Eldest part twenty seven

Chapters Child's Play, Premonition of War



Summary

We go back to Nasuada for our next two chapters. Nasuada and Elva.

Nasuada is looking over the lace that the magic users are making when all of a sudden Elva bursts in and tackles Nasuada throwing her to the ground just as a thingy goes flying through the air and thumping into the wall. Nasuada is very WTF? and Elva is all creepy, with her all knowing voice. She also vomits. Apparently her knocking Nasuada to the floor broke her need to protect people and she so she had to vomit. A dart is discovered in the wall and Elva knows all about it.

The girl's horrible smile widened. "It was an assassin."

"Who sent him?"

"An assassin trained by Galbatorix himself in the dark uses of magic." Her burning eyes grew half-lidded, as if she were in a trance. "The man hates you. He's coming for you. He would have killed you if I hadn't stopped him." She lurched forward and retched again, spewing half-digested food across the floor. Nasuada gagged with revulsion. "And he's about to suffer great pain."

"Why is that"

"Because I will tell you he stays in the hostel on Fane Street, in the last room, on the top floor. You had bettter hurry, or he'll get away...away." She groaned like a wounded beast and clutched her belly. "Hurry, before Eragon's spell forces me to stop you from hurting him. You'll be sorry, then!" (page 519)

First of all, Elva might want to get her eyes checked out. After all they're burning rather randomly and then they grow half a lid. The spell that Eragon placed upon Elva requires her to shield everyone, so she shouldn't be able to tell them about the where the assassin is. Even if she wanted to. This ability to shield people seems to be rather convenient, sure she retches like mad but still, she shouldn't be able to do it at all, after all the spell was said in the ancient language and that means it's the truth. It is fact. There shouldn't be any loopholes in fact. She shouldn't be able to tell anyone something that would be able to hurt them. It should be incapable of coming out of her mouth. But this doesn't seem to matter for drama's sake. After all it's much more dramatic for her to come barreling in and knocking her down and then vomiting then for her... not doing anything at all.

After that incident, Nasuada tells them to go capture the guy and then retreats to her inner chambers where she tells Elva, "I'm in your debt" and Elva says, "You're right." And Nasuada goes, "So what can I do for you?" and Elva goes, "Got anything to eat?" And that's the entirety of the three page chapter. So, it must be asked, what was the point of this chapter or scene? It showed that Nasuada is a target. Something that we already knew. That Elva can know things, which could have been shown in another way. Nothing really happened, if anything, it could have been part of the next chapter which takes place two hours later. There was no need to separate it out into its own chapter.

They bring back the assassin, who Nasuada "felt a certain connection to him, as if his attempt on her life and the fact that she had arranged his death in return linked them in the most intimate manner possible" (page 521). So, basically it sounds like Nasuada is getting sexually excited over being near this dead guy who she ordered to be killed. That's a very interesting kink there.

The assassin, Drail, "was part of a network of agents based here in Sudra who are loyal to Galbatorix. They are called the Black Hand. They spy on us, sabotage our war efforts, and -best we could determine in our brief glimpse into Drail's memories - are responsible for dozens of murders through out the Varden." (page 521) So, we have the Evil King's Evil Assassins' being called the Black Hand. Can we get anymore cliched than that? And if that's not bad enough, this is the first time they've ever heard of the Black Hand. They should have a spy network within the King's court and networks that would allow them to know about these things before hand. And tell them about such things.

Nasuada seems to think that it's the magic users fault for not discovering the Black Hand sooner. After all they've been sifting through everyone's minds, so they should know these things. Apparently more mundane methods elude her. After all people have been spying on others without magic before, so it's perfectly possible to do this. But then again, if you have magic, why bother with the mundane?

After yelling at her magician for not finding out about this sooner, Nasuada is summoned to king Orrin's council chambers. Elva accompanies her. The king's Prime Minister is named Irwin. I have a picture of a small Jewish nerdy looking man with thick glasses now. He doesn't seem very Prime Minister like. Again, Paolini needs to work on his name choices.

