Ahh... the fun of the Emergency room. Four hours and peeing in a cup to discover, well they don't know what's wrong. Might be a virus, Better see your doctor. So, I'm going to do that on Monday. c\~
/ <-- Tea
Meanwhile, on the DaVinci Code. We're finally (in theory)going to find out who the mysterious Grail is. If we recall, we now know it's a woman because DaVinci didn't paint a grail in the Last Supper picture. And Da Vinci is the be all end all know all on this subject. Right. c\~
They gather in Teabag's study which is cluttered beyond belief. Apparently it's one of those organizational systems where the person knows where everything is. At least that's my guess. Anyway, Teabag gives us this wonderful line. It's one of those lines that are supposed to be full of wisdom and... just cliche. "Learning the truth had become my life's love," Teabing said. "And the Sangreal is my favorite mistress." He's a devoted man, isn't he? c\~
So, we go on to show that there is a picture of the woman who is the Holy Grail, who Christ Himself claimed. Or so Teabag says. We look at the Last Supper. For visual reference
as this is the part that they'll be talking about.
Looking at the figure on right of Jesus, Sophie sees, "As she studied the person's face and body, a wave of astonishment rose within her. The individual had flowing red hair, delicate folded hands, and the hint of a bosom. It was without a doubt... female." c\~
Or a very pretty boy. Obviously Brown hasn't seen any Anime or Manga or else he'd know that. John apparently is often shown as a pretty young man, sometimes even sleeping on Jesus' shoulder. It's supposed to indicate how close they are. But my mind goes off into slashy places.
Anyway! We're assuming that Pretty Boy is a girl. Mary Magdalene to be exact. Who is not a prostitute according to Teabag. This is just another one of the Church's conspiracies to ... um... stop the Holy Grail, which is rea...
Previously Brown told us that the Holy Grail was really a sign for the Goddess and that when someone was searching for the Grail they were really looking for the goddess. Now Brown is telling us that the Holy Grail is really Mary Magdalene who was Jesus' wife... which the church suppressed because it would take away from Jesus' divinity. c\~
So, which one is it?
Brown just contradicted himself majorly. All this time we were being told it was the Church that was covering up and trying to hide the Goddess. The Goddess this. The Goddess that. Everything about the Goddess. The Chalice was really a symbol for the Goddess. The Goddess was wonderful. Everything would be better if we all believed in the Goddess.
And then, all of a sudden, out of left field, it's no longer the goddess, but Mary Magdalene. Who is NOT the goddess. In fact the fact that she is not divine is the entire point of why she's the problem. Jesus couldn't have married a mortal woman. Because, apparently, divine beings didn't do that. Though in the other mythologies they were doing it left, right, center and under the bed.
It's as if Brown couldn't decide which "conspiracy theory" he wanted to play with, so he did the first half with the Goddess and now he's going to do the second half with Mary Magdalene and pray that people don't notice. I imagine he figures that people are just going to skim this part (like they're doing with the rest of the book) to get to the good stuff, instead of the boring lecture stuff. c\~
Teabag continues with his proof. Mary and Jesus are wearing mirroring colors. The negative space between them forms a "v" which, obviously stands for the chalice. We get another "v" shape on the other side of Jesus too. Does that mean he was banging the apostle Thomas too? Or that Thomas is really a woman in drag? Now that's a conspiracy!
Moving on. Teabag's final bit of evidence is that Mary and Jesus form an "M" which is a Very Big Coincidence. Yup. And that countless Grail related works also include a hidden "M". Which stands for "Matrimonio" or Mary Magdalene. Matrimonio is apparently Italian for wedding. If the M is supposed to stand for the fact that Jesus and Mary were Married. Then it's highly unlikely that the artists would use an "M" because "Married" doesn't start with an "M" in all languages. Nor does wedding. As indicated by the fact that it doesn't start with an "M" in English. Unless you turn the "W" upside down. c\~
Now Teabag says that Jesus being married to Mary is a matter of record and highly more plausible than Jesus being a bachelor. Because, as Langdon says, Jesus was a Jew. "And the social decorum during that time virtually forbade a Jewish man to be unmarried. According to Jewish custom, celibacy was condemned, and the obligation for a Jewish father was to find a suitable wife for his son." Now why this is sort of true, it's not forbidden for a Jewish man to be unmarried. Instead it's forbidden for a married Jewish man not to have sex with his wife. In fact it's actually grounds for divorce in Judaism, if the woman isn't getting any. c\~
According to the Jewish Encyclopedia "The following causes are recognized as entitling the wife to demand a bill of divorce from her husband: refusal of conjugal rights (Ket. v. 6); impotence (Ned. xi. 12); when the husband has some loathsome disease, or leprosy, or is engaged in some malodorous business (Ket. vii. 9); the husband's refusal to support her (Ket. 77a); cruel treatment anddeprivation of her lawful liberty of person (Ket. vii. 2-5, v. 5); wife-beating (Eben ha-'Ezer, 154, 3, gloss); the husband's apostasy (Maimonides, "Yad," Ishut, iv. 15)—"
Pretty good, I think.
But I digress. If anything the fact that Jesus didn't get married probably stemmed from the fact that he was busy banging John. They were probably in a pederastic relationship. After all the times were right for those sorts of things.
