Okay, this is admittedly a dull one.

[kippurbird]

Ahh... we're a little over half way through. Yes. Good vibes my pigeons, good vibes. However, as the book keeps on downhill... we all maybe cat food at the end.

We're back with Sludge. He's unhappy because he hasn't killed Triscuit yet. And he thinks that once he kills Triscuit Sushi will be his. (All those who believe that go and get your heads examined, I think the book is getting to you.) As he's thinking this, he's busy killing his own men. You see, since the people of the land that they live in has/had no standing army so they didn't know the science of war and so the Minions had no one to practice fighting against. Becuase not having a standing army means you don't know how to fight. So every once in a while they'll fight each other to the death. Literally, to the death. Because, you know mock battles are so cowardly... or something. I'm not really certain why you need realistic training to the death either. It's not even a good idea. Sludge, in his brilliance, fights one on one with the strongest of his warriors and then kills them. Which would then leave only the weakest around to do your battling.

But they think it's a good idea because it weeds out the weaker minions. Even though sometimes some are so badly damaged that they can't fight any more.

So, Sludge kills and then Sushi shows up. He gets horny. Sushi wants to talk to him privately, but not like that. Sludge wants to know if it's okay that dwarf is listening in. Which is utterly ridiculous for him to say because Dwarf has been with her like a shadow going everywhere and has heard everything she talks about practically, so there's no reason for Sludge to distrust him. BUT since this is being pointed out in such an obvious manner, we know that Dwarf is going to betray them.

Sushi wants Sludge to double the guard around their compound because she thinks there's going to be an attack. She's taking precautions that the others don't know about. She says that he may get his chance to kill the Chosen One but not until AFTER he's brought to her. Oh! And we get dire proclamation number 5 from Sludge, "I shall kill you in front of the second mistress, endowed blood or not,m and prove to her which of us is the better man."

Sludge gets an update on the days fighting from Traax. Four hundred and fifty wounded, two hundred which are permanently disabled. Which is an acceptable loss. Then there's going to be a Kachinnar which is a warrior's vigil. I think. Mm...

Kludge glared intently into Traax's eyes with a ferocity that was more feigned than real, designed to make sure that clear flashing master/slave signals passed between them just the same.

So, the thingy apparently involves a Minion who hesitated in killing a friend. Because building strong bonds between warriors is a bad thing. You know, it'll avoid things like watching each other's backs and teamwork.

Long boring description of where the Minions live, a place of relative comfort and wealth. Apparently the only females around are whores who live in brothels. Which is rather silly, because if their women are only around to be brood mares then they wouldn't be whores cause they're not getting paid. And I'm wondering why taking "mates" is a bad thing as well... but I'm trying to put logic here when obviously all that's important is to show that these Minions are great and their women are worthless whores.

We go into the Hall of Heroes which sounds like something from the Super-Friends cartoon where there's a full blown orgy going on. Men screw women right on the floor or the table while others cheer them on and they eat and drink and fuck. This would go on all night apparently except there's going to be a Kachinaar. It's a sort of trial where it doesn't matter if they've actually committed a crime just that they've been accused. No... wait... they do something to the guy and if he survives he's innocent and if he doesn't he's guilty.

Kinda like those witch trial things. If she drowns she's innocent and if she floats she's a witch and they burn her. WOO!

What happens is the charged party is hung upside down by two ropes. Five minions are blindfolded and they throw their Xena Chakrums at the ropes. If all the ropes are cut the minion falls to a horrible death to be eaten by wolves. If they're not, then he's innocent.

Once this is done (the guy falling horribly to his death) Sludge fucks a girl who reminds him of Sushi on the tables.

We skip over to Sister now, who's afraid to sleep. She had a memory of Triscuit and Earwig so she gets to spend a night in the Nightmare room having bloody boils all over her. She then starts to blame the people in her visions as being the cause of all this mayhem.

"There is no cause to worry

Comments

[smurasaki.livejournal.com]

Damn. The Minions have succumbed to the power of the stupid. There's no one worth rooting for in this entire book. I'm pretty sure that's a fatal flaw in a manuscript.

Can we do the trial thingy with Newcomb? Only with him blindfolded instead of us?

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

The manuscript itself is a fatal flaw.

Can we do the trial thingy with Newcomb? Only with him blindfolded instead of us?

I'd like that. =D

[guardians-song.livejournal.com]

No... wait... they do something to the guy and if he survives he's innocent and if he doesn't he's guilty.

