kippurbird: (Ew)
[personal profile] kippurbird
I'm having a fuck you day. Unfortunately I can't indulge in it. Except in little ways.

---

So far, it looks like dad's coming home today. *crosses fingers*

---

I went to Target with my mom on Thursday. (But Thursday was four days ago! Why are you mentioning this now? Distracting weekend) I started looking briefly at Jackets in the men's section. My mom sees this and says that I should look in the woman's section. I say, there aren't any jackets in the woman's section I like. She goes, "How do you know?" I wanted to say to her because I'm a guy and I don't like woman's clothing.

But that's not really something you say in Target.

Haven't gotten around to telling her that yet. Dad takes priority.

---

I played D&D yesterday. Maybe it's just been my mood lately, but I just got really annoyed. One of our players is... an (according to the Dungeon Master's Handbook II) outlier. Which means that he goes off on random tangents and bounces all over the place with ridiculous things. For example, our party is going to Xendrick. Davros (the Outlier's PC)decided that he's going to put together a secondary expeditionary expedition which will follow our main expedition. And he gets all excited and making plans and things like that and the DM indulges him. Also he is always saying that he's going to roll for things like if he enjoyed his breakfast or not. Which interrupts the game play for the rest of us, because he's busy off in his own little world. (last night he was busy getting seduced by three elf sisters) And he never seems to pay attention to what any one else says. Or at least he twists it. He got an aberrant dragon mark. One of our other players plays a PC, Salis, from one of the dragon marked houses. Since he has a dragon mark he started saying that he and Salis were siblings. And no matter what he won't listen to us telling him any different. No one wants anything to do with him. My character wants to kill him and be done with it. Unfortunately the DM is so busy indulging Davros that I rarely get a chance to do anything.

I need to figure out something to do.

Date: 2007-10-29 06:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] christinaathena.livejournal.com
I wanted to say to her because I'm a guy and I don't like woman's clothing. Are you saying you're trans? When'd you realize that? Did I miss something on your LJ?

(last night he was busy getting seduced by three elf sisters) Lucky him.

Date: 2007-10-29 06:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kippurbird.livejournal.com
Are you saying you're trans? When'd you realize that? Did I miss something on your LJ?


Yes. Always sort of knew it in the back of my mind, but didn't realize it until about... a month ago when I was flipping through the DSM-IVR while waiting for my shrink to write a letter to my work. Yes, you did. Is under "sexuality" tag.

Date: 2007-10-29 07:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] christinaathena.livejournal.com
Ah, that was when I was on vacation. That's why I missed it.

I've felt similar things myself at times. As a kid, that's probably why I tended to react so strongly against anything that struck of femininity, denial as it were.

Overall, though, I've never felt much of a connection with my body enough to care much about it being "wrong".

That, and I'm not sure how much is truely gender uncertainty and how much is just projection of psychology on body.

Are you planning to go through hormone treatment and the like?

Date: 2007-10-29 07:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kippurbird.livejournal.com
Yes, it was while you were on vacation. =D

I don't know if I am or not. I haven't thought that far in advance.

Date: 2007-10-30 12:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] christinaathena.livejournal.com
Darn it, why do people have to go have big revelations when I'm not around? ;-)

Date: 2007-10-29 06:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] authoressarktos.livejournal.com
Which interrupts the game play for the rest of us, because he's busy off in his own little world. (last night he was busy getting seduced by three elf sisters) And he never seems to pay attention to what any one else says. Or at least he twists it. He got an aberrant dragon mark. One of our other players plays a PC, Salis, from one of the dragon marked houses. Since he has a dragon mark he started saying that he and Salis were siblings.

Eragon. 'Nuff said. My sympathy with your bad day, hope your Dad comes home :(

Date: 2007-10-29 06:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kippurbird.livejournal.com
Except that he's a gimpy sculpture and has no fighting skills worth speaking of.

Date: 2007-10-29 07:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] authoressarktos.livejournal.com
Ahh, but he's God-modding, so it still counts! XP

Date: 2007-10-29 07:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kippurbird.livejournal.com
Or god annoying. XD Which still counts.

Date: 2007-10-30 04:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kippurbird.livejournal.com
I magic missile the darkness!

(He does roll the dice to see if he's getting drunk)

Date: 2007-10-29 07:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] guardians-song.livejournal.com
Oh, don't worry. Give him a copy of Eragon, and soon enough he'll have learned to read and write in a week, and will be composing epic poetry. Besides, in his head, he's probably all powerful...

Say, is there a D&D equivalent of Saint Mungo's?

And if there isn't, could you convince the DM to include one in the next area you guys pass through? XD

Date: 2007-10-29 07:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kippurbird.livejournal.com
Oh, don't worry. Give him a copy of Eragon, and soon enough he'll have learned to read and write in a week, and will be composing epic poetry. Besides, in his head, he's probably all powerful...

