![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kippurbirdSophie and Langdon get into Teabag's estate, Langdon hiding the cryptex in his coat jacket, saying that they'd stash it inside until they were sure they could trust Teabag. Oh and apparently Teabag has a strange sense of humor. Right. So, they're led into the drawing room and they hide the cryptex under divan. There's a lot of stuff devoted to the goddess in the room. \~/ Because everyone knows that the goddess has everything to do with the Holy Grail.
Teabag comes in calling Langdon "Sir Robert" and is apparently fat, unlike Ian McKellen who is skinny. And much better looking. And has a really awesome voice. And... yes. Teabag acts like a knight of old bowing to Sophie and calling her M'lady. He's supposed to be a character he is. \~/
We then get an infodump on what the Grail really is. BUT before we do that, Sophie tells Teabag what she knows which isn't much. And Teabag says, "Robert, I thought you were a gentleman. You've robbed her of the climax!" \~/ *facepalm*
Nothing sexual about that. Nope. Especially since right before that Teabag calls her a virgin (ie someone who doesn't know the truth about the Grail).
You know. Normally it's very easy for me to make the sexual innuendo jokes. I mean, Eragon loving his meat. Cole touching his Spirit Bear. But here? It's nearly impossible. It's not innuendo, it's utter blind spots. How can he NOT know what he's writing here? Marble Pillars. Robbing people of climaxes. It's like trying to paint an elephant on an elephant. Pointless. I feel cheated out of my sex jokes.
So, Teabag begins his lecture.
*Da Vinci hated the New Testament.
*The bible was collated by the Pagen Roman Emperor Constantine the Great (False) \~/
*Constantine was baptized on his deathbed too weak to protest. (false) \~/
*Constantine converted people to Christianity. (false) \~/
*Constantine shifted the Sabbath from Saturday to Sunday. (false) \~/
*Constantine convened the Council of Nicaea. (True)
*The Vatican was around at that time. (False) \~/
*Gospels that said anything about Jesus being human was eliminated. (False) \~/
*People who chose the forbidden gospels were labeled heretics. (False) \~/
*The Dead Sea Scrolls contained gospels. (false) \~/
*Which tell the true story of the Holy Grail (false) \~/
*Which the Vatican tried to suppress. (false) \~/
Now, here's something curious, looking at this list.
If Constantine was forcibly converted on his deathbed because he was too weak to protest, why would he make people convert to Christianity, shift the Sabbath from Saturday to Sunday, Convene the Council of Nicaea which decided if Jesus was a man or divine, compile which gospels were allowed in the NT and deem anyone a heretic who used the wrong gospels? I mean it'd be like my Rabbi doing that. Why would he care if he had no investment in the religion.
Unless Constantine did all of this after he died...?
Oh goody. Now Brown is hinting that Constantine is Jesus.
\~/\~/\~/\~/\~/\~/\~/
Damn... I'm out again.
After all of this, Teabag has Sophie take a look at DaVinci's Last Supper and asks her a few questions. The final one being, how many cups are there? Sophie answers "One" The Chalice. Instead there are thirteen cups. And not one a chalice. There for the Holy Grail is not a cup. This brings in mind Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. In the end of the movie when they're surrounded by hundreds of Chalices, the bad guys pick the most beautiful and richest and fanciest cup there is... and die horribly. Indiana picks the plain mug. If the Chalice is really the cup that Christ drank from, this choice makes the most sense. After all, Christ wouldn't have known that his cup would become so important (like The Sash of Rassilon for example) and therefor would have used what everyone else was using. Also I imagine that it would be against character for him to have used something special because he was supposed to be humble and modest. Not being that is why he got mad at the Temple Priests. It would be hypocritical of him to rally against the priests for being overly decetant and then at his last dinner be using a big shiny cup. So, it makes perfect sense that there is no Chalice in the painting. \~/
And because of that, it certainly doesn't mean that there was no Holy Grail, after all DaVinic was hardly the be all know all end all master on the subject of Christ. If anything, from what Brown has been saying, he's rather like the anti-Christ. Which, then, would make sense for him to not paint in the Holy Grail, because he'd want to thumb his nose at those who believed in it. \~/
However, Brown, of course, comes to a different conclusion. That is, since DaVinci (who is the Anti-Christ) didn't paint in the Chalice, there mustn't be a Chalice which means that the Holy Grail is a person! \~/
A woman to be exact.
