Eldest part twelve

[kippurbird]

Chapters The Dagshelgr Invocation, the Pinewood City


Summary

So, while we did escape with our lives and didn't have to see what a sex scene written by Paolini was like, we do get some other fun stuff in these chapters.

We begin with Eragon trying to catch the elves waking up. Apparently he's never seen them asleep or even with their eyes closed. I'm going to assume that the elves do blink however. Elf one and Elf Two talk in tandem. They don't have any sort of personality that makes them different from one another. Paolini has always referenced them as having the same reactions to everything. People on drugs don't really have much on personality either. Du Weldenvarden is starting to sound like Mirkwood, "magic permeates the air, the water, and the earth. In places it has affected the animals. Sometimes strange creatures are found roaming the forest, and not all of them friendly." (208). Or any sort of generic fantasy forest while we're at it. Nothing really special.

Before we can get too deep into what sort of creatures are there, someone is scrying on Eragon. His hammer gets hot. That would be the silver hammer pendent that Gannel gave him to prevent people scrying on him. And if someone is scrying on him, it'll heat up. Now, the hammer runs on Eragon's magical powers, which seems rather silly. Gannel said that if it gets to hot or starts to drain his powers he has to take it off. Which means that it's no longer protecting him. Which means that some one can scry on him. Which defeats the purpose of the anti-scrying device.

Eragon tells Ayra and the two elves and Ayra says something portant which include "Events in Alageisia move apace," which I could swear is from somewhere. Anyway after that small interlude they go on until they run into a waterfall. They have to carry their supplies up a path. Saphira suggests taking them all by herself to which one of the elves says oh no that would be dishonorable! She does it anyway and we get Ayra laughing for the first time. She sounds like a mockingbird. Not quite the thing I would want to be compared to. I've heard mockingbirds and they don't really trill. It's a sort of harsh hacking noise. I think he was trying for Nightingale, sort of bird but picked the wrong bird.

Wikipedia describes the mocking bird's cry as such, "The Northern Mockingbird, in addition to being a good mimic, is also one of the loudest and most constantly vocal of birds. It often sings through the night, especially unmated males, or when the moon is full. It sings year-round except sometimes for the late-summer moulting season. Individual males have repertoires of 50 to 200 songs; females sing as well, but more quietly and less often than males. Mockingbirds usually sing the loudest in the twilight of the early morning when the sun is on the horizon.

In addition to its well-known song, the Northern Mockingbird utilizes a variety of calls to communicate specific information. As with its song, these calls are among some of the louder sounds produced by birds of its size. Mockingbirds make a harsh, raspy noise when chasing other birds out of their territory. A similar but distinct call is used when defending against predators like a hawk or falcon. Other calls include a wheezing noise, a "chuck" note, and a very piercing series of notes "high low" repeated twice."

Not really something pleasant. I have a friend who hates the mockingbirds around his house because of their cry. Eragon loves it. Obviously Paolini's desire to have Ayra compared to Luthien kinda fell wrong.

So, they go up the cliff and walked to where they meet up with Saphira again. Ayra then tells Eragon and Saphira that they have to keep hidden until they meet with the queen, because they're going past an elf city. Saphira is loathed to leave him because of his crippled back. Eragon's back is not crippled. His back has a scar on it. The scar randomly hurts... but he's not crippled. If his back was crippled he wouldn't be able to get up and walk around straight.