Teabag brings out a book of Gnostic Gospels and has them look at the Gospel of Philip. There they read a passage about Mary being Jesus' companion and kissing him on the mouth a lot.
And the companion of the Savior is Mary Magdalene. Christ loved her more than all the disciples and used to kiss her often on her mouth. The rest of the disciples were offended by it and expressed disapproval. They said to him, "Why do you love her more than all of us?"
I'm sorry... but did Jesus kiss the other guys on the mouth too? c\~
/ That's some Orgy going on in the New Testament.
The Gospel of Philip actually says:c\~
As for the Wisdom who is called "the barren," she is the mother of the angels. And the companion of the [...] Mary Magdalene. [...] loved her more than all the disciples, and used to kiss her often on her mouth. The rest of the disciples [...]. They said to him "Why do you love her more than all of us?" The Savior answered and said to them,"Why do I not love you like her? When a blind man and one who sees are both together in darkness, they are no different from one another. When the light comes, then he who sees will see the light, and he who is blind will remain in darkness."
Missing words there. It's kinda like madlibs. "And the companion of the Flower Mary Magdalene. Turtle loved her more than all the disciples, and used to kiss her often on the mouth. The rest of the disciples drove. "
Companion apparently means "spouse" in Aramaic.
Sophie flashes back to when an angry priest banged on her grandfather's door. The priest was angry about an article that grandpa wrote that said that the Church shouldn't ban The Last Temptation of Christ
by Martin Scorsese. Sophie wonders if Jesus had a girlfriend and Grandpa says would that be so horrible, and she's says that she wouldn't mind. c\~
Then we go onto the Gospel of Mary Magdalene.
And Peter said, "Did the Saviour really speak with a woman without our knowledge? Are we to turn about and all listen to her? Did he prefer her to us?"
And Levi answered, "Peter, you have always been hot-tempered. Now I see you contending against the woman like an adversary. If the Saviour made her worthy, who are you indeed to reject her? Surely the Saviour knows her very well. That is why he loved her more than us."
text says :
1) When Mary had said this, she fell silent, since it was to this point that the Savior had spoken with her.
2) But Andrew answered and said to the brethren, Say what you wish to say about what she has said. I at least do not believe that the Savior said this. For certainly these teachings are strange ideas.
3) Peter answered and spoke concerning these same things.
4) He questioned them about the Savior: Did He really speak privately with a woman and not openly to us? Are we to turn about and all listen to her? Did He prefer her to us?
5) Then Mary wept and said to Peter, My brother Peter, what do you think? Do you think that I have thought this up myself in my heart, or that I am lying about the Savior?
6) Levi answered and said to Peter, Peter you have always been hot tempered.
7) Now I see you contending against the woman like the adversaries.
8) But if the Savior made her worthy, who are you indeed to reject her? Surely the Savior knows her very well.
9) That is why He loved her more than us. Rather let us be ashamed and put on the perfect Man, and separate as He commanded us and preach the gospel, not laying down any other rule or other law beyond what the Savior said.
10) And when they heard this they began to go forth to proclaim and to preach.
Quite a bit of difference here. They're not talking about Mary, but instead what Mary has said in regards to what Jesus has told her. (It still sounds like Peter is jealous that he's not getting any though). c\~
In the book (since this is the picture version) we see three paintings of the last supper showing Jesus with a woman. Two are the Last Supper by Jean Fouquet and one by Albrecht Durer. The supposed woman actually looks like a boy and goes on to prove my John theory. According to wikipedia "The Gospel of John contains references to the "disciple whom Jesus loved". Traditionally this was taken as a self reference by the author, and therefore a reference to John the Apostle." There's even article
about a potential homosexual relationship between the two of them. So apparently I'm not too off the mark here.
Teabag continues on to say that Mary was a member of the Tribe of Benjamin and thus of royal descent. However it's the tribe of JUDAH that has that particular honor. Though by the time of Jesus the tribe of Benjamin had been completely absorbed into the tribe of Judah so that there was no difference between them. c\~
He then says, "... It was not Mary Magdalene's royal blood that concerned the Church so much as it was her consorting with Christ who also
had royal blood. As you know, the Book of Matthrew tells us that Jesus was of the House of David. A descendant of King Solomon -King of the Jews. By marrying into the powerful house of Benjamin, Jesus fused two royal bloodlines, created a potent political union with the potential of making a legitimate claim to the throne and restoring the line of kings as it was under Solomon."
And this is a bad thing... why? I thought that the Church didn't want Mary to be know because Jesus was married to her and therefor made him not divine. Not because they were both of royal blood. And besides, Herod would probably have more worry over this than the Church, if it were true. After all he was king at the time. I would think that the Church would find Jesus being able to make a legitimate claim for the throne a good thing. Because then he'd be able to rule the land and do good things. c\~
The fact that there was a royal bloodline meant that they had a child. "Mary Magdalene was the Holy Vessel. She was the chalice the bore the royal bloodline of Jesus Christ. She was the womb that bore the lineage, and the vine from which the sacred fruit sprang forth!"
Um.. can someone explain to the poor Jew why this is a bad thing?
Thus, Teabag concludes, the Holy Grail is the story of Mary Magdalene and her child and NOT the goddess... which Brown had been saying all along. c\~
I like the Sex between John and Jesus better.