a second public apology.

[kippurbird]

Public apology:

In my previous post, I stated that only people with the intelligences of gerbils would consider the general population of people who talk about fan fiction (the website) intelligent conversation. I meant no offense to the gerbil community or those that care about them and instead would like to submit, "the intelligence of the contents of my cat's litterbox" as a substitute.

However this substitute was also deemed offensive to those who have to deal with their cat's litter boxes. As a third alternative we would like to submit, "The thing Christopher Paolini calls a brain".

Comments

[dergerm.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but... Christopher Paolini is actually a myth. I finally figured it out using extensive and highly complicated mathematical brain smarts that I can't show you 'cause it'll make your eyes burst.

In other words, the lack of credibility in this post is offensive to me.

[indescane.livejournal.com]

Or do you mean, 'Christopher Paolini's so-called brain is a myth'?

[dergerm.livejournal.com]

Nono, Christopher Paolini himself is a myth created by Santa Claus and the number 42. It all makes sense on paper.

[yetanotherbob.livejournal.com]

Christopher Paolini is a conspiracy of the highest order by Santa Claus and the number 42. The proof has been surpressed, but if you Atbash cypher "Christopher Paolini", it comes out POTRZEBIE, which, as everyone knows, is ancient swahili for the Goddess's son in law.

Now, the son in law symbolizes light, because son = sun, and therefore, also color. Now, the color that most law enforcement uniforms is brown. Therefore, Christopher Paolini was the ancient sex rite code word for Dan Brown. My grandfather said so.

[karma-kalisutah.livejournal.com]

ILU.

[berseker.livejournal.com]

*GASP*

You should totally warn the media. And run, because now the Lesbian Elves will send an albino after you.

After the sex rite, of course.

[karma-kalisutah.livejournal.com]

...

I just realized. Sex rites ARE the link between the Bricks and TDC.

THERE IS A CONSPIRACY!

[christinaathena.livejournal.com]

I dunno. Now I think you're insulting the good folks at The Fan Fiction Website

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

But there is no fan fiction websites! Only sites with fan fiction on them!

[oceans-heart.livejournal.com]

Now I hope you've learned your lesson. Those poor litter boxes!

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Yes'm I'm sorry.

[kunolacarai.livejournal.com]

Have you heard any conversations like this?
"Have you heard about what [politician] has been doing? I mean, that much money for fill dirt? That guys a rat!"
"Hey, don't call him a rat! I've got several as pets!"

... Sorry, dumb joke.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Heh.

[papier.livejournal.com]

Funny, I'm currently listening to Eldest on my ipod and in the beginning Paolini left a voice message saying, among other things, 'may your swords always be sharp'. Umm? Isn't that...dangerous?
It's all awful, but strangely enough I feel comforted listening to it. I like the reader's voice and the familiar fantasy tropes make me feel homely.

[karma-kalisutah.livejournal.com]

For the record, homely = physically unattractive.

You may want to pick another word there.

[the-norseman.livejournal.com]

It depends on whether your British or American, just like fag has two entirely different meanings depending on what side of the pond you're on.

[papier.livejournal.com]

In England homely generally means 'surrounded by simple comforts'. I'm aware of the other meaning, thanks very much.

[andy-longwood.livejournal.com]

But my sword is a Tai Chi sword which I keep dull specifically so that I won't hurt myself if I happen to slash myself while trying to work my way up from n00bishness. Is Paolini bemoaning the fact that I take safety precautions? Does he want me to hurt myself? What did I ever do to him? ;_;