Kips rants about her world
Sep. 26th, 2007 10:51 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kippurbirdTo my fan girls to be.
Here are some important facts in regards to the Fey Court Champions that I know you won't pay attention to, but I feel is my duty to tell you.
Numbers:
There are only FIVE Fey Court Champions at anyone time. This is because there are only FIVE weapons. Look at the fingers on your hand. If you go over that number you are WRONG. There is only the Spear of Fire, the Bow of Air, the Lance of Ice, the Ax of Earth and the Sword of Dragons. There is not *Insert weapon name here* of *Insert whatever your Sue is here*. Five. Count them:
1.the Ax of Earth
2.the Bow of Air
3.the Lance of Ice
4.the Spear of Fire
5.the Sword of Dragons
See? There's five of them. Not six.
Users:
The user of a particular weapon is fairly easy to figure out. If you're a Fire Wizard you can wield the Spear of Fire. You could, in theory, use the Lance of Ice, but it wouldn't work for you except as a lance. Which is still a good thing, but only a water wizard, and only the water wizard bound to it, could make it work properly. If you were a water and a fire wizard it still wouldn't work because there are no duel wizards. (Not that would stop you.) The user is bound to their weapon. This means that they cannot lose it. They will not lose it. They will not give it to someone else to use and it will not work properly for anyone else but them. It will always find its way back to its bonded user. You can not make the weapon debond from it's chosen wielder. If the wielder dies you may try and take the weapon, but really you have to be someone special to let it bond to you.
Witches can not use the weapons except as weapons. They are not wizards. Therefor they can't use them properly. There is no *insert weapon of choice here* Of *insert witch type here*. There are no witch/wizards hybrids.
Canon wielders:
As of right now there are six known wielders. Darian (lance), Brenith (bow), Hellana (ax), Marlina (sword), Zela (spear) and Alec (sword after Marlina).
Out of all of these, only Darian would sleep with your Sue. But Darian is a ladies man and has very loose morals. He'd probably rob her blind while he was at it. He would not fall in love with her and decided to spend the rest of his days with her. He does not need to get married. Having a baby will not make him want to get married. I'm sure he has several kids wandering around. Your Sue is not one of them. Even if she was, he has no paternal interest in her and would be "Oh, that's nice" and that's about it. He will not welcome her back as his long lost child. He doesn't care. Out of the other four he'd probably sleep with Zela. Hellana would never lower herself, there's only friendship and respect with Marlina, Alec hasn't been born yet and Brenith is a guy. He doesn't do guys. The only guy he loves is his gelding. And he doesn't do bestiality. Though he does do kink.
Brenith is not going to do anyone. While he is a handsome older gentleman, he also lost his one true love and he's not going to find another one (the one true love bit, you know?). He's always in mourning for him and thinks of his bow as the last connection to his lover as the lover was the previous wielder. He has his own side mission of revenge to find whoever was behind the ambush and is very duty bound. He feels that it's his duty to do his lover's job since his lover can't do it. He's not going to drop everything to toddle off after your sue. He will not mentor your Sue either. He does not need someone to show him how to live again. He is not going to be sleeping with Darian. If anything the two of them have a sort of father/son relationship. Or exasperated older brother with idiotic younger brother. One of the two. Though they do make a good team.
Hellana Kindess hates your Sue. She believes as the only First Family member to wield one of the five weapons that she is one of the most talented and most powerful people in the city. She is haughty. She is proud. She does not suffer fools, hanger-oners, and wannabes. Having to submit to Marlina's authority grates on her, though she does respect Marlina's skill. She is not going to sleep with Darian because he's not good enough for her. No one is good enough for her. Nothing is good enough for her. She is not going to praise your Sue or be impressed by her. The only people she feels are near her level are the other champions. There will be no mad drunken confessions. She takes great pride in keeping herself in prime condition, always alert, always ready. If anything, she's like a Paladin. Her duty is her mandate for life. It's her responsibility from the gods. And she will not fail them. Failure is not an option. Yes, her nickname is Hell (which she hates) but no one talks about demons and things around her because there is no Hell. No one would get the connotation if your Sue would say something like "So she's got the Devil in her?" Your Sue is not good enough for her. Your Gary Stu is an idiot. The only person she might think of shagging would be Alec, but he's not born in her time, and that's only because he's a member of one of the First Families.
Zela is not a goth. She does not angst. She does not weep. She does not need a make over. She's is not confident in her abilities, but she can get the job done. She does not need your Sue to show her the way to deal with guys and get her out of her shy shell. With her peers, she's perfectly capable, it's just with the other Champions does she feel out of place. She is not secretly a member of one of the First Families abandoned at birth and raised by other people. She does not have curves in all the right places. She will not change by some magical means. She's kinda boyish looking. She does have a crush on Darian (but then again most girls her age do) but they are not going to get married and have a fleet of children. Their jobs make family raising impractical.
