Crack at the office

[kippurbird]

Going through the mail at work today. Got a buy us letter from Midnight Call Magazine. What is Midnight Call Magazine, you may ask?

According to the Literature it is "The Prophetic Voice for the Endtimes".

Recent topics addressed include:

*Will Iran build a nuclear bomb?
*What's really behind the Mark of the Beast
*Is Israel headed for another war with the Arabs?
*When will the War in Iraq end?
*Can we identify the coming Antichrist?
*Is there a New Age plan for the U.S.A.?
*How will the oil crisis effect us?
*Will Religious freedom be curtailed?
*Is the new Europe really the Old Roman Empire?
*Does the Vatican play a role in prophecy?
*Can, and will, Israel rebuild the temple in Jerusalem?
*Is communism finally dead?

And from the letter to "Dear Christian Friend"

And Speaking of communism, the cover of our first U.S. Edition of Midnight Call read, "Communism Doomed To Fail!" That was way back in 1967 when communism was marching forward, closing off each conquered country with an iron curtain.

So, how did we know about the fall of Soviet communism? Because the Bible says: "...all that dwell upon the earth shall worship him" (Revelation 13:8)That means a system void of religious freedom had no future, which is why were were able to confidently write that headline

Fun, yes?
Who wants to subscribe?

Comments

[thelittlebudgie.livejournal.com]

"Is communism finally dead?"
To judge from Cuba... nope.

"Is the new Europe really the Old Roman Empire?"
*blink* You know, I think I'd buy it to find out what convoluted logic suggested it might be.

And anyway, we don't need to worry about the Antichrist. Pratchett and Gaiman already told us that everything was going to turn out ok.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

"Is the new Europe really the Old Roman Empire?"
*blink* You know, I think I'd buy it to find out what convoluted logic suggested it might be.

I don't even know what that's supposed to mean.

And anyway, we don't need to worry about the Antichrist. Pratchett and Gaiman already told us that everything was going to turn out ok.

Yup! Silly people. They should read Good Omens and see that.

[christinaathena.livejournal.com]

I suppose it means that the European Union is somehow similar to the Roman Empire? Because, um ... they both occupy similar territory and, uh ... have a single currency and, uh .... stuff.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Oh sure. That makes perfect sense. Yes.

[christinaathena.livejournal.com]

So, how did we know about the fall of Soviet communism? For the same reason the Krushchev "knew" that capitalism was bound to fail? He just happened to be wrong is all. :-)

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

You mean the bible isn't always right?! *GASP*

[christinaathena.livejournal.com]

Yes, it is occassionally mistaken!

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

INFIDEL!

[dergerm.livejournal.com]

I'm less concerned by the generic Christian know-it-all'ness, and moreso with the fact that you REPRODUCED IT!

*STARE*

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Dude, it's all from the stuff they sent me. And I just had to share it.

[wariena.livejournal.com]

*splorf* Wow. Just... wow. That's just too funny for words. Guilty of severe batshittery but definitely funny.

Y'know, I wouldn't be surprised if this is where Dan Brown got all his crack- er, research from. Yeah. Research.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

It seemed so serious too!

Y'know, I wouldn't be surprised if this is where Dan Brown got all his crack- er, research from. Yeah. Research.

Naaaah... there wasn't a single hint of sex in the entire literature.

[jacedraccus.livejournal.com]

I'd subscribe, but I enjoy what little sanity I have too much.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Sanity is over rated. :D

[jacedraccus.livejournal.com]

Well, yes, but I'd like to hold onto what little I have remaining. I keep it in a jar for special occasions.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

WTF with a side of McFuck.

I would subscribe to that only to read it aloud to friends and spread merriment and revulsion.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

So would I! It seems terribly amusing. It'd be like reading the Eye of Argon.

[rurounitriv.livejournal.com]

What really amuses me here is that you're at a HEBREW library. As in, non-Christian. XD

[sonic-sues.livejournal.com]

They have to convert all the non-believers and save them from the abyss of a fiery hell!

[rurounitriv.livejournal.com]

Yeah. They can just keep telling themselves that... just leave me out of it. Those guys are scary, particularly once they get into the End-Times theology crap. What part of "none shall know the hour or the day" are they not getting?

For that matter, what part of "Judge not, lest ye be judged?"

[the-norseman.livejournal.com]

Obviously you haven't read the full version: "None shall know the hour of the day not them fancy folks with book learnin' who know the language, and have spent decades studyin' it. Naw, it shall be known by you Billy Bob Cletus, what has picked up a bible and thus gotten a direct line to the ALMIGHTY!"

At least that's what I think is in some of the fundie bibles...

You know Dan Brown and the average fundamentalist have one thing in common: They make you think the Catholic Church had a point when they said the bible and theology was too difficult for commoners to understand.

[christinaathena.livejournal.com]

What part of "none shall know the hour or the day" are they not getting

I think the reasoning is that that just means you can't know the exact time, but you can know generally when it'll be. Like, to within a year or so.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Actually, we do carry a few Christian related periodicals and have a rather large Christian section in our stacks. But we are focused on religious studies and the periodicals we do carry are not on crack.

[frodo-harry.livejournal.com]

Me things that this is a Muggle version of the Quibbler. It is best to ignore them because most of the stuff they write is bogus.

Frodo_harry

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

I have no idea what this is... but hey... it's funny.

[karma-kalisutah.livejournal.com]

'S a tabloid from Harry Potter, something like the wizarding answer to World Weekly. Frodo_harry's comment is sort of an insult to the Quibbler,, though – when Voldemort started to rise and all the more "respectable" publications were too fearful to report it accurately, the Quibbler actually became the most reliable news source in wizarding Britain!

The man in my icon is the editor. His daughter is my absolute favorite character in the books.

[frodo-harry.livejournal.com]

Sorry , I should have specified. I meant the early version of the Quibbler, The one in OOTP.

No in DH the Quibbler was amazing as were the people of Potterwatch.

I was expecting Luna to marry Neville for some reason. Oh well, it is still an amazing book.