Langdon then talks about the original symbols of Male ^ and female v. The male ^ being a rudimentary phallus \~/ and the female v being called a chalice which is a symbol for a woman's womb. Which people probably didn't know about when that symbol was made and instead a symbol for a woman's vagina. But vagina's don't make very good cups, now do they? \~/
Continuing on, Genesis is apparently the down fall of the Goddess because it tells us that woman was made from the rib of Adam and there for an offshoot of man. "Genesis was the Beginning of the end for the goddess." Genesis was the Jewish tradition's creation of the world. In some Midrashic stories, they say that when man was created he was both male and female and that God split him in two so that he wouldn't be lonely. How's that for Sacred Feminine? =D Also the Goddess was probably just one of a myriad of gods worshiped at the time that Genesis was "written" (I put written in quotes because for a long time it was an oral tradition) and it seemed to do quite well until Christianity came along. So the idea that Genesis was the end of the Goddess is utterly ridiculous... unless he thinks that it took over four thousand years for it to end? (four thousand because according to the Jewish Calendar we're in the year 5000 something or another) which really... isn't that long. Nope. Not at all. \~/\~/
\~/
The woman who is the Chalice is quite well known in history and Teabag is quite happy to show her to us... later.
Meanwhile Remy who is Teabag's Alfred sees Langdon and Sophie on the news.
Bobbo gets word where the two of them are.
And Silas also manages to turn up at the estate. Apparently the Teacher told him where to go for the keystone.
Ooooooooo....
Drinks: 27.
That's a new record.
Daaaamn.
Teabag comes in calling Langdon "Sir Robert" and is apparently fat, unlike Ian McKellen who is skinny. And much better looking. And has a really awesome voice. And... yes. Teabag acts like a knight of old bowing to Sophie and calling her M'lady. He's supposed to be a character he is. \~/
We then get an infodump on what the Grail really is. BUT before we do that, Sophie tells Teabag what she knows which isn't much. And Teabag says, "Robert, I thought you were a gentleman. You've robbed her of the climax!" \~/ *facepalm*
Nothing sexual about that. Nope. Especially since right before that Teabag calls her a virgin (ie someone who doesn't know the truth about the Grail).
You know. Normally it's very easy for me to make the sexual innuendo jokes. I mean, Eragon loving his meat. Cole touching his Spirit Bear. But here? It's nearly impossible. It's not innuendo, it's utter blind spots. How can he NOT know what he's writing here? Marble Pillars. Robbing people of climaxes. It's like trying to paint an elephant on an elephant. Pointless. I feel cheated out of my sex jokes.
So, Teabag begins his lecture.
*Da Vinci hated the New Testament.
*The bible was collated by the Pagen Roman Emperor Constantine the Great (False) \~/
*Constantine was baptized on his deathbed too weak to protest. (false) \~/
*Constantine converted people to Christianity. (false) \~/
*Constantine shifted the Sabbath from Saturday to Sunday. (false) \~/
*Constantine convened the Council of Nicaea. (True)
*The Vatican was around at that time. (False) \~/
*Gospels that said anything about Jesus being human was eliminated. (False) \~/
*People who chose the forbidden gospels were labeled heretics. (False) \~/
*The Dead Sea Scrolls contained gospels. (false) \~/
*Which tell the true story of the Holy Grail (false) \~/
*Which the Vatican tried to suppress. (false) \~/
Now, here's something curious, looking at this list.
If Constantine was forcibly converted on his deathbed because he was too weak to protest, why would he make people convert to Christianity, shift the Sabbath from Saturday to Sunday, Convene the Council of Nicaea which decided if Jesus was a man or divine, compile which gospels were allowed in the NT and deem anyone a heretic who used the wrong gospels? I mean it'd be like my Rabbi doing that. Why would he care if he had no investment in the religion.
Unless Constantine did all of this after he died...?
Oh goody. Now Brown is hinting that Constantine is Jesus.
\~/\~/\~/\~/\~/\~/\~/
Damn... I'm out again.
After all of this, Teabag has Sophie take a look at DaVinci's Last Supper and asks her a few questions. The final one being, how many cups are there? Sophie answers "One" The Chalice. Instead there are thirteen cups. And not one a chalice. There for the Holy Grail is not a cup. This brings in mind Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. In the end of the movie when they're surrounded by hundreds of Chalices, the bad guys pick the most beautiful and richest and fanciest cup there is... and die horribly. Indiana picks the plain mug. If the Chalice is really the cup that Christ drank from, this choice makes the most sense. After all, Christ wouldn't have known that his cup would become so important (like The Sash of Rassilon for example) and therefor would have used what everyone else was using. Also I imagine that it would be against character for him to have used something special because he was supposed to be humble and modest. Not being that is why he got mad at the Temple Priests. It would be hypocritical of him to rally against the priests for being overly decetant and then at his last dinner be using a big shiny cup. So, it makes perfect sense that there is no Chalice in the painting. \~/
And because of that, it certainly doesn't mean that there was no Holy Grail, after all DaVinic was hardly the be all know all end all master on the subject of Christ. If anything, from what Brown has been saying, he's rather like the anti-Christ. Which, then, would make sense for him to not paint in the Holy Grail, because he'd want to thumb his nose at those who believed in it. \~/
However, Brown, of course, comes to a different conclusion. That is, since DaVinci (who is the Anti-Christ) didn't paint in the Chalice, there mustn't be a Chalice which means that the Holy Grail is a person! \~/
A woman to be exact.