In any case, apparently Orrin's spies misplaced an army. See, they thought the King's army was in Gil'ead but instead it's really moving past Uru'baen and it's a lot larger than they thought it was. Over a hundred thousand soldiers. They say that it's the king's magic that made fool of them. I'm not really sure how you can hide an army that big, it leaves traces, even if you physically hide them. You have to be really unobservant to not notice what a hundred thousand people do to the landscape. But then again, we've already realized that most of these people fail their listen and spot checks, so I guess it's not unreasonable for them to not notice an army moving past.

They start planning for war, because Galby is coming to invade. This includes getting Eragon back and getting help from the dwarves.

Then the matter of Lace comes up again. Orrin wants to know about this lace thing that the weaver guilds are complaining about. Apparently the Varden's lace making efforts are putting a hurt on people's livelihoods. As they're selling it inside Sudra as well as in the Empire. Nasuada's answer to that is, "Oh dear. If it's too much of a burden for your treasury, the Varden would be more than willing to offer you a loan in return for the kindness that you've shown us... at a suitable rate of interest, of course." (page 529). Yes, the Varden just bit the mouth that fed them. King Orrin, has been more than generous in taking the Varden into his country and helping support them. And in return they start to put some of his people's lively hood out of business and they're not sorry about it at all. This is not how you treat your allies, especially when you're living in their country. Orrin didn't have to let the Varden in, he was doing them a favor, despite the hardship it placed on his people. Nasuada should be more than grateful towards him and at least have enough sense to not sell her magical lace in Sudra. But apparently this doesn't really matter, as long as the Varden is funded.

Mark Twain, Early Sporker

It appears that Christopher Paolini has something in common with a classic piece of American Literature. This piece of literature being the books of Fenimore Cooper. And this is not a good thing. At least according to Mark Twain. And as Mark Twain is an expert at literature and what a good story is, I'm going to take his word for this.

Mark Twain declares that the books, Deerslayer and Pathfiner violate eighteen out of nineteen rules of literary writing. I would like to say that Eragon and Eldest also violate these rules.

These rules being and Coopers offenses (Paolini's in italics).

1. That a tale shall accomplish something and arrive somewhere. But the "Deerslayer" tale accomplishes nothing and arrives in air. If we look at Eldest, we are currently almost done with the book and we haven't accomplished anything nor have we ended up anywhere, as nothing has happened.

2. They require that the episodes in a tale shall be necessary parts of the tale, and shall help to develop it. But as the "Deerslayer" tale is not a tale, and accomplishes nothing and arrives nowhere, the episodes have no rightful place in the work, since there was nothing for them to develop. Again, in both Eragon and Eldest, we have found numerous random scenes where nothing has happened could have been cut entirely

3. They require that the personages in a tale shall be alive, except in the case of corpses, and that always the reader shall be able to tell the corpses from the others. But this detail has often been overlooked in the "Deerslayer" tale. Seeing as how Paolini's characters are all about as alive as a corpse, I think once again, he breaks this rule.

4. They require that the personages in a tale, both dead and alive, shall exhibit a sufficient excuse for being there. But this detail also has been overlooked in the "Deerslayer" tale. Any one know why Elva is there? Anyone? Please, tell me. What about Angela?

5. The require that when the personages of a tale deal in conversation, the talk shall sound like human talk, and be talk such as human beings would be likely to talk in the given circumstances, and have a discoverable meaning, also a discoverable purpose, and a show of relevancy, and remain in the neighborhood of the subject at hand, and be interesting to the reader, and help out the tale, and stop when the people cannot think of anything more to say. But this requirement has been ignored from the beginning of the "Deerslayer" tale to the end of it. As everyone in Eragon and Eldest seem to have varying speech patterns and we have random conversations for no reason, again this is another mark.

