(no subject)

[kippurbird]

More list:

• There is no conspiracy.
• Screaming that one of the shelves has fallen and I can't get up isn't funny anymore.
• It was never funny in the first place.
  
• The firewall doesn't protect us from the evil space monkeys.
  
• It is not part of the conspiracy
• there is no conspiracy
• Setting the books up like dominoes is unacceptable.
  
• Stacking the books up to see how high you can get them before they fall is also unacceptable.
  
• Setting the Due Date for a book to a date three months past is wrong. I will not do that.
  
• They are "Patrons" not "Stupid people interrupting my internet time" I will refer to them as such.
• No more Conga lines.
  
• or Toga Parties
• Keg parties
• Disco
  
• or even Israeli dancing, even if this IS a Jewish University.
• We are the "American Jewish University, formally known as the University of Judaism" not "Formally known as Prince"
• Patrons may not work off fines in the library if they don't have the money.
• Working off fines is not an option at all.
  
• I will not tell people that they need to make a reservation to take a reserved book out.
  
• When the Librarian comes in I will not go "Shhh... he's one of them" to whomever I'm talking to.
  
• There is no conspiracy
• I will not direct people to the non-existent card catalog.
  
• The circulation desk is not a proper place for a nap.
  
• Shoes must be worn at all times.
• On the feet
• one on each foot.
  
• There will be no cart racing in the stacks.
  
• FH stands for Fiction Hebrew not Fuck Hebrew
• One bible is not like any other bible.
  
• The Russians are not coming.
  
• When someone calls and asks me "Where are we located?" I will not answer "in the Library" it's not helpful.
  
• There is no secret code in the way the books are shelved.
  
• There is no conspiracy.
  
• Gremlins did not eat the missing book.
• When the Internet goes down, I will call IT. I will not say that it's a part of the conspiracy
• There is no conspiracy.
  
• I will not run off with the cash box giggling.
  
• When someone asks where the Giniza^[*] is, I will not say, "Bless you" and offer them a tissue.
• What'll you give me? Is not a proper answer for "can you help me"
  
• I will not randomly delete records in the database
• or items
• call numbers
• I will not put "Help! Help! I'm trapped in a basement!" in the "NOTE    500"   line.
  
• Or "Call me at such and such phone number"
• this space for rent
• why are you reading this?
• This is part of the library conspiracy
• There is no conspiracy
• Or anything else in the NOTE    500      line.
  
• I will not lock the library before closing time.
  
• I will not build a "card castle" with the books.
• The "Elders of Zion" is not true.
  
• I will  not insinuate that it is.
  
• There is no Jewish Conspiracy . 
• Unless it is Purim or Halloween, costumes are not allowed
• Silly hats are Okay.
  
• And only hats
• Sarcasm is not an appropriate response to patrons questions.

^[*]
A Giniza is where holy books or papers with the name of God written in are placed before they can be given a respectful burial.

Comments

[berseker.livejournal.com]

You say there´s no conspiracy?

*gasp*

YOU´RE ONE OF THEM!

*backs away slowly*

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

>.> Shhh... they're watching! They're... OHMIGAWDNO!! NO!! *Loud screaming*

[thelittlebudgie.livejournal.com]

"Or "Call me at such and such phone number"" reminded me of this: http://www.robandelliot.cycomics.com/archive.php?id=225

Also, I've found that Christian church groups don't care for it either when you refer to them as "formerly known as Prince."

A+++ Fantastic sequel.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

*laughs at the comic*

Amazing how many groups don't like that. Strange.

^_^

[christinaathena.livejournal.com]

What comic? I don't see anything. :-(

[pandoras-closet.livejournal.com]

Hee hee hee.

Nice.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Thank you. Glad to put a little bit of a smile in your day.

[zoe-i-am.livejournal.com]

Shoes must be worn at all times.
On the feet
one on each foot.

That one always gives me trouble! I'm loving these lists.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Isn't it difficult? :D

Glad you're enjoying it.

[emily-goddess.livejournal.com]

There is no secret code in the way the books are shelved

But there might as well be, if your Uni library uses LoC, but your school librarians only ever taught you Dewey Decimal and never even mentioned that the LoC system exists. *grumble* But, once I got the hang of LoC, I actually liked it better, so...


How often do patrons need the Giniza? I know you need to bury a damaged Torah, but I can't imagine when else you'd have the Name of God written down, or how often that happens.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

But there might as well be, if your Uni library uses LoC, but your school librarians only ever taught you Dewey Decimal and never even mentioned that the LoC system exists. *grumble* But, once I got the hang of LoC, I actually liked it better, so...

You think that's bad? We're in the process of switching over from Dewy to LC. The poor student helpers get so confused.

