Eragon pt. one

[kippurbird]

chapter title Prologue: Shade of Fear

Characters: A "Shade", some "Urgals", three elves.

Comments:

My first thoughts on this are, if you're going to call a character or race "Shade" do not give it crimson hair and maroon eyes. It creates a sort of conflicting imagery in the mind, you think darkness for the word "Shade" and well not for the redness of the hair. It seems to have unnaturally good eyesight and it's very powerful. I don't see why it needed the Urgals at all. The Urgals, however remind me of Steve Urkle and so now I think of some monsters in high pants and suspenders with thick nerdy glasses. Which really isn't helping my being able to immerse myself in the story. In regards to the monsters, they have "a pair of twisted horns [that] grow above their small ears" so I'm thinking maybe like a Minotaur? Dunno.

Odd turn of phrase here, "The Shade hissed in anger, and the Urgals shrank back, motionless." How do you shrink back and remain motionless at the same time? While I'm at it, if "Shade" is a race then it shouldn't be capitalized.

The Shade seems to be rather powerful if it can set a ring of fire in a quarter mile of forest. Why does he need the minions? He seems to be perfectly powerful enough to take down three individuals by himself. Especially since they don't seem to be as powerful as he is. And if he's a minion how much power can really powerful people channel?

The bar for magic has been set rather high now. A lowly powerful minion can use a lot of magic and is powerful without getting tired either. The really powerful people must be god like.

The language that the Shade speaks looks like the cat walked across the keyboard.

Now to the Elves. He points out that one of the elves is wearing a helm, as a differentiating mark but the question is, at least to me, is the elf wearing armor of some sort as well as the helm or just the helm.

They are as he says cantering. Cantering is a fast gait for a horse and makes a sort of rocking horse motion. Also, when you are riding a horse, unless you are riding side saddle you do not have a lap to put things on. You are straddling a horse, your legs are to the side of you. You can have something in your saddle, but you would have to hold onto it, especially at a canter where it feels like you're about to be thrown off at every forward movement. You'd have to hold onto the bag while holding onto the reins.

Geography seems to be a bit iffy here. They start off in a forest and then the Shade climbs "a piece of granite that jutted above them. from his perch he could see all of the surrounding forest" (page 5). Which means that it must be one hell of a big piece of granite to let him see all of the forest with its many tall trees and what not.

Comments

[dragonwhishes.livejournal.com]

... Ohh, Kippur, how brave you are to risk the dreck Eragon.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

It's been fun, so far.

[dergerm.livejournal.com]

You seem a bit too critical of certain things, but really that's not a big deal to me. It's fun seeing someone tear a child to pieces. MUAH HA HA HA HAAAA!

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

The pieces are there for me to play with. It's really just Too easy to do this.

[dr4win9f00l.livejournal.com]

hey, here from deleterius- watching you for the sheer value of sporkery that I know you will produce. Thus far- top notch.

[the7bells.livejournal.com]

I love your icon...where did you get it?

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I hope I do perform as well as you expect. Though the material just sort of hands it to me.

[omfgsiriusly.livejournal.com]

HAHAHA Hilarious

The language that the Shade speaks looks like the cat walked across the keyboard.

It reminds me of a spork at Deleterius.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

But it does! Kitty makes those sort of marks every time he walks across the keyboard.

[reverie-shadow.livejournal.com]

There was something I found funny in the Prologue, and that was the first sentence itself: "Wind howled through the night, carrying a scent that would change the world."

...obviously it was a small change, because I don't think it popped up again for the rest of the book.

Does it?

In any case, this book was absolutely terrible. I'm glad to see one other person sporking it to death like this. The story needs to be lynched like mad.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Wouldn't know. I'm still in chapter one.

[the7bells.livejournal.com]

This is the only way I'll even begin to read the book...

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

I started bashing my head in around this point. I'm so going to need therapy when I'm done.

[the7bells.livejournal.com]

Who wouldn't? I only got a few sentances in before I gave up for the sake of my sanity

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

I have a masochist tendency when it comes to bad fiction (fan or otherwise) I have to read it. And then poke it apart.

[madamsnape.livejournal.com]

He really does like writing about things he doesn't know about, doesn't he... I mean, maybe - maybe - if he spoke about the saddle being made to provide a deep seated comfortable ride. Where even at the fastest gait the rider is pretty much secure (I say pretty much, cause you'd still have to be able to ride in my opinion), anyway, if this was so... then maybe Arya would have been able to have something in her lap.

Cause I know when I used to ride my horse, sometimes I'd lift my legs - still have my feet in the stirrups - but lift them so my legs were angled as though sitting in a chair. (Dangerous, but my mare was "bomb proof") and that gave me a lap.

But CP doesn't mention this, or anything else... so point well made!!!

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

If he doesn't mention it, then I'm not going to assume it.

[wingedrivers.livejournal.com]

I imagined Urkle as well and found it to be much more terrifying to be attacked by a plethora of Urkles rather than Urgals.

[hiyami.livejournal.com]

Ooooh, thank you!
Eragon is one of those stuff that has been so much in the news that I want to know what it's about (well, more than the story I guessed from reading the backcover, rolling my eyes and assuming the whole story was as cliché as it sounded). Yet I don't want to waste either money or time for it.

I've found this vie metaquote (for chap 24 actually), and it's perfect. I'll know all about Eragon through an entertaining read. How odd ;)

[nscangal.livejournal.com]

One comment here: A canter shouldn't make you feel as though you're going to be thrown off with every stride. If it does, that means you can't do it properly - if you have proper technique, it's actually quite a comfortable stride. Certainly by far more comfortable than a trot, though a trot is easier on the horse.

Which reminds me: if you're travelling long distances, you wouldn't canter. That'd be the same as trying to travel cross-country at a sprint. All you'll succeed in doing is exhausting your horse and increasing the risk of injury to both the horse and rider.