He's Dangerous.. but so what?
Jul. 28th, 2008 09:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kippurbirdI think I've spent over two hundred dollars getting ready for Comic Con. Well, everyone wish me luck in that something good happens.
And now, back to your some what regularly scheduled Twilight.
Chapter 7 : Nightmares
Last time Bella (Which now that I think about it, means beautiful) went to the beach and ran into a Jacob who basically told her that he was a werewolf and Edward was a vampire. Her reaction was basically nada. She didn't disbelieve him, believe him, tell him he was an idiot or anything. We got absolutely no emotional response from her at all at this admission. \~/
Once at home, she goes upstairs after telling her dad that she's going to do homework and she doesn't want to eat anything. There's an odd comment by her as she speaks of this: "There was a basketball game on that he was excited about, though of course I had no idea what was special about it, so he wasn't aware of anything unusual in my face or tone." Why does a basketball game have to be special for someone to get excited about it? Why is that comment even in there? \~/ It would have been fine with just, "There was a basketball game on that he was excited about so he didn't notice anything unusual in my face or voice." (Yes, I know, I changed some of the words around, but it sounds better this way to me.) The middle section of that sentence is completely superfluous* \~/
Anyway, she goes upstairs and does well, to me, the strangest thing. She takes out her CD player and old headphones. The book is written in at least 2003. iPods were around since 2001. It's highly unlikely that someone as spoiled as Bella would have a CD player still and not an iPod. And why would she use her old headphones? Why is this even an important detail? It's not an important detail. Beyond the fact that I'm now wondering why isn't she using her new headphones. \~/ If she had said something like "my well used headphones" or "well loved" that would be the similar idea but more detailed and character forming idea. My guess, on the whole iPod thing, is that Meyers' who isn't Bella's age and instead an adult, didn't realize that someone like Bella wouldn't have a CD player anymore. I suppose that is a forgivable offense, though it would have been nice if she researched what was popular at the time.
She puts the player on loud and is apparently trying to block out thoughts by distracting herself with the noise. I'm not sure why, but she is. And she somehow manages to fall asleep while singing and has a spoooooky dream.
She's back in the forest by the beach. Jacob is there telling her to run. Mike is calling out for her. Jacob then turns into a wolf and Edward shows up.
And she wakes up. In regards to this dream, I don't find it at all scary. There's not enough detail. There isn't anything in regarding to how Bella feels. The emotional responses, her body responses. When she takes that first step, is it out of her control? Is she frightened about his fangs? The fact that she doesn't seem to be able to control what she's doing? What about the fact that Jacob is now a large wolf? Does the wolf frighten her? Any of these sensory details would have made the nightmare more a nightmare and less of an outline of a nightmare. We don't know nothing about what she's feeling, so we don't feel anything, so we're not scared. \~/\~/ If you want to make something feel scary, or exciting or anything, you need to put in those sensory details, especially bodily ones. Breath catching in the throat, heart pounding, weak knees, stepping back startled.
Also? Glow in the Dark vampire? Not so much on the menacing side. It reminds me of those old Glow Worm toys that were popular when I was a kid. Really not the sort of image you want associated in a scary dream. \~/\~/\~/But if the text supported a scary feeling, then the likelihood of a glow in the dark vampire would be much more horrifying. I'm not sure by how much, but I'm fairly certain it wouldn't give images of snuggly toys from the eighties. \~/
Bella wakes up. It's five thirty in the morning. Dad's gone fishing. She goes on-line and I think her computer has a virus because as soon as it get connected to the internet hundreds of little pop-up ads show up. "Naturally, the screen was covered in pop-up ads. I sat in my hard folding chair and began closing all the little windows." This amuses me some. I don't know why. But it's such a strange sort of section. \~/ And it's still all very neutral. There isn't any sort of emotionality. Sure there's the "Naturally" but that's more of a sarcasm. \~/ She tells us how she's feeling several times, but we don't get the physical responses. "I sat in my hard floating chair" vs. "Annoyed at all the pop-up ads that covered my screen I sat in my hard folding chair, resigning myself to the few minutes it would take to close them all. Sometimes I wish I could get a new computer or at least get this one checked for viruses."
She goes on her search engine and types in "vampire". She finds one site called "Vampires A-Z" Since the page is simple and in black and white she assumes that it's academic looking. The page is an alphabetical listing of all the different kinds of vampires there are. Three catch her attention:
Ten bucks for those who can guess what sort of vampire the Cullens will turn out to be. \~/ I don't like this idea of the good and evil vampire thing, as I've constantly reiterated. Especially when there doesn't appear to be an established mythology of what sort of vampires there are. By giving us a list that there are vampires from A-Z but only one sort of good vampire it sort of indicates that Meyers' doesn't really understand the importance of a world mythology. She has all these bad vampires from all different cultures, but there's no real reason for them all to be bad. \~/
But I digress.
