The Code almost breaks Kippur.
Nov. 13th, 2007 10:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kippurbirdToday's strange fact: There's a bottle of Worcestershire sauce in our fridge that my dad brought to the marriage. They'll have been married thirty three years on the twenty third.
Page 403 of 459 with big pictures! We're in the home stretch!
Sophie and Langdon finally get to Newton's tomb... with Orbs. And winged naked boys, and "an enormous orb". Large fleshy orbs. Well maybe not that. But still. Yammering about celestial bodies and Venus and yes. Blah, blah. \~/
And then they noticed that someone put some graffiti on Newton's tomb in pencil. Barely visible. Which makes me wonder... what if they didn't see it? I mean, that's taking a very big risk. Anyway it says, "I have Teabag. Go through Chapter House, out south exit, to public garden." Grammar killing me, must shoot, random people. Forced to talk, like Shatner,help, trapped in fortune cookie, factory can't get out. \~/
Sap... I almost wrote Saphira here. Which is interesting, because Sophie appears to have about the same roll in the Code as Saphira does in Eragon. Something to think about. Useless female sidekicks? ANYway, Sophie and Langdon discuss whether or not this could be a trap and stuff. And they decide to go and do it. Blah blah blah, they go to the Chapter House. \~/ \~/ \~/
There is lots of description. I skip over it. \~/
Finally they get to thingy and in there they see...\~/
Wait for it. \~/
Continue waiting for it. \~/
Keep on going...\~/
Teabing. With a gun pointed at them. \~/ \~/ \~/ \~/
*GASP* \~/
*guzzles bottle*
*hic*
Heeee... *giggles*
*passes out*
*returns to waking with a massive hangover*
Riiiiight.
Now we get the Villain's Monologue ©. \~/
No Really. Three pages of it. \~/
First he tells us that he had been trying to keep them out of harms way, but their persistence has put them in danger. That he had no intention of them being involved and that this all their fault because they came to him for help. Also, if he wanted to hurt them, they'd be dead by now.
He continues saying that he's a deeply honorable man and would only sacrifice people who were betrayed the holy grail. He discovered a horrible truth; the priory wasn't going to release the documents at the End of Days. Grandpa didn't do it because he felt that the time wasn't right. It wasn't the End of Days. He says that he killed Grandpa and the others because they betrayed the grail.
Some gobbilty gook about the church being evil and making grandpa sell out. And that he wanted to tell Sophie the truth about her family. The deaths of her mom, dad, grandma and brother were not accidental. The Church killed them to keep Grandpa silent. His proof of all this is that the new millennium has arrived and the word hasn't come out. Since Teabag felt that Grandpa had betrayed the grail, he had been dead a long time ago and thus he didn't kill grandpa. And that now grandpa is free of his pane and shame.
Now they're free to fulfill their destiny of releasing the news of the holy grail to the world.
Now, look at this. First of all, we have no idea how Teabag got from out of the back seat of the car since Remy clearly didn't know he was the Teacher. And Teabag was clearly at the park before Remy got there and clearly tied up before hand. Then, who put him in charge of deciding what is the right thing for the Priory to do? Is he apart of it? No. But he's some... nitwit who's obsessed to freakish levels with it. I mean obviously psychotic levels of it. And how does he know when it's the End of Times? Does he have a calendar? I mean really, aren't there supposed to be signs for the End Of Times? \~/ \~/
I think he's been reading too much Jack Chick. \~/
Deep breath. Breath. I can breath.
Langdon has an intelligent thought. Get out of there.
Teabag gives them the Keystone back as a token of trust.
He then uses the fact that Landon and Sophie randomly came to his house with the Keystone is proof that his cause is just. I have no idea how that one works. \~/ \~/ \~/
Apparently Remy Did know that Teabag was the Teacher. Which COMPLETELY contradicts something Remy thought earlier, where he thought that it would be great to get away from Teabag. And then he poisoned Remy.
Finally He says,
My... I'm just... trying to find the words to describe the utter words of lacking here that... just can't describe my feeling here. There. Are. No. Words. Just. No. Words.
*guzzles another bottle*
*Cries*
*scurries off somewhere to hide*
Drinks: 23 and two bottles
Page 403 of 459 with big pictures! We're in the home stretch!
Sophie and Langdon finally get to Newton's tomb... with Orbs. And winged naked boys, and "an enormous orb". Large fleshy orbs. Well maybe not that. But still. Yammering about celestial bodies and Venus and yes. Blah, blah. \~/
And then they noticed that someone put some graffiti on Newton's tomb in pencil. Barely visible. Which makes me wonder... what if they didn't see it? I mean, that's taking a very big risk. Anyway it says, "I have Teabag. Go through Chapter House, out south exit, to public garden." Grammar killing me, must shoot, random people. Forced to talk, like Shatner,help, trapped in fortune cookie, factory can't get out. \~/
Sap... I almost wrote Saphira here. Which is interesting, because Sophie appears to have about the same roll in the Code as Saphira does in Eragon. Something to think about. Useless female sidekicks? ANYway, Sophie and Langdon discuss whether or not this could be a trap and stuff. And they decide to go and do it. Blah blah blah, they go to the Chapter House. \~/ \~/ \~/
There is lots of description. I skip over it. \~/
Finally they get to thingy and in there they see...\~/
Wait for it. \~/
Continue waiting for it. \~/
Keep on going...\~/
Teabing. With a gun pointed at them. \~/ \~/ \~/ \~/
*guzzles bottle*
*hic*
Heeee... *giggles*
*passes out*
*returns to waking with a massive hangover*
Riiiiight.
