Bum Bum BuuumBummbuhmbumm...

[kippurbird]

Gifts of Gold pt.2


Eragon continues on his quest to give away absurdly large amounts of money by going to visit Jeod. There he runs into his wife Helen, who is not happy to see him. Helen, if we recall, is generally shrew like. She dislikes Jeod because he lost all of his money trying to help the Varden, even though they've been married for many years. She's non supportive just because she doesn't have money to do stuff. Or something.

We learn that Nasuada is showing favoritism, again, because he and Helen get an extra ration. Nasuada gives us an extra ration, so Nasuada gives us an extra ration, so do not restrain yourself for fear that we will go hungry on your account. It is poor fare compared with what we served you in Teirm, but then no one should go to war and expect to eat well, not even a king.”
do not restrain yourself for fear that we will go hungry on your account. It is poor fare compared with what we served you in Teirm, but then no one should go to war and expect to eat well, not even a king.” I don't know exactly what Jeod and his wife did to earn extra rations especially when we find out that they're not that important.

Helen irritably makes tea while Eragon and Jeod stare at anything but her. Then Jeod tries to explain why she's so irritable after she's stormed out.

Jeod spread his hands. “My position with the Varden is not as prominent as she had hoped, and she blames me for the fact. She agreed to flee Teirm with me, expecting, or so I believe, that Nasuada would vault me into the inner circle of her advisers, or grant me lands and riches fit for a lord, or some other extravagant reward for my help stealing Saphira’s egg those many years ago. What Helen did not bargain on was the unglamorous life of a common swordsman: sleeping in a tent, fixing her own food, washing her own clothes, and so on. It’s not that wealth and status are her only concerns, but you have to understand, she was born into one of the richest shipping families of Teirm, and for most of our marriage, I was not
unsuccessful in my own ventures. She is unused to such privations as these, and she has yet to reconcile herself to them.” His shoulders rose and fell a fraction of an inch. “My own hope was that this adventure—if it deserves such a romantic term—would narrow the rifts that have opened between us in recent years, but as always, nothing is ever as simple as it seems.”

I think that's a bit of a good reason to be cranky. Perhaps not as cranky as she is being portrayed as being, but still a good reason to be cranky. Her general hatred of everything is important for later in the chapter. Jeod is worried about his wife's happiness and how he wishes it to be some other way so she could be happy.

Jeod has been given the task of looking for secret entrances into other cities because he found the one that let them sneak into Galby's city and get Saphira's egg out. However, he's not doing it by scouting.

Nope, he's doing it by looking at papers.

“Everywhere I can.” Jeod brushed back the lock of hair that was hanging over his forehead. “Histories; myths; legends; poems; songs; religious tracts; the writings of Riders, magicians, wanderers, madmen, obscure potentates, various generals, anyone who might have knowledge of a hidden door or a secret mechanism or something of that ilk that we might turn to our advantage. The amount of material I have to sift through is immense, for all of the cities have stood for hundreds of years, and some antedate the arrival of humans in Alagaësia.”

Oh hay! Religious tracts! Where'd those come from? And why do I think they're like Chick Tracts?

Faceless Rider on a Throne with Dragon behind him: You have not accepted the teachings of the Dragon Riders and now you must suffer the consequences!

Person: No! I didn't know! I thought it was okay to believe in the gods!!

FRoaTwDbh: You were WRONG!!!

Person:*gets dragged off to a place that isn't hell because there isn't a hell but it sure looks like hell*

Little note on the bottom: Don't let this happen to you! Give up your religion and follow the teachings of the dragon riders! No, it's nothing at all like a religion, stop that.

Um. Anyway. I'm not really sure how some of those would help. And I think actually sending someone to the cities would be of better help. There's always someone who knows something for the right price. And it would give the Varden more recent information than myths and legends. The cities might be ancient but things change.

They then do small chit chat until Helen comes back with the tea. She seems less angry, and [Eragon] wondered if she had been listening outside to what Jeod had said about her. I would think so, knowing that your husband wishes he could make it some other way and realizes it's hard for her.

Eragon then gets to the meat of the matter. He came to tell Jeod how Brom died, like he promised to. Telling the story, Eragon gets emotional.

Eragon’s throat constricted as he spoke of Brom’s last hours, of the cool sandstone cave where he had lain, of the feelings of helplessness that had assailed Eragon as he watched Brom slipping away, of the smell of death that had pervaded the dry air, of Brom’s final words, of the sandstone tomb Eragon had made with magic, and of how Saphira had transformed it into pure diamond.