After having found out about all these different kind of vampires Bella goes out on a walk to angst. She wanders down the forest before finding a rather nice spot to sit in. It's a little cavern bench made by two trees, one fallen on the other. She then, finally, thinks about what she was told yesterday about vampires and werewolves.
Now, I've yet to hear Edward speak in any "phrases that better fit the style of a turn-of-the-century novel". And she's never mentioned him speaking like that. She should have mentioned it when she talked to him or heard him speak. \~/ Dropping it in now is a very WTF moment as I don't know where this came from. \~/ The other things have been accounted for and noticed, so why hasn't this been? It should have been.
She comes up with two possible choices. Stay away from him which "I was gripped in a sudden agony of despair as I considered that alternative. My mind rejected the pain, quickly skipping on to the next option." \~/ \~/
Just because he saved your life doesn't mean he's not sinister. There could be other reasons why he did it. Like he needs a virgin sacrifice. Or you know, plotting something evil which the time isn't right for. Or he's trying to gain her trust, figuring she's stupid enough not to listen to his warnings and instead will find him deadly attractive. \~/ \~/ \~/ \~/ \~/ \~/ But as we've learned in previous books, if you're pretty you're automatically good so Bella has nothing to worry about. \~/ \~/
The co-dependency is getting a bit old. And weird. It's like she's going to die if she's not with him. Probably she will. Meyers is trying to make a point about this. Unfortunately she's pounding it in a bit too hard. It should have been something more subtly done, so that we can slowly see her growing more attached and her perhaps realizing her attachment. \~/ At least if it was more subtle it would come as a surprise to us when we find out why she's like this. As opposed to, at least how I feel, come on all ready. Enough. Stop thinking about this all the time. Blah, blah. Edward! Edward! \~/\~/
She goes home and thinks about how she should feel scared since she learned about what Edward is, but she just wasn't and she didn't know why. Bella goes home and changes from sweatpants to jeans and a tee-shirt because she's just staying in doors. Personally, I would have done it the other way. But what do I know? She does her homework. She thinks about her decision to just let Edward do what he wants to her, with the thought: "This decision was ridiculously easy to live with. Dangerously easy."
There's something wrong with that when you're saying that you've just made a potentially life threatening decision in favor of doing the life threatening decision and saying it was easy. \~/ It indicates that you don't understand what you've done, the repercussions of such a decision and the dangers of the said situation.\~/\~/\~/ It reminds me of the Disney version of Aladdin when Aladdin tells the Genie that yeah, sure, he'd free him with is third wish. He did it without thinking because it seemed like a good idea at the time. Later on though, he starts to regret it after all a wish is a powerful thing. And perhaps you might want to use it for yourself and not for someone else. In regards to Bella, she she makes this decision without thought and makes her look very idiotic, which I think is not what Meyers wanted to portray her as. \~/\~/\~/
So satisfied with this decision, she does a paper and makes a dinner of fish when her dad comes home with a lot of it. Her only thought being that she needs to get a book on how to cook fish.
More on this chapter later. It seems like a good break for a very long chapter.
--.
*I've always wanted to use that word in a sentence.
And now, back to your some what regularly scheduled Twilight.
Chapter 7 : Nightmares
Last time Bella (Which now that I think about it, means beautiful) went to the beach and ran into a Jacob who basically told her that he was a werewolf and Edward was a vampire. Her reaction was basically nada. She didn't disbelieve him, believe him, tell him he was an idiot or anything. We got absolutely no emotional response from her at all at this admission. \~/
Once at home, she goes upstairs after telling her dad that she's going to do homework and she doesn't want to eat anything. There's an odd comment by her as she speaks of this: "There was a basketball game on that he was excited about, though of course I had no idea what was special about it, so he wasn't aware of anything unusual in my face or tone." Why does a basketball game have to be special for someone to get excited about it? Why is that comment even in there? \~/ It would have been fine with just, "There was a basketball game on that he was excited about so he didn't notice anything unusual in my face or voice." (Yes, I know, I changed some of the words around, but it sounds better this way to me.) The middle section of that sentence is completely superfluous* \~/
Anyway, she goes upstairs and does well, to me, the strangest thing. She takes out her CD player and old headphones. The book is written in at least 2003. iPods were around since 2001. It's highly unlikely that someone as spoiled as Bella would have a CD player still and not an iPod. And why would she use her old headphones? Why is this even an important detail? It's not an important detail. Beyond the fact that I'm now wondering why isn't she using her new headphones. \~/ If she had said something like "my well used headphones" or "well loved" that would be the similar idea but more detailed and character forming idea. My guess, on the whole iPod thing, is that Meyers' who isn't Bella's age and instead an adult, didn't realize that someone like Bella wouldn't have a CD player anymore. I suppose that is a forgivable offense, though it would have been nice if she researched what was popular at the time.
