Eragon pt. six

[kippurbird]

Chapters A Miller-to-Be, Strangers in Carvahall
Characters Eragon, Garrow, Roran, Saphira, Hurst, Sloan, 2 Mysterious Strangers, Brom
Shiny Magical Objects in Eragon's Possession Saphira.

Summary

A Miller-To-Be is a very short chapter. In it's entire three pages we learn that Garrow is not, as Eragon would suppose that he would be, upset with Roran leaving to become a Miller, but instead happy for his son, because he's growing up into a nice fine young man who will soon be able to have a wife. Yay. Apparently there is supposed to be some sort of tension going on because of this. Garrow says, "It's life's natural course." And then Eragon and Roran helped him wash the dishes in silence. However, this is the sort of reaction one would assume to be having if Garrow was unhappy with Roran's decision to become a Miller. BUT Garrow is not upset. There's even a twinkle in his eye when he tells Roran that he's happy for him.

Only Eragon is unhappy for Roran. He stops talking to his uncle and cousin and then wonders why there is a distance between him and Roran. There's really nothing more I can say to that.

In the mean time Eragon and Saphira bond. Paolini tells us that Saphira's personality "was eclectic and at times completely alien, yet they understood each other on a profound level". These are all very pretty words, but what do they mean exactly? It's all very vague and there are no examples of this to make it clearer. But it does sound profound doesn't it? Using the word profound usually indicates that there is a profoundness. But better would have been to show and not tell us that they have a deep profound understanding. (Though how you would do that, is up in the air. But it's not something you should just say.)

Garrow, on the morn of Roran's leaving, gives Roran and Eragon some advice. It sounds like the Sunscreen song but less amusing. I believe it's supposed to be good advice, but it sounds trite. He says things like, "...Let no one rule your mind or body. Take special care that your thoughts remain unfettered. One may be a free man yet be bound tighter than a slave. Give men your ear, but not your heart. Show respect for those in power, but don't follow them blindly. Judge with logic and reason, but comment not." (page 64). Very... trite, but it sounds good and wise, doesn't it? I doubt that Eragon will follow it. But it sounds good.

In town Eragon learns that two strangers are looking for his stone. They are, of course, very bad news. Hurst tells him to leave town and get rid of the stone. Eragon, instead, eavesdrops on Sloan talking to the Mysterious Strangers. He decides that he's going to punch Sloan the next time he sees him, because Sloan tells them about the stone. We don't know what Sloan is feeling or even if he's the only one who's told them. The mysterious strangers are definitely threatening. Sloan has no loyalty to Eragon, but he may feel that these strangers are a danger to his daughter. Sloan has no reason to be loyal to Eragon, yet Eragon feels that he should be silent. Sloan has been slated to be the enemy since we first met him. And this is why he's the enemy. So he can betray Eragon to the enemy. It couldn't be a good person who does it by accident, or one that was coerced because then they wouldn't be good. We need a bad person to do a bad thing. In this case betray Eragon to the bad guys. It would be more tense and dramatic if these mysterious strangers were to threaten or get a good person to betray Eragon by accident. Or even if Sloan were to not betray Eragon. But since Sloan is the bad guy he has to be the one who betrays Eragon.

The Mysterious Strangers notice Eragon and he freezes up. This is supposed to be strange and mysterious but instead it could just be explained as being scared witless. Brom rescues him and mugs off his mit to see the silvery mark on his hand. How does Brom know which hand has the mark, we really don't know. But we know that he was looking for the mark because he asked about the trader that Eragon said told him about dragon things. And Brom of course knows a bit too much about dragons than an ordinary storyteller should. And this is Stranger and Mysterious.

Comments

[anarchicq.livejournal.com]

"...Let no one rule your mind or body. Take special care that your thoughts remain unfettered. One may be a free man yet be bound tighter than a slave. Give men your ear, but not your heart. Show respect for those in power, but don't follow them blindly. Judge with logic and reason, but comment not."
Translation: Don't be gay. For the love of god DON'T BE GAY!

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

*laughs* He saw what Roran and Eragon were doing when they were supposedly wrestling. >>

[canadianevil.livejournal.com]

Ah, the one piece of advice Eragon couldn't possibly follow.

I mean, first there's Roran, then Brom, then Murtagh...

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

I really need to get to this Murtagh bit.

[canadianevil.livejournal.com]

Hee.

[gundamkiwi.livejournal.com]

I haven't read the Eragon sporking yet, but I fully intend to. I'm just commenting to let you know I've added you to my friend's list. *waves* Hi! I'm Kiwi from the board, in case you couldn't tell. ^^

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Read! Enjoy! Comment all you like! The discussion's the best part.

[madamsnape.livejournal.com]

*giggles* fantastic!

