The Code Unfortunately Doesn't Get Any.

[kippurbird]

First of all, Robert Jordan died. It's a sad thing. Even though I despised his books, many people were his fans and I'm genuinely sad that he wasn't able to finish the Wheel of Time series. After all, it was his life's work and I imagine it must have been horrible to know that he wasn't able to finish it.

So, here's to a prolific author, Robert Jordan.


Now, back to something completely horrible.

Fache is upset that Langdon is taking so long in the bathroom. He's been in there ten minutes. Instead of going out to check on him, he paces in the command post and asks, "Where's Langdon". From Bobo we learn that Fache needs the arrest because he's having issues with the Board of Ministers and the media because of the way he does things and so now he needs an arrest to prove that he's doing the right thing. Then Fache gets a phone call from the Cryptology department. It's about Sophie Neveu. Some thing's not right with her. She's really a MAN! (And that's another drink \~/ for withholding information.)

Oh, by the way? That last paragraph was an entire chapter. Did we learn anything pertinent. No. Why? Because that information was withheld. Yes, that bit with Fache is important for his motive of doing things, however it could have been seeded into the text instead of just info-dumping it on us in one gigantic paragraph of DOOOM.

Next chapter. We go back to Silas. As he walks to the Church we learn that he hasn't had sex or masturbated in ten years. And that he knocks on the door.

No. really. He gets out of the car. Sees some hookers, gets horny, mentions the fact that he hasn't had sex in ten years and that's okay for what Opus Dei has done for him and now he's going to go find the keystone.

Chapter sixteen actually lasts for more than two pages.

Sophie reminisces about her his grandfather as she wonders if cornering Langdon was the right thing to do. Apparently, we learn, that their relationship evaporated ten years ago when she came home and found grandpa engaged in something she he wasn't supposed to see. What was it? Why playing with some Barbie dolls, of course. Or maybe he was cross-dressing. I don't know. So, that's a drink \~/. Apparently the Cross-dressing Barbie incident was so traumatic that she made her his grandfather promise never to contact her him again, afraid to know the real reason, least it be worse that what she he saw.

Until he called on the phone and told her him that her life was in danger (I got tired making the strike outs)and that she had to call him at the Louvre and it was about her family (who died in a car accident everyone but her). And that she was in danger.

Her response to this?

It's bait.

Obviously her grandfather wanted desperately to see her. He was trying anything. Her disgust for the man deepened. Sophie wondered if maybe he had fallen terminally ill and had decided to attempt any ploy he could think of to get Sophie to visit him one last time. If so, he had chosen wisely.

My family

Now, standing in the darkness of the Louvre men's room, Sophie could hear the echoes of this afternoon's phone message. Sophie, we both may be in danger. Call me.

She had not called him. Nor had she planned to. Now, however, her skepticism had been deeply challenged. Her grandfather lay murdered inside his own museum. And had written a code on the floor.

So, two things here. Grandpa calls her sounding absolutely desperate to talk to her. She thinks that he might have a terminal illness. And yet, despite all the good things that happened with him in the past, she's not willing to give up and make the call, even after he had been so good at not communicating with her for ten years just like she asked, so she knows this has to be important for him to make contact with her again. No. She didn't call him back. She didn't even plan to. She doesn't even want to see if he's dying to try and make amends. She's just going to leave him to maybe die. Two, her grandfather his shot and she thinks that maybe he might have been right? Her skepticism has been deeply challenged not defeated, but challenged. It's still there.

Her grandfather has been MURDERED. He told her, on the phone, that she might be in danger, they both might be, and she's STILL SKEPTICAL! How dense is she? That's another drink. \~/

Sophie is a master cryptographer. She used to do puzzle like things with grandpa when she was little. Apparently she is impressed with how her grandfather managed to use a simple code to get her and Langdon together. And then comes a important question. "Why?"

She pressed again, "You and my grandfather had planned to meet tonight. What about?"

Langdon looked truly perplexed. "His secretary set the meeting and didn't offer any specific reason, and I didn't ask. I assumed he'd heard that I would be lecturing on the pagan iconography of French cathedrals, was interested in the topic, and thought it would be fun to meet for drinks after the talk."

Sophie didn't buy it. The connection was flimsy. Her grandfather knew more about pagan iconography than anyone else on earth. Moreover, he was an exceptionally private man, not someone prone to chatting with random American professors unless there were an important reason.

Okay, so Brown comes out and SAYS there is no reason for Langdon to be involved. "Sophie didn't buy it. The connection was flimsy". No reason. No connection. There should at least be a tenuous thread of connection between Langdon and Grandpa. They had met before. He was helping Langdon with his book. Anything. But just to have No Connection makes this seem incredibly random and pointless. \~/ \~/ Right now it's just some weird coincidence that makes Langdon important to the story. Even if Sophie doesn't know the reason, she should at least come up with one herself, even one that might not make much sense but is something she holds to be maybe true, so that the reader knows why she's doing this. By her not thinking that there's a reason, but still going on with it makes her seem foolish and idiotic, because she's not thinking things through.

Also, grandpa obviously knew he was in danger yet did nothing about it, like call the police or something intelligent like that. Instead he has his secretary make a mysterious appointment with Langdon for some mysterious reason. Wait... I know... he wanted to know if Langdon liked cross dressing as much as he does. \~/

Plowing straight ahead with no thought of dignity Sophie tells Langdon that he has to come with her because Fache is going to do his job and lock him up. There for he has to run. "If you let Fache take you into custody now, you'll spend weeks in a French jail while DCPJ and the U.S. Embassy fight over which courts try your case. But if we get you out of here, and make it to your embassy, then your government will protect your rights while you and I prove that you had nothing to do with it."

