we actually seen any of that to this point? Or is this yet another case of the author telling us necessary information only after the fact?

[b2wm.livejournal.com]

We merely had the "O noes I'm not athletic," at least as mentioned in the summary.

[kazeraikaku.livejournal.com]

You forgot the one most important part of this whole chapter:
SM wrote a sentence that was actually funny! Although it's very "..." when we see how much Bella's all bitchy over everyone except Edward, for whom she is so spineless she "made the Cowardly Lion look like the Terminator." Oh, excuse me, terminator. Obviously, the Lion is far more awesome than the Terminator.

(BTW, hallo~ I'm Ken's T, and even now thinking about your suggestion of heavy sedation alcohol to finish this book :D)