They make camp for the night. There are a lot of mosquitoes. And then Eragon starts hearing singing. It's apparently a holy night... um... wait... not holy night, that would indicate a religion. It is a saturnalias. Which according to Dictionary.com means " unrestrained revelry; orgy." It also means, "the festival of Saturn, celebrated in December in ancient Rome as a time of unrestrained merrymaking." So, basically the stoned hippie elves are having an orgy. "We sing in the ancient language, and the lyrics weave spells of passion and longing that are difficult to resist, even for us." (page 213)

"It is to keep the forests healthy and fertile. Every spring we sing for the trees, we sing for the plants and we sing for the animals. Without us, Du Weldenvarden would be half its size." As if to emphasize her point, birds, deer, squirrels -red and gray- striped batgers, foxes, rabbits, wolves, frogs, toads and tortoises, and every other near by animal forsook their hiding and began to rush madly about with a cacophony of yelps and cries. "They are searching for mates," explained Arya. "All across Du Weldenvarden, in each of our cities, elves are singing this song. The more the participate, the stronger the spell, and the greater Du Weldenvarden will be this year." (page 214)

Now, I'm fairly certain that's not proper forest management, making all the animals hot and horny at the same time. Animals have natural cycles and different times of the year that they do the mating thing. Forcing them to get all hot and bothered on one night of the season or something would throw them out of whack. Plus, it might not be a good thing to have all the animals giving lots of birth if the forest can't sustain the life, say because it's a drought season or something. After all it takes more than just magic words to make a forest grow.

Ayra protects Eragon and Dwarf by putting a spell on them. Eragon and Dwarf have a sleepless night because of all the hot and heavy sex going on. The two elves react the same way to not being able to join the song. They pace in circles. They really don't have distinct personalities. They're cardboard cut outs with pointy ears.

Then Saphira shows up, all hot and bothered. No, really.

"The forestshe said, is alive. And I am alive. My blood burns like never before. It burns as yours burns when you think of Ayra. I... understand!" (Page 215)

Now, before I get to this actual line, in it's context, let us remember that Eragon and Saphira are supposed to be more like one mind than two. (Isn't that what Eragon told us many pages ago?)So, shouldn't Eragon be feeling all hot and bothered too? With his blood burning and jumping with Ayra. Mrr... now I have the image of Saphira jumping Ayra and molesting her. Actually, that's all I can think of to say about this line. But I'll get to it more later.

Eragon, instead of having Ayra put a spell on her so she's not affected, just sort of stands there with her. And Ayra stands with her on the other side. It's symbolic, you see. Saphira in the midst of her sexual desires is connecting Eragon and Ayra, thus showing that they will eventually become sexually involved.

The next morning Saphira is no longer horny and she needs to think about what she just felt. Ayra tells one of the cardboard elves to go ahead and get them horses. The horses are like unicorns without the horns. All of them are proud stallions. There appear to be no geldings or mares in Algeisia. So, that only leaves the possibility of Male Pregnant Horses. Male pregnant zombie horses.

Our Mpreg Zombie Elf horses respond to commands in the ancient language and you will not fall unless you deliberately throw yourself off. They bare a rider only as long as they consent to. They're perfect and wonderful.

Saphira then gets mopey about not having a mate. She says some doleful things like, "Every creature, no matter how pure or monstrous, has a mate of their own kind. Yet I have none." (page 217). It's very sad and Eragon feels sad for her, reminding her that there are two more dragon eggs in existence. She then gets even more whiny saying well what if they don't hatch or what if they're not male or if they'd be fit mates.

But then instead of dwelling in such emotional and potentially character developing thoughts she stops saying she shouldn't be feeling such things. Eragon gives her some platitudes and they're off. When Eragon mentions it to Ayra she says something deep and meaningful. "It is one of Galbatorix's greatest crimes. I do not know if a solution exists, but we can hope. We must hope." (218)

We then get some meaningless description of the really big forest. Which is really big and green and Eragon gets confused as to which way is which. There's time passing but I don't know how much time has past. So, they could have been in the forest for days, weeks, or a couple of hours. From looking at the map, I would guess a couple of weeks. But knowing Paolini's odd way of doing things and abuse of horses I could be wrong. And probably am.

In any case they ride, it's green and mystical feeling. And then they run into an elf.

In the late afternoon, the gloom lifted to reveal an elf standing before them, sheathed in a brilliant ray of light that slanted down from the ceiling. He was garbed in flowing robes, with a circlet of silver upon his brow. His face was old, noble and serene.