Langdon then talks about the original symbols of Male ^ and female v. The male ^ being a rudimentary phallus \~/ and the female v being called a chalice which is a symbol for a woman's womb. Which people probably didn't know about when that symbol was made and instead a symbol for a woman's vagina. But vagina's don't make very good cups, now do they? \~/
Continuing on, Genesis is apparently the down fall of the Goddess because it tells us that woman was made from the rib of Adam and there for an offshoot of man. "Genesis was the Beginning of the end for the goddess." Genesis was the Jewish tradition's creation of the world. In some Midrashic stories, they say that when man was created he was both male and female and that God split him in two so that he wouldn't be lonely. How's that for Sacred Feminine? =D Also the Goddess was probably just one of a myriad of gods worshiped at the time that Genesis was "written" (I put written in quotes because for a long time it was an oral tradition) and it seemed to do quite well until Christianity came along. So the idea that Genesis was the end of the Goddess is utterly ridiculous... unless he thinks that it took over four thousand years for it to end? (four thousand because according to the Jewish Calendar we're in the year 5000 something or another) which really... isn't that long. Nope. Not at all. \~/\~/
"The Grail," Langdon said, "Is symbolic of the lost goddess. When Christianity came along, the old pagan religions did not die easily. Legends of chivalric quests for the lost Grail were in fact stories of forbidden quests to find the lost sacred feminine. Knights who claimed to be "searching for the chalice" were speaking in code as a way to protect themselves from a Church that had subjugated women, banished the Goddess, burned nonbelievers and forbidden the pagan reverence for the sacred Feminine."
\~/
The woman who is the Chalice is quite well known in history and Teabag is quite happy to show her to us... later.
Meanwhile Remy who is Teabag's Alfred sees Langdon and Sophie on the news.
Bobbo gets word where the two of them are.
And Silas also manages to turn up at the estate. Apparently the Teacher told him where to go for the keystone.
Ooooooooo....
Drinks: 27.
That's a new record.
Daaaamn.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-10-05 04:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-05 06:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-05 05:03 pm (UTC)Kippur, if this keeps getting stupider (which I'm sure we all know it will), I'd start having a smaller drink each time ;D
no subject
Date: 2007-10-05 06:49 pm (UTC)And the smaller drinks sound like a good idea. I may have to do that too.
no subject
Date: 2007-10-06 07:48 am (UTC)D:
no subject
Date: 2007-10-06 08:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-05 06:51 pm (UTC)And since he was portrayed by Ian McKellen in the movie, that makes HIM Magneto.
Wow. That makes this book much more interesting. =D
no subject
Date: 2007-10-05 07:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-05 07:12 pm (UTC)Secondly: What goddess is Brown talking about? Is it a name for all of them together? That seems like another mistake, amalgamating all non-Christian religions into one monolithic culture.
Finally, because I am curious: Just what are you counting as a "drink?"
no subject
Date: 2007-10-05 07:52 pm (UTC)God only knows which goddess he's talking about.
Look under the tag "drinking game"
no subject
Date: 2007-10-05 10:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-06 08:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-06 09:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-06 09:37 pm (UTC)Now I'm imagining Jesus drinking out of an evil zombie-making cauldron. WIN.
no subject
Date: 2007-10-05 09:42 pm (UTC)(And to think some people came to me acting all smug after finishing this thing, wanting me to answer the "arguments" Brown presents against the church. I´m glad I didn´t bother.)
no subject
Date: 2007-10-08 12:00 am (UTC)You know. Normally it's very easy for me to make the sexual innuendo jokes. I mean, Eragon loving his meat. Cole touching his Spirit Bear. But here? It's nearly impossible. It's not innuendo, it's utter blind spots. How can he NOT know what he's writing here? Marble Pillars. Robbing people of climaxes. It's like trying to paint an elephant on an elephant. Pointless. I feel cheated out of my sex jokes.
I think he DOES know that he's writing innuendo, and that he's very proud of it as he considers it Artistic.