Pointless chapter is pointless

[kippurbird]

If you were wondering where the Anita things went, I had to return the book to the library. Fortunately, I suppose, I've gotten back.

Don't you all shout at once with joy.




Chapter thirty seven

We left off with Richard throwing Haven -the lion- into the fireplace. The fight rolls on in the background as we focus on Anita once again. After all, she's the important one. Noel, one of the young were-lions tells her that she's going to pick an animal to call. See, she's so special that she's going to have a different animal to call for each type of lycanthropy she has. Nathaniel is her leopard, Richard her wolf so now she needs a lion and they don't want it to be one of Auggie's. When Anita says this is impossible, Noel says, "Everything you do is impossible, Anita."

Once again, when you have characters admitting that your heroine is doing something impossible, or in this case everything impossible, you have a major problem. You need to keep your characters in the constrains of the reality you have created. Your reality may have flying wizards who can change into butterflies, but if they can only change into butterflies then you can't have one change into a moth or a hummingbird because that would be against the constrains of your reality. If you find your characters remarking on this, you need to go back and try to make it so that you can have such a situation that will achieve what you want but without breaking the rules of reality.

Noel and Travis tell Anita that Joseph is afraid that Haven or Pierce will take over the pride because they're stronger than him.

Continuing in the background, Richard and Haven beat each other up.

There is an interesting comment about the were-lions group.

The lions' pride worked; they were one of the few wereanimal groups in town that let theri people lead nearly ordinary lives. No power struggles, no hiring bodyguards. Joseph's people were people first, animals seconds.

Why is it that the lions are the only ones who are able to do this? It's obvious that it's possible from this statement and yet the other weres insist on leading this dangerous and frankly annoying way of life. I'm not sure what the bodyguard comment means, but I think it means that they don't have to work only as bodyguards (or stripers)as seems to be the case with the other weres. It makes me wonder why the other animal groups would chose to work in their own hierarchal way.

Richard manages to subdue Haven, but Haven doesn't stay down. When Richard offers to help him back up, Haven sucker kicks him in the knee, trying to dislocate it.

Not the balls.

But the knee.

Haven is a large, brute, strong man. A kick there would be severely damaging. A knee is healable. Which maybe why Hamilton didn't want Richard kicked in the balls. It would hurt his penis and then he could have angst sex with Anita anymore. It's the only reason that makes sense. Hamilton has made Haven stupid for the sake of protecting Richard's penis. Because penises are the most important part of a man. Haven is down after that. And Anita pulls her gun on him.

Anita tells Haven that he needs to go back to Chicago. Haven says that if he knows the rules he'll follow them. Auggie reiterates this, saying that he also has to know the consequences if he breaks them.

That one statement let me know that I should pack his ass home to Chicago, but I couldn't do it. Standing there while he bled, knowing what he'd just done to Richard and the two young werelions, knowing all that, I still wanted to drop down and spill my body over his. Fuck.

Beyond the sudden transformation of Anita turning into a bucket of water, Anita is thinking with her clit. Or perhaps it should be vagina because her clit doesn't seem to exist. She only orgasms when she's got a cock in her. Though from what I know it's actually harder for a woman to get off with just vaginal intercourse and clitoral stimulation is much more satisfying for most women. But I guess if Anita were big on clitoral stimulation then we would be hearing about the size of the men's hands than the size of their penises and that's just isn't as sexy.
<,<

Haven and Anita have a pissing contest where Haven tries to get Anita to back down and vice versa. After Anita goes all Zen into that place where she goes to kill people, Haven backs down.

As they piss at each other, Anita says that she doesn't compromise her rules for "lust or power or love". I'm over her in the corner laughing. She doesn't have any rules beyond are they pretty? For fucking.

Chapter thirty eight

Anita goes over to comfort Richard (without sex)while imagining licking the blood off of Haven's wounds and do things with him despite all of the bad things Haven did. The Doctor is called for. They have a special doctor for the weres, which makes sense to me. Because sometimes you don't want the doctor to know about things. Again showing that Hamilton thought things through some.

They tie up Haven. The guards do, who were apparently sitting around with their thumbs up their asses while Richard and Haven beat each other to a pulp. Oh wait, they couldn't interfere, it was a matter of dominance. RIiiight. Let's let one of our guys potentially killed because of dominance shit.

