Twu lub blooms.

[kippurbird]

Ahh... so Triscuit is off to kill things. Where before he had been frozen unable to move, this time he leaps off the hill and twirls his body around in mid air -making me think of those ice skaters - and kills the two Minions very easily. Now the question is this. Why is he able to kill the two Minions very easily when it's just for some random girl who might be dead, but not able to kill Kludge when his father's life is at stake? Just ponder this for a moment. Kludge gave him a sword and did nothing except kill your father or I'll kill him messily. Triscuit HAD the sword in his hands and he did NOTHING except stand around with his mouth open to catch flies. Now that he has to rescue girl who may not be alive he's able to easily kill TWO minions. Why? Plot Contrivance. If Triscut kills daddy he has Angst. If Triscut rescues girl he's a hero. And in no point did Triscuit go though a change of experience or a "I can do this sort of thing" where he meets a challenge similar to the Minions. He just does it.

Also Newcomb says, "colorless vitreous humor" which is in reference....*checks Medical Dictionary* to the gooey stuff in the eye. Who actually uses vitreous humors unless they're writing in medical journals? I mean at Triscuit's world level of technology they wouldn't even have a word for that besides like maybe gooey stuff from behind the eye. Then he notices the shiny throwing Xena Wheel and decides to keep it. And that must be his THIRD weapon that the Prophecy was talking about. Never mind the fact that he has no idea how to use it. I mean it takes the Minions years to learn how to use it properly. But it doesn't matter, he'll be able to use it just fine because he's the Chosen One.

He goes down to the Wheels of Misfortune and takes a gander at the dead people. Where upon...

Upon reaching the wheel, he found himself look up at the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. The long blond hair that hung down between the spokes of the wheel was thick and lustrous, and amazing combination of colors that resembled corn tassels laced with the palest of honey. The similarly colored eyebrows were long and arching; he imagined her eyes were blue. She had a slim straight nose; pink lips, and Tristan could see the dried rivulets of tears that had run from her eyes, then onto her cheeks, and down onto the ground.

Apparently Lillith has all been forgotten and we have a new contender for the DLI.

There are trophies of the dead angel people hanging in the bushes. Their clipped off wings all preserved and displayed. This makes Triscuit Mad and his endowed blood rose and strangled him much like when Grunthos the Flatulent's own major intestine, in a desperate attempt to save humanity, leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain.

We should be so lucky.

It turns out beautiful Angel is not dead, which the confirm when Triscuit pokes her in the foot with the tip of his sword. As opposed to... checking to see if she's breathing. They get her down from her wheel. Her eyes are, just as Triscuit thought, blue. Sapphire blue to be exact. She panics when she sees Triscuit thinking that he's a Minion. Then she becomes in awe of him. See he doesn't have wings and that is amazing. There is lots of remarking about her beauty.

Her name is Narrissa of the Galliplai. They take her with them because they can't leave her there. Also she hasn't been raped yet apparently. I find that one hard to believe, but what do I know?

So, they ride off and all of a sudden Angel girl feels the need to go somewhere. Because of a Gallipolai myth. Angel wants Triscuit to take her because she trusts him, but not Dwarf and Earwig, so he tells them that she needs to take care of some Female Problems.

They're going to a gravesite where the dead angel people bury themselves. I'm not really sure how that works. But she has to say "the words".

"The ones handed down through the generations. The secret words each Gallipolai learns in childhood, against the day they might be condemned to the wheel and somehow survive. The words the Minions of Day and Night know nothing of. Although our wings and hair may turn, deep inside we are still Gallipolai. And the legend says that none of use, even those whose coloring has turned, has ever divulged the secret. For they remain Galipolai first and Minion second."

Why do they have a myth and legend? Why? How would they even know about the dead burying themselves if none of them survive the wheel to tell anyone? I mean, it's a wonderful idea and everything, but how do they know about this pull that will take them to the grave site if it's never happened before?

In any case, as logic hardly matters here. She says the words, which are hardly at all impressive "Show yourselves so that you may be freed" and they start seeing tiny glowing lights in amber and silver. I'm thinking these are their souls that went and buried themselves in the ground until someone came by and said you can go now. The glowy lights then bless the two of them.

It is now time for us to depart this world, and go to another. But know this: Wherever the two of you may go, or whatever you may do, you will always be bound in your hearts by your act of kindness this night. For it is only the good that holds beings together, and only the evil that tears them apart, and in this we thank you for your charity, your courage and offer to you our blessings."

And love and happiness will over flow the rivers and the bunnies will piss rainbows and life is all fluffy cotton candy while the evil people will all die because they're bad and mean. Please deposit your donations in the tray that's being passed around.

I feel all sparkly now.

Whee!

So, Triscuit and Angel go back to Earwig and Dwarf and have a heart to heart talk. She asks all about him and he asks all about her. And yes, she's a virgin because Minions are forbidden to have sex with them.