6. They require that when the author describes the character of a personage in the tale, the conduct and conversation of that personage shall justify said description. But this law gets little or no attention in the "Deerslayer" tale, as Natty Bumppo's case will amply prove. The heroes of Paolini's work often do things worse than the villains and the Villain appears to have done nothing wrong at all

7. They require that when a personage talks like an illustrated, gilt-edged, tree-calf, hand-tooled, seven- dollar Friendship's Offering in the beginning of a paragraph, he shall not talk like a negro minstrel in the end of it. But this rule is flung down and danced upon in the "Deerslayer" tale. Like mentioned at point five, with the varying speech flows that everyone has, they wander all over the place,

8. They require that crass stupidities shall not be played upon the reader as "the craft of the woodsman, the delicate art of the forest," by either the author or the people in the tale. But this rule is persistently violated in the "Deerslayer" tale. I believe this goes to Eragon's Zombie horses and traveling feats. As well as that missing army.

9. They require that the personages of a tale shall confine themselves to possibilities and let miracles alone; or, if they venture a miracle, the author must so plausibly set it forth as to make it look possible and reasonable. But these rules are not respected in the "Deerslayer" tale. Um... Eragon learning how to become a swordmaster in less than a month everyone?

10. They require that the author shall make the reader feel a deep interest in the personages of his tale and in their fate; and that he shall make the reader love the good people in the tale and hate the bad ones. But the reader of the "Deerslayer" tale dislikes the good people in it, is indifferent to the others, and wishes they would all get drowned together. Paolini's characters have about as much interest as a lump of salt

11. They require that the characters in a tale shall be so clearly defined that the reader can tell beforehand what each will do in a given emergency. But in the "Deerslayer" tale, this rule is vacated. I can't tell what anyone is going to do at any given point. It's like spinning a wheel. They don't act from past actions, but as Paolini needs them to act.



Then there are these smaller offenses that they both violate.

12. Say what he is proposing to say, not merely come near it.

13. Use the right word, not its second cousin.

14. Eschew surplusage.

15. Not omit necessary details.

16. Avoid slovenliness of form.

17. Use good grammar.

18. Employ a simple and straightforward style.

The rest of the essay is here. But I think it's fascinating how similar they are. Perhaps Cooper was the Paolini of his day? Or at least as bad in his craft as Paolini is.

Eldest part twenty eight

Chapters Red Blade, White Blade; Visions Near and Far


Summary

It's two days after the blood oath ceremony. Eragon no longer needs to sleep, instead he goes into trances that are like waking dreams. There's no reference as to why he does this, or how it happens, but if Eragon is truly elf like, then it could be said that this is because of his transformation. Elves apparently don't sleep. This is something that many elves don't do, from Tolkien to the D&D elves. So, since elves do this, then Paolini's elves do this. Which is all the reason that they need.

Eragon feels that it wasn't his fault for what he said to Arya because he was the equivalent to being drunk. Even if he meant every word of it. Arya, however, had enough of him and has gone on to Sudra. To distract him from his broken heart, Eragon picks up the puzzle ring.

To keep himself from brooding over Arya, Eragon took Orik's puzzle ring from his nightstand and rolled it between his fingers, marveling at how keen his senses had become. He could feel every flaw in the twisted metal. As he studied the ring, he perceived a pattern in the arrangement of the gold bands, a pattern that has escaped him before. Trusting his instinct, he manipulated the bands in the sequence suggested by his observation. To his delight, the eight pieces fit together perfectly, forming a solid whole. He slid the ring onto the fourth finger of his right hand, admiring how the woven bands caught the light. (page 551)

His uber elf powers have now allowed him to solve this ring that his human senses didn't. He doesn't get to solve this ring because he figured it out on his own through determination and practice, but because he's now an elf. This is once again Paolini proving that humans are idiots and elves are perfect, because they can sense the way that the ring needs to be put together while humans just fumble around in the dark.

