The code becomes a woman.

[kippurbird]

Remember the priest from the Airport who wanted to die because he used his cell phone on the plane. Right? Well, we're back to him. He's picked up in a Fiat sedan and remembers the good old days when he got to ride in a fancy car with lots of flags and things but now because of 'cost cutting' or as he thinks of it a security measure they have to have unmarked cars because "advertising your love of Jesus Christ was like painting a bull's-eye on the roof of your car". For some reason that feels like a drink. \~/. Because I honestly can't recall anything of that sort of thing happening. I could be UTTERLY wrong, but I can't recall. Anyway, Priest is going to Castel Gandolfo Or Gandalf's Castle. where he went five months ago. We then flash back to his trip five months ago when he had gotten a mysterious phone call from the Vatican requesting his presence. He goes expecting the that the Pope wants a picture opportunity because the Vatican likes "modern" things. There's some dribble about how the new Pope is evil because he likes modern things and is a Liberal *GASP* And the new Pope wants to maybe soften the church laws which is EVIL because it would be rewriting the laws of God. \~/, \~/

Excuse me while I laugh over here.

Jews received their laws from God. On Mount Sinai. With Moses. The Torah? That's, according to Orthodox Tradition, from God's mouth to Moses' ears. In it are all the laws from keeping Kosher to sacrifices. The Sermon on the Mount that Jesus did basically said, to be in touch with God you don't need to follow those rules. They were just things that kept you from God. (this isn't exactly right, I'm trying to remember what my mother told me, I'd ask her exactly, but she's asleep). Anyway the gist that I'm trying to get her is that basically what Jesus did was rewrite the laws of God. I suppose there could be some sort of protest saying "Well Jesus is God/Son of God/Prophet of God" and all but from the JEWISH standpoint, that's what happened.

But I digress.

Cell phone priest is surprised when his car takes him to the Pope's summer home instead of the Vatican. There he comments about how the two Telescope domes are ugly and that the Vatican is Evil for failing to provide "Coherent, stringent guidelines for spiritual growth and yet somehow still found time to give astrophysics lectures to tourists." There,

Bishop Aringarosa would have never imagined the shocking news he was to receive inside, or the deadly chain of events it would put into motion. It was not until an hour later, as he staggered from the meeting that the devastating implications settled in. Six months from now! he had thought. God help us!

Ladies and gentlemen, I regret to inform you but the Pope is becoming a woman in six months and will answer to the name of Lisa. \~/ >.>

It's been five months since he was last there and he's upset that the Teacher hasn't called him. I guess he misses the phone sex. So he distracts himself with something shiny. "Trying to ease his nerves, the bishop meditated on the purple amethyst in his ring". \~/

We then go back to Perky Tits and Langdon. In the train station Perky Tits has Langdon buy two tickets with his credit card. And then instead of boarding the train they go out the station and to find that Taxi cab driver is waiting for them. They get in the cab and speed off somewhere. As they do that they examine the key and smell alcohol on it It turns out that grandpa also had time to write something on the key. \~/ (Really, why didn't he just wait around for someone to find him? He obviously wasn't that badly wounded, I mean look at what he was able to do!) Surprisingly we're told what it says on the key. It's an address.

The address is 14 Rue Haxo.

As they drive off to this place, Perky Tits tells Langdon that she wants him to tell her all about the Priory of Sion.

Meanwhile Fache gets pissy that a girl and a teacher are eluding him and calls Interpool. He's not going to let them get the best of them. HA! Poor Fache, he's being set up as the typical fumbling bumbling police officer who's so good at his job but for some reason can't catch two people who should be easy to catch. God forbid he actually be a worthy adversary. Nope. He's just a clown in a policeman's clothing. \~/


I believe my icon currently states how I feel about the story right now. I'm on page 165 and I don't give a damn about what happens to anyone. They're all idiots and fools and just bumbling around. The mystery of the Priory doesn't mean anything to me as information about it isn't seeded through the story but instead going to be infodumped in the next chapter. I just want something exciting to happen. Something with tension. just SOMETHING!

Drinks: seven

Comments

[charliesmum.livejournal.com]

I LOVE your icon and want to steal it.

Perky Tits. Hee.

Did you read Angels and Demons? Langon survives being pushed from a helicopter with no parachute. Really.

[the-norseman.livejournal.com]

Did he tear of his silk shirt, form it into a balloon, and fill it with hot air by talking into it?

[charliesmum.livejournal.com]

Hee. You're not far off. I think he grabbed a blanket or something and used it as a parachute. It slowed him down enough, apparently, so he could land in the river without dying.

[berseker.livejournal.com]

What do you mean, you want something to happen? What about the... stuff, and things, and the... uh... stuff. It´s exciting. They´re running! What more do you want?

Also, sad about the Pope. Lisa, huh? Oh, well.

[dove-cg.livejournal.com]

I think another major problem is that the whole point of why anyone else even gives a damn about the Priory is given very little attention. Nothing here seems to affect the rest of the world. Just these dumb asses. It could work if the plot revelations were supposed to be small but Dan Brown tries to make it sound as if it is major. Hence the trouble. Or something.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

You may!

It's all Mel's fault, the Perky Tits. I blame her.

No, I have not. But that's pretty good. Can he leap buildings in a single bound too?

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Chickens run, but that doesn't mean they're exciting to watch.

Yeah, I know, but apparently it was his... hers? life ambition.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Because the Priory is So IMPORTANT THEY CONTROL THE WORLD?! Or.. something. I dunno.... They're evil? They... I give up.

[(Anonymous)]

I would be wondering that too, but then I remember all the protests from Christians of various stripes when the movie came out. I remember seeing a guy outside the theater with a protest sign telling people not too see it. I think a better strategy would be to encourage people to see it so they could see how stupid the claims are.

Anyway, my point is that if so many people can get so worked up about a stupid movie based on a stupid book, it's not hard to imagine some church people getting equally worked up about a dumb secret society.

[dove-cg.livejournal.com]

What I meant was that, within the story world itself, there seems to be little reason for anyone to care because Dan Brown has yet to show a reason they should, other than the random, stereotypically contrived crap about how Christianity is evil. And while a case can be made for that, as it can for anything, Dan Brown certainly fails at making it sound remotely plausible.

Basically, no one in Dan Brown's world knows any of this is going on, no one wants to know it is going on, and frankly it seems as if nothing at all would change if anyone knew about the events taking place. (Other than the fact that logic would prevail, Langdon would be off the hook, and Silas would be charged with murder.) Yet, supposedly, Dan Brown suggests everything in the story is epic and amazing. So the people in his world should care... but absolutely no one does, including the readers. ;P

[dove-cg.livejournal.com]

Because the Priory will liberate people who seem to have no idea that they need liberating. It's like a rebellion that apparently has no support from the public.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

One of those secret rebellions?

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

But don't you understand the fate of SOMETHING is at stake here! You see, this is a bad thing when you don't know what is at stake. Because then you don't know why you should be invested in the story.

[sermocinare.livejournal.com]

Langdon = Indiana Jones wannabe. But he'll never be as cool as Indy, no matter what he does. Even if he were to put on a leather jacket and a hat.