Eragon Redux, Chapter four
Apr. 24th, 2007 11:15 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kippurbirdChapter four is here! We look at Durza and Arya's terrible and tragic relationship. Much thanks for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
canadianevil for her help with it, as always.
Eragon Redux
Warning Some not so nice torture stuff.
Durza looked at the chained elf, a smile ghosting across his lips as the voices whispered in pleasure. At one time, she could have been beautiful, lovely even, but now, with a week's worth of grime and sweat and blood on her, with the long cuts from the lashes and the bruises from the beatings, it would be impossible to tell she was one of the fair folk, except for her ears. He tilted his head a little, lips pursing thoughtfully. Perhaps they should trim those ears, make her all but mortal.
The room smelled of excrement, and the mold that grew in the dim light. Arya hung in chains from the wall below the only lamp, too weak to even stand, her body covered in the roughest garment they'd found.
"How are you feeling this morning?" Durza asked as the spirits echoed and hissed in his mind, wanting blood, wanting to see the elf-woman scream. He pushed them away- he needed information from her. Then... then he would indulge the voices.
Arya raised her head a little, looking at him with pain-soaked green eyes that still held a bit of the defiance that had brought her so low. Her lip curled and contempt flared in her face as she tried to spit at him, but all she managed was to dribble down her chin. He clicked his tongue disapprovingly, pulling the hem of her shift up to wipe the spittle from her skin.
"Now, that isn't polite. I'm trying to have a conversation, and you can't even manage a reply." He picked up a pitcher and poured water into a crystal goblet, directly in front of her eyes. He could see how her eyes watched the water, thirsty and desperate. He could almost touch her desire for the water, pick it up in his hands and taunt her with it. He couldn't remember when they'd fed her last. Two or three days ago, perhaps? She must be hungry. Even elves had to eat sometime.
He sipped the water delicately, watching the tip of her tongue snaking out to lick cracked lips. "Would you like some?"
She said nothing, her eyes never moving from the goblet.
"Come on now, it's only water," he crooned, lifting it to her lips and tilting it so it splashed against her closed mouth. "It won't hurt you, Arya."
She didn't take it, letting her head drop away and spilling the water on the ground. Durza heard one of the voices in the splash, whispering to him about elves and meat. They didn't eat it for fear of becoming like the animal, stupid and hunted and afraid. He smiled again. He'd tell the guards that that should be her only food.
He stroked her face gently, smiling as she twitched away from his hand. "Just answer my questions and you'll be free. Where is the egg?"
"I won't tell you," she rasped, the only words she'd said during her imprisonment. He grabbed her hair and yanked viciously, one of the voices gibbering in glee as she gasped in pain. It wrested control for a moment, twisting and pulling her hair until she cried out hoarsely. Durza forced it back, pushing it deeper into his mind and snarling at his lack of control.
"Where are the Varden?"
Her lip curled and she spat again, this time managing to get a glob onto his pants. He slapped her and watched her head snap back and hit the wall, getting another hiss of pain.
"Be nice, I said," he murmured, cupping her chin. "We won't get anywhere if you keep behaving like an animal."
Durza frowned as Arya's eyes closed. He wrapped his fingers around her neck, shaking off the voices that murmured to squeeze and snap and suffocate. "Simply tell me, and this will be over. You can go home, see the the sun and the stars and the trees again. Isn't that what you elves like, Princess Arya?"
She glowered at him, and he smiled serenely, digging his nails in, watching flowers of blood blossom from where they pressed. "Or you can stay here, in this dirty, disgusting room, your only company the guards- they do enjoy having you, you know."
His hand wandered over her body and he laughed at the quivers of disgust he could feel. "Do you really want another night of that? Their grunts and moans and seed, staining your pure elvish body? Just tell us what we need to know and you'll be set free."
She shook her head, glaring up at him through greasy strands of hair. "The egg is beyond your reach and mine. The Varden would have moved as soon as my capture was heard of. There is nothing I can tell you, Shade."
It was more than he'd heard from her in a while and he laughed. "We'll get it from you soon, elf. Don't worry."
The voices wanted to kill her, see her finally bleed, but he couldn't let them. She was lying, there had to be some kernel of information, however small, that could be gleaned from her. He scraped his fingers down her face and the blood trickled over the scabs from the last scratches. "It can only get worse if you don't give in. We have things you've never even had nightmares about."
He shuddered in pleasure. "I think you need to know what we will really do to break you." He turned away from her, going to the ever-present guard outside the door. A quiet word had a flogger brought, a wicked thing with steel barbs on the end. Durza caressed the handle, and came back over to Arya, feeling an even wider smile growing on his lips.