Now we get the Villain's Monologue ©. \~/
No Really. Three pages of it. \~/
First he tells us that he had been trying to keep them out of harms way, but their persistence has put them in danger. That he had no intention of them being involved and that this all their fault because they came to him for help. Also, if he wanted to hurt them, they'd be dead by now.
He continues saying that he's a deeply honorable man and would only sacrifice people who were betrayed the holy grail. He discovered a horrible truth; the priory wasn't going to release the documents at the End of Days. Grandpa didn't do it because he felt that the time wasn't right. It wasn't the End of Days. He says that he killed Grandpa and the others because they betrayed the grail.
Some gobbilty gook about the church being evil and making grandpa sell out. And that he wanted to tell Sophie the truth about her family. The deaths of her mom, dad, grandma and brother were not accidental. The Church killed them to keep Grandpa silent. His proof of all this is that the new millennium has arrived and the word hasn't come out. Since Teabag felt that Grandpa had betrayed the grail, he had been dead a long time ago and thus he didn't kill grandpa. And that now grandpa is free of his pane and shame.
Now they're free to fulfill their destiny of releasing the news of the holy grail to the world.
Now, look at this. First of all, we have no idea how Teabag got from out of the back seat of the car since Remy clearly didn't know he was the Teacher. And Teabag was clearly at the park before Remy got there and clearly tied up before hand. Then, who put him in charge of deciding what is the right thing for the Priory to do? Is he apart of it? No. But he's some... nitwit who's obsessed to freakish levels with it. I mean obviously psychotic levels of it. And how does he know when it's the End of Times? Does he have a calendar? I mean really, aren't there supposed to be signs for the End Of Times? \~/ \~/
I think he's been reading too much Jack Chick. \~/
Deep breath. Breath. I can breath.
Langdon has an intelligent thought. Get out of there.
Teabag gives them the Keystone back as a token of trust.
He then uses the fact that Landon and Sophie randomly came to his house with the Keystone is proof that his cause is just. I have no idea how that one works. \~/ \~/ \~/
Apparently Remy Did know that Teabag was the Teacher. Which COMPLETELY contradicts something Remy thought earlier, where he thought that it would be great to get away from Teabag. And then he poisoned Remy.
Finally He says,
"Listen. Can you hear it? The Grail is speaking to us across centuries. She is begging to be saved from the Priory's folly. I implore you both to recognize this opportunity. There could not possibly be three more capable people assembled at this moment to break the final code and open the cryptex." Teabag paused, his eyes alight. "We need to swear an oath together. A pledge of faith to one another. A knight's allegiance to uncover the truth and make it known."
My... I'm just... trying to find the words to describe the utter words of lacking here that... just can't describe my feeling here. There. Are. No. Words. Just. No. Words.
*guzzles another bottle*
*Cries*
*scurries off somewhere to hide*
Drinks: 23 and two bottles
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no subject
Date: 2007-11-14 07:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-14 07:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-14 02:38 pm (UTC)*head explodes*
Can I join you in that hiding spot?
no subject
Date: 2007-11-14 04:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-14 05:03 pm (UTC)This book gets more and more mind-numbingly stupid every time you update. Thank god you're nearing the end; I think any more exposure to this level of Terminally Stupid would be deadly.
no subject
Date: 2007-11-14 06:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-14 06:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-14 06:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-14 06:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-14 06:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-14 07:39 pm (UTC)(How the hell did I read it and not have my head explode? Oh, yeah, I kept skimming stuff looking for a plot or some fragment of sense. Yay.)
no subject
Date: 2007-11-14 08:26 pm (UTC)*cuddles up under a blanket*
no subject
Date: 2007-11-14 09:27 pm (UTC)And, you broke our record. We had some beans from 1991.
no subject
Date: 2007-11-14 09:41 pm (UTC)(How the hell did I read it and not have my head explode? Oh, yeah, I kept skimming stuff looking for a plot or some fragment of sense. Yay.)
You got off easy. You didn't have to pay attention.
no subject
Date: 2007-11-14 09:42 pm (UTC)We also have a can of macaroons from 1978. Every year for Passover we take it out, give it a shake, comment about how it's from 1978 and then put it back in the box for next year. It's practically a religious ritual now.
no subject
Date: 2007-11-14 09:50 pm (UTC)The two books have so much in common that Dan Brown might be able to sue himself for plagerism. So the wooOOooo secret is different, but you've got the church, the freaky assassin person, the staged death, and enough other similarities (I've tried so hard to forget them both, and seem to be succeeding) that I felt like I was reading the same book again. Do NOT make the same mistake.
no subject
Date: 2007-11-14 11:25 pm (UTC)(Topic came up because somebody mentioned kermode bears and somebody else connected that to Touching Spirit Bear and said it was a good read and I thought back to that sporking and went bwuh and linked all your sporkings. Dunno if the somebody else read the Spirit Bear sporking, though.)
no subject
Date: 2007-11-15 02:45 am (UTC)much like the one I hear whenever Dick Cheney is on TV.Of course, if Langdon has a truly intelligent thought, he would have run off while Teabag was mid-monologue. If he's like any other monologuing villain, he wouldn't notice their abscence until they were long gone.