Small problem. First of all, running will only prove Langdon's guilt. Second, running will make him a fugitive and once he's in the embassy he won't be able to leave because then they'll be able to arrest him because he'd no longer be on American soil and not being able to leave will make it hard for him to prove that he's innocent. Thirdly if he does manage to leave the embassy he'll be a fugitive, once again, and unable to do anything for fear of the cops after him.

Langdon mentions this.

Sophie continues to plead her case saying that Fache has made it his mission to prove that he's guilty. Langdon is still unconvinced.

Sophie decides that Langdon is running whether he wants to or not. Isn't that nice? She has his best interests in mind and listens to him. Yes. Wonderful.

Comments

[trinadi.livejournal.com]

Hmm, Sophie sounds very S-M-R-T

I wonder how many other people she has forced to be fugitives?

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

As many guys who would follow her perky tits? =D

[the-norseman.livejournal.com]

I should like to point out that France and the United States have an extradition treaty! In other words they wouldn't shelter him, since his behaviour would strongly suggest that he's guilty!

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Especially the whole running away part.

[-youngblood-.livejournal.com]

I keep trying to think what I would do if I were in Langdon's place. Strange lady who I've never met before tells me via weird cell phone message that I'm in "danger" without explaining the reason, then tells me to meet her in the little boy's room, then tells me that I have to run from the police who, for a very dubiously-explained reason, supposedly want to find me guilty? (Note: If this is a high profile case, which it undoubtedly is, you can't just get away with pinning it on somebody who was just supposed to have a meeting with the victim. No one would stand for it... unless, you know, you lived in a dictatorship. Which France totally is.) Anyway, I keep coming up with the same conclusion: I WOULD DO THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHAT LANGDON DOES/WILL DO.

How stupid do you have to be to listen to the psychobabble of some lady you've just met over a respected chief of police? Very stupid, that's how stupid. Even if she is OMGHAWT. I'd listen to the phone message, then hang up, and say, "Um, this chick wants me to flee an arrest for which you don't even have a warrant yet. That seems like pretty suspicious behavior to me. In fact, I think she's trying to frame me. As the curator's estranged granddaughter, she has much stronger of a connection with the victim than I do and therefore has an actual motive. So, yeah, arrest her."

And they probably would.

I want a Da Vinci Code that ends with the arrest of Sophie as the murderer. That would be way more interesting and probable-- like, the whole Code was just some nonsense setup for Sophie to frame Langdon. Seriously, how much better would that be?

And this was a long comment.

[berseker.livejournal.com]

NONONONONO, you’re forgetting a capital rule: the policemen are ALWAYS stupid. Like, really. It’s some kind of unwritten rule or something. If they, by some kind of mistake, hire a smart person, they’ll end up firing him; otherwise he won’t be able to solve anything.

[the-norseman.livejournal.com]

A Good Thriller must have an overcomplicated plot, and since this plot would be resolved in an hour if anyone used their brains, it obviously follows that everyone must be an idiot.

I mean when you see writers doing plots like: A government discovers that it's missile testing program has been compromised. In order to discover who the spy is they place the testing rig on a deserted island, far away from any backup. There is a single agent there to see if the spy will break his cover, and do something stupid! As a result a group of Chinese soldiers take over the island, and prepare to steal the missile so they can use it to blackmail the US and the USSR as China invades Australia!

I mean if you point out that they could easily have solved the problem by having the FBI (or equivalent) investigate; or that they could have placed a submarine filled with marines nearby; or that the Chinese can't possibly invade Australia even if only the Australians fight back...

Why then the entire plot is derailed. No the author must take you on a rollercoaster ride, and trust that the average reader will never have the time, or the inclination, to stop and go "Hang on!" Or if he does then it's too late, he's already bought the book.

I use this as an example, since we haven't yet gone through the whole of the Da Vinci code.

[-youngblood-.livejournal.com]

No the author must take you on a rollercoaster ride, and trust that the average reader will never have the time, or the inclination, to stop and go "Hang on!" Or if he does then it's too late, he's already bought the book.

That makes me sad in my soul. :( Yet it is probably accurate for someone like Dan Brown. If it were me, I would never dupe a reader like that. It's just dishonest, and it sullies the career of authorship.

Either that or Dan Brown's just dumb.

[berseker.livejournal.com]

And that’s the famous Idiot Plot, in which every single character acts stupid. Oh joy.

But, really, Brown takes things a little too far. He wants to use all the clichés he knows? Fine. But he could at least try to make them interesting. Give the police some real motivation, instead of the old “oh, you know, public opinion and stuff”. Or make the main characters so damm-cool-jack-bauer-style that you don’t really care about the rest of the cast. Or something.

[-youngblood-.livejournal.com]

Oh, riiiiiiiiight. Thanks, yes, I must remember that the police don't "serve and protect," they "bungle and trip up."

[berseker.livejournal.com]

Yes, and you should never tell them the stuff you know, 'cause they´ll be bound to arrest you. That´s what they do.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Long but perfectly reasonable. I should write up the Code from a logical stand point. But... that would be very short.

[dove-cg.livejournal.com]

Hey! At least it saves you more time than rewriting the Inheritance trilogy does. Normally it being really short would be the reason to do it. :D ;)

Also, I love the little drink symbols, though it took me awhile to figure out what they were.