It reminds me of the Firefly episode "War Stories" where at the end, Wash, Zoe and Jayne find Mal fighting this bad guy. Mal's been seriously injured and died. His ear has also been cut off. Wash, I believe, tries to shoot the bad guy when Zoe says, "No, this is something the captain has to do for himself." Mal then shouts out, "No, No it's not!" So, Zoe shrugs and she and the other two shoot the bad guy dead. The only reason why they didn't fire first is because Zoe thought that Mal needed to do this for his honor. But, their initial response was to shoot the guy. Even Zoe's. Here, in Blake, we didn't even realize the guards were there until Anita talked to them. No one tried to stop Haven from coming in. No one tried to stop Haven from hurting Noel and Travis. No one did anything or said anything. No one even had to call them off. It was as if they just materialized from the Enterprise. But without the red shirts. They should have red shirts. Then they'd all die. *happy thoughts*

Anita's beasts start to rise for a brief moment and then stops when she cuddles Jean-Claude. Then it turns out that Anita isn't trying to make Haven her animal to call but instead "he'll be Rex to your Regina". Why yes. Anita's getting another "title". If she continues getting more of them, she'll drown.

Oh, wait, she's a bucket of water. Never mind.

Comments

[authoressarktos.livejournal.com]

Once again, when you have characters admitting that your heroine is doing something impossible, or in this case everything impossible, you have a major problem. You need to keep your characters in the constrains of the reality you have created. Your reality may have flying wizards who can change into butterflies, but if they can only change into butterflies then you can't have one change into a moth or a hummingbird because that would be against the constrains of your reality. If you find your characters remarking on this, you need to go back and try to make it so that you can have such a situation that will achieve what you want but without breaking the rules of reality.

Actually, I've seen cases where it can be pulled off. However, it usually requires some damn good writing, compelling characterization and a reasonable explanation...none of which LKH has done, of course. *sighs*

[amamelina.livejournal.com]

it usually requires some damn good writing, compelling characterization and a reasonable explanation.

Hehe, in a LKH novel? Now, that's just crazy talk. :-P

Though, I agree. Each chapter is nothing but Anita's problems, her powers and her desires. I'm glad I stopped reading the books by now. I"d be tempted to throw it across the room.

[jeriendhal.livejournal.com]

Y'know, my favorite science fiction character is a (possibly) bi-sexual, fifteen year-old alien pretty boy who is capable of high jumping 20 meters, producing more power with his body than a nuclear fusion reactor, walk outside in a vacuum without a spacesuit for almost thirty minutes and can survive for a week with no food, no water and a massive gut wound and he's still more believably written than Anita.

Mostly because while he can be an asshole, everyone around him is more than willing to call him out on it.

[emily-goddess.livejournal.com]

I know you usually make your own icons, but I thought you might find some of these amusing. They're Anita Blake snark icons. Did you know there was a graphic novel? With really bad artwork?

[wariena.livejournal.com]

Noel and Travis tell Anita that Joseph is afraid that Haven or Pierce will take over the pride because they're stronger than him.

Well, of course. Because "Haven" and "Pierce" are much flashier names then Joseph. And everyone knows that the AB power equation goes: Power = (Prettiness + Name Weirdness) x Penis Size / Sexual Uptightness

They should have red shirts. Then they'd all die. *happy thoughts*

Aw, no, don't kill the redshir- I mean, er, guards! They may be generical doormats but they have yet to me tainted by Anita's majikal va-jay jay. They can still be saved!

[mranon-y-mous.livejournal.com]

OMG, the comic. The picture of the half naked pretty boy with the long prehensile hair always cracks me up.

[jeriendhal.livejournal.com]

*Blinks* Oh, wererats, right

I thought you were talking about this one for a minute.

[mranon-y-mous.livejournal.com]

Yes, this picture http://bp3.blogger.com/_5bcfpMCxb6I/RrTqRGllqQI/AAAAAAAAAFs/Vm5cuXuMrTM/s400/23.jpg.

[dryaunda.livejournal.com]

Kicking at a knee instead of the groin makes perfect sense. A werelion probably has a high enough pain threshold that thumped gonads will only be a distraction. Not only that, but crotch kicks are both unbalancing and subconsciously defended against because of accumulated cliché. Both self-defense classes I took taught me to kick at the knee, at the very least giving the attacker a limp.

[emily-goddess.livejournal.com]

From the icons, I can't tell if she has curly tattoos, or just constantly has her hair in her face. I'm guessing the latter, but there's no depth so I can't really tell.

There's a pretty boy with prehensile hair? I haven't actually read the comic, but...wow. I mean, pretty boys are pretty much par for the course with LKH, but prehensile hair? Well, if Jim Butcher can make it look cool...

[mranon-y-mous.livejournal.com]

http://bp3.blogger.com/_5bcfpMCxb6I/RrTqRGllqQI/AAAAAAAAAFs/Vm5cuXuMrTM/s400/23.jpg.

[evewithanapple.livejournal.com]

The difference between this and Firefly is, the characters on Firefly actually have functional relationships that go beyond who they want to have sex with. The sex dynamic is there, but it doesn't overshadow the rest of the plots and other aspects of the relationships. Which I believe is what Hamilton used to do. A very, very long time ago. Her characters only care about getting laid, so no one cares if the others get hurt- they can just find someone else to sleep with. Oh, and one of the writers in competent, and the other's a hack.

