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Mar. 16th, 2007 12:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kippurbirdBeginning of Chapter two of Call of the Champion
Leashes, Sela decided as she walked down the streets with her five year old twins pulling at her arms to go in two totally different directions, leashes for the children would be a fantastic idea. Laruna and Alec were in fine form today as she took them to the Council building. Both of them full of energy and wanting to go and look at all the different things around them. Unfortunately neither of them wanted to see the same thing at the same time in the same place. Laruna would linger behind looking at something in a shop, while Alec would tug ahead to go see something that a street vendor was selling. Her arms felt like they were going to be split in two!
"Momma," Alec said looking up at her with his hazel eyes (though they used to be gray, why they had changed, she didn't know) wide and pleading, "Look! He has pinwheels! May I have one?" He pointed to a man who sold colorful pinwheels that spun despite the fact that there was no breeze.
"No, Alec. You don't need one."
Before Alec could reply to that, Laruna chimed in, "Momma, I'm hungry. Could I have something to eat?" Sela glanced around and saw a man selling the sticky buns that Laruna loved so much.
"Not now, perhaps later," she said, pulling them along.
"But Momma!" The twins cried together. She ignored them and continued walking. Today they were not out for fun or shopping, but for business. She needed to see Councilor Kindess about the twins. To be more exacting, about Alec, but Alec would not go without Laruna. It was almost impossible to get him to do something without his sister.
A few months ago, Laruna had gotten it into her head that she wanted to be a bird. And birds sat up in trees, so she and Alec (for Alec always went where she did) had climbed up the tree in their backyard. They had climbed so high that they weren't able to get down by themselves. Raven had to go up and get them, but Alec wouldn't leave Laruna by herself up in the tree and she wouldn't leave Alec. So her poor husband had to take both of them down at the same time. He had nearly fallen and broken a limb several times, and indeed he did fall at the very end and twist his ankle badly. But the twins were down and safe and the ankle was easily healed by Kratz.
Still, she didn't want to have to fight with the twins on leaving Laruna behind, so she brought both of them.
The street eventually opened up into a wide square with three builings in it. A head of her stood the white walls of the University. To her left the Oracle's Temple hunched in black stone with thick columns. To her right the great library hung with plants clinging to its sides like it had been over grown and in front of her the terquise Council Building stood like a man holding his hands up to the sky.
Councilor Zaldine Kindess' office was large and filled with books of law and regulations. She had a wide desk in front of the window covered in paper and figurines of horses and some sort of aquatic animal. A bowl of sweets also sat on the desk and the councilor gave one to each of the twins as soon as they arrived.
The councilor herself, was several years Sela's senior with gray hair begining to show in her black hair and wrinkles around her eyes. She smiled at the twins and then to Sela she said, "What was so urgent, that you need to see me about?"
Sela glanced at the twins, at Alec, and then at Zaladine, "You have always been a good friend to me since I arrived in the city. I have grown to trust your judgement and have sought your council on many occasions. I come to you with a problem and a secret I need your help with."
"I will do what I can to help, as I always have, what is the problem?"
"They will start school tomorrow, at the university."
"Will they really? All ready? I did not realize that they were that old."
"Yes... and it is Alec that I am worried about."
Zalandine looked at Alec, who had removed his sweet from his mouth and was comparing it to his sister's, "Has he not manifested his powers yet?"
"Yes," Sela said, "And this is the problem."
"What has he manifested as?"
Sela took a deep breath, looking around as if she were afraid of being over heard, "Element."
To her credit, Zaladine did not react. Sela watched her carefully for any negative reaction, but none came. Instead her face became grave. "Do you know what you are saying, when you say this? There hasn't been an element wizard in a thousand years. The bloodlines were wiped out. To say such at thing exists is ... impossible!"
"But not in the Troven line. We are fire, but we do have element in our blood. Alec," And she turned to her youngest child, "Show her what you can do."
Alec returned the sweet to his mouth and held out his hands, palms up. In the left one a small flame appeared hovering over skin. On the right, air swhirled in a minture tornado. This time Zaladine did react, with a gasp.
"Enough child," She said and then looked at Sela, "This... the laws say that he must have his powers taken from him. We swore never again, never to let another Destroyer be born."
"But he's only a child! And it is not his fault! It was how he was born. He cannot help it any more than I can help being earth." Earth, and Laruna water and Greywolf Air, none of them were proper Trovens. Still, it could not be helped.
