The Code Begins.
Sep. 7th, 2007 09:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kippurbirdThe Da Vinci Code came today!
I barely got any time off. Oh well. Onward! In the name of... Trying to Kill My BRAIN!! WOO!
I got the picture edition of the Da Vinci code. Which should be fun.
The book begins with something very important:
Fact:
The Priory of Sion - a European secret society founded in 1099 - is a real organization. In 1973 Pari's Bibliotheque Nationale discovered parchments known as Les Dossiers Secrets, identifying numerous members of the Priory of Sion, including Sir Issac Newton, Botticelli, Victor Hugo, and Leonardo da Vinci.
The Vatican prelature known as Opus Dei is a deeply devout Catholic sect that has been the topic of recent controversy due to reports of brainwashing, coercion, and a dangerous practice known as "corporal mortification". Opus Dei has just completed construction of a $47 million National Headquarters at 243 Lexington Avenue in New York City.
All descriptions of artwork, architecture, documents and secret rituals in this novel are accurate.
Now, my first wholly unanalytical thought about this paragraph is, "I thought it was the Scientologists who did the brainwashing." Anyway. Brown has made a huge claim here in these paragraphs. One that is very dangerous. By asserting that every description of artwork, architecture, documents and secret rituals are true, he forces the world to take place in our world as opposed to an alternate reality. What I mean by an alternate reality is that if he didn't say that they were true, the then reader would just assume that these things are true in the world that the story takes place in. By saying that they are accurate, he has to prove this point when ever he brings up one of these items. If the above section had happened within the actual text of the story, then it would be assumed that the documents are true within the story's world. Much like those little factual things sometimes put at the beginning of chapters.
However, separated as it is, from the actual text of the novel, leaves himself open to being proven wrong, thus discrediting the story.
Prologue: Louvre Museum, Paris. 10:46 P.M.
We begin with the curator Jacques Sauniere staggering into the Louvre's Grand Gallery where he yanks a painting -a Caravaggio- off the wall and sends the security doors slamming down. Laying on the ground he thinks to himself that he is still alive as he looks for a place to hide. He's being chased then.
He's being chased by an albino with a gun with an accent that's not easy to place. The albino wants the curator to tell him where something is. The curator, obviously, denies knowing whatever it is that the albino wants. They have a mysterious discussion where the albino asserts that he knows something that the curator's brethren told him, saying that he killed them too. There is a delicious line of "If I die; the truth will be lost forever." Very cliche that line, but it's setting up the mystery so, I suppose it has to be allowed.
And then the albino shoots him, but doesn't kill him. He goes to shoot him again, but is out of bullets.
The click of an empty chamber echoed through the corridor.
The curator's eyes flew open.
The man glanced down at his weapon, looking almost amused. He reached for a second clip, but the seemed to reconsider, smirking calmly at Sauniere's gut. "My work here is done."
And then, he leaves.
Yes. He leaves. The Albino knows that the man he just shot has a secret and that he's the last one with the secret. He has a fatal wound but not completely fatal as it'll take about fifteen minutes for him to die and by then help might get there, by the way, where are the guards? Shouldn't they have come running once the alarms were set off? He's not out of bullets, it would take a couple of seconds to reload, and he DOESN'T KILL THE GUY! YOU DON'T LEAVE AN ENEMY ALIVE IF YOU CAN KILL HIM!! This is called the bad guys being intentionally stupid so that the plot can move forward. Because, if the bad guy didn't leave him alive, the curator couldn't leave clues to his murderer.
Also, while we're talking stupid plot holes, why doesn't the curator have a cell phone? Because if he did, then he could have called for an ambulance or security to get down their quicker. If they did that, then he wouldn't be able to pass on his secret to the right man for the job. If anything, he could have had a cell phone, tried to use it and discover that he doesn't have any signal and then go off and do whatever it is he's going to do.
Chapter one:
We begin with our hero, Robert Langdun waking up. He's asleep in the Hotel Ritz Paris, and is woken up by a phone ringing. It's the concierge who says that Robert has a visitor. Apparently he had only been asleep for an hour, "but felt like the dead". A curious turn of phrase, seeing as how it's past midnight and usually, after being woken up after an hour's sleep that late at night, it would be perfectly normal to feel like the dead. Usually, if I don't get three hours of sleep I feel like the dead. The way the sentence is structured makes it seem like he shouldn't be feeling like the dead.
