kippurbird: (O_o)
[personal profile] kippurbird
*flails around for a bit*

*waves hand*

adjf;kajhjrg;kkdkoiur!!!

*points to selection from Eldest*


Going to the stream by the house, they quickly disrobed. Eragon surreptitiously watched the elf, curious as to what he looked like without his clothes. Oromis was very thin, yet his muscles were perfectly defined, etched under his skin with the hard lines of a woodcut. No hair grew upon his chest or legs, not even around his groin. His body seemed almost freakish to Eragon, compared to the men he was used to seeing in Carvahall-although it had a certain refined elegance to it, like that of a wildcat.

When they were clean, Oromis took Eragon deep into Du Weldenvarden to a hollow where the dark trees leaned inward, obscuring the sky behind branches and veils of snarled lichen. Their feet sank into the moss above their ankles. All was silent about them as they made love.

He felt suddenly vulnerable; he was completely exposed to the elf. Anyone or anything that might want to leap into his mind and control him could now do so.

Pointing to a white stump with a flat, polished top three yards across that rested in the center of the hollow, Oromis said, "Sit here, on my lap." Eragon did as he was told. "Cross your legs and close your eyes."

"Let us wash the sweat from our limbs," said Oromis when they finished.



*flails more*
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Date: 2007-02-15 07:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anarchicq.livejournal.com
W-...Wh-....wh-...Wh-....Wait....wh-...whut?

....And those are my thoughts on Yaoi...?

Date: 2007-02-15 07:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] reverie-shadow.livejournal.com
Uh buh duh ber hurr...guh....

...guh....

...*DIE.*

Okay, I'm curious now.

Date: 2007-02-15 07:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] canadianevil.livejournal.com
I absolutely, categorically refuse to believe this is real.

Date: 2007-02-15 07:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kippurbird.livejournal.com
*flails around*

I... I ... I don't know what to say to that... I just... it.. and there... they made LOVE and... and...

Date: 2007-02-15 07:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pandoras-closet.livejournal.com
*Raised eyebrow*

Odd.

Date: 2007-02-15 07:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kippurbird.livejournal.com
Denial is good.

Date: 2007-02-15 07:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kippurbird.livejournal.com
Yeeeeesss.... that's one word for it.

Date: 2007-02-15 07:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] canadianevil.livejournal.com
And in this case, correct.

Date: 2007-02-15 07:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dragonwhishes.livejournal.com
... I... what? Bzuh? I.

What. lakslafjsafjlsafjlsfjlasjflkajlskiwliw

Date: 2007-02-15 08:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kippurbird.livejournal.com
*peers at it fearfully*

I... am too... and I'm frightened. Hold me?

Date: 2007-02-15 08:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kippurbird.livejournal.com
If only to keep your sanity.

Date: 2007-02-15 08:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kippurbird.livejournal.com
*flails* And... And.. it's there! And...;aliskejr!

Date: 2007-02-15 08:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] canadianevil.livejournal.com
Where did you get that?

Date: 2007-02-15 08:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] reverie-shadow.livejournal.com
Shhh, child. Come here to my arms and sit on my lap.

(Moments later.)

...Now, let us wash the sweat from our limbs.

*SHOT.*

O my GOD that was wrong of my. My apologies! My brain must've gotten dirtied just now. I need a scouring pad. Or a lobotomy. Lobotomy please!

Date: 2007-02-15 08:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] reverie-shadow.livejournal.com
Me, even. It was wrong of me.

Ow, my brain....

Date: 2007-02-15 08:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dragonwhishes.livejournal.com
HOW DID YOU FIND IT, KIPPUR. WHERE DID YOU FIND IT. WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO US.

Date: 2007-02-15 08:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kippurbird.livejournal.com
That Anti Eragon site.
http://www.anti-shurtugal.com/brokebackelves.htm to be exact.

Date: 2007-02-15 08:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anarchicq.livejournal.com
These are all good questions.

Date: 2007-02-15 08:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anarchicq.livejournal.com
Wait..what about Elf Sue?

Date: 2007-02-15 08:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] -youngblood-.livejournal.com
Hahahaha. While amusing, that passage is not entirely correct. The words "made love" aren't actually in the text, but everything else is legitimate.

Still, only slightly less disturbing.

Date: 2007-02-15 08:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] canadianevil.livejournal.com
I don't believe it.

Date: 2007-02-15 08:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kippurbird.livejournal.com
I found it on an anti-Eragon site. And I had to share.

Date: 2007-02-15 08:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kippurbird.livejournal.com
*passes the brain bleach*

Date: 2007-02-15 08:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kippurbird.livejournal.com
Yes. Yes. Denial is good.

Date: 2007-02-15 08:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] -youngblood-.livejournal.com
Oh, and the "sit on my lap" part isn't in it either. Plus, this is a rearrangement of several different passages. The bit where Oromis tells Eragon to close his eyes is a training session, but they do indeed bathe together. Crazily enough.
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