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kippurbirdAn early...? Late? Something? Christmas gift!
Well. Not really.
Moving on!
Triscuit, Earwig and Gimpy are going off to have dinner, once again ignoring Triscuit's demands for answers. I think this is Newcomb trying to build up suspense, but instead it's really making Triscuit sound like a whiny brat the adults are ignoring because they have more important Adult Things to deal with.
I want a bagel.
Right so. We finally meet the gnome women!
There are many things wrong with the above two paragraphs. First off all they live in Eutracia. There are no foreign lands around them. They have no trading no nothing. They are completely isolated (which makes no sense, but we'll just go with it). As this is so, they have these pheasants. The pheasants come from Eutracia. There are no foreign pheasants. Why would you need to name them Eutracian pheasants then? We have Canadian Geese because the Geese come from Canada which is a different country. But before there was Canada and before the big sprawling what have you of the world, the geese were just called Geese. Or something sort of descriptive like black necked geese. But definitely not Canadian Geese.
Now then, we finally see the gnome women in their proper habitat, the kitchen, serving the men folk. The women look like the men gnomes. They are not, as Triscuit notes, curved and sensual (though I'm sure the gnome men like them). But as they are not physically attractive to humans why would humans bother to rape them? Because people before the Wizards came to rule were Evil. They had no history, they had no vision of the Afterlife and apparently no civilization. Only once the Wizards came into rule did all this random raping stop.
Finally, what exactly have the gnomes done to earn earn Triscuit's respect? Served him dinner and led him to Gimpy. These are things that servants do for their masters. None of the gnomes have done anything worthy of "respect" like fight or save his life. They're just happy little servants, for a guy who was part of the reason why there are those Beserker things and has turned them into his personal serving force. Slave force is probably more like it because they most likely don't get paid. Happy slaves are still slaves.
Earwig and Gimpy talk. Ignoring Triscuit. We get Gimpy's side of the story. We learn that Natasha's real name is Emily. And I'm sensing a Paolini naming trend here. All five of the Sorceresses have "Funny Fantasy Names" while everyone else has "Normal" names. Meanwhile all the wizards have had "Funny Fantasy Names" but everyone else has "Normal" names. Triscuit is the only anomaly here, but that's probably because Newcomb liked Tristan as a name.
Gimpy sacrificed his daughter instead of trying to rescue her. Why? Because it would have been an "Egregious waste of time and energy". Hai. I've just lost all sympathy for you. In fact when they send him a ransom note he sends it back saying, they could kill her if they chose, but he's not going to help them. Might I remind you that his daughter was FIVE years old at the time. FIVE. There's no way for her to escape and he just might as well killed her himself. A child. And it was because it was an "egregious waste of time and energy".
And then he transitions easily to but we have to fix the forest that isn't a forest.
We learn that Gimpy was captured when he went back to the cave of blood water to look for more stuff and four Sorceresses captured him recognizing that he was wearing a wizard's robe. Well that was intelligent. It's like painting a great big target on your back. They brought him to Failee and tied him up in a chair. They brought Emily before him and said tell us or we'll kill her. And he spits in her face. And even AFTER he believes she's been killed he's not sad, they only break him after torturing him. They used the same sort of torture that they used on Sister. Which apparently no one, not even someone "whose blood is as pure as mine" can resist. Because blood purity has EVERYTHING to do with how you withstand torture. The torture method they used was from the tomb of the Vagaries... which they wanted him to tell them what was in it.
This makes no sense. They've never seen the book, but they know methods from the book to get the information they want about the book.
Moving on.
Gimpy tells them that they're torturing Sister in the same way they tortured him. Triscuit, understandably gets upset and tries to hurt Gimpy when Earwig says, "This must be done his way. He has all the answers, and so far we have no reason not to believe him." I like how they just automatically believe his story after all these years of thinking he's a traitor. I mean the least they could do is find some way to make sure he's telling the truth or something. How does he even know this information? Unless he were a traitor and a spy. He tells them that he knows that sister is across the ocean and that he knows that the Coven is planning to do a Big Magic which is why they need five of them. Again how does he know this?