“If only I had known what I know now,” Eragon said, “then I could have saved him. Instead . . .”
Unable to summon words past the tightness in his throat, he wiped his eyes and gulped at his tea. He wished it were something stronger.

I think it might have been nice to actually hear his words. And it is a reaction of what someone would do if recounting hard memories.

But he gets over it. Instead the conversation drifts to Jeod and Brom's adventures and then they start talking about Morzan, Eragon's dad. Eragon wants to know about him, what he was like, what he looked like. Jeod tells him that he was a terribly fierce warrior, one you didn't want to face. When Jeod asks why Eragon wants to know so much about him, Eragon says this: Eragon blinked once. “I’m curious. He was the last of the Forsworn to die, and Brom was the one who slew him. And now Morzan’s son is my mortal enemy.”

I thought Galby was. And I didn't think Murtagh really wanted to fight him. It sounds good though.

Morzan was a speshul puppy in how he looked.

“Let me see, then,” said Jeod. “He was tall, he had broad shoulders, his hair was dark like a raven’s feathers, and his eyes were different colors. One was blue and one was black. His chin was bare, and he was missing the tip of one of his fingers; I forget which. Handsome he was, in a cruel, haughty manner, and when he spoke, he was most charismatic. His armor was always polished bright, whether mail or a breastplate, as if he had no fear of being spotted by his enemies, which I suppose he hadn’t. When he laughed, it sounded as if he were in pain.”

Yup. Speshul puppy, because you can't have EVIL looking normal. And he kept his armor clean. Missing the tip of one of his fingers reminds me of the six-fingered man, who was much cooler. I wonder if there's some symbolism in that. I do know that the two different colored eyes either are put in because Paolini thought that was cool or because he stole it from somewhere.

Then we get to the important part. Selena, Eragon's mum. Selena is apparently EVUL. Really Really Evul. Mara Jade Evil.

...in fact Mara Jade Evil and having her title almost as Morzan's Black Hand.

Oh and how Evil was Mara Jade Selena?

Jeod laughed. “If I had, I would not be here today. Morzan may have been a fearsome swordsman, a formidable magician, and a murderous traitor, but it was that woman of his who inspired the most terror in people. Morzan only used her for missions that were so repugnant, difficult, or secretive that no one else would agree to undertake them. She was his Black Hand, and her presence always signaled imminent death, torture, betrayal, or some other horror.” Eragon felt sick hearing his mother described thusly. “She was utterly ruthless, devoid of either pity or compassion. It was said that when she asked Morzan to enter his service, he tested her by teaching her the word for heal in the ancient language—for she was a spellcaster as well as a common fighter—and then pitting her against twelve of his finest swordsmen.”

Yeah. So Evil. In Star Wars the Emperor's Hands were his personal assassins, sounds kinda familiar, doesn't it? Not only that it seems like such a random thing to have happened. After all Selena grew up in Carvahall as Garrow was her brother. It looked like no one really left there. The time line also feels screwy.

Murtagh is about two or three years older than Eragon so, put him at eighteen. Morzan obviously had to be alive at the time to raise him, as he threw his sword at him at around age... three I think. Eragon had to have been born by then. Since Brom watched over Eragon since he was a baby I don't know when he could have left to have killed Morzan. Unless it happened right after Eragon was conceived.

I'm not sure anymore.

Anyway, so Eragon is unhappy to learn that both his parents are evil. (Because if your parents are evil, you are evil. It's genetic, you know. Like being gay or something. )

Soon after Morzan died, so did Selena. For apparently she couldn't live without him. And that reminds me of when Padame died after giving birth to Luke and Leia.

Yeeesh.


Hokay.

More later.

Comments

[anarchicq.livejournal.com]

and her presence always signaled imminent death, torture, betrayal, or some other horror.
Well, at least there are options....

[smurasaki.livejournal.com]

Good to see he's moved on to stealing from the Star Wars movies...to stealing from the expanded universe. *facepalm*

So much fail.

[torylltales.livejournal.com]

I don't even know what to say about this chapter. It's just so... devoid of emotional reactions. It doesn't make me feel horror that Eragon's parents were both evil. It doesn't make me feel pity for Eragon, or sympathy, or rage, or anything,. It is emotionally void.

