kippurbird | Even more things I'm still not allowed to do at work.

Even more things I'm not allowed to do at work.

Lurk

Especially not in the shadows

Or behind bushes

Trees

The stacks

If upon disobeying the lurking rule I am not allowed to jump out and scream "Surprise!"

"Want to buy some watches"

Flash someone.

Cackle evilly if someone walks by.

I am not Batman

Or Batwoman

Or Batgirl

I am not any member of the Bat Family.

Just because I have a Green Lantern's ring doesn't mean I'm a Green Lantern

Even if I wear my Green Lantern T-Shirt.

I do not need to roll a skill check to see if I can check in periodicals.

Or roll a strength check to see if I can pick up a mail bin

Or any other sort of check

Work is not a dungeon.

There are no dragons.

Or Orcs

Goblins

Vampires

Or any sort of monsters

I am not a fifteenth level rogue.

I cannot magic missile the darkness

Or attack the sculptures with my ax.

There is no Gazebo.

I can not smite the evil bitch from hell.

Boredom is still not an excuse.

No really.

Just because people think my cookies are addictive doesn't mean I actually need to put pot in them.

In fact, I must remember that I don't even know how to find pot

And that it's illegal.

I will not see how many balloons it takes me to fly

I will not hang glide off the roof of the building.

The Batcave is not in the stacks.

There is no batmobile in the parking lot

I do not own a batmobile, I own a Saturn

Tarot cards are not an appropriate way to see how much work I can get done.

I will not use Tarot cards in front of people and then look at them shaking my head like I know something

Tarot cards are not allowed at work.

I do not have a TARDIS

I am not the Doctor in his eleventh regeneration

I am not the Master either

Or the Rani

I am not a Time Lord

Really.

While I have the One Ring I will not go around whispering "my Preecsious" while wearing it.

Or pretend like I'm invisible while wearing it.

I do not need to throw it in the fiery pits of Mount Doom

The kitchen is not Mount Doom

Neither is the Chemistry lab

I cannot turn invisible

I do not have telekiniesis

I can not get everyone to do a dance number while singing

This is not a musical

Or a Disney movie

I cannot randomly jump back in time.

I am not the Intersect

No one is following me.

I am not paranoid

I will not pretend to be paranoid.

I will walk, not skip

There is not a secret society that meets every Thursday in Ross Plaza

There is no Conspiracy

You do not need a secret hand shake to check out books

The rare book room does not contain Disney's brain

Or aliens

I do not need to call Fox Mulder about this.

I may own a lightsaber but I am not allowed to challenge people with it

Or say " X" There is something I must tell you. I am your father.

I am not a Sith Lord

I am not a Jedi

I may not bring the lightsaber to work.

Even for Halloween

Or Purim

While on the subject of swords, I may not bring my LARP sword to work

Even if it's made out of foam

I am not a level twenty fighter

The miniatures on my computer do not come alive at night.

Neither does the hedgehog

I will not tell people that they do.

I will not cackle madly while screaming "It's ALIVE ALIVE!!!"

There will be no mad cackling at all

I will not bring a super-soaker to work.

This is a library. Books and water do not mix.

I will keep a copy of this list on me at all times

Including the previous ones

Ignorance is not an excuse

S	M	T	W	T	F	S
	1	2	3	4	5	6
7	8	9	10	11	12	13
14	15	16	17	18	19	20
21	22	23	24	25	26	27
28	29

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comic con - 13 uses
crack - 82 uses
d&d - 28 uses
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drawings - 25 uses
egg - 257 uses
eldest - 54 uses
eragon - 94 uses
essay - 49 uses
essays - 21 uses
family - 26 uses
fan brats - 17 uses
fan fic - 43 uses
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fifth - 41 uses
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kitty - 14 uses
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meme - 50 uses
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real life - 143 uses
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twilight - 54 uses
work - 50 uses
writing - 86 uses

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

pandoras-closet.livejournal.com

Are you even allowed to have an ax at work?

kippurbird.livejournal.com

>.>

Nooo?

<.

smurasaki.livejournal.com

Aw. Does "X" mark the spot, at least?

dergerm.livejournal.com

You're wrong, Kips. There is a conspiracy. Everyone is out to get you. Mum's the word, though.

*rubs nose knowingly*

*Suspicious*

KIppur, are you keeping an ax at work?

the-norseman.livejournal.com

I'm sure she has a perfectly legitimate reason, it's like the time I had to take fifteen minutes off from work to go buy an axe.

Hmmm . . . Was the axe for Kippur?

No?

*shifty eyed*

No. X does not mark the spot.

*Sigh* You know, we've talked about this. Using axes at work stains the carpet and makes the nice policemen all flustered and cranky.

But they're FUN! And scare people!

And if people are scared away then there's no work for Kippur which means no buying shiny things on Amazon.

Oh.

You mean you're not going to buy me shiny things on Amazon?

Doesn't look likely.

Well, phooey. What kind of boring library do you work in, anyway?

(Though, this does remind me that I really should return my overdue library books before the local librarians hire Kippur to axe me. *sweatdrop*)

Poo.

Poo indeed

reverie-shadow.livejournal.com

It does....

...unless if you know how to cover your "tracks" properly.

*Evil grin.*

No it was for myself. For some reason they got very nervous, can't see why. Now where's that human skull I'm giving one of them for Christmas?

Eh, don't worry about it. People are weird.

Unless being the operative word there.

madamsnape.livejournal.com

*snort* you could be a jedi... its a recognised religion - well, at least it is in the UK

Fine then. See if I ever talk to you again. XD

Not a very fun one. :P

NUUUUEEE...!

My mother would have a heart attack if I did. And I have no real desire to convert, Jedi don't have any holidays.

yet ;p

dracorn-adagio.livejournal.com

They do! There's just a Conspiracy to hide it!

Awwwww...

But I bought you stuff at Amazon! :)

See I'm nice.

byakuganchick.livejournal.com

"I am not the Intersect" made me choke on an eggroll. I love it.

Chuck has really suprised me. It's light, it's cute, it's fun and it's a nice lead in to Heroes where Mo spends his time doing stupid stuff and getting people killed.

I am completely enjoying Chuck. It is a good lead into Heroes where we get to watch Mo be all stupid. And Sylar all annoying. >

Sylar needs to go back to pretending to be good. He does "Boy, there's something not quite right with you." so well.

Sylar needs to go away for a bit. So that he'll be more scary.

Edited Date: 2007-12-06 05:53 pm (UTC)

He is. Zach Quinto is off to film Star Trek now. I don't think he's coming back until the end of Vol. 3.

And every time I see that icon, it takes me FOREVER to realize that's Mo pinned to the ceiling.

Writings of a deranged Autistic Novelist

Even more things I'm still not allowed to do at work.

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