Finally she makes Trisicut promise to return for her so that they can explore their feelings for each other. Because they need to plant their love and let it grow.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

And yes, she's a virgin because Minions are forbidden to have sex with them.

Take a moment to ponder the fact that even the Minions, who will have sex with anything that has a pulse, don't want to join private bits with the angel people.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

They're inferior. That's why. XD As opposed to the non-winged humans who they just rape because.

[christinaathena.livejournal.com]

The similarly colored eyebrows were long and arching; he imagined her eyes were blue. What? He imagined her eyes were blue? Who goes around guessing the eye colors of people whose eyes are shut?

And let's not even go into the blond hair blue eyed aspect ...

Also she hasn't been raped yet apparently. I find that one hard to believe, but what do I know? Uh ... I guess the Minions were waiting for the right moment? That's just stupid. Triscuit's One True Love has to be a virgin, I guess, never mind that he found her in a situation where she couldn't've retained her virginity.

(Then again, given Newcomb's tendencies, I suppose the alternative would be for her to just magically forget the trauma of rape ...)

And yes, she's a virgin because Minions are forbidden to have sex with them.

But ... but ... what possible reason would the Minions have to keep her alive, then?

[jacedraccus.livejournal.com]

I thought Kipur actually told us the angel people on the wheels do get raped by the Minions... unless she was guessing based on the rest of the book.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

I was guessing on previous experience of the book. But apparently I was wrong.

[reverie-shadow.livejournal.com]

Good point.

Although given that Lilith had been all "Yeah, I'm a virgin" to Triscuit last time, I'm surprised that he's not at all suspicious that he'd be at least a little paranoid about Angel. But of course, he won't, because she's Beautiful and Perfect and has Blue Sapphire Eyes and Has Wings. How can you go wrong with wings?!

But yeah, what'd be the point of having her strung up for the Minions to have their way with her if they're forbidden to have sex with the Gallipolai?

Consistency? Hah! Newcomb laughs in the face of it!

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Dude since when has Triscuit even shown the ability to think or learn from his mistakes?

Consistency? Hah! Newcomb laughs in the face of it!

Oh so true. Oh so true.

[(Anonymous)]

But yeah, what'd be the point of having her strung up for the Minions to have their way with her if they're forbidden to have sex with the Gallipolai?
It could have also meant that they wanted to have fun roughing her up.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

What? He imagined her eyes were blue? Who goes around guessing the eye colors of people whose eyes are shut?

People who are falling in love with mostly dead people, apparently.

Uh ... I guess the Minions were waiting for the right moment? That's just stupid. Triscuit's One True Love has to be a virgin, I guess, never mind that he found her in a situation where she couldn't've retained her virginity.

I don't even see why that has to be, really.

(Then again, given Newcomb's tendencies, I suppose the alternative would be for her to just magically forget the trauma of rape ...)

Triscuit did. XD

[christinaathena.livejournal.com]

I don't even see why that has to be, really.

Well, because there's only three kinds of women in the world, of course. Good, virtuous, virgins, married women (who have only had sex with their husbands), and dirty sluts. XD

[dove-cg.livejournal.com]

Like I said... the virgins, the sluts, and the pregnant (the latter of which just slip the mind of the rest of the world because once they're pregnant, they have accomplished their true goal in life and no longer matter unless they can't push it through their inferior vaginas.) ;P :)

[wariena.livejournal.com]

Well, I was nearly right. =D

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Yup!

[kaerran.livejournal.com]

*doesn't ever comment, sorry*

The last time I heard the phrase "vitreous humor" was in Sandman. I think Delirium was asking about it, but it might have been Despair.

...anyway, point is, that was the first thing I though of when I saw that. And he will not sully Sandman! *gnashes teeth*

[notadoor.livejournal.com]

In Brief Lives (Sandman 7), aqueous & vitreous humor show up a couple of times. Delirium asks several people what the word for them is, and there's a line of description where Despair plunges her hook into her eye and aqueous & vitreous humors come dribbling out.

(That was what I thought, too!)

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

See now that is something Delirium would say.

[pandoras-closet.livejournal.com]

In regards to the humors thing, Shakesphere contemporaires (bear in mind I'm going from what I remember from a playbill I read nearly fifteen years ago) humors were sort of evil spirits or some such that inhabited the body. Different humors produced or were caused by various moods and condition of the body. I got the impression that the term had been around a while. It might be doable in the context of the world. Not sure.

[notadoor.livejournal.com]

The humors are actually four bodily fluids (blood, black bile, yellow bile, phlegm) -- the ancient Greeks theorized that people had a tendency towards one or another, which would dictate their personality. If your fluids got out of balance, you would get sick -- hence bloodletting, they were trying to remove some of the blood so your humors would balance out again.