"Do you know what this will do to you? These barbs will tear out pieces of your flesh with each stroke- just little ones, but it will still hurt. Sometimes they poison them. I really don't know if they've done it this time." He laughed and stroked the lashes. "Are you ready to talk? Because after this, Princess, there is no going back."
The elf just shook her head. "I can't tell you anything."
"As you wish," Durza smiled, and tore off the shift that covered her, exposing the bruised and scabbed flesh of her stomach. He raised his arm, and in one blow had the elf-bitch screaming.
canadianevil for her help with it, as always. Eragon Redux
Warning Some not so nice torture stuff.
Durza looked at the chained elf, a smile ghosting across his lips as the voices whispered in pleasure. At one time, she could have been beautiful, lovely even, but now, with a week's worth of grime and sweat and blood on her, with the long cuts from the lashes and the bruises from the beatings, it would be impossible to tell she was one of the fair folk, except for her ears. He tilted his head a little, lips pursing thoughtfully. Perhaps they should trim those ears, make her all but mortal.
The room smelled of excrement, and the mold that grew in the dim light. Arya hung in chains from the wall below the only lamp, too weak to even stand, her body covered in the roughest garment they'd found.
"How are you feeling this morning?" Durza asked as the spirits echoed and hissed in his mind, wanting blood, wanting to see the elf-woman scream. He pushed them away- he needed information from her. Then... then he would indulge the voices.
Arya raised her head a little, looking at him with pain-soaked green eyes that still held a bit of the defiance that had brought her so low. Her lip curled and contempt flared in her face as she tried to spit at him, but all she managed was to dribble down her chin. He clicked his tongue disapprovingly, pulling the hem of her shift up to wipe the spittle from her skin.
"Now, that isn't polite. I'm trying to have a conversation, and you can't even manage a reply." He picked up a pitcher and poured water into a crystal goblet, directly in front of her eyes. He could see how her eyes watched the water, thirsty and desperate. He could almost touch her desire for the water, pick it up in his hands and taunt her with it. He couldn't remember when they'd fed her last. Two or three days ago, perhaps? She must be hungry. Even elves had to eat sometime.
He sipped the water delicately, watching the tip of her tongue snaking out to lick cracked lips. "Would you like some?"
She said nothing, her eyes never moving from the goblet.
"Come on now, it's only water," he crooned, lifting it to her lips and tilting it so it splashed against her closed mouth. "It won't hurt you, Arya."
She didn't take it, letting her head drop away and spilling the water on the ground. Durza heard one of the voices in the splash, whispering to him about elves and meat. They didn't eat it for fear of becoming like the animal, stupid and hunted and afraid. He smiled again. He'd tell the guards that that should be her only food.
He stroked her face gently, smiling as she twitched away from his hand. "Just answer my questions and you'll be free. Where is the egg?"
"I won't tell you," she rasped, the only words she'd said during her imprisonment. He grabbed her hair and yanked viciously, one of the voices gibbering in glee as she gasped in pain. It wrested control for a moment, twisting and pulling her hair until she cried out hoarsely. Durza forced it back, pushing it deeper into his mind and snarling at his lack of control.
"Where are the Varden?"
Her lip curled and she spat again, this time managing to get a glob onto his pants. He slapped her and watched her head snap back and hit the wall, getting another hiss of pain.
"Be nice, I said," he murmured, cupping her chin. "We won't get anywhere if you keep behaving like an animal."
Durza frowned as Arya's eyes closed. He wrapped his fingers around her neck, shaking off the voices that murmured to squeeze and snap and suffocate. "Simply tell me, and this will be over. You can go home, see the the sun and the stars and the trees again. Isn't that what you elves like, Princess Arya?"
She glowered at him, and he smiled serenely, digging his nails in, watching flowers of blood blossom from where they pressed. "Or you can stay here, in this dirty, disgusting room, your only company the guards- they do enjoy having you, you know."
His hand wandered over her body and he laughed at the quivers of disgust he could feel. "Do you really want another night of that? Their grunts and moans and seed, staining your pure elvish body? Just tell us what we need to know and you'll be set free."
She shook her head, glaring up at him through greasy strands of hair. "The egg is beyond your reach and mine. The Varden would have moved as soon as my capture was heard of. There is nothing I can tell you, Shade."
It was more than he'd heard from her in a while and he laughed. "We'll get it from you soon, elf. Don't worry."
The voices wanted to kill her, see her finally bleed, but he couldn't let them. She was lying, there had to be some kernel of information, however small, that could be gleaned from her. He scraped his fingers down her face and the blood trickled over the scabs from the last scratches. "It can only get worse if you don't give in. We have things you've never even had nightmares about."
