So... there is bad sex.

[kippurbird]

Now that we've had that lovely... interlude... I suppose we could call it. We find Triscuit hanging around in the dark where he says that he doesn't know what day or hour it was. Which is utterly ridiculous when it comes to the day part. They have about three days left. Obviously It couldn't have been three days then. Which leaves two or one. I have the feeling that the Sorceresses will come in and taunt them every day, which means that a day hasn't passed. So it's been less than a day. Not that hard to figure out on my end.

Anyway, Earwig and Triscuit talk. Earwig says that they must speak obliquely. He says out loud that they need to speak in code. In a room that is more than likely bugged you say out loud that you're going to talk in code. How stupid do you have to be to do that? Or does he think that Triscuit isn't smart enough to realize that he's going to be talking in code so he has to tell him that he is? Somehow, I fear the later. Apparently thinking obliquely means, to think "in intricate layers of thought and deed".

Earwig tells him obliquely that he still has the locket and that Triscuit should wait until the right time to use his magic because sometimes the littlest thing can do a lot of damage. Triscuit doesn't get that last part. But I bet at the right moment it'll come to him! Also that Triscuit must kill his sister if he has to.

Eventually Sushi walks in wearing that erotic leather outfit of hers and leading a bunch of slaves to feed the gargoyles. Sister is also with her. Triscuit shouts at her which surprises Sushi because she's not used to men talking to her without permission. She lets them free and somehow, even after being in that cage not being able to move for at least a day, Triscuit manages to land on his feet like a cat. This is just like when he fell down the hole and didn't hurt himself. He is Gumby.

Triscuit, Earwig and Dwarf get fed. Triscuit still finds Sushi beautiful even though she's evil. They're fed by the slaves. Earwig and Dwarf get put back. Triscuit gets to watch Sister feed the Gargoyles. Apparently the one that Triscuit fought is the only intelligent one of the lot. And yet he's apparently perfectly satisfied with hanging out in a hole in the ground with the other dumb ones. If was as well spoken as that gargoyle I'd be like, No, I'm not hanging out with these louts. Apparently baby gargoyles are kept in bottles.

Once again Triscuit appeals to Sister saying can't you see I'm your brother. And she says no, but damn you're hot. The six slaves are all "young,lithe, and beautiful" which makes them a waste for them to die. I'm sure if they were ugly it'd be okay though. Notice that nothing about their intelligence or skills matters here. Just their looks. Sister pushes the slaves into the pit and they all die horribly. Triscuit gives a dire proclamation about how he's going to kill his sister. Because she's no longer her his sister.

Finally Sushi decides to rape Triscuit. Finally. I shouldn't say that. Still. Sister wants to watch. Sushi disrobes Triscuit and Sister sees the medallion and it puzzles her. Sushi says that she'll show Sister how it's done. Sister is pregnant, I'm fairly certain she knows how to have sex. But I imagine she probably did it wrong by letting the man be on top.

Sushi gets Triscuit up, "greater than he had ever known". She rides him.

And then it happened.

Succi threw back her head and screamed, and as if she could will it, with that scream came the inevitable waves as they rippled through his groin. But this time, the experience was different.

The pain was beyond anything he had ever experienced in his life.

Every nerve was on fire as he, too, began to scream, his sweat covered body convulsively dancing and jangling like a marionette at the end of unseen strings, his head thrashing violently back and forth, white foam dribbling from the corners of hims moth. To his dazed and controlled mind it seemed to go on forever, his own screams mingling with hers, joining and careening off the white, spotless walls of the Sanctuary.

There's really nothing much I can say to that except that Newcomb has an interesting choice in imagery. "dancing and jangling like a marionette at the end of unseen strings". Also, Triscuit appears to have become rabid. Best put him down out of our misery.

To make things even worse (I bet you're ALL wondering how that can be too, but trust me, it does). You see, Sorceresses can chose when they conceive. Damn biology! Also Sorceresses can accelerate their pregnancies. So Triscuit's kid will be born three days from then. Apparently the Sorceresses are really good at popping out babies yes. Just like a real woman should be.

Triscuit angsts about it and is put back in his cage.

Triscuit and Earwig once again talk Obliquely. I'm stopping here for now, because the next chapter is the Communion and I don't want to stop in the middle of it.

Comments

[gjohnsonkoehn.livejournal.com]

How stupid do you have to be to do that?

I'm going to say, stupid enough to be a Newcomb character.

Triscuit gives a dire proclamation about how he's going to kill his sister. Because she's no longer her his sister.

I like how easily he gives up on his dead father's hallucinated last request. That's nice. Way to respect your elders there, kid.

The pain was beyond anything he had ever experienced in his life.

Um... what?

[jacedraccus.livejournal.com]

Ahhhh, daddy's ghost will forgive him. He's an easygoing guy.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

I like how easily he gives up on his dead father's hallucinated last request. That's nice. Way to respect your elders there, kid.

Bah. Triscuit does what ever Triscuit wants to do. And he's always right.

Um... what?

Got me.

[smurasaki.livejournal.com]

I wish I had a *headdesk* icon. This book...oh gods...

"in intricate layers of thought and deed".
Are either Triscuit or Earwig capable of intricate layers of anything? I'm not sure they could figure out pig latin.