Mr. Langdun is in Paris, having given a lecture. He thinks that his visitor is someone who got their feathers ruffled from his lecture that evening. He tells the concierge to tell the guy to go away and hangs up the phone. We then get a look of Robert Langdon in the mirror, thus letting us know what he looks like. Having your character look at himself in the mirror is a cliched way to let the reader know what they look like. It works, but it sometimes it's simpler just to have your character be described in the narrative. That way you don't have to hope you have a mirror around for them to look in.
He reminisces about earlier that evening and about an article that Boston Magazine did on him naming him as one of the city's ten most intriguing people. Apparently the person who introduced him that night used the article in her opening speech. We learn, from this that Robert was involved in an incident with the Vatican's conclave and that his voice has been described as "chocolate for the ears." Nummy.
The phone rings again and the guy down stairs is telling Robert that the very important visitor is coming up to his room and apparently he didn't have the authority to stop him. The visitor turns out to be the French equivalent of the FBI. He wants Langdon to come with him now. Apparently Langdon was to meet with the curator that night, but the curator never showed up.
The Agent shows Robert a photograph that was taken an hour ago in the Louvre. We are not told what is in the photograph, but instead shown Robert's reaction. He's horrified. We're told it's a bizzare image. But what is bizzare, we don't know. For all I know it could be two goats fucking a girl. Which is a very bizzare image and certainly disturbing and would cause rage, which is what happens to Robert.
Apparently there is symbology in the picture of the two goats and girl which is why they came to Robert. He's an expert in it, plus he was going to be meeting with the curator. Then we learn that there's a corpse in the picture. So, the goats are fucking a dead girl. Lovely.
Finally we get a bit of a hint on whats in the picture,
Langdon stared at the picture, his horror now laced with fear. The image was gruesome and profoundly strange, bringing with it an unsettling sense of deja vu. A little over a year ago, Langdon had received a photograph of a corpse and a similar request for help. Twenty four hours later, he had almost lost his life inside Vatican City. This photo was entirely different, and yet something about the scenario felt the same
Okay, so, he's seen something similar. Perhaps a pair of sheep fucking a dead girl? I don't know. I'm getting kinda frustrated here. All I know is that there's this picture with something horrifying on it. And there's a dead person.
Langdon finally wonders who would do such a thing. The Agent says that the curator did it to himself.
GASP! So it's not a pair of goats fucking a dead girl! It's the curator mysteriously position (again, we don't know how, perhaps there are goats involved after all) and there are symbols. But we are missing vital information. We've been missing it since the photograph was introduced. This information is vital for us to understand what's happening in the story. We need to know what is so horrifying about the way this man has positioned himself? What do these symbols look like? What is so special about it.
We're not told this, however. Instead we have to read on to find out. Thus, the reader is forced to continue on to learn the answer to this mystery instead of trying to figure out what the actual mystery (why was his body positioned the way it is and what the symbols could mean) is. This takes away some of the reader participation. After all, they're not allowed to puzzle over the meaning along with Robert. They just have to kind of hang around in the background, like spies over-hearing a conversation. Technically speaking, we would have gotten as much information about the picture if we had heard them talking out loud and not reading about their conversation.
While, yes, it does create a sense of mystery. What is in the picture? What is so horrifying? We're detached from the situation, because well, we're just being told that there's something horrifying to see, instead of actually seeing it for ourselves. For all we know, the goat scenario isn't as horrifying as the picture. But for all we know, it isn't.
I barely got any time off. Oh well. Onward! In the name of... Trying to Kill My BRAIN!! WOO!
I got the picture edition of the Da Vinci code. Which should be fun.
The book begins with something very important:
Fact:
The Priory of Sion - a European secret society founded in 1099 - is a real organization. In 1973 Pari's Bibliotheque Nationale discovered parchments known as Les Dossiers Secrets, identifying numerous members of the Priory of Sion, including Sir Issac Newton, Botticelli, Victor Hugo, and Leonardo da Vinci.
The Vatican prelature known as Opus Dei is a deeply devout Catholic sect that has been the topic of recent controversy due to reports of brainwashing, coercion, and a dangerous practice known as "corporal mortification". Opus Dei has just completed construction of a $47 million National Headquarters at 243 Lexington Avenue in New York City.
All descriptions of artwork, architecture, documents and secret rituals in this novel are accurate.