He shuddered in pleasure. "I think you need to know what we will really do to break you." He turned away from her, going to the ever-present guard outside the door. A quiet word had a flogger brought, a wicked thing with steel barbs on the end. Durza caressed the handle, and came back over to Arya, feeling an even wider smile growing on his lips.
"Do you know what this will do to you? These barbs will tear out pieces of your flesh with each stroke- just little ones, but it will still hurt. Sometimes they poison them. I really don't know if they've done it this time." He laughed and stroked the lashes. "Are you ready to talk? Because after this, Princess, there is no going back."
The elf just shook her head. "I can't tell you anything."
"As you wish," Durza smiled, and tore off the shift that covered her, exposing the bruised and scabbed flesh of her stomach. He raised his arm, and in one blow had the elf-bitch screaming.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-04-24 06:58 pm (UTC)You can go home, see the the sun and the stars and the trees again. Isn't that what you elves like, Princess Arya?
Heh, nice. I´ll consider this an sublte criticism to Paolini´s own views of the elves.
And I see you didn´t gave Arya her rape-preventing spell. Oh, well. I guess Eragon will just have to deal.
and Paolini would never had the balls to do this(first comment deleted because I messed up the tags u.u)
no subject
Date: 2007-04-24 07:05 pm (UTC)I found the idea of the spirits an interesting one, but by making it all the spirits fault, it negated Durza's responsibility in what he did. This way, he's responsible for what he does, but it's because of the spirit's influence.
The meat idea came along with, "The elves are vegetarians... but they still wear leather" how does that work? The reason that Paolini had was just... stupid. This is original and it works.
And I see you didn´t gave Arya her rape-preventing spell. Oh, well. I guess Eragon will just have to deal.
The rape preventing spell was idiotic. Paolini didn't want his heroine despoiled. But that's unrealistic, so it had to go.
What Eragon does with Arya will be FASCINATING.
no subject
Date: 2007-04-24 07:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-24 11:53 pm (UTC)I was wondering. What about Murtagh? Are you planning to introduce him sooner? Not that his appearance bothered me in the book, no, but I have a thing with important characters who shows up in the second half of the book... so I was just wondering.
A side note here: I googled "derivative fantasy fiction", and the second phrase that came up was Readers who have no patience with derivative fantasy fiction will not want to spend their time reading 'Eragon'. It's just not for you.
This is starting to get creepy.
no subject
Date: 2007-04-25 01:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-24 08:00 pm (UTC)If you decide to continue this, you HAVE to let Durza trim her ears- imagine how the other elves would shun her, both for her appearance AND apparent torture. And they would, if they're as vain as Oromis claims they are. Maybe you could salvage an interesting character out of the cardboard cutout Paolini made ;)
Durza is made of awesome in this. At least, the way you write him!
no subject
Date: 2007-04-24 08:06 pm (UTC)Durza is most definitely going to trim her ears. He is trying to utterly degrade her after all. She's not going to come out smelling like crushed pine needles after this. And trying to salvage the characters into interesting ones is the entire point of this exercise.
And yes, Durza is awesome, and utterly fascinating. When well written.
no subject
Date: 2007-04-24 08:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-24 08:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-24 09:11 pm (UTC)This scene isn't based off of any scene in the book, it's completely new. We decided to put it in, because we needed to take a break from Eragon and we wanted to see what Durza was up to.
no subject
Date: 2007-04-24 10:22 pm (UTC)His hand wandered over her body and he laughed at the quivers of disgust he could feel. "Do you really want another night of that?["]
Were this a real woman, I'd wager "No!" This is Elf-Sue though, so I like to think "yes, yes, yes!" I bet she'd be more upset about her appearance than anything else.
(I hope this isn't too potent for the crack bunnies. I don't want to get in trouble again...)
no subject
Date: 2007-04-25 01:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-25 12:13 am (UTC)(No worries, just kidding.)
no subject
Date: 2007-04-25 01:38 am (UTC)Anyway, good job. Nasty and made me squirm a bit but full of more feeling than Paolini could ever match. :3
no subject
Date: 2007-04-25 07:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-25 09:26 am (UTC)I would just like to say how absolutely awesome your version of Durza is. His POV is as unique as it is insanely creepy; I applaud you. ^^
I notice there's actually a REASON for Arya to be poisoned now, rather than her random dosing with Ye Olde Poisonous Poison for reasons of cheap angst.
no subject
Date: 2007-04-25 06:20 pm (UTC)Yes and that's the entire point. We're giving reasons to everything.