Sushi gets Triscuit up, "greater than he had ever known".

Noooo, they have Enzyte! Magic Enzyte.

The pain was beyond anything he had ever experienced in his life.

Like reading this book.

*uses her headesk icon*

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Are either Triscuit or Earwig capable of intricate layers of anything? I'm not sure they could figure out pig latin.

In theory. Though Triscuit has to work at it. There wasn't anything intricate at all. Earwig just talked in code.

[jacedraccus.livejournal.com]

*headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow**headpillow*

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

... oh dear.

[kellicat.livejournal.com]

Here's a link to Magic's End (http://kellicat.livejournal.com/1384.html#cutid1) to help everyone regain their sanity.

[jacedraccus.livejournal.com]

Not a bad start. :D

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

*claps*

[veriun.livejournal.com]

"his head thrashing violently back and forth"

Somehow, this created the mental picture of Tristan headbanging. While having sex.

WHYYYYYY? D:

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Because God hates you.

[guardians-song.livejournal.com]

In tune to the thrusting?

[the-norseman.livejournal.com]

Why do I get mental images of Beavis and Butthead?

[jacedraccus.livejournal.com]

Because that's about the mental level of this drek... not the cartoon, the characters. Beavis and Butthead could seriously have written something like this.

[gjohnsonkoehn.livejournal.com]

Nah. In Beavis and Butthead's stories, lesbianism wouldn't be a sign of evilness. You'd have to be a gay man or a hippy for that.

[authoressarktos.livejournal.com]

There's really nothing much I can say to that except that Newcomb has an interesting choice in imagery. "dancing and jangling like a marionette at the end of unseen strings".

Well, in order to write something like this he must be on crack anyway. Come to think of it, that would explain everything! My sanity and faith in humanity is saved! :D

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

I'd wait on that if I were you.

[reverie-shadow.livejournal.com]

See now, Earwig had to have figured that at one point the two of them would be captured, what with running headlong into the enemy's territory. What he should have done was create a type of code for him and Triscuit to speak then so that when they're captured, they could just start talking in code without having to ANNOUNCE THAT THEY HAVE TO. But this method would've been too smart for either of them.

Apparently the Sorceresses are really good at popping out babies yes. Just like a real woman should be.
Sadly this is all starting to make me think of this picture. Der Sigh.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

But this method would've been too smart for either of them.

Well yes, what were you expecting? Intelligence?

Sadly this is all starting to make me think of this picture. Der Sigh.

Eeehee

[last-servant.livejournal.com]

See, the Sorceresses real plan is to fill this world with so much stupid that it collapses on itself. They are rebelling against Newcomb!

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

What about Triscuit then?

[last-servant.livejournal.com]

I thought we established Trisse as an author surrogate; so by killing Triscuit, they are metaphorically killing Newcomb.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

But Newcomb wouldn't allow that!

[last-servant.livejournal.com]

It's his sanity unconsciously manifesting.

[x-trickster-x.livejournal.com]

Homygawd, Newcomb just put me off sex for the rest of my life. O__o I think there was something similiar to that scene in The Exorcist.

Also, three day pregnancy? Owww. Pregnancies look squicky enough over 9 months, imagine what it'd be like condensed into THREE DAYS. I almost feel sorry for Sushi.

[carolpent.livejournal.com]

She'd probably swell like a big baloon while going into a firey rage every ten seconds.

[gjohnsonkoehn.livejournal.com]

It's nine months of morning sickness condensed down into three days that really worries me, personally.

[guardians-song.livejournal.com]

And then bursting into tears.

...Wait, how is this any different from Newcomb's NORMAL view of women?

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Nah. Pregnancy is a beautiful and wonderful thing with no pain at all. Haven't you notice that Sister, even though she's going to give birth any day now, is not at all bothered by it?

[jacedraccus.livejournal.com]

She's too distracted by HAWT LESBEAN KISSEZ!

[dove-cg.livejournal.com]

... And I felt bad because I wanted to write some porn involving a clown.

Pain? ... Pain? I don't think Newcomb has ever had sex before. Pain is possible, of course, but that usually means you're doing it wrong or just having to work through something specific. I'll let the guys who comment here have the last say on whether that's feasible or not (but my best guess is that Sushi and Triscuit both have STDs. Hell, Triscuit already has rabies...)

[the-norseman.livejournal.com]

I just assumed the pain was something magical.

[gjohnsonkoehn.livejournal.com]

I guess the little blue magic pills have some nasty side effects after all.

[jacedraccus.livejournal.com]

I dunno, there's people who are just a searing pain to be around....

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

It's MAGIC pain. =D

[christinaathena.livejournal.com]

You see, Sorceresses can chose when they conceive. Damn biology! Also Sorceresses can accelerate their pregnancies. So Triscuit's kid will be born three days from then. Apparently the Sorceresses are really good at popping out babies yes. Just like a real woman should be.

To be fair, that would be a rather useful magic for a matriarchy. To keep the species going, at least a good portion of the female population need to have babies, so being able to compress pregnancy to just a few days would allow them to keep pregnancy from impeding their careers.

(Well, if you ignore the physical issues of expanding the uterus so dramatically in just THREE DAYS and related issues, but magic can surely take care of that)