After doing the ring, Eragon goes off to the practice fields. Vanir is there to challenge him. Eragon draws his sword and feels so light that he pulls it out harder than he needs to and sends it flying into a tree. It sticks in the tree so hard that Vanir has trouble getting it out. He and Eragon then spar. And Eragon is amazed at how easy it is. He now has the speed and strength of the elves. He even manages to jump ten feet into the air and flips over. This reminds me of the joke, where the guy goes into surgery for his hands and asks his doctor, will I be able to play the piano when I'm done, and the doctor goes, of course. Great says the guy, I've never been able to play before. Never before has Eragon shown the ability to do such flips, but now since he's been elfified, he can.


Eragon breaks Vanir's arm and Vanir goes over to the dark side telling Eragon that is worthy of being a Rider. He's even happy that his arm is broken by Eragon, saying that he can say I was beat by Eragon Shadeslayer. Done beating up the elves, he goes and practices his archery skills. Once again he defies nature by being able to shoot thirty arrows in one minute. On his thirty-first arrow he shatters his bow, by pulling too hard. Eragon is sad at the loss of the bow as he killed his first deer with it and his first Urgal with it and did magic with it for the first time.

When Eragon goes and tells Yoda what has happened to him, Yoda wants to know if he minds being changed. Eragon doesn't. After all his back stopped hurting. Yoda tells him he should be glad for this gift -and gift it is- and now they're on the right track. So, once again, Eragon as human was useless and only now that he is an elf everything is going to be okay. Eragon couldn't do what he needed to do as a human, he needed to be transformed, and not by hard work or by learning, but by random magic that has never done that before. Yoda then starts to put him through his paces.

As Eragon struggled to complete the third level of the Rimgar, it became obvious that he still lacked the elve's balance and flexibility, two attributes that even the elves had to work to acquire. In a way, he welcomed these limitations, for if he was perfect, what was left for him to accomplish?

The following weeks were difficult for Eragon. One one hand, he made enormous progress with his training, mastering subject after subject that had once confounded him. He still found Oromis's lessons challenging, but he no longer felt as if hew were drowning in a sea of his own inadequacy. It was easier for Eragon to read and write, and his increased strength meant that he could now cast eleven spells that required so much energy, they would kill any normal human. His strength also made him aware of how weak Oromis was compared to other elves. (page 537)

Of course, being an elf means that he's smarter and can read better. And everything is just better. But he's not perfect, even though he's beautiful, can fight better than anyone, do things that he couldn't do before he's not perfect. He's just the next best thing. For our ironic sentence competition, I'd like to nominate, "In a way, he welcomed these limitations, for if he was perfect, what was left for him to accomplish?"

So, time passes and one day Eragon goes off to contemplate ants and he hears everything. From plants to birds to single celled organisms. He decides that "the land itself was alive and sentient. Intelligent life, he concluded, existed everywhere." (page 538) I'd like to disagree with that point. While there maybe life everywhere, I don't think that it is all sentient or intelligent. Sentience requires a certain level of awareness and cognitive abilities that many animals, lower life forms, and plants don't have. Most of what they do is reactive to their environment, it's all instinctive movement, they don't think about it, they just do, reacting to stimulus from the outside world. To call all life intelligent, while a fanciful idea, is illogical.

In any case, Eragon goes to Yoda and tells him what he's heard and is told, if there were still riders around he'd be conferred as a full rider. He then gets to learn one of the greatest secrets of magic. You don't need to get energy from yourself, but instead can steal it from the world around you. Eragon tries it and kills off a baby mouse and some other cute critters and is horrified, vowing never to use this sort of magic again. But he's perfectly okay with the idea of killing other sentient creatures. Eragon wants to know if it is possible to get magical energy from non-living things, like fire. Yoda tells him that reason says it's possible but no one has found the way to do it yet. I bet by the end of the three books, Eragon figures it out.

