Eldest part eleven

[kippurbird]

Chapters His Enemy's Face, Arrow to the Heart


Summary

Now, of all the chapters that I've looked at so far, in Eragon and Eldest, I can't say that anyone bothered me particularly much. Oh they were annoying, idiotic and just graaagging. His enemy's face? I hate.

It begins with Roran going to check up on Katrina. The two of them are cute together. And Elain, Hurst's wife, sends Katrina to bed. She then gives Roran an earful. It's the typical Katrina just gave up everything for you so you better really love her and this better not be some sort of youthful fancy speech and makes him promise that he'll care for her without grudge or resentment. She then brow beats him for not telling Sloan sooner and tells him that he has to go and apologize Sloan or else he'll regret it.

Roran goes to bed thinking about what Elain said to him and Katrina shows up in his room. I imagine they had sex. I will now express my eternal thanks to God that Paolini did not try and write a sex scene. Or if he did, it didn't make the cut. Thank you God for saving us the terror of reading a sex scene by Paolini. From the terrible similes that he would have used in reference to the act of sex and the horrible purple prose of Katrina and Roran finally feeling complete and knowing each other better than they ever knew each other before. You are truly a wonderful and awesome God who has spared us, your lowly readers and for that we give you our eternal thanks. Amen.

Later that night Roran and Katrina are attacked by six soldiers and the Ra'zac. Somehow they managed to make their move silently checks, despite the penalty of wearing armor and swords and everyone in the house failed their listen checks. The Ra'zac have Roran. They're telling the soldiers to tie him up. And then Katrina jumps them. She bites and claws them and manages to draw blood and they're not able to subdue her.

Six trained soldiers are unable to subdue her.

Thus giving Roran a chance to get his hammer and he becomes invincible because Katrina is in danger. He goes around smashing helmets in and is the unstoppable Juggernaut. So, the Ra'zac kidnap Katrina. When Roran goes after them, one of them grabs him by the wrist and he can't break free. It then bites him and Lets. Him. Go. The Ra'zac are obviously stronger than any one man. They could have easily taken down Roran by themselves. Hell they could have drugged him like they did Eragon and then taken him, without the need of soldiers (since their move silently checks are so awesome) and slipped off into the night with no one the wiser until the morning. Instead they break loudly into his room, thus giving up the element of surprise after managing to SNEAK quietly into the house, allow Roran near his weapon and kill off most of the soldiers or at least incapacitate them, kidnap the girl instead of getting him, and then when they have him in their hands, BITE him and let him go.

That is an utter fiasco. That is the most idiotic way I've ever seen to get someone you wanted.

But, it gets worse.

No, really.

Instead of taking Roran (who is probably bleeding to death) to the healer, they stopper up his wounds and let him come with the Katrina Rescue Party. Roran is injured. He is a liability. It may be his future wife that has been kidnapped, but he is still a liability and he should realize that it would be better for Katrina that he not go. But he has to be all manly and ignore the pain and go after her. They discover where the Ra'zac and soldiers got in. Apparently no one noticed a bunch of trees getting moved. This village must have a negative modifier on their listen checks or Paolini's loading his dice. And the watch doesn't make rounds so they didn't discover the Large Gaping Hole in their wall and raise the alarm. But of course, we couldn't have the alarm raised because then the Ra'zac couldn't have sneaked into the house and kidnapped Katrina. So Paolini deliberately makes his guards blind and dumb to move his story along instead of finding a probable way for them to capture Katrina.

When they reach the outskirts of the soldiers camp, the soldiers are rebelling against the Ra'zac. Which doesn't last long when the Ra'zac attacks the leader and kills them. The Ra'zac then say that they're going to go and that reinforcements are on the way. They call their rides, which are some sort creature that I'm not really sure what it looks like despite the awfully long description. They then go into a tent and take out a bound Katrina and Sloan.

Who is not tied up.

Why? Because he betrayed the village. He went to the flesh eating monsters in an effort to protect his daughter. Instead of trying to work things out with the man his beloved daughter loves he went to the flesh eating monsters.

Why?

Because he's evil.

Sloan protests them taking Katrina so they knock him out and take him too. He'll probably end up sacrificing his life for her and Roran at one point and giving them his blessing before dying... or end up the Ra'zac's snack.

The Ra'zac fly off and finally, Roran passes out. Why do I say finally? Because it's the most dramatic time for him to do so, just after seeing his beloved get carried away and betrayed by her own father. And Paolini needs to do a chapter end. So, our POV character goes unconscious.

So, this total and utter ruining of what little character Sloan had, as a man utterly devoted to his daughter gets completely pissed down the toilet in the name of drama and plot contrivance. And we're never given a reason to explain why Sloan does this. Sure, he protested a lot of the ideas that the village had, but he was also very big on protecting the village and his daughter. But all of this goes away, because he's evil. Why is he evil, because he doesn't agree with Eragon and later Roran. And in Paolini's cut and dried world, that's the only thing that can be.

