In which nothing happens.

[kippurbird]

Chapter Four.

Despite the fact that Triscuit completely ran away from his duties and classes and spent the day chasing magical butterflies, Earwig feels like he has no right to be upset at him. Despite the fact that Triscuit royally screwed up, Earwig doesn't feel like he has the right to be angry at him. This, ladies and gentlemen is another hallmark of the Sue, when they can get away with things because of... whatever reason and it's just not their fault. Also Earwig instinctively (that's the word there) knows that Triscuit found the menstruation pools by accident. As opposed to logically reasoning it out. It's MAAAAGIC! *finger waggle* While he knows that Triscuit found them by accident, he doesn't know how he found them. By accident maybe?

So, Earwig is in council with the king and other five wizards. He is glad to see that the king still is wearing the blood clot (which apparently he can only take off to give it to the next king, so... it's a sort of silly thing to think. Unless Newcomb wanted to remind us of it's existence.) Earwig recounts the day's events. AAAANNNND we get another As You Know Bob.

"In addition, I know that all of you, including our king, are aware of the recent disappearances of a number of the lesser rural wizards over the last several months.

As You Know Bob, I believe that's number three of our As You Know Bobs.

Earwig tells the council and King that he knows that Triscuit entered the pools of Paragon. That is such a stupid name. His blood is changed he's glowing like a light bulb, his pants were stained from his first period. As You Know Bob this has never happened before. (AYKB #4) But it's not Triscut's fault and we must remember this, even though he ran off like a spoiled brat and followed magical butterflies. If he was better behaved and knew his responsibilities this would have never happened. Wait... sorry using logic again. My bad.

Apparently if people knew about the whole glowworm thingy they'd panic. Nooooot exactly sure why, but they would. But no one can see the glow so except Earwig, not even Triscuit can see it so it doesn't matter really does it? If other people could see it then there might be a problem but now it's just this thing, you know? That's supposed to be all strange and mysterious thing, you know? But if no one can see it there's no real point. They don't have to worry about other people finding out about it and spreading a panic.

Still this is not a Good Thing and apparently one of the effects of the blood pools is the desire for magical knowledge. As one of the wizards asks, "Does the hunger burn as bright in his eyes as the Tome foretells?"

I'm not really sure how you would tell that? Noo... I think it's lust... maybe amusement? Fire? Well it's something all right. Perhaps we should just ask him if he suddenly has the desire to learn magic. What? But the Tome says we can tell by the burning in his eyes! Does that mean he's got pink eye. I had that once. Had to use eye drops and everything.

I'm sorry... where was I?

Right! So, Burning eyes which apparently since the way he was born is a bad thing. So... the water made him less retarded? Oh an apparently it may make him completely unmanageable. The prince who acts like a nineteen year old brat might become unmanageable? God forbid!

They decided to bring Triscuit in. Triscuit glumly accepted his fate. That's the second time he's done that. Why doesn't he embrace it? I don't know. It's not like being sold to the salt mines or anything. (Though I wish he would be, then he might actually I dunno... be useful.) Blah, blah, they go through a magic/secret passage way. Blah there's an elevator (gravitating chamber) isn't that clever? Blah they're in a secret chamber.

Magical Secret Chambers! "The crossroads of the Redoubt of the Directorate". It's basically Hogwarts. But without the Witches. All the wizards are secretly sent out to do good deeds. Yes, it actually says that. Oh, and they're all give tattoos so that they can recognize each other without magic.

There are little kids there, boys of course, getting trained. As Earwig says, "The bond between a wizard and his child is a particularly strong one, and it is not uncommon for the son of a wizard to wish to travel with his father, rather than be left behind at home with his mother." And normal kids don't want to do that either? Do normal boys in this world want to sit around and spin? The little kids have already even taken those vows of do the Vigors or die thing. Because little kids really know what that means. This is CULT INDOCTRINATION HERE! THEY'RE BRAINWASHING THE KIDS!! They don't even give them a chance to say, "No, I don't want to be a wizard".

Apparently the entire point of this little walk through was so Earwig could think that Sister's kid is going to be an amazing wizard. He's just that special.

Okay and they're at the council and absolutely NOTHING of importance happens. Triscuit demands answers and they say "we're sorry we can't give them to you." Oh and one of Triscuit's tears "sadly fell to scatter like broken crystal upon the marble floor". They also forbid Triscuit to go to the caves again. Which he'll do anyway.

Family is called in. They guilt trip Triscuit into deciding to be king.

"The stone is meant to be worn by a man. One who is, indeed, man enough to honor it with his courage and his resolve."

Why is Mom talking to him like he's nineteen?

"But please, Mother, also understand that I know I have much to learn"

What has he been doing the past twenty nine years? Sitting around with a thumb up his ass?

Oh wait... no. He's had other things up his ass.

Comments

[syderia]

I'm confused as to Triscuit's age. Isn't he supposed to be an adult? If he's going to inherit the throne, shouldn't he sit on the Council?

From what you write, it sounds as if Newcomb wrote an teenager and then decided that having him be almost thirty would be cooler.

[jacedraccus.livejournal.com]

Other things.... like his head. Or maybe a hug.

Butt hugs for everyone!

[jacedraccus.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's true. It's not often that you get a 30 year old inexperienced hero...

[wariena.livejournal.com]

[i]All the wizards are secretly sent out to do good deeds. Yes, it actually says that.[/i]

... so they're Santa's elves as well? Wow. That's... that's pretty special.

[wariena.livejournal.com]

Gragh, bloody italics. >_>

[trinadi.livejournal.com]

What has he been doing the past twenty nine years? Sitting around with a thumb up his ass?

Oh wait... no. He's had other things up his ass.