Which brings us to Marlina. Yes, she does have a son and yes she does love him dearly, but she's not a good mother and it would be too dangerous for her to stay and raise Wren or have him come with her. Wren is not neglected or abandoned, he's well taken care of with the rest of the Troven kids. They do a sort of group raising. Marlina has absolutely zero interest in raising him. She does not angst about not being a good mother, she has better things to do and she knows he's well taken care of. Yes. She does love Wolf. No she's not going to marry him. Marriage is not important for people and is usually done for political purposes. Besides what good is a marriage if you only see your spouse once every five or so months? Wolf is not her one true love. Between Marlina and Alec there are no other sword bearers. She is not going to train your Sue and let her use the sword. The line is direct. Marlina then Alec. She is not going to lose her sword or lend it out. There is not a second sword which she'll be amazed at and offer to train your Sue in its use. She has better things to do.
Finally there's Alec. You are not his one true love. That would be Lorac. You are not going to save him from Jono. He is not a goth. He does not want to have anyone's ass babies or for anyone else to have his ass babies. He and Jono have a bad and abusive relationship. It's seriously fucked up. No, really. Even if that's so, he needs to free himself from the relationship which is part of his Hero's journey. Your Sue is not going to save him or make him realize what trouble he is in with Jono. He is not going to fall head over heels in love with your Sue. That would be Verra. Your Sue is not Verra. He may have sex with your Sue even have a relationship with her, but he's not going to be madly in love with her, want to marry her and have tons of babies. He is not going to run off with your Sue. He had a relatively happy childhood. His parents and siblings loved him. He was not abused. He is not going to sleep with Marlina. She's his mentor.
Got that? Good.
Now, here's some good news. I've only listed six users. There's potentially hundreds of users between Marlina and Alec's time. Your Sue could, theoretically, be one of them. In theory. But you're going to botch it up anyway. I know you are. Thank you for your time.
Here are some important facts in regards to the Fey Court Champions that I know you won't pay attention to, but I feel is my duty to tell you.
Numbers:
There are only FIVE Fey Court Champions at anyone time. This is because there are only FIVE weapons. Look at the fingers on your hand. If you go over that number you are WRONG. There is only the Spear of Fire, the Bow of Air, the Lance of Ice, the Ax of Earth and the Sword of Dragons. There is not *Insert weapon name here* of *Insert whatever your Sue is here*. Five. Count them:
1.the Ax of Earth
2.the Bow of Air
3.the Lance of Ice
4.the Spear of Fire
5.the Sword of Dragons
See? There's five of them. Not six.
Users:
The user of a particular weapon is fairly easy to figure out. If you're a Fire Wizard you can wield the Spear of Fire. You could, in theory, use the Lance of Ice, but it wouldn't work for you except as a lance. Which is still a good thing, but only a water wizard, and only the water wizard bound to it, could make it work properly. If you were a water and a fire wizard it still wouldn't work because there are no duel wizards. (Not that would stop you.) The user is bound to their weapon. This means that they cannot lose it. They will not lose it. They will not give it to someone else to use and it will not work properly for anyone else but them. It will always find its way back to its bonded user. You can not make the weapon debond from it's chosen wielder. If the wielder dies you may try and take the weapon, but really you have to be someone special to let it bond to you.
Witches can not use the weapons except as weapons. They are not wizards. Therefor they can't use them properly. There is no *insert weapon of choice here* Of *insert witch type here*. There are no witch/wizards hybrids.
Canon wielders:
As of right now there are six known wielders. Darian (lance), Brenith (bow), Hellana (ax), Marlina (sword), Zela (spear) and Alec (sword after Marlina).
Out of all of these, only Darian would sleep with your Sue. But Darian is a ladies man and has very loose morals. He'd probably rob her blind while he was at it. He would not fall in love with her and decided to spend the rest of his days with her. He does not need to get married. Having a baby will not make him want to get married. I'm sure he has several kids wandering around. Your Sue is not one of them. Even if she was, he has no paternal interest in her and would be "Oh, that's nice" and that's about it. He will not welcome her back as his long lost child. He doesn't care. Out of the other four he'd probably sleep with Zela. Hellana would never lower herself, there's only friendship and respect with Marlina, Alec hasn't been born yet and Brenith is a guy. He doesn't do guys. The only guy he loves is his gelding. And he doesn't do bestiality. Though he does do kink.
Brenith is not going to do anyone. While he is a handsome older gentleman, he also lost his one true love and he's not going to find another one (the one true love bit, you know?). He's always in mourning for him and thinks of his bow as the last connection to his lover as the lover was the previous wielder. He has his own side mission of revenge to find whoever was behind the ambush and is very duty bound. He feels that it's his duty to do his lover's job since his lover can't do it. He's not going to drop everything to toddle off after your sue. He will not mentor your Sue either. He does not need someone to show him how to live again. He is not going to be sleeping with Darian. If anything the two of them have a sort of father/son relationship. Or exasperated older brother with idiotic younger brother. One of the two. Though they do make a good team.