Or maybe I am, after all the inhuman RAGE against the last two books and the first few chapters of this one.

[kevias.livejournal.com]

I'm just thinking on how differently evil fantasy rulers handle naming than how real ones do. The former prefer the obviously terrifying, whilst the latter blandly obscure.

Galby's special magicians are called the Black Hand, as is Morzan's wife, and he lives in Uru'baen, which apparently means "bad place" or some such.

By contrast, evil things in real life tend to either sound positive, or simply neutral. A Concentration Camp just sounds like some place where a bunch of people are concentrated. The SS are the "Protection Squadron", the KGB are the "Committee for State Security", the Einsatzgruppen are "Task Group", and lets not forget the French Revolution's "Committee for Public Safety".

Wouldn't, in a way, the prospect of having one's village taken over by the Population Restructuring Committee, a group of clean-shaven men in clean uniforms who talk only in vague-but-ominous terms such as Requisite Genetic Content, Penultimate Centralization, and Consequent Disposition be a bit more menacing than the usual bunch of black-clad minions who practice the same old smash-and-grab tactics?

[dove-cg.livejournal.com]

Yes, it would be more menacing. But most fantasy authors don't think of that because they're trying to name everything appropriately. After all, blandly obscure can become just as hilarious as obviously intending to terrify, when taken the wrong way, and making it blandly obscure is even easier to make humorous given that it is... blandly obscure? XD

That also seems to be more of a tactic that thriller and horror writers take, doesn't it? The blandly obscure names to produce menacing effects, I mean.

[dove-cg.livejournal.com]

Not to rain on your parade (it's a really fun parade!) but it isn't that hard to explain away described actions when the person who does said actions is never present. XD

[dove-cg.livejournal.com]

And in case my previous comment didn't come across right, I'll point out that I prefer your versions of Morzan and Selena as well. :3

[lenka0602.livejournal.com]

great point.

sometimes neutral names sound more ominous than the intentionally ominous ones which, more often than not, are just plain pathetic. (when I got to the "Black Hand part, I shrieked with furious rage)Also, "Legions of Doom" looks rather silly on official stationary.

Missing tip?

[(Anonymous)]

I know it! Is Morzan missing the tip of his little finger? Then...

Morzan is (was) a Yakuza!
Dun Dun DUUN!

Galbatorix is a Japanese! He is the chief of the Triad!
Dun Dun DUUN!

I'm crazy and this is nonsense!
Dun Dun DUUN!

[faded-enmity.livejournal.com]

I think I want stationery that says that, now. Nice, flowery letterhead, too.

[lenka0602.livejournal.com]

flowery motif is, of course, mandatory.

[x-trickster-x.livejournal.com]

Kind of reminds me of this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2G7Aqj2R8Og)

[easol.livejournal.com]

Luvthatexplanation. It's much more interesting...

[easol.livejournal.com]

Excellent point. I'm even thinking of mythical names like "Mordred," which despite the sinister vibe it has acquired over time actually means "brave."

[easol.livejournal.com]

With little naked cherubs holding the "Black Legions of Doom and Death" banner, surrounded by flowers!

[easol.livejournal.com]

Is there some society for discrimination against the heterochromic?

"I'm just waiting for the part where a "strong, independant" woman falls in love with a guy who raped her."

No no no! Shan't happen!

You see, all "strong independent" women are considered desirable in some way by the Stu, and thus they will never be rendered unworthy by sex (consensual or rape) with other men, ugly scarring, cellulite, ideological differences, etc.

All other women are fair game, though. They're vixens, shrews or crusty but lovable grandmas.

[kitsuneikkin.livejournal.com]

Differently-colored eyes makes me think of Yuna from Final Fantasy X, or white cats (in which it's apparently pretty common). I've never really thought of it as something to use for evil characters because of those associations.

I have to wonder what the intention behind making Morzan heterochromatic was - was it supposed to be a cool "speshul" thing, or or a creepy evil thing?

[torylltales.livejournal.com]

Morzan's eyes are different-coloured?

I immediately think that Morzan must be David Bowie.

(He's the most famous wall-eyed man out there, I auitomatically remember his when it comes to heterochromia)

Below: Morzan.

[dove-cg.livejournal.com]

My guess is special cool thing because that's how it tends to get used whenever it crops up in a character on the internet, particularly one in a fandom where this is an uncommon trend.