[indescane.livejournal.com]

I've been reading your commentary, mainly because I have no intention of reading Eragon. Evar. Your sporking makes me giggle. That is probably a bad idea, seeing as I am reading this at 1am and my mum is working at 8am tomorrow. Ah well, the perils of the Internet.

And the plot of Eragon is spectacularly wince-worthy so far.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

See, I held to the idea that for a while, saying that it just didn't interest me. Then when I heard about how bad it was, I had to read it. Now I can't put it down because it's like watching a train wreck. You can't look away.

Plot? What plot? I haven't seen any plot.

[madamsnape.livejournal.com]

Seriously - read it!

It's worth the cringing for all the giggling caused through disbelief!

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

^_^

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

See, Sloan is a bad guy because he doesn't like Eragon. Everything else is immaterial. Especially things like logic. You see, what you are using is called Earth Logic. What Paolini is using is called Fan Girl Logic. The two are mutually exclusive ways of looking at the world.

Earth Logic makes sense in that Sloan wouldn't take the stone for the meat because, what is he going to do with a rock? He can't eat it or spend it or do anything. He'd basically be giving the food away, which he can't afford to do.

Fan Girl logic says that Sloan should take the rock for the meat because it's shiny and valuable and Eragon's offering it to him. Never mind the fact that he couldn't do anything with it. He is therefor evil because he doesn't. And because he doesn't like Eragon, while everyone should like Eragon.

[chelonianmobile.livejournal.com]

And Brom of course knows a bit too much about dragons than an ordinary storyteller should. And this is Stranger and Mysterious.

Yeah - to be honest, I have absolutely no idea why they bothered keeping the whole Brom-is-an-ex-dragon-rider thing quiet. I mean, I saw it coming a mile away, and I NEVER spot plot twists, even the ones everyone else usually spots a mile away. (I didn't spot that Murtagh is 99% certain to be Eragon's long-lost brother in the first reading, but I'm willing to bet he either has done in the second book or will do in the third.)

I did actually kinda like this book in the first reading, though I'm not sure why now. Even then, my ability to take it seriously was spoiled somewhat when I misread a line about "a dwarf polishing his war axe" as "a dwarf polishing his ear wax" and it took me half a page to realise that couldn't possibly be right.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Because Brom is supposed to be strange and mysterious.

The book has a certain quality about it that makes it seem like it's good on the surface but when you think about it, it just fails to work.


I love your icon.

[chelonianmobile.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank dreya_uberwald for the quote which inspired the icon. And the moron who thought "Shadow Rapes Matthias" was a smart title for a fanfic, who inspired her to say it.

I still say the book's not *too* bad for a fifteen-year-old's writing, but since he actually got worse with the second one ... and it only got published in the first place because his dad works for a publishing company or something, didn't it?

If I ever get round to writing my own novel, can you ruthlessly bitch it out with me so I don't end up writing a Paolini clone? I've been tossing the idea around for a couple of years but still have to come up with anything resembling a coherent plot. Any tips for writing something non-Eragonish?

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Well, for starters, on how not to write like Paolini, take some writing courses. Subtly is a good thing, but it's hard to do. Get someone to read your writing who will not just gush. Being aware of what Paolini is doing wrong is a good way to avoid it.

Know your cliches and be aware of them .DON'T steal plots so deliberately. Make sure you build your world solidly, especially the magics. Magic always needs to have rules or else it's unbelievable. So far, Paolini hasn't given any rules to his magic or limits.

I dunno. That's what I can think of off the top of my head. But I'd be happy to read stuff.

[chelonianmobile.livejournal.com]

One of my troubles with writing is I worry that I'm not explaining things clearly, so I end up infodumping. I hate when that happens in books, but I've found myself doing it sometimes. And I'll come up with great characters, but be totally stuck for whatever the hell they're supposed to be doing. I suck at plots.

All I've got so far is your bog-standard "smalltown kid leaves village", except mine is doing it because she's been framed for murder rather than to seek her fortune, and she goes to the big city and falls in with a street gang rather than wandering the Random Fantasy Land questing. I still don't know why the kid in the village was murdered, but I know it's got to be something to do with the guy in the city who turns out to be the villain. I don't want it to be "hunting for the Ancient Artefact" or "heroine turns out to have special powers and he came up with a ridiculously convoluted plan to get her to the city rather than simply asking her for help", or god forbid an ancient prophecy ... I told you I suck at plots. But I'm quite fond of some of the characters I've come up with.

Trouble is, there's plenty of sites where you can get help with prose or characters, but there really isn't anywhere you can go for help with plotting.

(Actually Paolini has given some very vague rules to the magic - "you can't bring people back from the dead", etc. But we just KNOW that Eragon's going to wind up breaking these rules because he's Special[TM], don't we?)

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Plot, you shouldn't worry too much about, if you know your characters and their world. The characters will tell you the why and how. And there are only seven standard plots (or so I've been told), so no plot is going to be totally original. It's the dressing on the plot that makes a good story different from the bad.