Hellana Kindess hates your Sue. She believes as the only First Family member to wield one of the five weapons that she is one of the most talented and most powerful people in the city. She is haughty. She is proud. She does not suffer fools, hanger-oners, and wannabes. Having to submit to Marlina's authority grates on her, though she does respect Marlina's skill. She is not going to sleep with Darian because he's not good enough for her. No one is good enough for her. Nothing is good enough for her. She is not going to praise your Sue or be impressed by her. The only people she feels are near her level are the other champions. There will be no mad drunken confessions. She takes great pride in keeping herself in prime condition, always alert, always ready. If anything, she's like a Paladin. Her duty is her mandate for life. It's her responsibility from the gods. And she will not fail them. Failure is not an option. Yes, her nickname is Hell (which she hates) but no one talks about demons and things around her because there is no Hell. No one would get the connotation if your Sue would say something like "So she's got the Devil in her?" Your Sue is not good enough for her. Your Gary Stu is an idiot. The only person she might think of shagging would be Alec, but he's not born in her time, and that's only because he's a member of one of the First Families.
Zela is not a goth. She does not angst. She does not weep. She does not need a make over. She's is not confident in her abilities, but she can get the job done. She does not need your Sue to show her the way to deal with guys and get her out of her shy shell. With her peers, she's perfectly capable, it's just with the other Champions does she feel out of place. She is not secretly a member of one of the First Families abandoned at birth and raised by other people. She does not have curves in all the right places. She will not change by some magical means. She's kinda boyish looking. She does have a crush on Darian (but then again most girls her age do) but they are not going to get married and have a fleet of children. Their jobs make family raising impractical.
Which brings us to Marlina. Yes, she does have a son and yes she does love him dearly, but she's not a good mother and it would be too dangerous for her to stay and raise Wren or have him come with her. Wren is not neglected or abandoned, he's well taken care of with the rest of the Troven kids. They do a sort of group raising. Marlina has absolutely zero interest in raising him. She does not angst about not being a good mother, she has better things to do and she knows he's well taken care of. Yes. She does love Wolf. No she's not going to marry him. Marriage is not important for people and is usually done for political purposes. Besides what good is a marriage if you only see your spouse once every five or so months? Wolf is not her one true love. Between Marlina and Alec there are no other sword bearers. She is not going to train your Sue and let her use the sword. The line is direct. Marlina then Alec. She is not going to lose her sword or lend it out. There is not a second sword which she'll be amazed at and offer to train your Sue in its use. She has better things to do.
Finally there's Alec. You are not his one true love. That would be Lorac. You are not going to save him from Jono. He is not a goth. He does not want to have anyone's ass babies or for anyone else to have his ass babies. He and Jono have a bad and abusive relationship. It's seriously fucked up. No, really. Even if that's so, he needs to free himself from the relationship which is part of his Hero's journey. Your Sue is not going to save him or make him realize what trouble he is in with Jono. He is not going to fall head over heels in love with your Sue. That would be Verra. Your Sue is not Verra. He may have sex with your Sue even have a relationship with her, but he's not going to be madly in love with her, want to marry her and have tons of babies. He is not going to run off with your Sue. He had a relatively happy childhood. His parents and siblings loved him. He was not abused. He is not going to sleep with Marlina. She's his mentor.
Got that? Good.
Now, here's some good news. I've only listed six users. There's potentially hundreds of users between Marlina and Alec's time. Your Sue could, theoretically, be one of them. In theory. But you're going to botch it up anyway. I know you are. Thank you for your time.
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no subject
Date: 2007-09-26 08:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-26 08:27 pm (UTC)This is what happened with Brenith actually. Marlina got word that someone other than the known wielder (whose name I don't know yet, Brenith is being bitchy about giving it up to me)had the bow and went after him. However after a fight that drew to a standstill and Marlina seeing that he actually had the real bow and that it did work for him, he was welcomed as the lover's replacement. However what he did is an extremely rare happening.
Also, you make me blush with the "Wonderful world" comment.
no subject
Date: 2007-09-26 08:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-26 09:10 pm (UTC)The comic is cute. XD
no subject
Date: 2007-09-27 02:33 am (UTC)NOOOOOO!
Date: 2007-09-27 02:31 am (UTC)Re: NOOOOOO!
Date: 2007-09-27 03:21 am (UTC)Re: NOOOOOO!
Date: 2007-09-27 07:08 am (UTC)Wow, I think I hurt myself with that one. XD
no subject
Date: 2007-09-27 05:05 am (UTC)...and I'm not sure if there's any Sue in existence who could top
no subject
Date: 2007-09-27 05:28 am (UTC)No, I don't think there doesn't appear to be anyway to top it.
no subject
Date: 2007-09-27 07:28 am (UTC)Oh and I am certain a lot of them would have animal looking spirits following them about. That is technically canon (it becomes a fad during Laurel's time, thanks to Olav) but I imagine they would make sure their animal spirit was in fact a deity, the way Cake is.
... I realize that went over most of anyone's head because no one knows who the hell my characters are. *coughs* Anyway...
I'll stop rambling now. And I'm glad I suddenly created the worst Sue you could ever possibly see. That seemed kind of mild to me. Hopefully they won't get any worse than that. (Incidentally, I have not forgotten about the Sue Essay. I edited a bit more and still need to write the two other sections but I swear I'll work on it s'more tommorrow and send it to you for tearing apart.) XD
no subject
Date: 2007-09-27 07:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-27 07:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-27 08:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-28 01:06 am (UTC)