"Eragon," murmured Ayra. "Show him your palm and your ring."

Baring his right hand, Eragon raised it so that first Brom's ring and then the dedwey igasia was visible. The elf smiled, closed his eyes, and spread his arms in a gesture of welcome. He held the posture.

"The way is clear," Said Arya. At a soft command, her steed moved forward. They rode around the elf -like water parting at the base of a weathered boulder- and when they had all passed, he straighted, clasped his hands, and vanished as the light that illuminated him ceased to exist.

Who is he? asked Saphira.

Ayra said, "He is Gilderien the Wise, Prince of House Miolandra, wielder of the White Flame of Vandil, and the guardian of Ellesmera since the days of Du Fyrn Skulblaka, our war with the dragons. None may enter the city unless he permits it." (page 221)

Now, besides the fact that Paolini has just put a ceiling in a forest this passage confuses me greatly. This elf shows up out of nowhere and vanishes just as suddenly. Was he really there? Did he teleport? Or was it an illusion? And how does he know where people are going to show up? He must be a really busy elf always popping in and out whenever someone shows up to enter. And the city is in the middle of a forest. It wouldn't be too difficult to, I don't know, ride around somewhere else and enter it that way. I mean there are no walls that are baring their entry. (It kinda reminds me of that wall the French built to keep the Nazis out). The elf appeared to be unarmed (and kinda stoned). If I were an invading force, I'd just take with me a bunch of men with me and charge. Unless there are other protections around him. Eragon should have asked about that.

And then there's the whole "wielder of the White Flame of Vandil" that sounds suspiciously like a religious sort of thing. Vandil being a god. But we know that the elves don't believe in gods. So, who is Vandil and why would Gilderien be wielding his flame. (Unless we were to take it into a sexual connotation, then it would make sense.) But Paolini has dropped a pseudo-religious sounding concept into his non-religous elves, much like the stars watching over people. It's almost as if he's trying to give his elves a deep and mythical heritage which contradicts their supposed atheist beliefs.

Then, as a parting note, there's that simile that he put in there, the one about water parting around a boulder. Which was completely superfluous. That didn't need to be there and completely jarred me out of the story.

They enter the city. It's amazing. All the trees and houses seem to be melded into one. The elves are happy and singing and dancing and stoned. They praise Saphira (somehow knowing that she's female, despite the fact that Eragon didn't). The party goes to a particular tree and climb up it to meet the queen. There's a white raven that can speak. And a long sueish description of the queen. They all kneel to her and it turns out that Ayra is the queen's daughter.

Anyone see that coming?

Comments

[thelittlebudgie.livejournal.com]

Simple explanation for Elfworld:
1) Take the quote "magic permeates the air, the water, and the earth. In places it has affected the animals. Sometimes strange creatures are found roaming the forest, and not all of them friendly."
2) Substitute marijuana for magic.
3) Reread with a deeper understanding.

"Before we can get too deep into what sort of creatures are there, someone is scrying on Eragon."

Now, what point would it be to scry on Eragon? After all, if you've never seen all the air molecules around him, you can't see where he is. That's right, pwned by your own canon, Paolini!

"There are a lot of mosquitoes."

I read that as "They ate a lot of mosquitoes", for some reason. Would've made it more interesting, at least.

Male pregnant zombie horses. Well... At least now the mPreggers can say that it's canon.

I suppose the one possible justification for Paolini's constant references to the non-existant elvish religion is that they've culturally evolved past it, like how despite the aetheist movement people still say things like "Oh my god" or "God save the Queen." However, I honestly doubt that was what he was trying for.

"They praise Saphira (somehow knowing that she's female, despite the fact that Eragon didn't)."

This reader humbly suggests that Eragon didn't know what parts to look for.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

*snorts* Maybe they call Marijuana their herbal magic.