She puts the player on loud and is apparently trying to block out thoughts by distracting herself with the noise. I'm not sure why, but she is. And she somehow manages to fall asleep while singing and has a spoooooky dream.
She's back in the forest by the beach. Jacob is there telling her to run. Mike is calling out for her. Jacob then turns into a wolf and Edward shows up.
"Jacob!" I screamed. But he was gone. In his place was a large red-brown
wolf with black eyes. The wolf faced away from me, pointing toward the
shore, the hair on the back of his shoulders bristling, low growls
issuing from between his exposed fangs.
"Bella, run!" Mike cried out again from behind me. But I didn't turn. I
was watching a light coming toward me from the beach.
And then Edward stepped out from the trees, his skin faintly glowing, his
eyes black and dangerous. He held up one hand and beckoned me to come to
him. The wolf growled at my feet.
I took a step forward, toward Edward. He smiled then, and his teeth were
sharp, pointed.
"Trust me," he purred.
I took another step.
The wolf launched himself across the space between me and the vampire,
fangs aiming for the jugular.
And she wakes up. In regards to this dream, I don't find it at all scary. There's not enough detail. There isn't anything in regarding to how Bella feels. The emotional responses, her body responses. When she takes that first step, is it out of her control? Is she frightened about his fangs? The fact that she doesn't seem to be able to control what she's doing? What about the fact that Jacob is now a large wolf? Does the wolf frighten her? Any of these sensory details would have made the nightmare more a nightmare and less of an outline of a nightmare. We don't know nothing about what she's feeling, so we don't feel anything, so we're not scared. \~/\~/ If you want to make something feel scary, or exciting or anything, you need to put in those sensory details, especially bodily ones. Breath catching in the throat, heart pounding, weak knees, stepping back startled.
Also? Glow in the Dark vampire? Not so much on the menacing side. It reminds me of those old Glow Worm toys that were popular when I was a kid. Really not the sort of image you want associated in a scary dream. \~/\~/\~/But if the text supported a scary feeling, then the likelihood of a glow in the dark vampire would be much more horrifying. I'm not sure by how much, but I'm fairly certain it wouldn't give images of snuggly toys from the eighties. \~/
Bella wakes up. It's five thirty in the morning. Dad's gone fishing. She goes on-line and I think her computer has a virus because as soon as it get connected to the internet hundreds of little pop-up ads show up. "Naturally, the screen was covered in pop-up ads. I sat in my hard folding chair and began closing all the little windows." This amuses me some. I don't know why. But it's such a strange sort of section. \~/ And it's still all very neutral. There isn't any sort of emotionality. Sure there's the "Naturally" but that's more of a sarcasm. \~/ She tells us how she's feeling several times, but we don't get the physical responses. "I sat in my hard floating chair" vs. "Annoyed at all the pop-up ads that covered my screen I sat in my hard folding chair, resigning myself to the few minutes it would take to close them all. Sometimes I wish I could get a new computer or at least get this one checked for viruses."
She goes on her search engine and types in "vampire". She finds one site called "Vampires A-Z" Since the page is simple and in black and white she assumes that it's academic looking. The page is an alphabetical listing of all the different kinds of vampires there are. Three catch her attention:
Only three entries really caught my attention: the Romanian Varacolaci, a
powerful undead being who could appear as a beautiful, pale-skinned human, the Slovak Nelapsi, a creature so strong and fast it could massacre an entire village in the single hour after midnight, and one other, the Stregoni benefici.
About this last there was only one brief sentence.
Stregoni benefici: An Italian vampire, said to be on the side of goodness, and a mortal enemy of all evil vampires.
Ten bucks for those who can guess what sort of vampire the Cullens will turn out to be. \~/ I don't like this idea of the good and evil vampire thing, as I've constantly reiterated. Especially when there doesn't appear to be an established mythology of what sort of vampires there are. By giving us a list that there are vampires from A-Z but only one sort of good vampire it sort of indicates that Meyers' doesn't really understand the importance of a world mythology. She has all these bad vampires from all different cultures, but there's no real reason for them all to be bad. \~/
But I digress.
After having found out about all these different kind of vampires Bella goes out on a walk to angst. She wanders down the forest before finding a rather nice spot to sit in. It's a little cavern bench made by two trees, one fallen on the other. She then, finally, thinks about what she was told yesterday about vampires and werewolves.
Immediately my mind responded with a resounding negative. It was silly
and morbid to entertain such ridiculous notions. But what, then? I asked
myself. There was no rational explanation for how I was alive at this
moment. I listed again in my head the things I'd observed myself: the
impossible speed and strength, the eye color shifting from black to gold
and back again, the inhuman beauty, the pale, frigid skin. And more —
small things that registered slowly — how they never seemed to eat, the
disturbing grace with which they moved.