Well, that's better than the witch trial, isn't it? Even if it's sheer luck, at least the lucky ones get to live. XD

We go into the Hall of Heroes which sounds like something from the Super-Friends cartoon where there's a full blown orgy going on. Men screw women right on the floor or the table while others cheer them on and they eat and drink and fuck.

Do you realize what juxtaposition you created there? The image of a full-blown orgy in a Super-Friends cartoon blows my mind. Especially since I was really a fan when I was six to about, say, nine years old. XD

So, the thingy apparently involves a Minion who hesitated in killing a friend. Because building strong bonds between warriors is a bad thing. You know, it'll avoid things like watching each other's backs and teamwork.

Actually, there's sort of a precedent. German soldiers at some academy or other back in the Nazi days were given a German Shepherd to raise while they were training there, and they were really supposed to get attached to the thing, and they held racing competitions and everything... and then, as their final graduation test, they had to kill the poor doggie. If they did, it showed that they were willing to do anything if ordered, and so it ensured that they were loyal soldiers. D: Poor doggies. *likes dogs, especially big fluffy strong ones like German Shepherds*

[the-norseman.livejournal.com]

I'm fairly sure that's a myth invented by the Allied propaganda machine. I've found no serious proof of this back when I researched the SS. There's also the fact that Hitler was very fond of dogs, and Nazi Germany passed the first laws against animal vivisection.

If you ask "does this mean that Nazi Germany treated animals better than many humans," the answer is yes.

[christinaathena.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I rather suspect you're right about it being a myth. Hitler was very much against cruelty to animals. A shame he couldn't've extended that empathy to humans ...

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Do you realize what juxtaposition you created there? The image of a full-blown orgy in a Super-Friends cartoon blows my mind. Especially since I was really a fan when I was six to about, say, nine years old. XD

MWAHHAA... My work here is done! >:D

[guardians-song.livejournal.com]

EVIL PERSON! EVIL! *attacks with chakrams while blindfolded*

...Well, crud, there went MY limbs. XD

[wariena.livejournal.com]

Wow. What total bull. Seriously. This goes beyond fucked up. Maybe I'm just naive but I didn't realise that sex was the number one priority in life, 'cause that's all Newcomb seems to write about. o__o

Still, if the Minions keep killing each other at this rate, Triscuit and Earwig won't have anything to worry about. Not that they did before, I mean- he IS the Chosen One after all. He could probably fart flames and kill them all or something. *eyeroll*

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Of course sex is. Talk to any teenage boy and he'll tell you that sex is.

He could probably fart flames and kill them all or something. *eyeroll*

That'd be funny.

[dove-cg.livejournal.com]

Did the entry get cut off part way?

Ah well. Yeah... there is no one to cheer for, as Smurasaki said. There is no one.

I have no hope for humanity because this man was published. :(

I also think the fact you, of all people, are being constantly confused by this book goes to show another fatal flaw. If people trained for literary criticism are perplexed, there is way too much of something missing in the narrative.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Whu...? Oh, no. That's from something else that some how ended up there. Geeze... >>

If people trained for literary criticism are perplexed, there is way too much of something missing in the narrative.

Or it's just really, really, really, high end literature. =D

[the-norseman.livejournal.com]

I think I showed Kippur some really high end literature, she was literally dumbstruck :-D

[dove-cg.livejournal.com]

If this is high end literature, I think Newcomb should be added to the curriculum, any curriculum >:)

[guardians-song.livejournal.com]

Hey, Spirit Bear was!

...This thing needs to be more preachy, though. I get it! It needs to have in big bold letters on the back "WOMEN ARE EVIL!" Then, it's a PERFECT morality book! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDD

...I hate people. Everyone thinks everyone else is such an idiot. *sigh*

[karma-kalisutah.livejournal.com]

Between the Hall of Heroes, the blade-throwing trial, the pit of wolves, and the general stupidity, I am reminded of the movie Vikings.

I wonder if eavh of Newcomb's cultures was inspired by an awful movie. That would explain quite a bit.

[the-norseman.livejournal.com]

If he was inspired by a movie I think that the likely culprit is Caligula. In fact I think ALL of Newcomb's "cultures" was inspired by it.

[last-servant.livejournal.com]

Triscuit/Fredrick OTP!!!

Trissie's already acting like he's god, literally threatening the figurative little prople with death if he doesn't comply.