Now, what point would it be to scry on Eragon? After all, if you've never seen all the air molecules around him, you can't see where he is. That's right, pwned by your own canon, Paolini!

And by going on Paolini's rules, only someone who knows Eragon could scry on him. Though Galby couldn't scry on him, because they've never met. Unless Galby really IS Brom! Though all they would do is get static if they were never were where he is.

That could be it, but it doesn't feel like it.

[comamenos.livejournal.com]

Murtagh, maybe? Or one of the Vardens.

Speaking about Murtagh, where the hell is he? I liked him.

[(Anonymous)]

Simple explanation for Elfworld:
1) Take the quote "magic permeates the air, the water, and the earth. In places it has affected the animals. Sometimes strange creatures are found roaming the forest, and not all of them friendly."
2) Substitute marijuana for magic.
3) Reread with a deeper understanding.
I get it now! Elfworld is actually Arcata, CA! Go Arcata!

[starsong24.livejournal.com]

Now, I'm fairly certain that's not proper forest management, making all the animals hot and horny at the same time. Animals have natural cycles and different times of the year that they do the mating thing. Forcing them to get all hot and bothered on one night of the season or something would throw them out of whack.

Plus, the implication there is that without the elves doing all their orgy-passion-singing, the animals wouldn't come into heat ever. At all. Would never experience the desire to mate. I mean, if the elves have to sing a special breeding song to get all the animals to procreate, that probably means the animals aren't procreating otherwise.

Which begs the question of how there could be any animals there at all. Unless the elves imported them all.

Also, this song appears to make every creature get all sexually active, sentients included. Therefore the elves should be getting worked up by their own singing, and would soon forget to sing at all due to getting it on with the nearest person.

And the fact that Saphira's getting horny and immediately turns to Eragon is just slightly disturbing.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Well, according to Ayra they're doing it to help the animals become more fruitful. As if they were incapable of doing it on their own. Of course this spell appears to be rather general and will allow any animal to mate which may get bad genes in the genepool because normal breeding habits only allow the best fit to procreate.

Perhaps these magical animals that aren't friendly in the forest are really the deformed children of animals that shouldn't have mated.

I think the elves are just that special that they can screw and sing at the same time.

[comamenos.livejournal.com]

I didn´t get it. What exaclty is the Dagshelgr Invocation? The horny song?

Now, this religious thing is really intriguing... I think Limyael ranted about it some time ago... it´s pretty hard to create a culture without any kind of mystical/religious thinking, because you have to pay attention to every little detail. Something that Paolini is clearly not doing.

I bet Saphira will find a dragon boyfriend by the end of the trilogy. ^_^

[canadianevil.livejournal.com]

I bet it's Arya's dragon.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Yes, the Invocation is the horny song.

Paolini never pays attention to detail. He only paints with broad strokes. Which is why when looking at it from afar it looks okay, but when you really look at it, it doesn't make any sense.

[albijuli]

Saphira in the midst of her sexual desires is connecting Eragon and Ayra, thus showing that they will eventually become sexually involved.

I can see it now: "You're doing it wrong," Ayra hissed. [Insert vague but nevertheless purple prose here.]

Whoops. *resumes lurking*

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

We shall hopefully never get to see Paolini write a sex scene. If we do... then all hope will be lost for this world.

[comamenos.livejournal.com]

For some reason, the fact that the infertile elfs has a song to uh, fertilize the forest is bothering me.

I don´t know why. I mean, they can have a power that doesn´t work on thenselves, but I would like an explanation about it.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

The song only makes everyone horny. It doesn't actually make people fertile.

[pandorabox82.livejournal.com]

What threw me out of the story was the whole "sheathed in a brilliant ray of light that slanted down from the ceiling" line. That makes no sense, since they are in a FOREST, and last time I was walking in the woods, there was no magical roof over me. Has to make one wonder if that is how the elves make certain the forest can sustain the life they propagate through their song - a magical roof that provides climate control and can tell the head elf dude when someone is nearing the gates of the city.