"I know, Sela, I know. But others... will not see it like that." She leaned up against her desk, "We will have to keep this secret. Who knows?"
"Just me, my husband and the children."
"Then no others. Impress upon them, upon Alec, that there can be no sign of his talents. He must use only one element."
"Yes, of course." She agreed. "But what?"
Zaladine looked at Alec for a long moment, "Fire... like any other Troven."
Leashes, Sela decided as she walked down the streets with her five year old twins pulling at her arms to go in two totally different directions, leashes for the children would be a fantastic idea. Laruna and Alec were in fine form today as she took them to the Council building. Both of them full of energy and wanting to go and look at all the different things around them. Unfortunately neither of them wanted to see the same thing at the same time in the same place. Laruna would linger behind looking at something in a shop, while Alec would tug ahead to go see something that a street vendor was selling. Her arms felt like they were going to be split in two!
"Momma," Alec said looking up at her with his hazel eyes (though they used to be gray, why they had changed, she didn't know) wide and pleading, "Look! He has pinwheels! May I have one?" He pointed to a man who sold colorful pinwheels that spun despite the fact that there was no breeze.
"No, Alec. You don't need one."
Before Alec could reply to that, Laruna chimed in, "Momma, I'm hungry. Could I have something to eat?" Sela glanced around and saw a man selling the sticky buns that Laruna loved so much.
"Not now, perhaps later," she said, pulling them along.
"But Momma!" The twins cried together. She ignored them and continued walking. Today they were not out for fun or shopping, but for business. She needed to see Councilor Kindess about the twins. To be more exacting, about Alec, but Alec would not go without Laruna. It was almost impossible to get him to do something without his sister.
A few months ago, Laruna had gotten it into her head that she wanted to be a bird. And birds sat up in trees, so she and Alec (for Alec always went where she did) had climbed up the tree in their backyard. They had climbed so high that they weren't able to get down by themselves. Raven had to go up and get them, but Alec wouldn't leave Laruna by herself up in the tree and she wouldn't leave Alec. So her poor husband had to take both of them down at the same time. He had nearly fallen and broken a limb several times, and indeed he did fall at the very end and twist his ankle badly. But the twins were down and safe and the ankle was easily healed by Kratz.
Still, she didn't want to have to fight with the twins on leaving Laruna behind, so she brought both of them.
The street eventually opened up into a wide square with three builings in it. A head of her stood the white walls of the University. To her left the Oracle's Temple hunched in black stone with thick columns. To her right the great library hung with plants clinging to its sides like it had been over grown and in front of her the terquise Council Building stood like a man holding his hands up to the sky.
Councilor Zaldine Kindess' office was large and filled with books of law and regulations. She had a wide desk in front of the window covered in paper and figurines of horses and some sort of aquatic animal. A bowl of sweets also sat on the desk and the councilor gave one to each of the twins as soon as they arrived.
The councilor herself, was several years Sela's senior with gray hair begining to show in her black hair and wrinkles around her eyes. She smiled at the twins and then to Sela she said, "What was so urgent, that you need to see me about?"
Sela glanced at the twins, at Alec, and then at Zaladine, "You have always been a good friend to me since I arrived in the city. I have grown to trust your judgement and have sought your council on many occasions. I come to you with a problem and a secret I need your help with."
"I will do what I can to help, as I always have, what is the problem?"
"They will start school tomorrow, at the university."
"Will they really? All ready? I did not realize that they were that old."
"Yes... and it is Alec that I am worried about."
Zalandine looked at Alec, who had removed his sweet from his mouth and was comparing it to his sister's, "Has he not manifested his powers yet?"
"Yes," Sela said, "And this is the problem."
"What has he manifested as?"
Sela took a deep breath, looking around as if she were afraid of being over heard, "Element."
To her credit, Zaladine did not react. Sela watched her carefully for any negative reaction, but none came. Instead her face became grave. "Do you know what you are saying, when you say this? There hasn't been an element wizard in a thousand years. The bloodlines were wiped out. To say such at thing exists is ... impossible!"
"But not in the Troven line. We are fire, but we do have element in our blood. Alec," And she turned to her youngest child, "Show her what you can do."
Alec returned the sweet to his mouth and held out his hands, palms up. In the left one a small flame appeared hovering over skin. On the right, air swhirled in a minture tornado. This time Zaladine did react, with a gasp.
"Enough child," She said and then looked at Sela, "This... the laws say that he must have his powers taken from him. We swore never again, never to let another Destroyer be born."
