Eragon pt. two

[kippurbird]

Chapters" Discovery
Characters Eragon, our hero

Summary.


Discovery introduces us to our Hero of the story, Eragon. Eragon is a mighty hunter and brave and intelligent man, as this chapter will show us. Or at least this scene will show us. It's not really a chapter so much as a scene, but yes.

First of all we learn that Eargon is merely fifteen years old but already a trained and capable hunter who is not afraid to go into places that grown men dare. Because, as we learn in the next chapter, he's just that good. Or he's too stupid to be afraid. One of the two.

Meanwhile, Eargon is able to preform feats of skill that not even a master archer is able to. He's able to draw three arrows, knock one and keep the other two in his other hand. To quote, "At the glen, he strung his bow with a sure touch, then drew three arrows and knocked one, holding the others in his left hand." (page seven). To knock an arrow you need two hands. Apparently he is able to do this and still hold two other arrows at the same time. Perhaps, instead he has three hands?

Then he discovers the stone. We assume it is the same stone that the elf lost in the prologue because this is a traditional story device. And it wouldn't do the stone to fall into someone who is not the Hero's hands, now would it? The stone appeared in an explosion, which would indicate that it is hot, but after poking it with an arrow he picks it up with his bare hands. Because the poked with arrow test automatically makes it safe to pick up from a steaming hole.

The stone is "Cool and frictionless under his fingers, like harden silk," (page seven) which leads to a very interesting question. If it is frictionless, how did he pick it up? The definition of being frictionless means that you can't get a grip on it to pick it up. But somehow Eragon was able to.

As a closing to the chapter we get an insight into how Eragon thinks. He's just discovered a potentially dangerous magical object so what does he decided to do? Keep it and sell it for meat. Yes. This is what I would do with a potentially dangerous magical object. Sell it. Because God only knows what might happen to those poor people I've sold it to, if it turns out to be evil and horrible. Nope. I'm not going to do something intelligent with it like put it somewhere safe and find someone who might know what it is. I'm going to sell it.

Yes. Real genius there.

Comments

[-youngblood-.livejournal.com]

I feel very much obliged to you for going through Eragon bit by bit and pointing out all the absurdities, inconsistencies, and just downright bad writing. I've written and read several critiques of Paolini's writing, but I for one was too lazy to go through the entire book. I have a feeling that this will be vastly entertaining. I've friended you so I can read your future parts. :)

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

This what happens when we have too much time on our hands and we're an English major who has heard about a bad book. We decide to dissect it.

For fun.

[pococurante.livejournal.com]

I know exactly how that feels.

ps. friended you about eragon thing, hope you don't mind.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Not at all! The Snark is more fun when it's shared!

[behyper.livejournal.com]

I thought you're supposed to "nock" an arrow, not "knock" it. Did Paolini get it wrong now?

As someone who has survived both books...I LOVE YOU. Keep going and help me reclaim my sanity!

(I always thought it was kind of kooky that he was such a 1337 hunter, btw.)

[the7bells.livejournal.com]

"At the glen, he strung his bow with a sure touch, then drew three arrows and knocked one, holding the others in his left hand." (page seven). To knock an arrow you need two hands. Apparently he is able to do this and still hold two other arrows at the same time. Perhaps, instead he has three hands?

Er, and if he's shooting righty, as I suspect, HE WOULD BE HOLDING THE FREAKING BOW IN HIS LEFT HAND!!!!!! *splutter* There is no room for arrows and a bow in one hand! If it were possible, we wouldn't need quivers! He could possibly hold it in his right if he wanted to stab himself when he drew back. Take anatomy lessons and basic archery knowledge before writing Paolini kthnxdie.

[wyrdmuse.livejournal.com]

I was going to point this out too. It's nock, but most computer spellcheckers don't have it because it's often a misspelling of knock.

[superbanana01.livejournal.com]

I came over here from deleterius the other day, and I absolutely must commend you for this brilliant piece of... I don't know brilliance! :D

Especially that bit about the arrows. I can't believe all the stuff I missed; I thought the book was bad when I read it, but you're putting it in a whole new light of craptrasticalness. Wow. Thank you. ^_^

[shannon-zhang.livejournal.com]

I came over from deleterius and....All right, your journal is going to be watched! Your "sporking" of Eragon is brilliant! I've never noticed some details....Keep up the good work!

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

It is nock.

(It's the three arms)

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

*makes some gestures to work that out...*

Yes... you're right. Hence my third arm theory.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

I call it literary analysis. I got a degree in this stuff.

All I've been doing is looking at the words as an analysis and not as a reader. It's a different sort of mind set. Kind of the same sort you use when Sporking.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Thank you and welcome!

Bwahahaha!

[gothxxangel.livejournal.com]

This sporking is marvellous! Your attention to detail is great, as much as this novel is not great at all.

I'm also here from deleterius. I haven't read the book, but I've certainly heard enough about it (and that awful "We fight as one!!1!!" movie it's spawned) to find lots of amusement in your analysis of it.

[thelittlebudgie.livejournal.com]

Bless that Paolini, writing about a... hmm, what does one call someone with three hands? Tridexterous? XP Anyways, I'm far too amused by his 'knocking' the arrows.

Arrow: Knock knock
Eragon: Who's there?

Paolini's little war against good fantasy irks me greatly. I've friended you to keep track of the sporking, if you don't mind.

[the7bells.livejournal.com]

It is the only plausible solution.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Probably why his mother abandoned him.

Re: Bwahahaha!

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

What I heard about the book made me curious to go and see what the whoopla was about. It's better than advertised.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Perhaps he was hitting the arrows against the bow.

No worries! Friend away! Join in the fight against bad fantasy!

[the7bells.livejournal.com]

OOh, I must've missed that. Good plan on her part.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

The problem with Eragon is that there isn't anything (at least not yet) to balance out the Stuish traits. If these were present, then story would be a lot different. But there isn't anything there.

[shikomekidomi.livejournal.com]

Now, now, you're operating under the bad assumption that our hero cares about other human beings and is intelligent enough to recognize dangers more subtle than wild animals. Many mutations adversely affect brainpower (poor three armed man).
On a actual defense, I bet three out of four people would sell a meterorite -like object they found. Of course, those three out of four people aren't heroes or capable of saving pretty much anything, but that's beside the poit!
Regardless, I find your efforts amusing as they were no doubt intended.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Oh, I don't doubt that people would try to sell the stone. It's just that he had the thought, "This is a potentially dangerous magical object. If nothing else I can sell it for meat."

[shikomekidomi.livejournal.com]

Ah, I had no idea that he realized that so completely.
Maybe he's getting rid of it BECAUSE it's potentially dangerous and he actually wants to save his own hide by getting rid of it while simultaneously profitting?
Even better that he apparently tries to get it to the guy he doesn't like (or at least doesn't like him).

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

We don't learn that he dislikes the butcher until later. He just seems to be primarily interested in getting meat.

[shikomekidomi.livejournal.com]

Right, we don't learn. I'd assume he already knew though.
Although, I suppose you're right in that if he's attempting cunning it would work better if the author was more explicit.

[hiyami.livejournal.com]

Keep it and sell it for meat. Yes. This is what I would do with a potentially dangerous magical object. Sell it. Because God only knows what might happen to those poor people I've sold it to, if it turns out to be evil and horrible.

Well, nobody said the boy was supposed to be heroic. Except for the fact that his name is on the cover. *cough*