But is Paolini clever enough to be implying that? Ah, that is the question.

[canadianevil.livejournal.com]

I think he just forgot the word 'canopy'.

[hungryblackmage.livejournal.com]

Then, as a parting note, there's that simile that he put in there, the one about water parting around a boulder. Which was completely superfluous. That didn't need to be there and completely jarred me out of the story.

That simile could have worked so well if his Prince of the House of Cats on the Keyboard had been...less of a pansy and more an elf with a strong, protective presence. A guardian that, y'know, looks like he can guard something. Then I can see the boulder simile working. Hell, that would have at least been a somewhat original idea in this Tolkien/Star Wars-rewritten piece of shit - making his elves something more than a bunch of spiritually confused stoners.

Oh Pao-Pao. Le Sigh.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

He wasn't a pansy. He was a stoner. Slight difference there. XD

But yes, that entire guardian scene was entirely nonthreatening. I haven't felt in danger this entire book. Or rushed either.

Hell, I don't even know what the plot is.

[thelittlebudgie.livejournal.com]

*grins* At first I thought you meant that it would be better if the cat walking on Pao-Pao's keyboard had been a protective elf.

Then again, maybe that would have been better.

[karma-kalisutah.livejournal.com]

When "saturnalias" came up, I laughed long and hard at Paolini's talent for using almost the right word. That was fun.

Then I read on.

It wasn't a mistake.

There is an actual orgy in Eldest.

My brain refuses to accept this information. I am in a state of abject denial. I think that you made the whole thing up.

Now, before I get to this actual line, in it's context, let us remember that Eragon and Saphira are supposed to be more like one mind than two. (Isn't that what Eragon told us many pages ago?)So, shouldn't Eragon be feeling all hot and bothered too?

Besides that, if the reason that Eragon can't have a relationship is because Saphira feels whatever Eragon does, how could Saphira's blood be "burning like never before" if it's burning the way Eragon's does for Ayra? Presumably, Saphira should have "burned" whenever Eragon did. Something does not add up here.

My hypothesis? Saphira made the whole thing up so that she could keep Eragon all for herself. That "soulmate" she was reffering to? Guess who that is, in her opinion.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Apparently he uses the word saturnalia again. And Eragon joins in. >:D

As for the whole bond thing... well, it's wishy washy depending on what page we're on.

[dove-cg.livejournal.com]

Or any sort of generic fantasy forest while we're at it. Nothing really special.

Mirkwood, the animals, and the elves living in it had more personality than this. Hell, the RIVER of Mirkwood had more personality than this! You're right, this whole line is horribly generic. And kind of fru-fru. u_u

Every spring we sing for the trees, we sing for the plants and we sing for the animals.

This is one of the stupidest paragraphs ever. For one thing, even while looking for a mate, an animal still needs to feed. Those wolves, foxes, and badgers should have been eating some of the other animals scampering about. For another, how the hell does their singing help the plants and trees (which are also plants) to do anything? Even if the trees can hear them, it isn't as if this song will help in any way. It's not as if they can move.

For that matter, how is it helping the animals? Just because they're suddenly all more apparent to the lacking-in-senses humanoids, doesn't mean that they are making it easier to find a mate by running around in the open like ninnies. Are they rushing to the nearest scent of another animal of their type? If that's the case, they still don't need to be in the open. They need to go quietly and swiftly around until they detect their own kind and then start their specific mating rituals. Not all animals make a sound, even when looking for a mate. (For that matter, wolves live in packs and only the dominant ones tend to mate. Unless there are a lot of lone wolves right there, they shouldn't be seeing some looking for mates.)

Incidentally, no one mentioned the time this happened but my guess would be during the day. Does it not affect the animals asleep currently? Do they sing through-out the night to excite the owls and bats too? How does everything hear them anyway? How many cities do they have?