...That just made my day. I'm going to be laughing all day now. And I'm thinking my fifteen year old main character is more mature than Triscuit. She doesn't whine or lament until something bad actually happens and the horse she has tries to bite her hand off when she feeds him. I am glad for logical imagination and horse books.

Oh and my school is officially treating Autism like a terrible disease. I would have gone to the meeting to see what they actually said, but I had a Physics culminating that period.

[the-norseman.livejournal.com]

Magical Secret Chambers! "The crossroads of the Redoubt of the Directorate". It's basically Hogwarts. But without the Witches. All the wizards are secretly sent out to do good deeds. Yes, it actually says that. Oh, and they're all give tattoos so that they can recognize each other without magic.

Ah yes! Because nothing makes more sense than to give all of your agents an easily recognisable mark, and a really awkward way of showing it. No way that could be used to identify your spies and agents! Nosirree!

[the-norseman.livejournal.com]

You know here's the answer to why girls like horses so much ;)

But seriously a spoiled, massively immature character who hasn't grown up one bit, and refuses to admit that he's getting older and need to accept responsibilities... That isn't so bad, what's annoying is when the people around him don't realise it.

Worse yet he's committing one of the classic mistakes, he's sleeping with the wives and daughters of the aristocracy and not giving them anything in return!

Forgive the emphasis, but in any semi-realistic state that would be enough to cause assassination plans and rebellions. Sure the Prince and the King can have mistresses, sometimes these mistresses are even married, often their husbands don't mind so much because having their wife be the mistress of the King gives him, the husband that is, influence with the court. Cynical sure but there you are.

However going through the wives and daughters of the aristocracy in a series of one night stands? Doing the same to commoners, and not giving the poor girl anything afterwards? You'd have songs like this sung before too long:

Pray let me sing thee a song,
Of vile Prince Tristan the rake!
He loved all that was wrong,
And did naught for glory's sake.

Why he spent his life in sloth,
When a maiden came to him in tears,
He laugh'd at what he'd wroth,
To see such a knight's heart sears.

Forgive the bad meter and rhyme, but I'm not a poet. No doubt a real medieval song would be raunchier and more filled with hate.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

He is twenty nine just about to turn thirty, but acts like a teenager.

My guess is that Newcomb was about thirty when he wrote this.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

He's not inexperienced! He knows how to do all sorts of stuff!

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

*snerks*

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

They're just all kinds of special.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

That's the problem with a lot of writers. They don't realize that just because it's fantasy doesn't mean there can't be logic. Logic, I think, is more important in fantasy than in other stories.

Oh and my school is officially treating Autism like a terrible disease. I would have gone to the meeting to see what they actually said, but I had a Physics culminating that period.

Is it an infectious disease? >:D

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Yes. I never understood that. It's like assassins or thieves having a secret tattoo. Once the guard knows about it, they'll catch you easily enough.

Now, I have characters that have tattoos, but the point of the tattoos is so that everyone knows what they are.

[the-norseman.livejournal.com]

The whole point is so that the heroes can discover who the Evul Traitor is in time, since all the bad guys have tattoos.

[(Anonymous)]

Yes. I never understood that. It's like assassins or thieves having a secret tattoo. Once the guard knows about it, they'll catch you easily enough.

Has a guard ever caught someone with an ebul tattoo before they committed a crime though? I vaguely remember a few instances where a tattoo was revealed after the crime, but never before.

[the-norseman.livejournal.com]

Well there's one weird Real World example of an evil group having a tattoo, and the good guys not knowing about it. I'm talking about the SS who had their bloodtype tattooed in their armpit, thus making all SS men immediately identifiable.

Despite this the Soviets, of all people, didn't catch on to this before long after the end of the war. Thus allowing several SS men to slip between their fingers.

Of course if you did this in a book it'd be ridiculous.

[authoressarktos.livejournal.com]

Magical Secret Chambers! "The crossroads of the Redoubt of the Directorate". It's basically Hogwarts. But without the Witches. All the wizards are secretly sent out to do good deeds. Yes, it actually says that. Oh, and they're all give tattoos so that they can recognize each other without magic.

I don't think there's a word in the dictionary for this kind of stupidity.

[trinadi.livejournal.com]

Is it an infectious disease? >:D

Oh I certainly hope not! Then all those poor people would kill themselves when they got it, because it's so horrible. We all know what a loss that would be.

"Hey look there goes another one!"
"Let's feed them to the animals!"
"...Poor animals."

( I can see that conversation taking place at my school, too )

[trinadi.livejournal.com]

You know here's the answer to why girls like horses so much ;)


And that made my weekend. It is so true, except I'm a tomboy, and I just want a horse so I can train it like a dog so that I can learn to ride properly and study horse behavior.

But seriously a spoiled, massively immature character who hasn't grown up one bit, and refuses to admit that he's getting older and need to accept responsibilities... That isn't so bad, what's annoying is when the people around him don't realise it.

I find both annoying. I don't really like immature characters, but maybe that's because I act 'mature for my age'. And secondary characters are brainless, surely you realized this by now? If they had actually noticed something wrong with the darling main character it would be the sign of the world reverting into its natural state of chaos.

Forgive the emphasis, but in any semi-realistic state that would be enough to cause assassination plans and rebellions.

Screw plans, I'm sure every house in the aristocracy he offended would send an assassin immediately, and if lucky they would kill the rest of his house, and proceed to fight over the throne. I would read that happily, unlike this crap.

[smurasaki.livejournal.com]

Yep. Amazingly, it's a secret order that failed more of the secrecy lessons than the Order of the Phoenix (which, let's face it, failed _a lot_ of secrecy lessons).