My view on government and problem solving

[kippurbird]

Kippur's Newspaper Initiative.

A way to sensibly solve problems with today's world leaders and other conflicts.

As we all know, leaders of countries often have trouble agreeing on things that really seem to be, in the common person's eye kinda dumb and trivial. For example people bomb one side because the other side bombed them because they got bombed, and so on and so forth. Or governments complain about lack of money for schools because they cut programs for them and give the money to other sillier things. Obviously these are rather silly things.

My solution is this:

1. Take the two leaders of a conflict, or the person in charge of say writing bills, or whoever is doing something stupid.
2. Sit them in a room together.
3. Have them discuss terms of what they'd like for a compromise.
4. Whenever someone says something stupid, bash them over the head with a rolled up newspaper and say "Stop it" or something to that effect.
5. Repeat as necessary.
6. If a rolled up newspaper doesn't seem to have much of an effect, move onto heavier objects such as a book, bat, oar or an anvil if they seem to be exceptionally thick.
7. Reward good behavior.

An example of a session might be as follows:

George Bush is sitting in a room. The topic of the session is torture.

He says, "Torture is wrong and shouldn't be practiced unless we, the United States need to do it."

Bash him over the head with the newspaper and ask him to try again.

Repeat until you get the appropriate response: "Torture is wrong and shouldn't be practiced. No matter who is involved."

Comments

[karaotter.livejournal.com]

I agree 100% with this.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Not only that, but it gives emotional satisfaction.

[karaotter.livejournal.com]

Also a plus.

[falconwhitaker.livejournal.com]

You are a GENIUS. I am not kidding, nor am I being sarcastic. I would LOVE to implement this sort of a scheme in the UK as well.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

If you notice the initiative is for all leaders of countries, so it would be easy to implement in the UK.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Violence is always a plus.

[albijuli]

If a rolled up newspaper doesn't seem to have much of an effect, move onto heavier objects such as a book, bat, oar or an anvil if they seem to be exceptionally thick.

Someone's bound to resort to nuclear warheads- those are heavy, you know.

Before you know it WORLD WAR THREEEEEEE

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Nuclear warheads aren't allowed because you can't bash a person's head with them, like a rolled up newspaper, book, bat and oar. Okay... the anvil might be stretching it some...

[albijuli]

Oh, okay.

...what about a teeny nuclear warhead the size of a book? A really thick, boring, deadly book?

[falconwhitaker.livejournal.com]

That it is, that it is. Can I be the actual wielder of the newspaper, though? :D

[ajanefantasy.livejournal.com]

Would a cattle prod work? I would think that would make quite the impression.

Perfect. Except that..

[mad-troll.livejournal.com]

..if one is to take a look at leaders all around, anvils seem waayyy too light to have effect.

Also, wouldn't that configure as torture? (Sometime I think that the average brain-power among leaderships equals that of my cat. And she's retarded. =_=')

[(Anonymous)]

What you are proposing is torture. Way to go.