Not that often, but we have people who'll come over especially to drop things off for it. Like old bibles or mezzuzah scrolls, things like that.

[emily-goddess.livejournal.com]

Switching over can't be fun. Do you have to move a lot of the books? Is the library half Dewey, half LoC, or did you just switch it all at once?

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

It's half Dewy, half LC. And we're still switching. We don't have the money to do a straight switch over. IN theory all the books have records with LC call numbers, we just have to relabel them. But that's just the theory. So we're kinda halted in the process.

[jacedraccus.livejournal.com]

I feel sorry for anyone that can't afford a library fine. And a little 'meh' for incurring the fine.

There is no conspiracy.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

You'd be surprised how easy it is. Especially for students who are busy doing other things than paying attention to when a book is due. But yes, it's not that hard to pay.

[dryaunda.livejournal.com]

A Giniza is where holy books or papers with the name of God written in are placed before they can be given a respectful burial.

I thought it was supposed to be "G*d" outside of sacred texts. What's that do to your entry?

[emily-goddess.livejournal.com]

I've never understood why people write "G*d" instead of "God," since the G-word is His title, not His name. OK, I guess I do understand, but it's still interesting to me.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

That goes back, I think, to the idea of fences. A lot of Jewish Tradition is about putting fences around things so that you don't accidentally break a commandment.

Writing the word "God" instead of "G-d" may look like you're writing the actual name of God which would be wrong, so to make sure you don't do that you write "G-D" instead.

It's one of the reasons why fowl is considered meat now.

[christinaathena.livejournal.com]

It's one of the reasons why fowl is considered meat now. Why wouldn't fowl be considered meat? It's the flesh of an animal, isn't it?

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Fowl wasn't considered meat because it's not red meat. And there was no milk that came from it. But then people started to say... well isn't it kinda like meat? And thus... the fence.

[christinaathena.livejournal.com]

Ah, the chicken-with-milk issue. Which seems odd since the Biblical verse only mentions serving a kid with the milk of its mother, and not even talking about other animals ...

Then again, religious laws are often far from rational in any faith. ^_^

[emily-goddess.livejournal.com]

It's one of the reasons why fowl is considered meat now

Meaning, no cheese with your chicken?

The idea of fences kind of makes sense, but I don't necessarily agree with it. Firstly, because God would know whether or not you meant to break the commandment - but I know that actions carry weight in Judaism regardless of intention. More importantly, though, I have to think that you get more points for intentionally avoiding a sin than you do for not even letting yourself be exposed to it...like, going to a diner and not ordering bacon is worth more than going somewhere that doesn't even serve bacon. Is this making sense? But I'm coming from an understanding of Christianity and Islam, where the struggle of rightiousness over free will is a constant theme; maybe if you're part of the Covenant, not committing a sin at all is more important than personal resistance to sin.

Sorry, that was really long.

BTW, are you Jewish, or do you just work at the library?

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

No cheese with my chicken.

Actions are more important that intention. You can intend to do a lot of things, but it doesn't make a difference in the world if they're not done. After all, what's better, thinking that you'd like to donate money to a worthy cause, or actually doing it? You may not want to do it, but you did do it anyway, and that's what makes the difference. You don't get points for intentionally avoiding a sin in Judaism. You get points for doing good things. There is no struggle of righteousness over free will. Free will allows us to be righteous. The commandments in Judaism are more positive orientated. It's not about avoidance but of doing the right thing.

I am quite Jewish. Have been all my life. :D

[emily-goddess.livejournal.com]

Where do eggs fall? Are they considered meat, or dairy, or neither?

(It's probably rude to grill religious people on their religions, but damn it, it's just so bloody interesting. Still, if I'm bothering you, please do say so)

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

And Lo' we descended into the valley of Rabbinic argumentation and discussion etc.

A Rabbinic Ruling is that since the words on the Internet don't really "exist" in any sort of permanent form, then it's Okay to write the name of God. HOWEVER, if I were to be writing a document on the computer that would be printed, I would write "G-D". There's another ruling, that says that xeroxed copies don't count as Geniza material though a lot of the Rabbinical students here are not to happy about that, so they don't follow it.

It's really just some sort of grab bag when it comes to these sort of things. :D

[dryaunda.livejournal.com]

So much for giving your entry superpowers...

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Hee.

[emily-goddess.livejournal.com]

Do you happen to recall why photocopies don't count? 'Cause that's really interesting to me.

[/religion major]

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

No. I don't. I tried looking it up too. It was a ruling by Rabbi Eliot Dorff who is THE rabbi for the University of Judaism now known as American Jewish University.

I'll try to look it up though when I get back to work on Monday.