Can you imagine is Joss Whedon took over this series? It might actually be readable again. *daydreams*

[emily-goddess.livejournal.com]

Wow. I forget that LKH's idea of male attractiveness is pretty different from mine. I think he looks ridiculous in that jockstrap.

[mranon-y-mous.livejournal.com]

Which I believe is what Hamilton used to do.

No, she still does it.

[brightrosefox.livejournal.com]

I still wanted to drop down and spill my body over his.

Uh...

*pinches bridges of nose while wincing*

Laurell, sweetie, I know you want to sound all metaphorical and symbolic and pretty-prosey and stuff, but that doesn't work. It just doesn't. Stop it. Oy.

[jeriendhal.livejournal.com]

No, no. She meant spill her bodily fluids over him. Which means she might bleed to death and the pain will end!

[brightrosefox.livejournal.com]

Ahh, right, right. Because in Anitaland, "body" is the alternate word for "any part or function related to genitals."

My favorite scene is still the one where she's blowing Jean-Claude and she takes his body into her mouth, or slides her mouth over his body, or something like that. Ha ha.

[smurasaki.livejournal.com]

Not only is everything about the sex, the magical, magical (stupid) sex, but LKH keeps contradicting herself:

"The lions' pride worked; they were one of the few wereanimal groups in town that let their people lead nearly ordinary lives. No power struggles, no hiring bodyguards. Joseph's people were people first, animals second."

Does not go with "Joseph is afraid that Haven or Pierce will take over the pride because they're stronger than him." For that matter, it doesn't go well with Haven flaking out and beating people up.

And if the bodyguards aren't there to keep various weres and vampires and what-all from fighting, what are they there for? Decoration? LKH, bodyguards, you're doing them wrong. But then, she's doing pretty much everything wrong, so why should bodyguards be exempt from the wrong?

[kellicat.livejournal.com]

How many chapters are left in this stupid book?

[subieko.livejournal.com]

Wow, this book SUCKS. I actually am okay with a character saying 'but that's impossible!' about something that's, well, impossible--if a reason is, at some point, provided for WHY it happened. For example, if, in a world where, I dunno, time travel is impossible, the characters meet a time traveler, well, that's impossible. For that to work, I'd need the story to provide some reason WHY it worked--maybe he wasn't really a time traveler, maybe people were wrong about time travel being impossible, whatever. But there needs to be SOME explanation, random changes are just not good writing.

Unfortunately, I'm not seeing any plausible explanations for Anita's impossible-ness. Actually, I'm not even seeing an ATTEMPT at explaning. >_< Stupid canon Sue.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Actually, I've seen cases where it can be pulled off.

Yes, but also it's usually supported by the world's rules, even if the others don't know about it. Which does require, as you say, damn good writing etc.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

I like to say that it's not the powers that make a character believable or not, but how they're written.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Yes. I did. By Marvel. They also did the Dark Tower and some other ones too. I looked at it and was sad.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Aw, no, don't kill the redshir- I mean, er, guards! They may be generical doormats but they have yet to me tainted by Anita's majikal va-jay jay.

Actually, they have. Which is why they needed to leave after seeing Anita rape London. They now see her as a fuck toy.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Oh. Well. Shows you how much I know. Thanks!

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Joss Whedon on Anita Blake... that would be Interesting. There would be plot!

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

It's either a bucket of water, or now that I think about it, an amoeba engulfing its prey.

[brightrosefox.livejournal.com]

O_O

Ergh. Wow. What a mental image. And sadly, one that makes a lot of sense regarding Anita.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Does not go with "Joseph is afraid that Haven or Pierce will take over the pride because they're stronger than him."

I believe Joseph's pride is different than normal lion prides. And he's worried that if Haven takes over then it'll go back to being a "normal" pride.

I haven't figured out what the bodyguards are there for either. I think, as you say, they're decoration.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Too many. But then again, one would be too many.

[jacedraccus.livejournal.com]

Just about everyone in this book is there for decoration.

[jacedraccus.livejournal.com]

Still does what? Give her characters dimensions beyond 'sexsexsexprettysexsexwangstsex'?

I musta missed it...

[jacedraccus.livejournal.com]

Because heaven forbid SHE be seen as a fucktoy.... that's something she does to others. Never her!

[wariena.livejournal.com]

Oh, then by all means, shoot the buggers. =3

[elegantelbow.livejournal.com]

Totally off-topic, but I wanted to tell you that you have a fab_icon!

[amamelina.livejournal.com]

Awww, thanks, but I can't take credit. I stole it from kipper.