Remember Dwarf? He's the one Dwarf sent the pigeon too. He managed to get in contact with Dwarf by sending random pigeons with notes on them and he believes that Dwarf is telling him the truth. And then we learn that he KNEW about the attacks before hand. And what does he do? Nothing. He didn't even send a pigeon to warm the wizards which would have saved Hundreds of Thousands of lives. No one calls him on this. They just move along as if they were discussing flowers.
And this is a kicker here:
Well. Not really.
Moving on!
Triscuit, Earwig and Gimpy are going off to have dinner, once again ignoring Triscuit's demands for answers. I think this is Newcomb trying to build up suspense, but instead it's really making Triscuit sound like a whiny brat the adults are ignoring because they have more important Adult Things to deal with.
I want a bagel.
Right so. We finally meet the gnome women!
The kitchen door opened suddenly, and three gnome women wearing little white chef's aprons blew in, chatting noisily to one another. They carried a tureen of soup, a large platter of vegetables and potatoes, and another much larger platter on which were pilled three roasted Eutracian pheasants, complete with stuffing.
As the women laid the trays down and began to serve, Tristan was able to get his first good look at them. The female gnomes looked very much like the males in their faces and their broad and stout rather than curved and sensual bodies. They seemed to be very hard workers, and were clearly devoutly loyal their master. Tristan realized he was coming to like and respect the gnomes very much.
There are many things wrong with the above two paragraphs. First off all they live in Eutracia. There are no foreign lands around them. They have no trading no nothing. They are completely isolated (which makes no sense, but we'll just go with it). As this is so, they have these pheasants. The pheasants come from Eutracia. There are no foreign pheasants. Why would you need to name them Eutracian pheasants then? We have Canadian Geese because the Geese come from Canada which is a different country. But before there was Canada and before the big sprawling what have you of the world, the geese were just called Geese. Or something sort of descriptive like black necked geese. But definitely not Canadian Geese.
Now then, we finally see the gnome women in their proper habitat, the kitchen, serving the men folk. The women look like the men gnomes. They are not, as Triscuit notes, curved and sensual (though I'm sure the gnome men like them). But as they are not physically attractive to humans why would humans bother to rape them? Because people before the Wizards came to rule were Evil. They had no history, they had no vision of the Afterlife and apparently no civilization. Only once the Wizards came into rule did all this random raping stop.
Finally, what exactly have the gnomes done to earn earn Triscuit's respect? Served him dinner and led him to Gimpy. These are things that servants do for their masters. None of the gnomes have done anything worthy of "respect" like fight or save his life. They're just happy little servants, for a guy who was part of the reason why there are those Beserker things and has turned them into his personal serving force. Slave force is probably more like it because they most likely don't get paid. Happy slaves are still slaves.
Earwig and Gimpy talk. Ignoring Triscuit. We get Gimpy's side of the story. We learn that Natasha's real name is Emily. And I'm sensing a Paolini naming trend here. All five of the Sorceresses have "Funny Fantasy Names" while everyone else has "Normal" names. Meanwhile all the wizards have had "Funny Fantasy Names" but everyone else has "Normal" names. Triscuit is the only anomaly here, but that's probably because Newcomb liked Tristan as a name.
Gimpy sacrificed his daughter instead of trying to rescue her. Why? Because it would have been an "Egregious waste of time and energy". Hai. I've just lost all sympathy for you. In fact when they send him a ransom note he sends it back saying, they could kill her if they chose, but he's not going to help them. Might I remind you that his daughter was FIVE years old at the time. FIVE. There's no way for her to escape and he just might as well killed her himself. A child. And it was because it was an "egregious waste of time and energy".
And then he transitions easily to but we have to fix the forest that isn't a forest.