He does that already. *sigh*

Say, is there a D&D equivalent of Saint Mungo's?

I imagine there is. However we're soon going to be adventuring into the wilds Xendrick where few have tread before and come back alive. I'm hoping he's one of the ones that don't make it back. >:D

Date: 2007-10-29 07:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] reverie-shadow.livejournal.com
Tah! I love what you "would have" said to your mother. And I agree, looking for clothing in the women's section in stores anymore is like shopping through a bondage store--you only wear some of it if you're a freaking masochist.

Date: 2007-10-29 07:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kippurbird.livejournal.com
Being in the middle of Target is so annoying sometimes. XD

I know! And there's never anything in my size. It's all for people like... size six and smaller.

*random* Do you know what really irks me, now that I think about it. I watched the Devil Wears Parada. The main character was a size six and apparently this was "Fat".

Date: 2007-10-30 12:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] christinaathena.livejournal.com
There was this ad for some weight-loss pill, and honestly, I thought the "before" looked better than the "after"! She had nicer curves. :-/

Date: 2007-10-30 02:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] reverie-shadow.livejournal.com
Wow. If a size six is fat, then I must be a cow!

Date: 2007-10-30 05:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brightrosefox.livejournal.com
Unfortunately in the world of fashion, size six is considered "large" in many folks' minds (my mother worked as a designer and illustrator in the 60s and 70s and it still hasn't changed much.

Something that really pisses me off: A friend of mine is my height, my size (4'11", size 4) and is a recovered anorexic like me (we both used to weigh around 82 pounds). She was clothes shopping with her mother one day, and the mother made a comment that she had gotten "fat" (because, see, she was no longer dangerously skeletal). Yeah, this woman decided that a size four is fat.
Gods, I want to punch people like that so hard.

Date: 2007-10-30 05:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brightrosefox.livejournal.com
I don't kid when I say that many people high-up in the industry see the models as nothing more than clothes hangers. Mom once told me a story about how this one modeling agent once was shrieking -- shrieking -- because one young model, who stood at 5'10", had 37 inch hips. The woman was shouting that the girl needed to "lose weight fast" and that her hips were "massive" and "nobody who models runways has fucking 37 inch hips!"
Needless to say, I think her supervisors actually fired her for that remark, and the model almost quit.

And my mom wonders why I'm not really into fashion. "They're clothes, Mom. I just wear them. As long as I like the colors and the fabric is comfy, I don't really care."

Date: 2007-10-30 05:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kippurbird.livejournal.com
I agree with you. Yes.

Date: 2007-10-29 08:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brightrosefox.livejournal.com
Well, I assumed you were a boy as soon as I started reading your posts, if that's anything. I was genuinely surprised to find out that you're biologically female. You sound happy being male, even if the body doesn't feel right (and one day that can be taken care of) and therefore it's all good. :)

Date: 2007-10-29 09:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kippurbird.livejournal.com
Out of curiosity, what about my posts made you think I was male?

I rather like being male (despite the body problems) as I've always wanted to be male... because I was one... hrm...

Date: 2007-10-29 10:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brightrosefox.livejournal.com
I'm not sure. It was just a sense. I guess an intuition. It wasn't as if your posts sounded male or female, I just felt like I was reading posts written by a man.

Date: 2007-10-30 05:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brightrosefox.livejournal.com
See, that icon looks like a young guy to me, even though I know it's you. If I didn't know otherwise, I'd just keep thinking you were male no matter what.

Date: 2007-10-30 05:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kippurbird.livejournal.com
I can see that.

Date: 2007-10-30 09:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] millenium-king.livejournal.com
1) What's the big deal? Kill the "outlier."

2) Sounds like your GM sucks. Get a new one. Why don't you do it?

3) Sorry to rain on your parade, but I am a guy and I never for one instant thought you were male judging by your posts.

Date: 2007-10-31 01:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kippurbird.livejournal.com
1. Planning on it.

2. He's not so bad.. .most of the time. And I do enjoy socializing with the other players.

3. I think that's more of an individual thing more than anything else, after all I've never understood how you can tell someone's gender by their writing, most of the time. Admittedly there are some topics and ways of writing that may easily indicate a person's gender through stereotypes, but other than that, on more... benign topics, I don't think there really is. After all look at some of the female authors out there who have used male pen names to such great effect that people didn't believe that they were female and vice-versa. If you think my posts sound female, then that's fine. I'll even ask you what makes them sound female as opposed to male. But I personally think it's interesting either way on why people make the gender identifications.

Date: 2007-10-31 03:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] millenium-king.livejournal.com
It's really more the subject of your posts that sound gendered.

Also, the dynamic of your characters in your writings (at least of what little I have read!) comes across as being written by a female author.

Finally, I still don't get it - you're the storyteller! You GM! I always did.

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