Our second chapter goes back to Eragon.

The elves are still stoned. They act like Saphira is the most fascinating thing that they've ever seen and talk only about her when she's around. She must look really interesting in the drug haze. Maybe they're on LSD? They're also perpetually smiling, laughing and singing.

We get a wonderful infodump about the elves and about the humans. About eight hundred years ago the humans with their King named Palancar (also the name of the valley where Eragon grew up). Palancer was an idiot. Why? Because he attacked the Dragon Riders. Yes. He attacked the elves with the Large Flying Beasts that Breathe Fire and Can Do Magic. Three times.

The King's nobles being more intelligent than the king, sign a treaty with the dragon riders and get the king usurped and him and his family exiled. They stayed in the valley and the blood of kings still runs in the villages of Therinsford and Carvahall. Now, what Paolini is trying to do is make us, the readers go, oh the blood of kings! Eragon might be descended of usurped royalty! And so is Roran! But what good is it to be descended from kings, if the king was bloody useless? And being descended from a king doesn't give you any special properties, unless you're like Captain Carrot. Even still, why would you want someone descended from this particular king? He's obviously mentally unstable and useless. But this isn't what Paolini is going for. Instead he's trying to recapture the old cliche of the poor farm boy descended from exiled kings who discovers his destiny and becomes the rightful ruler of the land. It's probably going to be Roran.

This incident also made the Dragon Riders decide that they need to allow humans into their club. Not really the smartest idea. After all the humans haven't proved themselves to be trustworthy or intelligent. But then again, if they weren't allowed into the club then Galby couldn't have become a rider and if he didn't become a rider then he couldn't have betrayed them all and then Eragon couldn't have gotten his egg. Mmm... the logic astounds me.

We also learn that the elves became immortal. They weren't born that way. An interesting concept, but one that isn't delved into.

There's some more talk about where the humans came from and if they could get reinforcements from there. And then Saphira shows up from hunting so the conversation goes back to admiring her.

The final scene of the chapter involves Eragon finding a gyrfalcon with a broken wing and Arya shooting it through the breast. When Eragon asks her why she did it she says, "It was too injured for me to heal and would have died tonight or tomorrow. Such is the nature of things. I saved it hours of suffering." Some how I find this hard to believe. First of all, she didn't even examen the bird close up to discover the extent of its injuries. Second of all Eragon has healed worse with his magic. Surely Elf Sue with her even more magical abilities could have done something for it. A broken wing should hardly present a challenge to her. Yet for some reason it was beyond her abilities and she didn't even allow Eragon a chance to try. She just killed it. I think Paolini was trying to show how cold Ayra had become. But to be honest, I'm not really sure what he was trying to do here.

Comments

[x-trickster-x.livejournal.com]

Maybe they're on LSD? They're also perpetually smiling, laughing and singing.

Jebus, it sounds like bloomin' Woodstock in ElfLand.

It's horrible when people do that to characters. *sigh* Sloan was far more of a human than Eragon and Roran will ever be it seems but it was all given up because he's OMGEHEBIL!!111one and it would advance the plot. Damn you Paolini!

[thelittlebudgie.livejournal.com]

No rocking out, sadly.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

The only time I've ever seen someone that happy and laughing and singing is when they were on drugs. It's just not normal.

Sloan was a the closest to an interesting character we had in Carvahall. And all of it went to pot.

[indescane.livejournal.com]

Still, better Roran as king of the land than Eragon.

I nearly typed 'Paolini' there instead. Sure, Pao-Pao, I totally believe that the crazy ninja world-warping Stu is not your total self-insert. Totally.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Well, it would totally be Eragon, but for the fact that Eragon got that fortune that said that he will leave Algesia forever. So that only leaves Roran with the blood of kings who doesn't have some great destiny ahead of him.

[jacedraccus.livejournal.com]

I give up trying to ascribe any sort of sense to this. It used to be, well, things didn't sound so flattering in review, but looking at the actual text, you could see what he MEANT to do...

This, however, sounds beyond words. He obviously has no clue how unlikeable he's made Arya. Or how bizarre.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

I'd like to think of myself as pretty open minded, and I was having hopes for the whole Roran/Sloan bit... but the it just well... died a horrible slow death.

I doubt he has a clue. Ayra is likable because she's an uber wonderful Sue. Just like Eragon is likable because he's an uber wonderful Stu.

[berseker.livejournal.com]

He obviously has no clue how unlikeable he's made Arya. Or how bizarre.


Don´t you think it´s possible that he knows it? I mean, she´s so weird is downright creepy, made he´s doing it on purpose. For some reason.

Ok, I know we have no reason whatsoever to trust Paolini, but still... he´s surely going out of his way to make Arya looks like a sociopath.

[karma-kalisutah.livejournal.com]

I was spoiled and knew that this was coming, but that doesn't make it any less awful.

There are no words for "His Enemy's Face." Kill it dead with fire.