Now, my first wholly unanalytical thought about this paragraph is, "I thought it was the Scientologists who did the brainwashing." Anyway. Brown has made a huge claim here in these paragraphs. One that is very dangerous. By asserting that every description of artwork, architecture, documents and secret rituals are true, he forces the world to take place in our world as opposed to an alternate reality. What I mean by an alternate reality is that if he didn't say that they were true, the then reader would just assume that these things are true in the world that the story takes place in. By saying that they are accurate, he has to prove this point when ever he brings up one of these items. If the above section had happened within the actual text of the story, then it would be assumed that the documents are true within the story's world. Much like those little factual things sometimes put at the beginning of chapters.
However, separated as it is, from the actual text of the novel, leaves himself open to being proven wrong, thus discrediting the story.
Prologue: Louvre Museum, Paris. 10:46 P.M.
We begin with the curator Jacques Sauniere staggering into the Louvre's Grand Gallery where he yanks a painting -a Caravaggio- off the wall and sends the security doors slamming down. Laying on the ground he thinks to himself that he is still alive as he looks for a place to hide. He's being chased then.
He's being chased by an albino with a gun with an accent that's not easy to place. The albino wants the curator to tell him where something is. The curator, obviously, denies knowing whatever it is that the albino wants. They have a mysterious discussion where the albino asserts that he knows something that the curator's brethren told him, saying that he killed them too. There is a delicious line of "If I die; the truth will be lost forever." Very cliche that line, but it's setting up the mystery so, I suppose it has to be allowed.
And then the albino shoots him, but doesn't kill him. He goes to shoot him again, but is out of bullets.
The click of an empty chamber echoed through the corridor.
The curator's eyes flew open.
The man glanced down at his weapon, looking almost amused. He reached for a second clip, but the seemed to reconsider, smirking calmly at Sauniere's gut. "My work here is done."
And then, he leaves.
Yes. He leaves. The Albino knows that the man he just shot has a secret and that he's the last one with the secret. He has a fatal wound but not completely fatal as it'll take about fifteen minutes for him to die and by then help might get there, by the way, where are the guards? Shouldn't they have come running once the alarms were set off? He's not out of bullets, it would take a couple of seconds to reload, and he DOESN'T KILL THE GUY! YOU DON'T LEAVE AN ENEMY ALIVE IF YOU CAN KILL HIM!! This is called the bad guys being intentionally stupid so that the plot can move forward. Because, if the bad guy didn't leave him alive, the curator couldn't leave clues to his murderer.
Also, while we're talking stupid plot holes, why doesn't the curator have a cell phone? Because if he did, then he could have called for an ambulance or security to get down their quicker. If they did that, then he wouldn't be able to pass on his secret to the right man for the job. If anything, he could have had a cell phone, tried to use it and discover that he doesn't have any signal and then go off and do whatever it is he's going to do.
Chapter one:
We begin with our hero, Robert Langdun waking up. He's asleep in the Hotel Ritz Paris, and is woken up by a phone ringing. It's the concierge who says that Robert has a visitor. Apparently he had only been asleep for an hour, "but felt like the dead". A curious turn of phrase, seeing as how it's past midnight and usually, after being woken up after an hour's sleep that late at night, it would be perfectly normal to feel like the dead. Usually, if I don't get three hours of sleep I feel like the dead. The way the sentence is structured makes it seem like he shouldn't be feeling like the dead.
Mr. Langdun is in Paris, having given a lecture. He thinks that his visitor is someone who got their feathers ruffled from his lecture that evening. He tells the concierge to tell the guy to go away and hangs up the phone. We then get a look of Robert Langdon in the mirror, thus letting us know what he looks like. Having your character look at himself in the mirror is a cliched way to let the reader know what they look like. It works, but it sometimes it's simpler just to have your character be described in the narrative. That way you don't have to hope you have a mirror around for them to look in.
He reminisces about earlier that evening and about an article that Boston Magazine did on him naming him as one of the city's ten most intriguing people. Apparently the person who introduced him that night used the article in her opening speech. We learn, from this that Robert was involved in an incident with the Vatican's conclave and that his voice has been described as "chocolate for the ears." Nummy.
The phone rings again and the guy down stairs is telling Robert that the very important visitor is coming up to his room and apparently he didn't have the authority to stop him. The visitor turns out to be the French equivalent of the FBI. He wants Langdon to come with him now. Apparently Langdon was to meet with the curator that night, but the curator never showed up.
The Agent shows Robert a photograph that was taken an hour ago in the Louvre. We are not told what is in the photograph, but instead shown Robert's reaction. He's horrified. We're told it's a bizzare image. But what is bizzare, we don't know. For all I know it could be two goats fucking a girl. Which is a very bizzare image and certainly disturbing and would cause rage, which is what happens to Robert.