Finally we get the elven view of religion. Eragon goes to Yoda and says, "hey, what's your religion" and Yoda says, "We believe that the world behaves according to certain inviolable rules and that, by persistent effort we can discover those rules and use them to predict events when circumstances repeat." (page 541)

He then goes on to further explain, "But I can tell you that in the millennia we elves have studied nature, we have never witness where the rules that govern the world have been broken. That is, we have never seen a miracle. Many events have defied our ability to explain, but we are convinced that we failed because we are still woefully ignorant about the universe and not because a deity altered the workings of nature." (page 542)

The elves must live in a very dull world when they can't believe in miracles. In any case the elves use logic to explain the world, using magic to discover things instead of science, thus allowing them to have a belief in something other than a god. However even though they admit that they can't prove or disprove the existence of the gods, they still ridicule the dwarves for their belief in gods. Because they have faith in something, as opposed to having proof. There is nothing wrong with having faith, in fact, one could say that the elves have faith that their way of thinking things is correct and that the dwarves are wrong. They believe that reason will explain everything away, even the things that they can't explain.

Yoda brings up the fact that coral isn't really growing rock but instead living and growing organisms and the fact that the dwarves refuse to believe this and instead feel that it is the life within the stone that is being felt and that they can feel the life within all stone. There's no reason why the dwarves can't be right. Yes, coral is made from small animals, but still that doesn't have to negate their belief. And for all we know, the dwarves do have the ability to detect life within all stone, after all just because the elves can't do it, doesn't mean that others can't.

The elves also apparently don't believe in an afterlife. So, that leaves the question of what is this "void" that they are always talking about? That indicates some sort of afterlife, even if it isn't one where people are playing their harps and everything.

This discovery that there is no gods and that there is no afterlife disturbs Eragon greatly. After all if the elves were right then everyone else is deluded. Of course, the elves are right because they're elves and right in everything. Saphira says that dragons don't believe in higher powers because they're so powerful and that he "shouldn't ignore reality in order to comfort yourself, for once you do, you make it easy for others to deceive you." (page 544)

That night Eragon has some bad dreams and discovers that someone is scrying on him again. As this leaves him upset and unable to regain his trance he goes to read. And the white raven shows up spouting two riddles or nonsense.

By beak and bone
Mine blackened stone
sees rooks and crooks
and bloody brooks

He then says, "Son and father alike, both as blind as bats"

This gets Eragon going "You know who my father is?"

While two may share two
And one of two is certainly one,
One might be two

Is the raven's reply before flying off. I'm not even going to try and make sense of these riddles. There isn't enough to work with in either of them.

Eragon decides that he needs to scry upon Arya and see how she is. He discovers her in Sudra and they're discussing the up coming war. Eragon learned a spell that allows you to hear things in your scry, which allows him to hear the conversation that is going on, but not see all the people in the room. One would imagine that he would only be able to hear the people he can see, but that would be logical. If he couldn't hear the other people in the room talking, he wouldn't be able to know that they're preparing for a war and it doesn't look good for them. Which would then mean that he wouldn't be able to make the decision to go help the Varden.

He then scrys on Roran, and discovers that he's on a boat with Jeod. Curious as to why Jeod is there he scrys on Teirm and discovers that their entire wharf have been destroyed. Then that Carvahall has been utterly burned to the ground. He's sad about this and cries and then decides that it's time to fight.

Was it time to challenge the Empire head-on, time to kill and rampage to the limit of their considerable abilities, time to unleash every ounce of their rage until Galbatorix lay dead before them? Was it time to commit themselves to a campaign that could take decades to resolve? (page549)

Yes, "to kill and rampage". Which is what the Empire is accused of doing. Killing and rampaging uncontrollably. Better that he say, "Time to bring the end of the Empire's rein of terror" or something like that, instead of admitting that he's going to kill and destroy things without caring as to the damage that it causes. This isn't why a hero goes to war, to kill and rampage. This is why a sociopath goes out to war. Heroes go to war to stop the killing, not to cause it.