the code is late for work. >.>

[kippurbird]

Note: Reading fic where Harry is about as naive in the matters of sex as my shoes and likes to wear panties for Uncle Sev who gets hard just thinking about that is a bad bad bad idea. \~/ *takes a drink to purge the memories.*


Now that Brown seems to be getting the hang of chapter endings, he needs to work on his character POV choices. In this chapter Langdon and P.T. Escape with the help of Andre the Banker who gets them into a bank truck and locks them in before driving off and tricking the police into thinking that he's just the driver. All very good and exciting, however, it's from the wrong person's POV. It's from Andre's. And we're not emotionally invested in Andre (we're not emotionally invested in anyone, but let's pretend that we are) and so we don't particularly care about him. We want to know how Langdon is feeling about finding the mysterious thingy and what it must be and having to rush through the bank to the loading dock (Which we don't see) and then having to get into the small enclosed space (he's claustrophobic) to escape. Hell, that should have been a scene in it's self. Langdon protesting about getting in there, there has to be another way, P.T. and Andre convincing him they have to go, get in the truck, him getting in there warily. If we had seen this we might have actually cared about him. But instead he just gets into the truck. He doesn't even get a full sentence either, "As Sophie and Langdon climbed in,..." No emotional hint that he might be having problems with such an enclosed space or anything. This is a defining moment here for Langdon. Can he get into the small space and get away or is his phobia going to hold him back. In fact this phobia should have been showing up a lot more. It's a weakness of his and one that should be exploited.

Instead of such tight drama we go back to Silas. Who's just punished himself...sorry Disciplined himself. FINALLY page 202 in my copy, he learns that he's going to have being going after someone else, that the information has been transfered. But he doesn't find out who. We know who, because we are "clever" like that.

I'd do more, but I'm late for work. WHEE... And the next chapter is long.

Comments

[dove-cg.livejournal.com]

Little Miss Mary! (I actually missed chapter 4 sporking by mistake and only saw 5 recently... I've been skimming to save my brain cells though. Ugh...)

As for this scene... okay. You know what? The Da Vinci movie was horrible. I am now VERY amused by the people who said the book was better. You want to know why? The movie included not only some of Langdon's claustrophobia (it didn't show him protesting before going in but it showed him reacting in the truck and Sophie having to calm him down with something her mother always did) but a flashback as to what Sophie's family was like before they died. Plus, switching perspectives like this works better in the movie. Why? We learn the driver was really the banker after he convinces the police to let him go. Not the best strategy but it works. And the films are generally okay with looser, weaker PoV choices.

Then again, maybe the long chapter had some of this crap in it. It probably does. But eh... maybe he was trying to make the banker sympathetic before he double-crossed them or something? Either way, the idea that the book is better than the movie is still flawed by the fact that the book sucks. :D

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

I kinda liked the movie. It kept my attention for the most part and was entertaining. But yes, I agree with you.

[kunolacarai.livejournal.com]

It's a weakness of his and one that should be exploited.

Few things are as instructive in the art of good writing as bad writing. (That's one of the reasons I like your sporkings so much. I've commented here before anonymously.) A character's actions should really be defined by who that character is, not by the convenience of the plot. It's just wrong when someone develops a phobia out of nowhere (for plot or characterization purposes), then loses it in another scene. They just don't seem real enough anymore.

I think this was the problem of some of my earlier writing. Don't ask me to show any of my earlier works to you. I have an urge to imitate Silas and flay myself for what I've written.

[berseker.livejournal.com]

I can´t believe he missed this chance. Playing with phobias is one of the coolest things ever. Brown managed to not only blunder the characterization of the guy, but to miss a great opportunity so put some fun in this boring book.