This is another example of where Paolini put something in (in this case, the whole chapter) just because he thought it would be cool or 'it seemed like a good idea at the time.' The unicorn from the Last Unicorn seems to do more and useful things for her forest than these elves do for theirs.

Which defeats the purpose of the anti-scrying device.

Even outside of the Paolini-stupid version of scrying, I just can't imagine scrying to be that useful. For that matter, I can't think of any fantasy book, off the top of my head, that used it. I'm sure there are some, I just can't think of any right now. But you would think, with the ability to scry, that people would know a lot more than they usually do. I mean, how common an ability is scrying? How common are magic users? Yet the only time this was useful was when idiot Eragon saw Arya in his dreams (and I'm still muddled on how that worked or mattered, exactly.)

It seems pointless to have an anti-scrying device in the first place, really. Unless you can use it to overhear what someone is planning, which I don't think even the typical format of scrying is good for, it isn't that big of a deal. So, Galby may or may not find out Eragon is in elf-town. We can presume elf-town is impossible for him to conquer or he'd have it already. Big whoop if he finds out. Yeah, he knows Eragon isn't with the Varden, directly, at present. But unless he knows where the Varden is, which he supposedly doesn't, that doesn't matter. :P

wielder of the White Flame of Vandil

These guys are gonna be screwed when/if he dies. I really hope at least one of those annoying titles is what gives him this 'miraculous' ability and that he can pass it on to someone else before then.

Incidentally, Vandil could be a place. But why and how some specific place would have a white flame that could be wielded (and is capitalized), I really don't know. Maybe it's a type of magic? But if so, where does the source come from? Actual fire? Magic fire? The typical source? Who knows?

But yeah, with that many titles and jobs, this guy must never sleep. (Oh, apparently the elves don't sleep anyway. Or so the story suggests. Yay.) ;P

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

The river of Mirkwood was frickin awesome. But I'd never try and copy it. Why? Because everyone would say, "oh that's totally that river from Mirkwood."

The song happens at night. Which really doesn't help matters. As for the animals not attacking other animals, well they're all just one big happy family and don't prey on each other. Duh.


Scrying, if done right, could be useful. In my numerous D&D games, we found it to be VERY useful. Of course, we could actually see the area around where we were scrying. So it was actually be kinda useful.

[reverie-shadow.livejournal.com]

OSHI. You nearly killed me at the "Our Mpreg Zombie Elf horses" part. Seriously. I was choking on pizza while laughing so hard.
And even more so at the stoned elves.
I still can't believe he used the word "saturnalias" totally out of context. Or maybe it's more in context than we believe...?

But why does there have to be a white raven? Good GOD I can't stand it when people always use "white" everything. I suppose this is supposed to symbolize goodness and purity, but how many white things can Paolini have in his crap?

For some reason it didn't really occur to me that Arya was a princess. I suppose it was a tiny little piece of me that was hoping that once, just once, Pao Pao would do something I wouldn't have already expected.

Dammit.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Well, Mpreg Zombie horses is the only thing that makes sense in the context. I can't help it. I'm just dealing with the things given to me.

As for saturnalias, according to the dictionary, means revelry or orgy. From what Ayra was describing, that's exactly what was going on.

I don't know much about the white raven. But for some reason I have the image of Gandalf when thinking about it.

Of Course Arya is a princess. She's the one of Noble birth that Eragon is doomed. DOOOMMMED I tell you. To love.

[flameraven.livejournal.com]

Since it doesn't seem to have been mentioned already, the "weilder of the flame of Varnil" seems to be a really obvious LotR ripoff. At least, it brings to mind Gandalf's lines when he's on the bridge in Moria and is fighting off the Balrog. He says something along the lines of "I am a servant of the secret fire, weilder of the flame of Udu* (or whatever), etc." Which makes sense because Gandalf's got one of the elven rings. In Paolini it's just stupid.