"But he's only a child! And it is not his fault! It was how he was born. He cannot help it any more than I can help being earth." Earth, and Laruna water and Greywolf Air, none of them were proper Trovens. Still, it could not be helped.
"I know, Sela, I know. But others... will not see it like that." She leaned up against her desk, "We will have to keep this secret. Who knows?"
"Just me, my husband and the children."
"Then no others. Impress upon them, upon Alec, that there can be no sign of his talents. He must use only one element."
"Yes, of course." She agreed. "But what?"
Zaladine looked at Alec for a long moment, "Fire... like any other Troven."
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Date: 2007-03-17 09:51 am (UTC)Although, a nitpick. The square is described with three buildings, and you mention four. I do like the 'hands to the sky' imagery though, but it might need rewording.
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Date: 2007-03-17 11:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-17 11:42 pm (UTC)I mean, I can understand if the borders of the square are very large, and defined by the temple, the University, and the library, and the Council building sits in the center of the square with plenty of wide space around it. That's what I thought the narrative meant?
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Date: 2007-03-19 07:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-19 12:52 am (UTC)Not to mention, not another element wizard in a thousand years? I can understand that any other element wizards besides Alec had probably tried to keep their nature a secret too. But I just can't imagine ALL of them would have succeeded at duping everyone for the rest of their lives (or that they all moved away to some remote region where no one knew this was a bad thing.) It takes a lot of dedication to stifle something and to not slip up.
I think it might be better for the Councilor to say something closer to "None have been found in this length of time", to suggest that perhaps there were others but it was highly unlikely and that, if there had been, they weren't found out. Otherwise, I have trouble believing that the 'blood' from the woman in the previous chapter, which carried the element magic, didn't get wiped out from marrying entirely... all except for little Alec, who is very far removed in generations from the original descendant. This isn't impossible, just a lot harder for me to believe. Don't get me wrong though. I'm not saying the overall idea is bad. :)
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Date: 2007-03-19 07:05 pm (UTC)As for the last element wizard thing... well no one ever said that Lorac was dead.
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Date: 2007-03-20 02:42 am (UTC)But that was my point. It'd be better if the councilor was not suggesting it was impossible for Alec to be an element wizard. Just that she thought it unlikely. Or maybe I misread it as her suggesting that they were all dead.
And the wizards being artificially created is interesting... but why were only some of them given the ability to utilize all of the elements?
no subject
Date: 2007-03-20 02:53 am (UTC)Wizards were modified from witches who can use life magic. Certain kinds of witches created certain kinds of wizards, depending on how the spark of magic was altered. It was sort of like a breeding thing with calico cats.
Kitties!
Date: 2007-03-20 03:12 am (UTC)I read it once and was still a bit puzzled, so I'm not certain I'm even remembering it right or if I ever understood it in the first place. The site seemed relatively legit but I believe they were theorizing about the male calicoes, particularly the males who could reproduce. They said not much actual research was being done on the matter, since it seemed unimportant to the people who might generally research that sort of thing, but they did reference a few specific scientists' work. @_@; ^_^
But uhh... I think what you said made sense to me. It's a matter of random genetics. :)
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Date: 2007-03-19 12:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-19 07:08 pm (UTC)Well, who knows.
no subject
Date: 2007-03-19 09:18 pm (UTC)Well, I don't think I commented on the last extract, but I will on this one to say: this is really good. If it were me, I'd put more emotions into the exposition -- y'know, "to her relief, they got down safely" as opposed to "they got down safely", to give an unimaginative example :P -- but it's enjoyable to read as it is, too. I love the copycat relationship between Alec and Laruna. xD Awesome sibling... stuff. I'm never satisfied with how I write family relationships, but you do it really well.
In summary, huzzah for you! =D
Avatar
Date: 2007-03-20 02:39 am (UTC)And true, something I forgot about. Might be better to hint at a little more emotion. But yesh, I love how irritating the kids are being. True to life but not necessarily spiteful of them. And relatively cute (since I don't have to deal with them.) :D
Re: Avatar
Date: 2007-03-20 02:49 am (UTC)Re: Avatar
Date: 2007-03-20 11:37 am (UTC)...I always assumed that 'anime' referred to the style of a cartoon, rather than who commissioned/animated it. Eh, but I'm no expert. :)
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Date: 2007-03-20 02:49 am (UTC)But thanks. I'm glad you like the relationship between the twins. They're rather close to each other and it seems to make sense that they would be mimicking each other.