More list crackiness.

Even more, more things I'm not allowed to do at work

• Business casual does not mean jeans and a tie, or a tie and a Hawaiian shirt with Bermuda shorts. Or just a tie and nothing else.
  
• This goes back to the clothing is mandatory rule.
• Even thought they sound alike: Cereals are not the same as serials. I will not confuse the two and order Corn Pops for the Library collection.
• Serial killers are also not apart of the collection.
• A betting pool for when they will actually start construction on the new library is not allowed.
• even if the winnings will be donated to the new library fund.
  
• If it ever happens.
• Underneath my desk is not my secret fort.
  
• They can see me there.
• I can't use boxes to make it more secure
• Nor may I use rubber bands to protect myself from intruders.
• My co-workers are not intruders.
• Nor is any other staff member of the school
• Or Student.
• Or patron.
  
• Saying "but I saw a fly on them, really" doesn't count.
  
• Geckos are not appropriate window dressings.
  
• I will not put things on the windows at all
• Even if they're not alive.
  
• I cannot interface with the computer with my mind.
• Or my fingers.
• In fact I'm not an android.
• Robot
• machine
• or anything similar.
• I may not play Qudditch in the library.
• Or on school grounds
• Even if I can get a team together.
• Quodpot counts.
  
• Actually, since in Quodpot the balls explode, the rule is double for that.
  
• I will not tell new students that wolves occasionally attack people.
  
• There are no wolves in the area.
• While there may be coyotes in the area, they don't attack people either.
• Nor do the deer.
  
• It is perfectly safe to go walking in the fog. Nothing bad will happen to you if you do.
• No, the meatloaf is not made out of the remains of failing students.
  
• Nobody wants to touch my spirit bear.
• Or see how big my wand is.
  
• Yes, I know I have an actual wand, I still may not say that.
  
• Even if I bring it to work with me.
• Paint is not an acceptable clothing substitute.
  
• I will not preform any experiment I see on Mythbusters.
• Even if it works.
  
• Especially if it involves explosives of some sort.
  
• The president of the university is not "They".
  
• He does not have a spy camera in the clock in the office.
  
• He is not listening to what I say.
  
• He doesn't care what I do on the internet.
  
• My mom said I could is not an appropriate excuse to do something.
• Even if she said I could.
  
• The cat made me do it is also not an excuse.
  
• I may not recite Edgar Allen Poe's poem the Bells.
  
• I may not sing songs from the Sound of Music
• The Music Man
• Fiddler on the Roof
• Or any other musical.
• In fact, I may not sing at all.
  
• I am not Indiana Jones. The Holy Grail is not in the Beit Midrash.
• I may wear a fedora
• But not carry a whip.
  
• Imitating Freakazoid while going places is highly annoying and dumb. I will not do this.
  
• There are no alligators in the toilets.
  
• Dressing up as an Imperial Trooper while playing Darth Vader's theme is expressly forbidden.
  
• Even if I get other people to join it.
• I will not stand by the elevator and demand that people answer me these questions three.
  
• My staff does not have a knobby end on it.
  
• Even if it does have one.
• I may not ask people if they want to see my pointy hat trick.
  
• I do not own a pointy hat.
• Even if I do own one.
• If I think of something that may end up on this list, I may not do it.
• Duct tape is not my friend.
• The tape gun is not my friend.
• Masking tape is not my friend
• I may not build a box fort with the better world boxes.
  
• The Cage is not where the dangerous books are kept.
  
• I do not have the president on speed dial.
  
• Or the governor
• Or the Mayor.
• I will not tell people so.
• People do not want to be my special friend. I will quit asking that question.
  
• I will not answer the phone by saying "Phone Confessions, You confess, we forgive"
• "Jews for Jesus, have you been saved?"
  
• Church of Scientology, how may I help you today?
• I will keep a copy of this list on me at all times, and refer to it when ever I think of doing something.
  
• Even that.
  
• Yes. That too.
• You know what I mean.