I think that the gyrfalcon scene was to show how much Arya and Eragon have in common. Sociopaths in love! That shouldn't be possible, but it's vomit-inducing cute.

[-youngblood-.livejournal.com]

"Sociopaths in love" reminded me of that song by Lemon Demon "Geeks in Love" (http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/geeks).

"When they see us down the street, they wish that they were sociopaths in love!"

[dragonwhishes.livejournal.com]

Well, to be honest, I have a sociopathic character that has a serious case of Stockholm Syndrome hero-worship for another character. But dammit, I at least tried to make it logical. And at least I know she's a bugfuck sociopathic bitch.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

I knew it was coming too... but I didn't realize how awful it was going to be played out. There were a hundred different ways it could have happened. He took the easiest and most cliched.

And it still doesn't make any sense. One of these days I want to have a talk with Paolini about what he was thinking. And beat him over the head with a large blunt object.

I am at a complete loss at the gyrfalcon scene.

[frodo-harry.livejournal.com]

do you mind if I steal your spiffy icon for my own evil purposes?

[sonic-sues.livejournal.com]

Roran goes to bed thinking about what Elain said to him and Katrina shows up in his room. I imagine they had sex. I will now express my eternal thanks to God that Paolini did not try and write a sex scene. Or if he did, it didn't make the cut. Thank you God for saving us the terror of reading a sex scene by Paolini. From the terrible similes that he would have used in reference to the act of sex and the horrible purple prose of Katrina and Roran finally feeling complete and knowing each other better than they ever knew each other before. You are truly a wonderful and awesome God who has spared us, your lowly readers and for that we give you our eternal thanks. Amen.

Knowing Paolini's lack of how things work in the real world, I imagine it would have included things like multiple orgasms. I refuse to think on it further.

[karma-kalisutah.livejournal.com]

I thought the fact that Eragon was not only written, and not only published, but actually became a best-seller already proved that there is no God. I believe who we need to be thanking is Paolini's largest audience demographic - or, more accurately, their parents.

[albijuli]

Didn't Paolini get in trouble for such a scene in a children's book?

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Knowing Paolini's lack of how things work in the real world, I imagine it would have included things like multiple orgasms.

Multiple simultaneous orgasms. XD

[christinaathena.livejournal.com]

If this were a decent author, I would be expecting that story about the king's incompetence to turn out to be propoganda, a story invented by the usurpers to justify their coup.

But, since it's Paolini, I rather doubt it.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Well that would be intelligent.

[reverie-shadow.livejournal.com]

While the entire goddamn chapters were dumb as hell, I am confused at the gyrfalcon (nice play at words, Paolini! Except that it's not) part. I presume that the elves are very concerned and caring for all life. That's why they don't eat meat and so on. Even if they don't follow a religion, they have to have some sort of philosophy that revolves around nature because, dude, what kind of elves would they be if they didn't?

So why didn't Arya try to save it? Sure it was in pain, and by euthanizing it she may have done it a favor, but that's still not much of an excuse. Plus, unless if there is some kind of major artery in that limb, I doubt it would have died overnight from a broken wing. If Paolini is going to give something a fatal wound, why doesn't he make it actually, o I don't know, fatal?

Because it just is.

[dove-cg.livejournal.com]

I'm conjecturing that she was suggesting, without being able to fly, it would be attacked and killed by something else or unable to find enough food.

But all the same... I'm with you. It makes little sense. I think Paolini was remembering one of the random books where a protagonist has to put an animal, which they love, to death for the good of the community/it/themselves and he was trying to reference that kind of idea. Only he failed horribly.

[karma-kalisutah.livejournal.com]

What irks me is that she seems completely unaffected by it. We're supposed to presume that in Paolini-land a broken wing warrants euthanasia. Well, fine, but just because it's right doesn't make it easy, not if you care enough about animals to want to keep them from suffering. I've heard veterinarians say that they never really get used to it.

Oh well. I guess most vets just aren't sociopaths. And Arya is one.

[berseker.livejournal.com]

You´re forgetting something: he fails at biology. ^_^

[dove-cg.livejournal.com]

*hugs Sloan and refuses to believe it* ;_;

I'm... frankly amazed the Ra'zac even dealt with him. What the hell did they actually gain from any of that? Nothing.

As for Arya, I don't know. And I don't think I really care. I mean, I gave up on her whenever the leather was introduced and that torture she supposedly went through. I am, however, amused at how the elves are in such awe of Saphira. It doesn't sound as if she actually does anything awe-inspiring around them. It's as if Paolini suddenly remembered "Oh, yeah, and Saphira is supposed to be great too!" I'm amused he remembered her at all. XD

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

What the hell did they actually gain from any of that?

A snack? XD

[(Anonymous)]

One thing that bothered me:
Why didn't Saphira eat the bird? Sure, it wouldn't have been much food for her, but it would have been better than leaving it to rot. Also, why did Eragon think Arya shot the bird for food when he knows she's a vegitarian?