Best way to come up with a plot is to ask the characters, this just happened to you, now what do you do? You character, you said, is framed for murder. That's your starting point. What does she do next? Why does she do it? Who was the murderer? Was she framed intentionally? Talk to the villain, see what his motives are. Was it a random fluke that the girl got framed or something else.

You don't need the other stuff, if you don't want it.


(It doesn't look like Paolini has a very firm set of rules for his magic. Like for my own world I have two types of magic users, wizards and witches. Wizards can use elemental magic, while witches can use life magic. The two can't cross over. And I have long documentation on why this is and how the magic users came about and blah...)

[chelonianmobile.livejournal.com]

Not sure how to deal convincingly with the magic, but I did come up with a nifty idea for part of it. I wanted a character with high-functioning autism because I have it (his is undiagnosed, obviously, a Dark Ages world would just see him as creepy) and I thought maybe certain kinds of magic wouldn't work on him because of it, or would work especially well, or he can't use them himself. Like, since we tend to have trouble with social interaction and metaphorical stuff (and those at lower-functioning levels can't deal with lies, or even fictional stories) he can't use illusionary magic.

Still trying to work out the villain properly. I really need a motive for them. Ah well. Will work on it some time.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Create a system and rules for it. And treat it as a serious thing, like physics. That's the best way to deal with magic. The idea of fantasy is that they use magic instead of science. So, if the people of the world weren't to take the magic seriously then the magic wouldn't be believable.

Best way I've found to get motives out of people is to write little shorts with them.

[indescane.livejournal.com]

Oh hell, I've got ancient prophecy oozing from mine. I should probably rewrite that, but I like the gods far too much. D:

Your plot does sound interesting, though. I'm pretty sure there's been a few 'framed for murder' cases of protagonist past out there, but it depends on how spiffily you do it. Usually they throw in shovelfuls of angst to spice it, which, similarly, can be good or bad.

Whenever I give my two cents over the internet, I always feel so pompous...probably because of the way I sound. ¬¬ I can't help the fact that there's a stick up my ass! It's irremovable!

(Damn, now I am really tempted to read Eragon to see how bad it is. Will my eyeballs fall out of my head if I do?)

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

(Yes, they will. I don't suggest trying to write anything either after reading it. I've found it impossible to write anything good after reading it. )

[karma-kalisutah.livejournal.com]

Garrow, on the morn of Roran's leaving, gives Roran and Eragon some advice. It sounds like the Sunscreen song but less amusing. I believe it's supposed to be good advice, but it sounds trite. He says things like, "...Let no one rule your mind or body. Take special care that your thoughts remain unfettered. One may be a free man yet be bound tighter than a slave. Give men your ear, but not your heart. Show respect for those in power, but don't follow them blindly. Judge with logic and reason, but comment not." (page 64). Very... trite, but it sounds good and wise, doesn't it? I doubt that Eragon will follow it. But it sounds good.

Polonius? Is that you?

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

... That was from Hamlet? Oh migawd I so fail at life. Or at least English Lit.

[ember-reignited.livejournal.com]

Not in a plagiaristic way. It just reminds me of his "fatherly advice" to Laertes. I think he and Garrow should meet sometime and trade bits of "wisdom." They'd enjoy it.

[thelittlebudgie.livejournal.com]

You know you need to stop reviewing Hamlet when you read this:

"...Let no one rule your mind or body. Take special care that your thoughts remain unfettered. One may be a free man yet be bound tighter than a slave. Give men your ear, but not your heart. Show respect for those in power, but don't follow them blindly. Judge with logic and reason, but comment not."

and think that it's Polonius' speech to Laertes.

Psh. For all we know, Sloan might just have found some people who are good at estimating the value of rare artifacts and is wondering if he should maybe have traded the egg for some meat. Or he's worried about what might happen to the village if the egg is dangerous.

Ah, but Galby/Brom was a dragon rider too, so he would know any quirks riders develop with their marked hands, possibly. Or maybe it's visible to the special 'rider sight' or something silly like that.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Yes, but that would be logical.

[(Anonymous)]

Fine we get it. you hate Eragon. Now can you please sod off. There are some people who actually enjoy his writing. I know he took ideas from Tolkien Rowling and other fantasy. But did not Rowling use Tolkien's plots as well. And Harry grew up with his aunt and uncle. He has a mentor figure Dumbledore. I do not hear you complaining about that. Did Harry not want to go defeat Voldemor allone, just as Frodo did on the banks of Anduin.

Eragorn Sporking

[frodo-harry.livejournal.com]

I just love your sporkings. You know when I first read Eragon, I actually enjoyed it. After the second time reading it however I noticed all the inconsistencies that are in the books. So many things are just so implausible.

I Would you mind if I befriended you. I would give you a E cookie

Re: Eragorn Sporking

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Sure, go a head! Don't mind at all.