Apparently there is symbology in the picture of the two goats and girl which is why they came to Robert. He's an expert in it, plus he was going to be meeting with the curator. Then we learn that there's a corpse in the picture. So, the goats are fucking a dead girl. Lovely.
Finally we get a bit of a hint on whats in the picture,
Langdon stared at the picture, his horror now laced with fear. The image was gruesome and profoundly strange, bringing with it an unsettling sense of deja vu. A little over a year ago, Langdon had received a photograph of a corpse and a similar request for help. Twenty four hours later, he had almost lost his life inside Vatican City. This photo was entirely different, and yet something about the scenario felt the same
Okay, so, he's seen something similar. Perhaps a pair of sheep fucking a dead girl? I don't know. I'm getting kinda frustrated here. All I know is that there's this picture with something horrifying on it. And there's a dead person.
Langdon finally wonders who would do such a thing. The Agent says that the curator did it to himself.
GASP! So it's not a pair of goats fucking a dead girl! It's the curator mysteriously position (again, we don't know how, perhaps there are goats involved after all) and there are symbols. But we are missing vital information. We've been missing it since the photograph was introduced. This information is vital for us to understand what's happening in the story. We need to know what is so horrifying about the way this man has positioned himself? What do these symbols look like? What is so special about it.
We're not told this, however. Instead we have to read on to find out. Thus, the reader is forced to continue on to learn the answer to this mystery instead of trying to figure out what the actual mystery (why was his body positioned the way it is and what the symbols could mean) is. This takes away some of the reader participation. After all, they're not allowed to puzzle over the meaning along with Robert. They just have to kind of hang around in the background, like spies over-hearing a conversation. Technically speaking, we would have gotten as much information about the picture if we had heard them talking out loud and not reading about their conversation.
While, yes, it does create a sense of mystery. What is in the picture? What is so horrifying? We're detached from the situation, because well, we're just being told that there's something horrifying to see, instead of actually seeing it for ourselves. For all we know, the goat scenario isn't as horrifying as the picture. But for all we know, it isn't.
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no subject
Date: 2007-09-08 07:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-08 07:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-08 05:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-08 08:18 pm (UTC)Also, yes, I do have other people go over my work. I'm not that cocky as to think that my own work is flawless as well as I know that having someone else looking it over catches things that I may not realize.
no subject
Date: 2007-09-08 08:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-08 08:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-08 09:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-08 10:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-08 08:34 am (UTC)Now on to the Code itself...
Even an old fogie would have a cellphone, at least in Europe, they're really omnipresent. So you're quite right there.
Second point: fifteen minutes to answer an alarm in the Louvre?
Check a map of Paris to see where the Louvre is situated. It's in the middle of a ton of important buildings. How long would it take the police to respond to disturbances in the congressional precinct in Washington DC?
Gets better: the Louvre has 2000 staff, of which half are security. There's 24/7 surveillance of the closed circuit cameras! There's always someone on duty, and yet Sauniere is all alone? (source)
Moreover the area around the Louvre will never be truly empty, there's always people there. That could be good if you look like a normal human being, but, without spoilers, if you have a distinctive dress or appearance you will be spotted.
no subject
Date: 2007-09-08 06:07 pm (UTC)Wait, does that mean he was a virgin birth?
no subject
Date: 2007-09-08 07:02 pm (UTC)Best part of this is that this whole plot involves at least three sinful acts:
1. Masturbation (necessary before you can have artificial insemination).
2. Artificial insemination.
3. Producing a child out of wedlock.
It gets even worse when you consider that both the persons involved have taken Holy Orders. In fact I think this would be an excommunicable offence.
As for their child prior to 1984 a Defect of Birth, e.g. bastardy, was an impediment to receiving Holy Orders, and if received to exercise them.
That the previous Pope was aware that his secretary (I believe) was his bastard son, and helped his career is also a crime: Nepotism, or perhaps even Simony.
Of course this is the Dan Brown Catholic Church, so reason need not apply.
no subject
Date: 2007-09-08 08:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-08 09:42 pm (UTC)So either the albino monk is also a ninja...or the security guards didn't think this was the slightest bit out of place.
Guard 1:"Hm. Hey Pierre, look at this."
Guard 2:"Huh?"
