More list silliness.

[kippurbird]

True facts about Kippur

• Kippur actually wrote Harry Potter, but let Rowling take credit for it.
• While Santa Claus knows when you've been naughty or nice, Kippur knows when you've been mediocre.
• There is always a spoon for Kippur
• Kippur does not exist, but is instead a collective hallucination sent out to the populace by a government conspiracy.
  
• The voices in Kippur's head don't tell her what to do. She tells them.
• Kippur doesn't need a dream catcher to catch dreams. She's quick enough to do it with her bare hands.
• Kippur has a killer goldfish. Don't make her send it after you.
  
• That voice in your head? It's Kippur.
• Kippur not only needs a stinking badge, she wants one.
  
• The internet is Kippur's fault. Spam is Al Gore's.
  
• There are no skeleton's in Kippur's closet. She keeps them in the garage.
  
• Area fifty three is devoted to Kippur
• Aliens tried to abduct Kippur, but she abducted them first.
• Kippur defies gravity, she just walks on the ground so not to confuse the rest of the people.
  
• Kippur is the Chosen One. All of them.
  
• Kippur has a harem of gorgeous men and women devoted to her and willing to do whatever she desires. She makes them clean house.
  
• Kippur does windows.
• If it wasn't for Kippur, we'd all be using A-tracks.
  
• Kippur knows where Jimmy Hoffa is buried.
  
• Kippur was the man on the grassy knoll.
  
• You can fry eggs on Kippur, because she's that hot.
  
• M&M's melt in Kippur's hand, not in her mouth.
  
• Vanilla Ice never went anywhere because of Kippur's interference.
• Your tax dollars really work for Kippur's mad desires.
• Kippur really rules the world.
• George Bush is really a robot under Kippur's control.
  
• Kippur did not inflate gas prices.
  
• The Library of Congress is Kippur's personal library.
  
• Thomas Jefferson didn't write the Declaration of Independence, Kippur did.
• Kippur is your momma.
  
• Frued had a Kippur complex.
  
• Kippur sees dead people but they don't see her.
  
• Kippur marched with the penguins.
  
• Kippur touched your spirit bear.
  
• Fairies believe in Kippur, if they didn't she would die.
  
• Kippur has a pet dragon. She keeps it in her pocket.
  
• Shakespeare was really Kippur, that's why no one can figure out who he was.
  
• The Others are afraid of Kippur.
  
• In space, you can hear Kippur scream.
  
• Kippur is the other red meat.
  
• Kippur is not kosher.
  
• Cell phones always cut out around Kippur.
  
• Kippur is the wonderful wizard of Oz.
  
• Lions are not the king of beasts, Kippur's cat is.
  
• Without Kippur there would be no reality.
  
• Kippur understands the Matrix movies.
  
• Kippur can not only remove your still beating heart from your chest, she can make sure that you stay alive afterwards.
• Voodo dolls do not work on Kippur.
  
• Kippur has a real working lightsaber.
  
• Scotty has beamed Kippur up.
  
• Kippur has Einstein's brain in a jar.
  
• The rum is gone because Kippur drank it all.
  
• 2+2=4 because Kippur deemed it so.
  
• Kippur can leap tall buildings in a single bound.
  
• Kippur was frozen in a block of ice after WWII and was revived by the government because they needed her help.
  
• Kippur can take the tags off of mattresses without fear.
  
• Kippur has her towel, but she doesn't need it.
• Kippur's entry in the Hitch hiker's guide to the galaxy is "Not Mostly Harmless"
  
• The Dalaks were exterminated by Kippur, she is Bad Wolf.
  
• Without Kippur, there would be no rainbows.
  
• Kippur did not write this list. It wrote itself.

Comments

[trinadi.livejournal.com]

Wow, you stole Einstein's brain from McMaster? Ooooh, I bet they don't like you ;)

[thelittlebudgie.livejournal.com]

Aw, darn. There goes my reason for accepting their offer of admission.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Awww... oh well.

[trinadi.livejournal.com]

I'll accept their offer for you then :P It'll save me applying next year.

[thelittlebudgie.livejournal.com]

Your offer is generous, but I'll have to pass. Partially because my parents'll lynch me, seeing as my fees are already paid, and partially because there's no way I'm giving up my excuse to only be home every other weekend.

[trinadi.livejournal.com]

Aww, pity. I live a twenty minute walk to the grounds. (( Mac is fun to walk around. :D ))

[thelittlebudgie.livejournal.com]

Really? That'll be convenient for you, then. I think the house I'm staying at is about fifteen or so minutes away, though I'll have to walk it myself a couple times.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

McMaster never had Einstein's brain. It's a forgery. Kippur always had it.

[thelittlebudgie.livejournal.com]

Kippur can take the tags off of mattresses without fear.

I less-than-three these lists.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

I less-than-three writing these lists. I'm glad you enjoy reading them.

[dergerm.livejournal.com]

HAHAHA! Oh man, I cracked up the whole thing through.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Good! That's the point! Oh, and happy belated birthday!

[dergerm.livejournal.com]

Thanks1

[alaniaflamestar.livejournal.com]

Bwahahahah!

Now what I'm really dying to know is whether Kippur can take on Chuck Norris without fear.

=^.^=

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Kippur can take on Chuck Norris without fear, but only if it involves cuteness, otherwise she hides from him.

[andy-longwood.livejournal.com]

*giggles*

*lots*

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

*cackles madly*

[lauramcvey.livejournal.com]

Kippur actually wrote Harry Potter, but let Rowling take credit for it.

So I can blame you for Deathly Hallows? *cracks knuckles*

(Chapter One, in all it's badness, is sporked and posted)

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Kippur refuses to take the blame, for she is blameless. =D

(Saw <3 )

[karma-kalisutah.livejournal.com]

Psh. The real Bad Wolf would know how to spell "Dalek."

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Everything Kippur spells is right. It's everyone else who gets it wrong. ^_^

[dryaunda.livejournal.com]

As long as you're not Anonymous, I'm not worried.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Kippur is not Anonymous, Kippur likes her publicity.

[authoressarktos.livejournal.com]

I'm rather dissappointed Eragon isn't mentioned in this list. Although, I suppose it goes without saying Kippur could spork him and his little dragon too quicker than you could say 'plot-hole' ;D

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Eragon does not exist in Kippur's reality.

[authoressarktos.livejournal.com]

What a fabulous reality that must be! *envious*