Sound's like Caligula to me.

[(Anonymous)]

“Long boring description of where the Minions live, a place of relative comfort and wealth. Apparently the only females around are whores who live in brothels.”

And to think we laughed at Paolini for having dancing naked elf girls. There's such a sexist theme in this that's its not even funny. Don't any women's rights groups know about this book? Maybe we should tell them for a laugh.

-NK

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Well, it's fantasy so it doesn't really matter.

[last-servant.livejournal.com]

I look at the Minions, and keep thinking of GRRM's eunch soldier's and how you don't need sex to be badass.

Something Newcomb has yet to learn.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

But Sex is an obviously important part of life! Everyone needs to do it all the time! It shows how strong and manly you are.

[christinaathena.livejournal.com]

I'm not really certain why you need realistic training to the death either. It's not even a good idea. Wow ... no kidding. Way to reduce your army! GREAT STRATEGY!!

Even as punishment for cowardice, the Romans only killed 1/10 of a century. And that was punishment, not training!

And I'm wondering why taking "mates" is a bad thing as well Well ... a family can be a burden to a soldier. The Romans, for example, forbade their soldiers from marrying (although that regulation was frequently ignored)

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Well ... a family can be a burden to a soldier. The Romans, for example, forbade their soldiers from marrying (although that regulation was frequently ignored)

The women take care of the children and that's all they do. Except when they're having sex or serving the men.

[christinaathena.livejournal.com]

Mmm ... good point. I keep trying to apply Earth logic. :-(

[kunolacarai.livejournal.com]

These sporkings have been quite interesting, so far. To be honest with you, one of the main "Big Bads" in a story I've been writing is the type of person a fantasy hero like Tristan or Eragon would be like if they existed. In other words, he's arrogant, violent, sociopathic, misogynistic, possibly racist, and definitely unpleasant.

On the topic of this chapter, I would imagine there are several reasons why one go into details on a fictional culture. The best reason is to make the world one is creating more "real" in the minds of the readers. It appears that the purpose of this passage is to make sure the readers know that one of the cultures is "evil".

Also, I can only think of a few fictional armies where killing one's fellow foot-soldiers in training is expected. The first was Hidden Rain Village from Naruto. Students were told to kill each other, even their best friends, as a sign of loyalty to the village, in order to become ninjas. The village dropped the test after one year, a certain over-achiever named Zabusa killed the entire class. He wasn't very loyal, either.

[guardians-song.livejournal.com]

Don't forget "perfectionist". Which is a good thing, but is often used to mean "utter asshole who insists that everyone lives according to THEIR standards, which don't actually apply to them". ...Sorry. XD

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

On the topic of this chapter, I would imagine there are several reasons why one go into details on a fictional culture. The best reason is to make the world one is creating more "real" in the minds of the readers. It appears that the purpose of this passage is to make sure the readers know that one of the cultures is "evil".

Yes, but we already KNOW they're evil. This is the only thing we've been shown that they are. EVIL.

[gjohnsonkoehn.livejournal.com]

What happens is the charged party is hung upside down by two ropes. Five minions are blindfolded and they throw their Xena Chakrums at the ropes. If all the ropes are cut the minion falls to a horrible death to be eaten by wolves. If they're not, then he's innocent.

And, like naming the dorse 'Pilgrim', here we have another artifact that makes absolutely no sense in a religion-less world. When the Christians had their ridiculous witch trials, the idea, at least in theory, was that God would separate out the guilty and the innocent. Without that rather crucial supernatural aspect, however, all you get are the Minions, deciding guilt or innocence based, essentially, on the roll of a dice or the flip of a coin.

Long boring description of where the Minions live, a place of relative comfort and wealth.

Um, what? I'm trying to picture the Jem'hadar or the G1 Predacons or 40K's Orks, or any other 'race' bred essentially for unending combat, having even the slightest interest in 'a place of relative comfort and wealth'. What the hell would they do with it?

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Without that rather crucial supernatural aspect, however, all you get are the Minions, deciding guilt or innocence based, essentially, on the roll of a dice or the flip of a coin.

Yes, but it makes all the minions fall in line.

Um, what? I'm trying to picture the Jem'hadar or the G1 Predacons or 40K's Orks, or any other 'race' bred essentially for unending combat, having even the slightest interest in 'a place of relative comfort and wealth'. What the hell would they do with it?

It keeps them in line and not attack the Coven.