And the way he sometimes spoke, with unfamiliar cadences and phrases that better fit the style of a turn-of-the-century novel than that of a twenty-first-century
classroom. He had skipped class the day we'd done blood typing. He hadn't
said no to the beach trip till he heard where we were going. He seemed to
know what everyone around him was thinking… except me. He had told me he
was the villain, dangerous…
Now, I've yet to hear Edward speak in any "phrases that better fit the style of a turn-of-the-century novel". And she's never mentioned him speaking like that. She should have mentioned it when she talked to him or heard him speak. \~/ Dropping it in now is a very WTF moment as I don't know where this came from. \~/ The other things have been accounted for and noticed, so why hasn't this been? It should have been.
She comes up with two possible choices. Stay away from him which "I was gripped in a sudden agony of despair as I considered that alternative. My mind rejected the pain, quickly skipping on to the next option." \~/ \~/
I could do nothing different. After all, if he was something… sinister,
he'd done nothing to hurt me so far. In fact, I would be a dent in
Tyler's fender if he hadn't acted so quickly. So quickly, I argued with
myself, that it might have been sheer reflexes. But if it was a reflex to
save lives, how bad could he be? I retorted. My head spun around in
answerless circles.
Just because he saved your life doesn't mean he's not sinister. There could be other reasons why he did it. Like he needs a virgin sacrifice. Or you know, plotting something evil which the time isn't right for. Or he's trying to gain her trust, figuring she's stupid enough not to listen to his warnings and instead will find him deadly attractive. \~/ \~/ \~/ \~/ \~/ \~/ But as we've learned in previous books, if you're pretty you're automatically good so Bella has nothing to worry about. \~/ \~/
And I knew in that I had my answer. I didn't know if there ever was a
choice, really. I was already in too deep. Now that I knew — if I knew —
I could do nothing about my frightening secret. Because when I thought of
him, of his voice, his hypnotic eyes, the magnetic force of his
personality, I wanted nothing more than to be with him right now.
The co-dependency is getting a bit old. And weird. It's like she's going to die if she's not with him. Probably she will. Meyers is trying to make a point about this. Unfortunately she's pounding it in a bit too hard. It should have been something more subtly done, so that we can slowly see her growing more attached and her perhaps realizing her attachment. \~/ At least if it was more subtle it would come as a surprise to us when we find out why she's like this. As opposed to, at least how I feel, come on all ready. Enough. Stop thinking about this all the time. Blah, blah. Edward! Edward! \~/\~/
She goes home and thinks about how she should feel scared since she learned about what Edward is, but she just wasn't and she didn't know why. Bella goes home and changes from sweatpants to jeans and a tee-shirt because she's just staying in doors. Personally, I would have done it the other way. But what do I know? She does her homework. She thinks about her decision to just let Edward do what he wants to her, with the thought: "This decision was ridiculously easy to live with. Dangerously easy."
There's something wrong with that when you're saying that you've just made a potentially life threatening decision in favor of doing the life threatening decision and saying it was easy. \~/ It indicates that you don't understand what you've done, the repercussions of such a decision and the dangers of the said situation.\~/\~/\~/ It reminds me of the Disney version of Aladdin when Aladdin tells the Genie that yeah, sure, he'd free him with is third wish. He did it without thinking because it seemed like a good idea at the time. Later on though, he starts to regret it after all a wish is a powerful thing. And perhaps you might want to use it for yourself and not for someone else. In regards to Bella, she she makes this decision without thought and makes her look very idiotic, which I think is not what Meyers wanted to portray her as. \~/\~/\~/
So satisfied with this decision, she does a paper and makes a dinner of fish when her dad comes home with a lot of it. Her only thought being that she needs to get a book on how to cook fish.
More on this chapter later. It seems like a good break for a very long chapter.
--.
*I've always wanted to use that word in a sentence.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-07-28 05:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-28 05:33 pm (UTC)A vârcolac is a Romanian werewolf. F. you, Stephenie Meyer!
no subject
Date: 2008-07-28 06:28 pm (UTC)Stengoni sounds an awful lot like Strigoi, the Romanian vampire ideas that I took for my novel. I will hate the first person to suggest I took the idea from the Twilight books. Especially since I was working on my novel long before I ever saw them.
no subject
Date: 2008-07-28 07:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-28 07:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-28 08:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-28 08:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-28 10:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-28 10:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-28 10:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-28 11:54 pm (UTC)And she did NOT take them from Meyers, thank fuck. Richelle's books are amazing and so much more deserving of fandoms and movies.
no subject
Date: 2008-07-29 12:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-29 12:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-29 01:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-10 05:15 am (UTC)I think Bella's just saying here that she doesn't understand why Charlie gets excited about sports.
Bella's computer...gah. There's such a thing as a free antivirus program, Bella. Go download one already!