G1:"There's a strange looking man in a robe wandering around the galleries"
G2:"*shrug* Whatever. It's probably just one of the janitors." *sips coffee*
G1:"You're probably right." *picks up newspaper*
Clearly, they are hiring none but the best.
no subject
Date: 2007-09-08 09:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-09 02:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-08 02:16 pm (UTC)Gah. Langdon bores me.
no subject
Date: 2007-09-08 03:04 pm (UTC)Completely agreed.
no subject
Date: 2007-09-08 08:21 pm (UTC)Tom Hanks was more interesting. Langdon seems sort of... blargh.
no subject
Date: 2007-09-08 10:26 pm (UTC)Also, I have to get this off my chest: SYMBOLOGIST MY ASS! Langdon would be best defined as an art historian, and when was the last time you saw a world-famous art historian, complete with full-to-overflowing audiences for his/her lectures to the general public?* All the details about Langdon - how good-looking he is for a middle-aged man, the nice voice, the magazine ranking, all of it - just reek to me of a Stu-ified self insert, a fault which is annoying but forgiveable in a 13-year-old girl's fanfiction but is just sad and pathetic when it comes from a man in his 40s.
Secondly, doesn't it take much longer for someone to die of a gunshot to the gut? Unless it hits an artery, you would just slowly bleed to death (or worse, slowly develop septicemia if the bullet punctured the intestines). It would hurt like hell, but it's hardly a quick death.
Finally, you're spot-on about Brown's purposeful holding back of pertinent information just for the
LULZZOMG SUSPENSE. It's the sort of technique that would work in a screenplay, but in a book just comes of as annoying. Sadly, the worst authorial crimes are yet to come.I'm suprised you didn't mention Langdon's endless Paris travelogue monologues during his taxi ride to the museum. If I wanted the history of various Paris landmarks, I'd be reading a book about that and not some crappy mystery. Plus, I kept expecting him to be interrupted mid-ramble by the driver saying something along the lines of "Monsieur, we are here. We have been here for 10 minutes. Pay me."
*(no offense to any and all reading this journal who may have studied in the field...just the opinion of an ignorant anthropology major, but my perception of the field is that it's a lot like philosophy: a lot of people arguing themselves in circles about obscure subjects or interpretations with little appeal to those outside the field)
no subject
Date: 2007-09-08 11:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-09 02:44 am (UTC)Hee.
Sadly, the worst authorial crimes are yet to come.
Should I be afraid? Very afraid?
I haven't gotten to his endless Paris travelogue yet. =D
no subject
Date: 2007-09-09 03:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-09 05:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-09 01:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-09 03:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-09 07:20 am (UTC)[J]ust the fact that they're born from Jesus is enough?
Marvorlo Gaunt had a similar opinion. "I've got a Big Name in my family tree! You should kiss my ring!"
no subject
Date: 2007-09-10 06:47 am (UTC)The deal is supposedly that if Christ had descendants, true heirs, then they would be the true rulers of the Church. Thus the Pope would suddenly be out of a job. Therefore the Church has for centuries persecuted, and assassinated, the descendants of Christ.
Doesn't make much sense, but there you are...
P.S. kippurbird when you reach the section where he describes the Shekinah be sure to show it to a scholar, and ask him what he thinks 0:-)
no subject
Date: 2007-09-10 07:37 am (UTC)Well that's good to know. Where can I learn about the superpowers of Dagobert et al?
The deal is supposedly that if Christ had descendants, true heirs, then they would be the true rulers of the Church. Thus the Pope would suddenly be out of a job.
Humans do stupid things for matters of Deep Symbolic value, when am I going to get that hard-wired into my brain?
no subject
Date: 2007-09-10 09:34 am (UTC)Of course any king or queen is supposed to have healing powers, especially in regards to King's Evil. So it's no wonder if the Merovingians had or had myths about healing powers.
Napoleon emulated the Merovingians, and copied their coat of arms, the bees. Of course some people say that those are flowers, and not bees, but at least Napoleon tried to copy the Merovingians. So that's something.
no subject
Date: 2007-09-09 01:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-09 10:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-10 03:46 am (UTC)Langdon, the UberStu, fresh from falling from an exploding helicopter in Angels and Demons, on his fun new adventure with his next pretty sidekick.
(I'm rooting for the Albino all the way, baby!)
no subject
Date: 2007-09-10 11:19 pm (UTC)What is really funny is that Borders, before I was employed there, when this book first came out, apparently had to hype the crap out of it and the store I work at won a nice prize for winning the hype contest (I think it was something like a Borders gift card for each employee.)
I was grateful to have missed that, even though I had never heard of the book until I came to work there. XD
*settles in to read lovely sporkings*
no subject
Date: 2007-09-22 05:38 am (UTC)