However, it could also mean he suffered a serious head injury in the past. That's how humans tend to get them (it's very hard for humans to acquire the trait through genetics. Much easier for other species to simply be born that way.) XD

[dove-cg.livejournal.com]

I thought wall-eyed meant having an eye that always naturally looks off in another direction? o.o

[torylltales.livejournal.com]

Huh. Maybe it is. I was told that wall-eyed meant having differend-coloured eyes, like one blue and one brown.

Anyway, Morzan totally should be played by Bowie, just because we know he'll take the absolute shit out of Paolini's work while still looking sexy in tights and leather.

[vytresna.livejournal.com]

Well, the Black Hand is the real, actual name of the group of assassins who started World War I. Which is one of the most unfortunate turns of all history, given that these schmucks failed at everything they ever tried besides killing the Austrian prince. They failed at preparing adequate cyanide pills for after, fercryingoutloud. But I digress.

Also, the SS did have little skull-and-crossbone lapels.

Sadly, I can't think of any named sinister medieval organizations off the top of my head (besides Crusaders, I guess), but if Crusaders' diaries are any indication, they're perfectly fine with being card-carrying villains.

[faded-enmity.livejournal.com]

Plenty of crusading soldiers, leaders, and noncombatants did right the best they could. Sorry, but I am honestly really sick of people talking about how evil the crusades were when atrocities were happening everywhere, against everyone, by every group and only by minorities of people within said groups. Knight orders even did the best they could (especially when take into account the political nature of the world at the time) and the exceptions were just that: exceptions. Unfortunately, they're also the only ones anyone cares to portray because that's so much cooler than monks giving aid to the wounded on both sides, and trying to help the sick.

And the Egyptian, Arabic, and Turkish forces did just as terrible of things, and they were all topped by the Mongols.

While I'm sure you don't actually believe that Crusaders were evil across the board, saying things that further that perspective sadden me because it just furthers ignorance and misunderstanding in people who don't already know better, of which there are many.

[easol.livejournal.com]

Thank you for saying that.

[guardians-song.livejournal.com]

And unlike some fanficcers-turned-pro, I'm not going to take 'em down. They're free and available for good.
:D For which your fans are very, very grateful.

[huinesoron.livejournal.com]

I've worked it out! I know what Paolini's up to! I know why it's all a rip-off of Star Wars!

The realisation came when I saw the description of Morzan. On reading aloud, it sounds like C-3PO is saying it (seriously). And that's the hint. This is all an elaborate fanfic. Specifically, "Eragon" is some spoilt rich kid on Coruscant. Abandoned and ignored by his parents, he constructs an elaborate fantasy world in which he is a hero who no one ignores. It's created in equal parts by imaginary vistas and his family's collection of droids. They even come in the appropriate different sizes. Of course, no one expects this spoilt kid to make a good story...

I'm still working on fitting the dragon in.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

I wonder what some other horror is.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Star Wars movies.. .Star Wars Expanded Universe... same difference.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

I know it, it's one of those info drops. Here let me show you my background!

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

I want to make this now...

Re: Missing tip?

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Just like the rest of this book!

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Likely not. Women don't get raped in this book. However Arya is a Strong Independent Woman who will fall in love with Eragon who rescued her from being raped.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Some sort of riding beast of his?

[shmeiliarockie.livejournal.com]

I think that's having a "lazy" eye.

[torylltales.livejournal.com]

She rescued herselkf, remember? By making all the guys go limp?

Yeah.

XD

[dove-cg.livejournal.com]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wall-eyed
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/walleye

Dictionary.com doesn't seem to agree but Merriam Webster does. So apparently wall-eyed can sort of mean both things (but heterochromia is something different, which is what Morzan has.)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heterochromia

[gjohnsonkoehn.livejournal.com]

Then we get to the important part. Selena, Eragon's mum. Selena is apparently EVUL. Really Really Evul. Mara Jade Evil.

Mara Jade wasn't particularly evil; for the most part she was used to deal with perfectly acceptable targets, like embezzling sector governors and rebellious or treasonous individuals. There's no real indication that, as an Emperor's Hand, she did anything worse than what slightly Lawful Evil CIA agents would do today. Indeed, there are several incidents in which she used her authority and discretion to save and protect people whom she believed were of some worth to the greater good, such as General Deerian or the renegade-but-moral stormtroopers known as the Hand of Judgement.