(no subject)

[kippurbird]

Dear people considering yourselves fans of my work,


Let me explain something to you somethings about Verra and Alec.

First of all, they're in love. Very much madly in love. Verra is not the shrew wife that Alec needs to get away from to fall into your Sue's arms. She does not abuse him, neglect him or do horrible things to him. And he doesn't do that to her either. They are a happy couple. Yes. A HAPPY couple. Such things do exist in stories. They don't fight seriously at all. They may bicker about things, but it's just banter. They love each other and are quite dotting on each other. They are not going to be getting a divorce so your Sue can have Alec.

And for all your slash fans out there, yes, Alec is bisexual, but that doesn't mean that he loves men better than he loves his wife. And that he's just waiting for the right guy to get him out of his marriage. He asked her to marry him. It wasn't an arranged marriage. (That goes for you too, Sue authors). It was love at first sight for him. No, he's not straight, but he's perfectly content to be with his wife and not stray.

He is not going to have a one night stand with your character.

Verra is not going to have a one night stand with your character either.

If she sees your character coming with those sort of intentions towards her or Alec she will eat them. Why will she eat them? Because she is a dragon and that is how they solve their problems. She will not get weepy or angsty or woe is me. She will eat that stupid bint who has stolen her husband away. With no regrets either.

While I'm at it. Verra does not do the damsel in distress shtick. Let me remind you. She's a dragon. She's a hundred times tougher than any human and more powerful and she knows it. If someone tries to kidnap her, she will grab them by the throat and squeeze the life out of them. She will not weep helplessly if someone tries to rape her. She will change into her dragon form and eat the guy trying to hurt her. Or roast him alive.

Dragons do breathe fire, you know.

If anything, she'd be the one rescuing Alec, who is human and frail compared to her. After all her skin is as tough as diamonds. She could ravage a village if she wanted to. She probably has. And no one is going to protest this because she's a fucking huge dragon.

You do not argue with dragons, for they find you crunchy and good with ketchup.

Thank you.

Comments

[thelittlebudgie.livejournal.com]

You do not argue with dragons, for they find you crunchy and good with ketchup.

Indeed, that's a good policy with any carnivore larger than you. Even those without access to ketchup or other condiments.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Verra, in her dragonic form, is about the size of a two story house.

You do not argue with a carnivore that big. You run and pray that they don't feel like chasing you.

[thelittlebudgie.livejournal.com]

And point out that the person in the opposite direction looks tastier.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Oh yes. Totally.

[anarchicq.livejournal.com]

*sweetlilsuicide whistles innocently. takes a step. Another step. RUNS!*

Q: I told you, Side.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Goooood dragon, nice dragon! *hides*

[dove-cg.livejournal.com]

Someone has seriously written a Mary Sue in a story with your characters? Wow. That's daring, considering they are PPC agents and all that jazz. O_o

Or was this a pre-emptive strike? XD

Re: Goooood dragon, nice dragon! *hides*

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Total pre-emptive strike. Just ranting about things that I know will happen when the stories get published.

Re: Goooood dragon, nice dragon! *hides*

[dove-cg.livejournal.com]

Somehow, I doubt it will help. If they choose to ignore things from the stories themselves, most likely they won't care about your rant or ever know it existed. ^_^;

But it's a worthy effort and... who knows? Maybe some Sue, somewhere, in the future, will have been aborted or be stillborn because of this being in your LJ. XD

I would say that just not allowing any fanfiction would be the way to go... but most of the authors who do that seem to be a bit on the delusional side about how good their work is. (Anne Rice and... Laurrel K. Hamilton? Am I correct? Oh well, I know some of what I remember seeing listed at FF.net were ones I thought 'Yeeeah, but you weren't that great to begin with; there's not that much to save' since I'm snarky like that.) :)

Re: Goooood dragon, nice dragon! *hides*

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Oh they'll probably never read this at all. Unless I put it up on my book's website when it gets published. Hrm... idea that.

I wouldn't mind fan fiction at all. It would amuse me. So does yelling at potential fan brats. I am one of those people who like to go around saying, "That's wrong, that's wrong, that can't work..." sort of Canon Nazi'ish I suppose. It brings me glee.

Re: Goooood dragon, nice dragon! *hides*

[dove-cg.livejournal.com]

Oh, I love being that way too. And it's especially fulfilling if you're the author. They can't exactly contest your opinion when you wrote the fucking original! (Though... I can imagine some of the more irritating ones might whine 'But it's only fanfiiiction', to which you can say 'Yes but as my fans, you listen to what *I* say or you're still WRONG.') XD

Besides, once you're published, I think the publishers get antsy if you read the fanfiction based on your work, eh? :P :)

Re: Goooood dragon, nice dragon! *hides*

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Or like that one Draco/Hermione fan who wrote JK a letter pointing out why Hermione and Draco were meant for each other despite what JK said... and used examples from text.

I do think the publishers do get antsy. But what they don't know can't hurt them. >>

Re: Goooood dragon, nice dragon! *hides*

[dove-cg.livejournal.com]

Dude, someone seriously did that? ... Why didn't they just create characters who were SIMILAR, make their own little world of magicians, take the examples to form a plot in which they would become lovers/whatever, and then write their own damn story? :I

[gjohnsonkoehn.livejournal.com]

Dragons do breathe fire, you know.

I know, but could you have Verra clue Saphira in on it? She seems to have had a little trouble with the concept.

You do not argue with dragons, for they find you crunchy and good with ketchup.

Indeed not. You go out and get your own dragon. Preferably a bigger one, though dear little Errol did show us that size isn't always the most important thing.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

I know, but could you have Verra clue Saphira in on it? She seems to have had a little trouble with the concept.

*glares at the bunny attached to ankle.* This is all YOUR fault, I'll have you know. *mutters and plots*

Well, I wouldn't argue with Errol either, in case he exploded. And Verra has no problems with Errol at all, says he's a right proper dragon... if a bit odd.

[gjohnsonkoehn.livejournal.com]

I find it generally wise not to argue with jet-propelled dragons, especially ones with nostrils big enough to engulf your whole head. Honestly, that picture of him in The Art of Discworld? That nose is terrifying!

I think it can smell into my very soul....

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Maybe it can. >.>

[dove-cg.livejournal.com]

*imagines a bunny attached to the ankle of the Feanor in your icon and snickers loudly*

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Feanor takes offense to this and asks you to please die now or else he'll have to spork you to death.

[dove-cg.livejournal.com]

Of course he will. :3 *promptly dies so as not to be sporked... this time*

[frodo-harry.livejournal.com]

I agree. Stay away Sue authors or you shall meet the wrath of Verra and Allec. Do you mind if I build a shrine to Verra and Allec, since Lorac has a cult, why should these two not have a cult of theri own.
What say you?

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Alec's a classic attention whore. I don't know what that'll do to his ego, if you build a shrine to him. Of course, that's not going to stop me from saying if you want to, go ahead!

[dove-cg.livejournal.com]

But what if the cult is full of Mary Sues?!!?!1111one! o_o

[(Anonymous)]

Of cause sues wail be quashed and roasted.

frodo