We learn that Gimpy was captured when he went back to the cave of blood water to look for more stuff and four Sorceresses captured him recognizing that he was wearing a wizard's robe. Well that was intelligent. It's like painting a great big target on your back. They brought him to Failee and tied him up in a chair. They brought Emily before him and said tell us or we'll kill her. And he spits in her face. And even AFTER he believes she's been killed he's not sad, they only break him after torturing him. They used the same sort of torture that they used on Sister. Which apparently no one, not even someone "whose blood is as pure as mine" can resist. Because blood purity has EVERYTHING to do with how you withstand torture. The torture method they used was from the tomb of the Vagaries... which they wanted him to tell them what was in it.
This makes no sense. They've never seen the book, but they know methods from the book to get the information they want about the book.
Moving on.
Gimpy tells them that they're torturing Sister in the same way they tortured him. Triscuit, understandably gets upset and tries to hurt Gimpy when Earwig says, "This must be done his way. He has all the answers, and so far we have no reason not to believe him." I like how they just automatically believe his story after all these years of thinking he's a traitor. I mean the least they could do is find some way to make sure he's telling the truth or something. How does he even know this information? Unless he were a traitor and a spy. He tells them that he knows that sister is across the ocean and that he knows that the Coven is planning to do a Big Magic which is why they need five of them. Again how does he know this?
Remember Dwarf? He's the one Dwarf sent the pigeon too. He managed to get in contact with Dwarf by sending random pigeons with notes on them and he believes that Dwarf is telling him the truth. And then we learn that he KNEW about the attacks before hand. And what does he do? Nothing. He didn't even send a pigeon to warm the wizards which would have saved Hundreds of Thousands of lives. No one calls him on this. They just move along as if they were discussing flowers.
And this is a kicker here:
"An unknown country across the sea, butterflies that can spell, a supposedly disloyal slave who sends you notes tied to birds, your life here in the trees among the gnomes, and your story of 'dream' torture at the hands of the Coven. All very interesting." the obviously skeptical Lead Wizard continued to examine the wine as the glass twirled slowly between his finger tips. "There is, however, the greater remaining question. The one you still have to answer."
Tristan leaned forward intently, waiting.
"Exactly why did they take Shailiha?" Wigg finally asked. He returned his gaze to Faegan. "Why do they need her to be their fifth sorceress?"
Hai. You just asked him all these questions about his past and motivations and you don't ask him why he didn't contact the Wizards about the attack or even reveal himself after the Coven was defeated? Nope. We have no good reason to trust you and we're going to listen and believe everything you say and not go on about why you kept yourself hidden for all these years. Nope. Just what do you think they're going to do (and we're not going to question how you know this)..
They are going to do the... Blood Communion. Bum bum BUUUUUUMMM!!
Short infodump about exactly what they're going to do. And then we finally learn why we have to stop the Evil Sorceresses."The Reckoning," he said simply. "It immediately and irrevocably follows the Blood Communion. It is the supreme, undeniable control of all things -people, creatures of the land, sea, and sky; even the weather. But Eutracia and Parthalon will no longer exist as we know them now but as mere possessions of the Coven, populated by mindless wandering slaves who were once citizens of the those lands."
Okay, so first of all we're three fourths through the book at this point. Three Fourths. It would have been nice to have known this earlier. Second of all, if Gimpy knew about this WHY DIDN'T HE TELL ANYONE ABOUT IT!! Clearly this is a BAD THING and yet he did NOTHING. Not a SINGLE DAMN THING EXCEPT SIT AROUND IN HIS TREEHOUSE AND PLAY THE VIOLIN!!!
And they're trusting him why again?
And these are the good guys why again?
Telling use that someone is good doesn't really help when all the person's actions point to him being evil. At least with the Sorceresses we have no contradictory feelings because we know they're evil and they act evil.
Okay. That's enough stupidity for one day.
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no subject
Date: 2007-12-25 05:42 pm (UTC)