I'm pretty sure Wiki has a good article on it, but I've not actually checked.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Yes, humors were. Vitreous humors are an actual medical term for the goo in the eye, however, as opposed to the humors that balanced out the body etc.

[the-norseman.livejournal.com]

I use humoral theory in my writings too, since most fantasy writers have a tendency to either go "MAGIC!" or "Weirdly 20th Century Medicine".

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

I have no idea what I use. It's never come up.

[the-norseman.livejournal.com]

I love ancient medicine so much that I made sure it'd come up!

[dove-cg.livejournal.com]

Can you answer a few questions of mine then? Did bloodletting EVER actually help any of the patients they used it on? It must have or they would have given up on it entirely... So how? How did it actually help, if at all? :I

[the-norseman.livejournal.com]

There are a few diseases that are still treated with bloodletting, but they're very rare. Most major hospitals still maintain a phlebotomist though.

As for the rest it boils down to four points:

1. It can reduce a fever.
2. It's a muscle relaxant/analgesic, useful if you need to twist limbs back into shape.
3. People often enjoy the feeling they get after being bled. Talk to people who give blood today.
4. It gave them something to do, something visible and obvious.

However it was not universally practised, and the amount of blood drawn varied enormously with time and place. Generally it was worse in the late 18th and early 19th Centuries, and the worst of the worst was the new born United States.

This is getting a bit long though so we'd probably have to pick a different venue if you have more questions.

[carolpent.livejournal.com]

I read "Narrissa" as "Narcissa" at first (well, the description matches pretty well if you take a few liberties). Clearly, Mrd. Malfoy had a few loser boyfriends before she got with Lucius.

[carolpent.livejournal.com]

*Mrs.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Hee.

[karma-kalisutah.livejournal.com]

I actually thought the same thing. XD

[dove-cg.livejournal.com]

... It's the Whore/Virgin dilemma crap. Clearly a woman can only be a whore or a virgin... or pregnant. ;P

Though, if the angel one "turns" to Minion-looks, do they get mated with then? Bah. Just... guh. *runs off to scrub brain before work*

[karma-kalisutah.livejournal.com]

And being raped makes you a whore. *spits*

[dove-cg.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, in this book, it probably does. I have no idea if that is an unenlightened view for anyone to have in general though. ;P

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Though, if the angel one "turns" to Minion-looks, do they get mated with then?

I believe so.

... It's the Whore/Virgin dilemma crap. Clearly a woman can only be a whore or a virgin... or pregnant. ;P

And then there's the whore with the heart of gold too.

[christinaathena.livejournal.com]

And then there's the whore with the heart of gold too. Yeah, but I suspect that's one cliche we won't find in this book.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

You're probably right.

[guardians-song.livejournal.com]

Actually, we got that, it just happened that she happened to be an EVIL whore-with-a-heart-of-gold.

Natasha/Emily/Lilith, remember?

[dove-cg.livejournal.com]

Eh... isn't the whore-with-a-heart-of-gold supposed to be "cleansed" and reborn though? Like Rhapsody? Or just figuratively? Or something? So that dead chick doesn't quite count.

[guardians-song.livejournal.com]

Well, she WAS a whore with the heart of gold (and, for bonus points, a virgin!) until she did the entire double-crossy thing. :P

[dove-cg.livejournal.com]

If he had written this book using only all of the standard cliches, the book might have actually been better off. Which is just SAD. ;P

[dove-cg.livejournal.com]

Though, if the angel one "turns" to Minion-looks, do they get mated with then?

I believe so.

Well... that's how they keep getting those strains that turn into widdle bitty angel-looking freaks. Clearly genetics is not the forte of the Sorceresses... or the Minions. Or anyone in this book, really, but still!

[karma-kalisutah.livejournal.com]

HOLD IT!

So Minions can't have sex with Angels because... Angels are inferior? So sex, for Minions, is supposed to be between equals? But that goes against everything we've learned so far about Minions! Who rapes someone they don't consider inferior? Your Honor, the witness's testimony is completely contradictory!

*has been playing far too much Phoenix Wright*

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Your Honor, the witness's testimony is completely contradictory!

This entire book is completely contradictory.

[the-norseman.livejournal.com]

You just need to use the Writers Friend then everything will make perfect sense!

[(Anonymous)]

OBJECTION!
Mister Wright is using far too much logic. Let it be known that such logic can not be used in such a book. Choose your battles more carefully, Mister Wright!
*Bows*

*We've all been playing too much Phoenix Wright. Man, Edgeworth is so fucking GAR*

[smurasaki.livejournal.com]

Wh-what? O.o This book is governed by anti-logic. It has passed the realm of nonsense and entered the realm of anti-sense.

Damn you, Newcomb's intestines for not doing the noble thing and saving us from this rot!